"Roman Candle"
Apr 24, 2020 2:52:10 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Apr 24, 2020 2:52:10 GMT -5
*We fade into a small bar a few blocks away from the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena in Westchester, New York. It's about an hour from closing time but customers keep pouring in and the regulars are still getting loaded. Kurt Sanders and Jasper Woodruff are the next two to enter and sidle up to the bar. Kurt is wearing a pink "WTF is Oh Gee Jo See?" shirt and black jeans with brown work boots and Jasper is in his regular mining ring ensemble.*
[Jasper:] "Barkeep! Gimme sumthin cold and gold!"
*The bartender looks at the disheveled man with confusion.*
[Jasper:] "Consarnit, you got hearing ears on ya!? I got a powerful thirst!"
[Bartender:] "Ummm...you want a beer?"
*The Jasper starts doing a jig, calling further attention to himself. Kurt sighs and hands the bartender a $10 bill.*
[Bartender:] "What'll it be?"
[Kurt:] "A little patience and an O'Doul's for 'Lenny' over here so he doesn't strangle any of the bar bunnies. I'll take your finest Shirley Temple with a twisty straw and umbrella...served with a smile, of course."
*Kurt pretends to bat his eyes while trying not to laugh. The crowd registers their disgust and resumes their conversation as the man laughs. Once they all turn away, Kurt pats the bartender on the back and whispers: "For real - an old fashioned" then smirks. The bartender looks confused but obliges. A larger man sitting next to Kurt laughs out loud.*
"You don't have an off switch, do you?"
*Kurt turns his head and his face registers a surprised smile as he sees James Ward.*
[Kurt:] "Well now, if it isn't the heir to the Roman Empire himself. Give my regards to Little Caesar's!"
*James laughs, nods over to the bartender, and points to Kurt and Jasper.*
[James:] "Put these two gents on my tab."
[Kurt:] "Well, that's mighty neighborly of you but I hope you don't expect me to put out."
[James:] "Nah, I figure I gotta call up your boss Langford to arrange something like that."
*Kurt nods and slow claps his hands.*
[Kurt:] "Well now, you can bring it. No wonder the babies in the locker room hate you."
[James:] "Heh, I think there may be a little more to that than just my words."
*Kurt laughs while Jasper walks around aimlessly drinking his non-alcoholic beer.*
[James:] "Good, I'm glad the big fella is giving us some space."
[Kurt:] "Sh*t, the Langford pimp line wasn't a joke?"
[James:] "It was but not to make you laugh. Let me level with you, Sanders, you're being wasted."
[Kurt:] "It's just one drink, buddy. What am I, a freshman?"
[James:] "No, I mean wasted with this little 'Three Stooges of a Kind' act."
[Kurt:] "Ohhh, and you're trying to recruit me to the Jinchuu Revival instead? Halle-f'n-lullah! Look, I'm as flattered as a guy can get at 1 am in a dive bar but your pal K*I*D is like one greasy slice short of a beer sh*t."
*James laughs and rolls his eyes.*
[James:] "Look, I had nothing to do with what he said. He didn't even ask me to join him in the purity room."
*Kurt makes quote fingers with a concerned expression on his face.*
[Kurt:] "He probably found out you 'had relations' in high school and ran crying to his pastor."
*James laughs so hard he spits a little beer out.*
[James:] "I swear, man, I thought he was gonna come back legit - like the way he left UBL. Dude f*cked up everyone in that first Champions league and actually made Yoshida throw up watching a knockout.
But it's just my luck that he asks me to come back then goes off the deep end. He's doing the whole 'dimensional rift' thing and wanted me to come back as the Centurion. I don't think so. That act was worn out after the first day. If it wasn't for how much I hated Geese, it would have been torture playin' the part again in 2007."
[Kurt:] "But you like really hated Geese, huh?" *Kurt laughs*
[James:] "Little bitch thinks even more of himself than he lets on too. Imagine that?"
*Kurt spits on the ground and James and he clink glasses.*
[Kurt:] "So real talk, as Kazzy would say, you trying to recruit me away from my boys?"
[James:] "Nah man, I'm just being straight with you. It's not a good fit for your future."
[Kurt:] "And why is that?"
[James:] "The very thing your goon wants is never gonna happen for you, and certainly not for him."
*Jasper starts playing beer pong with some college students and manages to swallow the ball.*
[James:] "Look - we both know you're not trying to win gold for the same reasons most of the other guys are."
[Kurt:] "I hate to say it, but Geese was right about that."
*James looks pissed.
[James:] "Don't do that."
[Kurt:] "What? Don't do what? Say his name or something?"
[James:] "Don't give him the same attention he got after that threshold wankfest. I hate, hate when he has something to say and everyone bends over backwards to act like its profound. We don't need the whole roster to chime in just cause the 'mighty Emperor' has opened his mouth to spew some more bullshit. You had Thomas f'n Mills feel the need to reply to Geese like everyone's lives revolves around him."
*Kurt raises his hands to calm the situation down.*
[Kurt:] "Okay man, I get it. You may not be with K*I*D anymore, but you hate Geese as much."
[James:] "I do, in my own way. But listen to me, really listen to me. I know you want gold so that you can piss everyone else off even more than you already do. And man, you got some mouth on you."
[Kurt:] "I swear I'm not giving you Langford's number. He'd probably pimp me out for the dough."
*James punches Kurt hard in the shoulder.*
[James:] "Listen!"
[Kurt:] "Okay, okay."
[James:] "I'm not shitting on your guys, I'm just pointing out the truth. Langford is what, pushing 50 and probably wants to get some of that sweet lawyer money before retiring on some riverboat. What about Woodruff? Dude may not actually have the black lung but he moves like he does and isn't getting any younger."
[Kurt:] "He'd say that he's fit as a fiddle and start doing a jig."
[James:] "And he's funny as shit when he does it but do you really think that's enough to back you up?"
[Kurt:] "I mean, the two of them helped me steal Gushi's Title and put the hurt on his team for a year. We got Saji thrown out of ubble for six months and made Kisiera cry about it."
[James:] "Yeah, but imagine how many more people would hate you if you actually won the Title?"
[Kurt:] "I was close."
[James:] "Who the f*ck cares!? The point is, if you fall a little short, you need your muscle to pick up the slack. It's even better if you can't get it done on your own, man. They'll all hate you more."
[Kurt:] "I actually can get it done-"
*James slams his beer glass down on the table almost hard enough to break it.*
[James:] "You're telling me that you care about that sh*t too? F*CK!"
*James is silent for a minute as Kurt sips his drink and looks down.*
[Kurt:] "I wasn't saying I care - I'm just saying I'm capable of it."
[James:] "Good on you, then. But that doesn't mean you'll win every match. And that's why you need someone who can take you all the way to the top and protect you when you talk shit to the wrong guy or crew.
You're finally on the radar of the primo guys now, but they don't take you seriously. You think guys like Geese would ever face you if you weren't in the same league? No. How can you do maximum damage if you're just taking pot shots in promos? I didn't even bother doing that stupid 'Promo Round-up." What's the point? I'm just gonna pop everyone in the mouth until I win, or until they do the same to me. But you...you're different. You can actually get into their heads. But you gotta beat them into the ring too and be protected doing it."
[Kurt:] "I got Kyle pretty pissed off."
*James leans back and laughs uproariously.*
[James:] "Getting Kyle Walker mad is like getting one of these gals to scream out that they're drunk. It's effortless, man. The problem is that you did nothing with it. And I get why you backed down - it's because you doubted your back-up. We both know that if Kyle really went after you that would be it. Nothing in the world that Langford and Woodruff could do to stop him and Geese's assault team. You know what I heard?"
[Kurt:] "What?"
[James:] "K*I*D told me that Geese's team took down the entire Destiny compound years ago."
*Kurt scrunches his face and shakes his head no in cynical disbelief.*
[Kurt:] "Bull-sh*t. Didn't you just say K*I*D is full of it?"
[James:] "Not his intel. It's real, man. Don't ask how he knows, he just does."
[Kurt:] "So I don't stand a chance at 'the serpent' or someone on the same pay grade?"
[James:] "Not with your sorry ass Oceans 11 wanna be crew."
[Kurt:] "So ... *Kurt twirls his fingers and then points to James* you'd be better?"
*James laughs and spits out his beer again, visibly annoying the bartender.*
[James:] "F*ck no. I'm just trying to light a fire in your belly. I ain't your man cause I'm done with the ubble bullsh*t after this league is over. This is my last chance to play spoiler to one of Geese's biggest conquests and I'm gladly taking it, but I won't have anything left in the tank after. Yoshida and Wingate will drag this thing out for five f*cking years like every league. The first show is already two months late."
[Kurt:] "So what are you saying then?"
[James:] "Fold your hand and find a new game with higher rollers."
*Kurt is silent.*
[James:] "If Langford actually gives a shit about your success, he'll help you find them, retire, and get Woodruff of your way. Otherwise, what's the point? Listen to me, son. You can own this playground with the right plan and team. 'Hurt' of your magnitude is a terrible thing to waste."
*James punches him lightly in the shoulder again and walks to the bathroom as Kurt remains silent. Jasper walks over and sits down next to him. He gestures at one of the drunk women in the bar who smiles at him.*
[Jasper:] "She told me she's going to get a golden shower! Can I go with her?"
*Kurt looks at him in absolute disgust as the scene fades.*
[Jasper:] "Barkeep! Gimme sumthin cold and gold!"
*The bartender looks at the disheveled man with confusion.*
[Jasper:] "Consarnit, you got hearing ears on ya!? I got a powerful thirst!"
[Bartender:] "Ummm...you want a beer?"
*The Jasper starts doing a jig, calling further attention to himself. Kurt sighs and hands the bartender a $10 bill.*
[Bartender:] "What'll it be?"
[Kurt:] "A little patience and an O'Doul's for 'Lenny' over here so he doesn't strangle any of the bar bunnies. I'll take your finest Shirley Temple with a twisty straw and umbrella...served with a smile, of course."
*Kurt pretends to bat his eyes while trying not to laugh. The crowd registers their disgust and resumes their conversation as the man laughs. Once they all turn away, Kurt pats the bartender on the back and whispers: "For real - an old fashioned" then smirks. The bartender looks confused but obliges. A larger man sitting next to Kurt laughs out loud.*
"You don't have an off switch, do you?"
*Kurt turns his head and his face registers a surprised smile as he sees James Ward.*
[Kurt:] "Well now, if it isn't the heir to the Roman Empire himself. Give my regards to Little Caesar's!"
*James laughs, nods over to the bartender, and points to Kurt and Jasper.*
[James:] "Put these two gents on my tab."
[Kurt:] "Well, that's mighty neighborly of you but I hope you don't expect me to put out."
[James:] "Nah, I figure I gotta call up your boss Langford to arrange something like that."
*Kurt nods and slow claps his hands.*
[Kurt:] "Well now, you can bring it. No wonder the babies in the locker room hate you."
[James:] "Heh, I think there may be a little more to that than just my words."
*Kurt laughs while Jasper walks around aimlessly drinking his non-alcoholic beer.*
[James:] "Good, I'm glad the big fella is giving us some space."
[Kurt:] "Sh*t, the Langford pimp line wasn't a joke?"
[James:] "It was but not to make you laugh. Let me level with you, Sanders, you're being wasted."
[Kurt:] "It's just one drink, buddy. What am I, a freshman?"
[James:] "No, I mean wasted with this little 'Three Stooges of a Kind' act."
[Kurt:] "Ohhh, and you're trying to recruit me to the Jinchuu Revival instead? Halle-f'n-lullah! Look, I'm as flattered as a guy can get at 1 am in a dive bar but your pal K*I*D is like one greasy slice short of a beer sh*t."
*James laughs and rolls his eyes.*
[James:] "Look, I had nothing to do with what he said. He didn't even ask me to join him in the purity room."
*Kurt makes quote fingers with a concerned expression on his face.*
[Kurt:] "He probably found out you 'had relations' in high school and ran crying to his pastor."
*James laughs so hard he spits a little beer out.*
[James:] "I swear, man, I thought he was gonna come back legit - like the way he left UBL. Dude f*cked up everyone in that first Champions league and actually made Yoshida throw up watching a knockout.
But it's just my luck that he asks me to come back then goes off the deep end. He's doing the whole 'dimensional rift' thing and wanted me to come back as the Centurion. I don't think so. That act was worn out after the first day. If it wasn't for how much I hated Geese, it would have been torture playin' the part again in 2007."
[Kurt:] "But you like really hated Geese, huh?" *Kurt laughs*
[James:] "Little bitch thinks even more of himself than he lets on too. Imagine that?"
*Kurt spits on the ground and James and he clink glasses.*
[Kurt:] "So real talk, as Kazzy would say, you trying to recruit me away from my boys?"
[James:] "Nah man, I'm just being straight with you. It's not a good fit for your future."
[Kurt:] "And why is that?"
[James:] "The very thing your goon wants is never gonna happen for you, and certainly not for him."
*Jasper starts playing beer pong with some college students and manages to swallow the ball.*
[James:] "Look - we both know you're not trying to win gold for the same reasons most of the other guys are."
[Kurt:] "I hate to say it, but Geese was right about that."
*James looks pissed.
[James:] "Don't do that."
[Kurt:] "What? Don't do what? Say his name or something?"
[James:] "Don't give him the same attention he got after that threshold wankfest. I hate, hate when he has something to say and everyone bends over backwards to act like its profound. We don't need the whole roster to chime in just cause the 'mighty Emperor' has opened his mouth to spew some more bullshit. You had Thomas f'n Mills feel the need to reply to Geese like everyone's lives revolves around him."
*Kurt raises his hands to calm the situation down.*
[Kurt:] "Okay man, I get it. You may not be with K*I*D anymore, but you hate Geese as much."
[James:] "I do, in my own way. But listen to me, really listen to me. I know you want gold so that you can piss everyone else off even more than you already do. And man, you got some mouth on you."
[Kurt:] "I swear I'm not giving you Langford's number. He'd probably pimp me out for the dough."
*James punches Kurt hard in the shoulder.*
[James:] "Listen!"
[Kurt:] "Okay, okay."
[James:] "I'm not shitting on your guys, I'm just pointing out the truth. Langford is what, pushing 50 and probably wants to get some of that sweet lawyer money before retiring on some riverboat. What about Woodruff? Dude may not actually have the black lung but he moves like he does and isn't getting any younger."
[Kurt:] "He'd say that he's fit as a fiddle and start doing a jig."
[James:] "And he's funny as shit when he does it but do you really think that's enough to back you up?"
[Kurt:] "I mean, the two of them helped me steal Gushi's Title and put the hurt on his team for a year. We got Saji thrown out of ubble for six months and made Kisiera cry about it."
[James:] "Yeah, but imagine how many more people would hate you if you actually won the Title?"
[Kurt:] "I was close."
[James:] "Who the f*ck cares!? The point is, if you fall a little short, you need your muscle to pick up the slack. It's even better if you can't get it done on your own, man. They'll all hate you more."
[Kurt:] "I actually can get it done-"
*James slams his beer glass down on the table almost hard enough to break it.*
[James:] "You're telling me that you care about that sh*t too? F*CK!"
*James is silent for a minute as Kurt sips his drink and looks down.*
[Kurt:] "I wasn't saying I care - I'm just saying I'm capable of it."
[James:] "Good on you, then. But that doesn't mean you'll win every match. And that's why you need someone who can take you all the way to the top and protect you when you talk shit to the wrong guy or crew.
You're finally on the radar of the primo guys now, but they don't take you seriously. You think guys like Geese would ever face you if you weren't in the same league? No. How can you do maximum damage if you're just taking pot shots in promos? I didn't even bother doing that stupid 'Promo Round-up." What's the point? I'm just gonna pop everyone in the mouth until I win, or until they do the same to me. But you...you're different. You can actually get into their heads. But you gotta beat them into the ring too and be protected doing it."
[Kurt:] "I got Kyle pretty pissed off."
*James leans back and laughs uproariously.*
[James:] "Getting Kyle Walker mad is like getting one of these gals to scream out that they're drunk. It's effortless, man. The problem is that you did nothing with it. And I get why you backed down - it's because you doubted your back-up. We both know that if Kyle really went after you that would be it. Nothing in the world that Langford and Woodruff could do to stop him and Geese's assault team. You know what I heard?"
[Kurt:] "What?"
[James:] "K*I*D told me that Geese's team took down the entire Destiny compound years ago."
*Kurt scrunches his face and shakes his head no in cynical disbelief.*
[Kurt:] "Bull-sh*t. Didn't you just say K*I*D is full of it?"
[James:] "Not his intel. It's real, man. Don't ask how he knows, he just does."
[Kurt:] "So I don't stand a chance at 'the serpent' or someone on the same pay grade?"
[James:] "Not with your sorry ass Oceans 11 wanna be crew."
[Kurt:] "So ... *Kurt twirls his fingers and then points to James* you'd be better?"
*James laughs and spits out his beer again, visibly annoying the bartender.*
[James:] "F*ck no. I'm just trying to light a fire in your belly. I ain't your man cause I'm done with the ubble bullsh*t after this league is over. This is my last chance to play spoiler to one of Geese's biggest conquests and I'm gladly taking it, but I won't have anything left in the tank after. Yoshida and Wingate will drag this thing out for five f*cking years like every league. The first show is already two months late."
[Kurt:] "So what are you saying then?"
[James:] "Fold your hand and find a new game with higher rollers."
*Kurt is silent.*
[James:] "If Langford actually gives a shit about your success, he'll help you find them, retire, and get Woodruff of your way. Otherwise, what's the point? Listen to me, son. You can own this playground with the right plan and team. 'Hurt' of your magnitude is a terrible thing to waste."
*James punches him lightly in the shoulder again and walks to the bathroom as Kurt remains silent. Jasper walks over and sits down next to him. He gestures at one of the drunk women in the bar who smiles at him.*
[Jasper:] "She told me she's going to get a golden shower! Can I go with her?"
*Kurt looks at him in absolute disgust as the scene fades.*