Season's Thievins

[OrochiGeese]

*We fade into the loading dock on the OG-Joshi side of the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena. A large truck marked "Coast 2 Coast Convoy" is parked adjacent to the dock. The driver wears a "L.A.W.L." trucker hat and is going over his manifest with Arena workers in front of the vehicle. Suddenly, a large figure dressed as Santa Claus, complete with a large red sack, ambles quickly over to the workers and begins doing a jig.*

[Santa:] "Gather ye round for some carols!"

*The workers wisely ignore him but this just causes him to dance more vigorously and begin singing.*

[Santa:] "Deck the walls with GOLD and silver, tralalalala, lalalala.
Look at me while my friend Kurt pilfers, tralalalala, lalalala"

*A loud sound of a hand slapping someone's own forehead is heard from behind the truck but no one notices.*

[Santa:] "Don ye trucks with GOLD apparel, tralala lalala, lalala.
The dead canaries in mines were once feral, lalalalala lalalala."

*The workers are finding it difficult to pretend they don't see him but are up to the task. A voice from behind the truck whispers to Santa "The gifts, the gifts!" and Santa nods. He begins pulling out gift-wrapped boxes from his sack and quickly walks over to the front of the truck.*

[Santa:] "Now it ain't Chrustmas without the gifts! Who was nice this year!?"

*The workers are getting impatient with this display.*

[Driver:] "Look guy, we got some important items to transfer over here. Ruby Moreno sent everything from OG-Joshi to to Robin Walker. And I spent all week driving it over from Los Angeles. We don't have time for the Santa stuff."

[Santa:] "I also spent all week traveling... around the world to give gifts!"

[Driver:] "Well, give the gift of silence-"

*Santa's eyes go wide with an idea and he begins singing.*

[Santa:] "Siiiiilent Night, GOLDen night-"

[Driver:] "Enough! This is gonna take us hours to get through if -"

*The driver turns to one of the workers and points to the back of the truck.*

[Driver:] "You feel that? Like someone just took a crate off the truck."

[Worker:] "Nah, probably just the wind."

*Santa gesticulates into the air wildly, recapturing the attention of the workers.*

[Santa:] "Oh ho ho ho! The wind was no match for Rudolph-"

*Someone whispers "enough already" and "Santa" sees a man sneaking away from the truck.*

[Santa:] "You all be good boys this year and Santa will have more gifts for you when he sees you next."

[Driver:] "Yeah, well how about you let us check this list twice so we don't get fired."

*Santa laughs loudly and slaps his own knees.*

[Santa:] "I'm gonna tell Mrs. Claus that one. Merrrrrry Christmas!"

*Santa resumes doing his jig but dances behind the truck and out of view. A few minutes later, he meets up with someone who is decidedly not affiliated with the North Pole: Kurt Sanders.*

[Kurt:] "You think they suspected anything?"

[Santa:] "Just that I wasn't actually Santa."

*Kurt sighs and yanks Santa's beard down, revealing him to be Jasper Woodruff...whose real beard is actually even bigger than the fake Santa beard was but nowhere as clean.*

[Kurt:] "Well, Charles was right. You were somehow up to the task. We got it."

*Kurt reaches down and lifts up a small crate that says "OG-Joshi hardware."*

[Kurt:] "This is my Christmas gift."

[Santa:] "And you weren't even such a good boy this year!"

*Kurt smiles and points to the box.*

[Kurt:] "I think I'll go straight from the naughty list to the NEXUS list with this."

*Kurt laughs, causing Jasper to laugh too loudly, causing Kurt to frown.*

The scene begins to fade as Jasper reaches into his sack of gifts and excitedly pulls out a gold-wrapped box.*

[Santa:]"BA HOLLY-JOLLY ITS GOLD!"

*The scene completes its fade as Kurt deviously smiles and looks at the crate.*