"Sexy Prime: 19 Year OG-FPD Anniversary"
Jan 2, 2023 8:05:44 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Jan 2, 2023 8:05:44 GMT -5
Event: “Sexy Prime” – 19 Year OG-FPD Anniversary show
Taping Date: December 13, 2022
Broadcast Date: January 2, 2023
Location: Peter Venkman Memorial Arena in Westchester, New York.
*The fans in the Battle Chamber come alive as they wave their signs with various messages ranging from “19” to “See you in 2025 probably!” to “More THRASH plz” to “Sexy Prime!” The camera zooms in on John Randolph sitting at the commentary table wearing a blue and gold tuxedo.”
[John Randolph:] “Hello everyone and welcome to our special event celebrating the 19th Anniversary of OG-FPD. Some people, most notably Robin Walker, have gone rogue to name this event “Sexy Prime” but I have been urged by notable authority figures not to mention that name any more times than necessary. There will be four matches featured tonight. We will be heading over to the Amplitheater for two OG-Joshi matches where Coach Carter will handle the commentary.
We’re going down to the UBL ring first for a special message by the Field Leader of the Basic training program. Barton Miller, the legendary Marauder, has crafted this program over the past two years into a well-oiled machine. Standing next to him is the assistant trainer and referee, Randy Everett. Standing in each corner is one of the teachers of the program: Wang Gom-Bu, Goro Yamashita, Naja Mask, and Tetsu Gushiken.”
*Barton waves to the fans and receives a thunderous applause. A small “Come back, Tetsu” chant breaks out but Barton pipes in when he sees Tetsu get visibly uncomfortable.*
[Barton:] “I’m happy to be here with all of you on this special occasion honoring the past so that I can present two men that I’m certain will shape the future of the UBL. I’m as excited about this current Basic Training roster as any previous Field Leader has been. The new generation of trainees is shaping up to be the best this program has ever produced. And by the time the Infinite Continuum league is over, the best of our class will be ready to challenge them. I have no doubt that includes the two men we have the privilege to now watch compete: Sebastian Blake and Darryl “Duke” Williamson.”
*The five men in the ring leave to applause as we get ready for the entrances to the next match. Usually, there would be no problem with a trainee coming out to the ring and sharing the ramp with their trainers. But in Sebastian Blake’s case, it’s clear why he waited for the coast to be clear. A few seconds after his music starts, “Surfin’ USA”, he runs down the ramp, jumps, and then pulls out a surfboard!!*
[John:] "Wow, that was something. It’s helpful when the Field Leader also has advanced degrees in Physics. Barton must have rigged up some kind of low friction surfboard that works on surfaces other than water for Blake to ride to the ring. Maybe Robin Walker can even give us an equation for that given her recent mastery of math. In any case, the fans absolutely loved the entrance and are no doubt questioning their choice to live in frozen New York.
However, Darryl “Duke” Williamson seems as angry at Blake's entrance as the fans were enthusiastic. In Williamson we have a gruff and tough killjoy who you would not want to be in a bar fight or wrestling match with. He shouts at Blake to “knock it off!” and you can just imagine how fun their training sessions are together. Blake, for his part, does not seem phased by Duke’s criticism and is basking in the moment. And you have to hand it to both men – they must have impressed Barton to be chosen for this role tonight. Let’s see if they can back up what Barton thinks about them.”
Match 1: Sebastian Blake vs. Darryl “Duke” Williamson
Basic Training exhibition bout. Round 1 (and 2 and 3): START!
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
[John:] “Wow! Even though Duke had the advantage for most of the match, and was clearly the more physically dominant competitor, Sebastian Blake packs one hell of a punch! He is also a lot tougher than his pre-match casual demeanor would suggest. It looked like Duke could have put him away with a few of those suplexes but Blake hung on, as if be was … you know… on a surfboard. He then set up Duke for one of those video game ki thrusts that simulate a fireball but sans fire. I don’t know what to make of Sebastian: the man seemed incredibly talented when he put his mind to it but at other times he just wasn’t focused enough on the match. The surfboard down the ring was just him having fun but doing it in the middle of a match is reckless. And yet, as powerful and controlling as Duke was in the match, Blake still managed to win it. I’m sure Barton will have a lot to say to both men but I understand what he sees in them.”
Sebastian Blake (O) [“EX Hadouken” - 14:42 ] (X) Darryl “Duke” Williamson
[John:] “And now the broadcast is going to hop, skip, and jump over to the Amplitheater where we are joined by…”
*The video feed of John shrinks and is joined to the side with a video feed of Jean Carter who is literally jumping rope in her Coach attire.*
[John:] “Where we are joined by Coach “Mean” Jean Carter who is working out a ton of energy because she is so happy being here tonight that she might overload!”
[MJC:] “Hi John!! Wow, that was such a great match that Sebastian and Darryl put on.”
[John:] “Has Luke ever taken you surfing before?”
[MJC:] “Oh tons of times we’ve said what an awful idea that would be!! I do love surfing the web to find pictures of cats lounging on pool floats though.”
[John:] “So what do you have planned to follow the Basic Training match?”
[MJC:] “Well, I’ve given this a lot of thought. Barton just put on a match that showcased the future of UBL. Since our match is coming after, OG-Joshi is going to showcase the future of the future!”
[John:] “Isn’t that just…the future?”
[MJC:] “The future squared!”
[John:] “I don’t…”
[MJC:] “You know that we have the EMERGE program for OG-Joshi trainees, run by Sensei Haley Cannon.”
[John:] “Know it and have invested in merchandise!”
[MJC:] “Great! So I went one step further. We’ve been actively scouting for future participants in the program, and I thought I would put together a match for two applicants. You can consider this match part of the PRE-MERGE program!”
[John:] “PRE-MERGE?”
[MJC:] “Yeah, two wrestlers who are preparing to join the EMERGE roster!!”
[John:] “In other words - the future of the future.”
[MJC:] “Not just in other words: in actual words I had already said. You were there, John!”
[John:] “That I was. You know what I find so impressive about you, Jean?”
[MJC:] “What!?”
[John:] “That you were actually still jumping rope during that entire confounding dialogue.”
[MJC:] “Thanks for the compliment!! As you said, I’m fired up! OG-Joshi is finally pushing into a higher gear and I’m right there with it!”
[John:] “Ok well, you still have two matches to discuss tonight so maybe take a breather.”
*Jean slowly stops her rope jumping, takes a few deep breaths, and smiles.*
[MJC:] “Good advice is good advice, John. I’ll check in with you after the match!”
*John’s little camera square closes as Jean’s gets full size.*
[MJC:] “And hellooooo to all of our great fans in the Arena and watching from anywhere! Anywhere is the best place to watch OG-Joshi, really. I am so happy to be here and introducing this match. The winner will get a future guaranteed spot on the EMERGE roster when one of the current members graduates to the main roster. The person who doesn’t win this match can still be accepted if they impress Sensei Cannon enough. And I know that she only picked the best current candidates for tonight so I think everyone will enjoy this match.
Doji O-Ushi has even more energy than I do! If you like the jumps, she’ll do the jumps! She’ll do all the jumps!! Even a couple of stomps! Luke assured me that she won’t run into any spineys though since you’re not supposed to jump on them unless you have a special green boot. Sebastian Blake isn’t the only one who learned some moves from the arcade.
Doji’s opponent is Ryo Sakura who looks like a moving brick wall. I mean, even when she’s sitting, she still looks like a moving brick wall. That may be an optical illusion or the result of me jumping rope too much. In either case, we have a classic match of speed vs. strength. Both competitors know their way around submissions too. Doji has some fancy pins and Ryo is quite the brawler. Remember, they are representing the future of the future!! That distant future starts now!”
Match 2: Doji O-Ushi vs. Ryo Sakura
PRE-MERGE: ”The Future of the Future”
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
[MJC:] “Okay, we’re going back to John now but I’ll see you again...in the future...before the main event!”
*We bypass any shenanigans and go right to John in the Battle Chamber.*
[John:] “OG-Joshi saw our first match and raised it, and not just with MJC's extended timeline.
Luckily we have a Championship match up our sleeve and it features the most fighting champion that the UBL has ever had. THRASH Ogawa is the wielder of the Universal Circuit Championship. He’s not just the keeper or defender of it. He actively uses the title in order to face the best competition possible. That is the value of the Title to him: not as an award but as a tool. And THRASH Ogawa wants nothing more in life than to get to work tonight.
As a participant in both of the ‘streams’ during the Collider tour, he wants to face all of the competition possible. And despite spearheading the successful plan to shut down Gauntlet, THRASH is frustrated that UBL is still falling short of the competitive ideal that he holds for it. He wants more frequent shows and maybe that’s just best for everyone. After all, it seems dangerous to face THRASH after the months of anger that builds in him during our hiatuses. Tonight, he wields his title in an open challenge. He put out a call to anyone in or outside the locker room to face him.
To maximize that surprise element, THRASH comes out first. Of course, given his mindset, he never takes the ‘Champion’s privilege” of coming out last. He’s always the most eager to get out to the ring so he can engage in the competition that he loves. He gets a huge reaction from the fans, many of which are wearing THRASH merchandise and have signs in his favor. He doesn’t openly acknowledge the cheers but he does seem to appreciate them indirectly. He told me before the show that if his efforts and ideals have made the fans want what he offers, then that works in his favor since Wingate will make sure they get it. And that means more frequent shows with more fights against anyone he wants.
The question is whether he will be happy with who steps up to face him tonight.
*Era “Enae Volare Mezzo” starts to play on the speakers.*
[John:] “Fortunately, I do think that will be the case!”
*Bak Fu has just come out to the stage to an eruption of applause and “holy sh*t chants. THRASH Ogawa has just frozen in disbelief and is staring at Bak.*
[John:] “That isn’t fear you are seeing on Ogawa’s face, folks. That is pure, uncut euphoria. THRASH is looking like Ralph “Pot Belly” Ferguson about to dig into a trough of beef polonaise, or like Robin Walker about to "rolling cradle" with Geese to make him lose count of how many anniversaries OG-FPD has had. THRASH Ogawa is staring down at a man who is more than capable of giving him the fight that he wants. Much like when he wanted to face William King, THRASH’s eyes may actually be too big for his stomach. Bak Fu may be one of the few men on this roster who can not only defeat THRASH, but actually out-fight him. That very realization has to be what is making THRASH look like a kid on Christmas morning. He is about to unwrap the gift of walking into a *Pier 6 Donnybrook.”
(OG-FPD fun fact edited into the event report and brought to you by Jean Carter: “Great reference, John! On Sunday, October 22nd, 2006, at an event called “Donnybrook at Pier 6,” Bak Fu competed victoriously in a match involving such future UBL luminaries as Twinky McLanahan and Geese Walker!")
[John:] “Bak Fu also knows what a fight this will be. He is clearly pumped up for this match as he accelerates his stalking gait to the ring. Ogawa’s body seems to be shaking in anticipation of this fight against one of the violence gods of pro wrestling. I think we’re about to witness a classic match with more violence that you can shake a kendo stick at. Sit back and enjoy this one, folks. You aren’t going to be the ones who wake up sore in the morning as a result.”
Universal Circuit Championship
Match 3: Bak Fu vs. THRASH Ogawa (c)
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
[John:] “I hate to paraphrase Jakob of Furis but this match vas vall to vall violence! An early shotei opened THRASH up around the five minute mark. Bak hits an astonishing frankensteiner to the outside and a cobra clutch suplex into his "Last Breath" Buffalo Sleeper. Bak looked unbeatable at that point. We even saw the infamous “Hellbound” northern lights bomb but THRASH was able to shrug it off!! That was shocking to me, as was a bloody THRASH coming back from one of the most brutal beatings he ever endured to actually win this match. He leveled Bak with multiple headbutts: including a punishing headbutt after a DDT. He applied a crossface that Bak immediately answered with a back rolling choke hold. THRASH then hit two diving headbutts to seal a victory in a match that proves the head is mightier than the sword.”
Bak Fu (X) [Super Diving Headbutt - 16:32 ] (O) THRASH Ogawa
*As Bak Fu slowly gets up, THRASH extends a rare handshake of appreciation. Bak stares at him for ten seconds which feels like an eternity. Bak eschews the handshake but nods in clear respect to THRASH before leaving the ring. THRASH is pleased with the match and holds his Championship belt high with a smile on his face. He screams “Violence is always the answer!” which pops the crowd big time but will likely result in angry letters to Arthur Wingate written by parents.*
[John:] “With that match already going down as one of the best of the past few years, we conclude the Battle Chamber portion of the show. However, the UBL’s stake in this is not quite over as Geese Walker and William King will participate in the main event tonight. In a moment we will go back to Jean Carter in the Amplitheater. Before we do, I just wanted to thank all of our fans once again for watching and thank UBL for allowing me to call another anniversary show for you. I hope to be bringing you the results of the next Continuum stream show within the next month. Jean, it’s all yours.”
*John waves and the camera feed switches back to Jean Carter.*
[MJC:] “Yay! Thanks, John! You did a great job! And before we get to the main event, I’d like to send my congratulations to THRASH Ogawa on his heroic championship defense. Conventional logic says to never headbutt a masked man since you don’t actually know whether it’s a robot made of iron from the future. But THRASH followed the passions of his heart and headbutted his way to victory against someone scarier than a future robot. We can all learn from that, I think.”
*Jean lightly taps her head and looks confident at her findings.*
[MJC:] “Speaking of passions, hooo-ey they are going to be explicitly on display during the next match. We already made an announcement here to remove all children and adults sensitive to um, ‘adult subject matter.” I recommend that all parents put their kids to bed because this next match is Rated MA for O-MA-GAWD levels of inappropriateness.
Robin Walker teams up with her longtime boyfriend Geese Walker to face Kathy Queen and her longtime boyfriend William King. We have a holiday double date, OG-FPD style. So you know this is going to get amorous and dangerous!
I don’t even know where to begin discussing the issues between Robin and Kathy because really, they date back well before the two ever interacted. Robin Walker, formerly and sometimes still known as “Holly” was the Ace of OG-Joshi and one of the best wrestlers in the world back in the first decade of the twenty first century. Although she was injured in late 2010 and officially announced her retirement in 2011, her eight-year career was legendary. It was also a huge influence on Kathy Queen. In fact, her partnership with William King brought to mind some of the more successful, and lude, behavior that Robin and Geese initially modeled to the world. Kathy has acknowledged the homage in part.
However, Kathy and William go even further. They see themselves as an evolution of Robin and Geese. Kathy, specifically, believes that she is better than Robin ever was or could be. Her career may even back that up, depending on which eye is beholding it. Although her home is in Florida, much as Robin’s is in New York, Kathy has held multiple championships around the world. She is also accomplished in every discipline that one brings to a professional wrestling ring.
Robin never planned to be a wrestler. Her career started as part of a mission to get even with former mentor, Jo Ryder. Yes, that’s right – both Robin and her brother Kyle started their pro wrestling career entirely out of revenge: relying mostly on her anger and resiliency before eventually learning more of the craft. Over time, Robin got significantly better as a result of learning under Geese. Whoops, that may have sounded two double-entendre to some, or not enough to others. I should say Geese became a mentor to her, as did Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde. Over time, even Celes taught Robin a lot at the Walker ranch while preparing to face Destiny. That is the Robin that we saw defeat Ruby Moreno. The “Holly” of old compensated for inexperience and inability by being brash, rude, violent, and scheming. The only thing she had in common with Robin today is that resilience and fire. The Robin we see today knows how to wrestle and knows how to fight. She learned from the best and is not someone that you can take lightly, regardless of her wordplay antics.
Anyone watching this knows what Geese Walker is capable of. To even discuss his greatest strength, one has to acknowledge some horrors that I'd just rather not. Suffice to say, he may be at his very best now in terms of his competitive mindset and abilities. Similarly, as we saw two years ago at Continuum III, the 17th OG-FPD Anniversary Show, William King also knows how to fight at the highest level. On any given day, a match between Geese and William King would be huge news. And they have both taken verbal shots at each other in the lead up to this match. However, they both know that the real focus of this match is between Robin and Kathy. The Ace and Queen are wild in this hand.
Now, I mentioned that Kathy competes in Florida. One of those promotions is the storied Proving Ground Championship Wrestling: home of UBL legend, Corey O’Brian as well. Kathy just made her 5th defense for the PGCW Creative Commons title, which she then vacated in exchange for a shot at the PGCW Openweight title. If she wins that, then she'll be the first three-time holder of the belt. That’s a huge deal! Another huge deal is that Kathy and William JUST arrived in New York late last night. That is because Queen competing in the Amazon-1 Grand Prix on December 12.
Now, we’re still getting the footage for that match and it will be included in the version of this show posted on the website next month – sorry fans in attendance! But I had a chance to view a fan recording’s and wow! That was a physical match!! Kathy won but her opponent KANABO pushed her to the limit with multiple lariats and death valley drivers!
(Highlight video of Kathy vs. KANABO: can be found here )
It’s safe to say that Kathy may not be at full strength for tonight’s match. However, this may make her even more aggressive and dangerous. Given Robin’s noted resiliency, Kathy is going to want to end this match sooner before any damage she sustained against KANABO wears her down. William may also be extra aggressive to compensate for this. Robin and Geese are both healthy and have not sustained any recent injuries: excluding hickies.
However, one reason for their good conditions is that neither one has competed in a formal match recently due to the light schedules of OG-Joshi and UBL. Will that ring rust be a liability for them against two wrestlers who compete constantly? We know how resilient both Walkers are, that quality has been a trademark of their careers, but they are up against two very aggressive wrestlers who have all the tools they need to win. Whether or not Kathy or Robin would want to deliberately drag this match out, just to make good on some of their ”threats” – which I refuse to repeat – is a different question though. Another question is whether Geese’s dominant display against James Ward at Continuum III provides any indication of how he’ll do against a fellow main eventer like William King.
We don’t know. No one knows! That’s why we have the match – so people can find out. See, this all makes sense when you think of it! Let’s get down to the ring to a main event I am both looking forward to and dreading!!”
*"Flesh is The Law" by The Genitorturers plays, a small group of security guards come out first before a woman in a latex dress wheeling a watermelon on a stand*
[MJC:] “Ooh, me again. I just wanted to mention that woman is Bella Hemlok. She is Kathy Queen’s other tag team partner, and their team is named “Double Domme Session”. I’ve heard of Bella before because her home promotion is the same as Gutter’s: Women of Mass Destruction. Trust me - she means business! I’m guessing she’s here as an enforcer just to make sure the Walkers don’t revert to their old villainous ways.”
*William King comes out next, wearing his Cthulhu mask and Miskatonic University hoodie, but also carrying a pair of leashes in one hand and a leather bag in the other, and having the SFU South Florida Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist, the plate clearly covered in blood (and probably other fluids). After that comes Kathy Queen, wearing a jacket with the words "YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA" on the front, and carrying what looks to be a flogger but on close inspection instead of leather straps it's got stands of barbed wire. King and Queen make their way down the ramp, Queen then strikes the watermelon with the barbed wire flogger, the watermelon's skin clearly cut with pieces of fruit flesh visible. Queen looks to the camera and says "Don't worry, I won't be gentle" before giving the handle a suggestive lick. Queen puts the flogger in the bag and hands it to Hemlok, taking off the jacket to reveal a shirt that has the word "PROPAGANDA" over her chest taking the leashes (which we can now see have the names "Geese" and "Holly" on them) and going into the ring, holding them in the air before taking off the shirt to reveal her ring gear. King also removes his jacket and mask, holding up his title belt before also handing that to the woman.”
[MJC:] “Well…that happened! Safe to say we’re squarely in the ‘Sexy Prime’ portion of the show!”
*”Kick ‘em When He’s Down” by the Offspring plays as Kyle Walker comes out first with a shirt that says “__ days since violence” that makes about half the fans nervous. He has an expression on his face that completes that feeling in the rest of the fans. Following him is Robin and Geese Walker. They are wearing matching ring robes: Geese’s in black and gold, Robin’s in black and green. Robin is carrying a bag and gives it to Kyle. The three walk down the ramp to the ring. In contrast with Geese’s stoic expression, Robin’s is one of glee and jubilation. As they get to the area between the ramp and the ring, Kyle hands her the bag. Robin opens it and reveals … the ring attires for her and Geese!”
[MJC:] “Whoa…wait, does that mean? Eeww.”
*Without opening the robe, Robin slips her ring attire inside the robe. She then manages to dress herself within the confines of her robe: all while harboring a delicious smile on her face focused on Kathy Queen. To his credit, Geese was clearly already wearing his ring attire. His contribution to his display was a piercing look of malicious confidence directed at William King. As for Kyle, he was scoping out Bella Hemlok’s size and range of movement as well as the nearby audience members. A discerning eye could catch Geese doing the same in regard to the audience. Once Robin was fully dressed to impress, she remove her robe and got into the ring with Geese.*
Match 4: Team Crawling Chaos vs. Orochi Army
Kathy Queen/William King vs. Robin Walker/Geese Walker
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
[MJC:] “What a match!! That’s 40 minutes of ‘Grade A’ OG-FPD action!
As expected, Kathy and William attempted to sprint toward the finish. I don’t know if that was their game plan when they made the challenge for this match or if they had to improvise it after Kathy’s match with KANABO. But you have to give them credit for actually dominating this match. However, just as Doji vs. Ryo was the classic encounter of speed vs. strength, the main event was the classic encounter of the irresistible force vs. the immovable object. Kathy and William brought irresistible aggression and force, but Robin and Geese brought indomitable resilience and endurance. That allowed them to survive long enough to find an opportunity to win.
And what a finish too! Although Geese and Robin seemed to be on the defensive for much of the encounter, they let loose with a huge onslaught of offense at end. First, a double team cutter then a vicious shoulder arm break!! If that elevated german suplex didn’t get a rope break, I think that would have finished it. But I think Geese preferred it this way. He clearly had been planning on showing the world one of his new tools. He caught Kathy running with an elevated Orochi Clutch to win the match! The only question I have is whether Kathy tapped out or passed out at the end from exhaustion and pain. She’ll have to answer that, but my hunch is that she passed out. It was just too much! That match with KANABO followed by 40 minutes of grueling despair tonight!! No matter what, you have to applaud the efforts of all four wrestlers. However, you also have to know their tendencies. So…J.U.S.T.I.C.E – it’s time.”
William King/Kathy Queen (X) ["Orochi Clutch"- 40:52] (O) Geese Walker/Robin Walker
Before Kyle or Bella have a chance to get into the ring for further hostilities, J.U.S.T.I.C.E. and UBL security come out to swarm the area. Thunder Strike gets into the ring, joined by Land Storm and Laser Strike, to make sure that the hostilities have ceased with the bell ringing in the match. They allow William and Kathy to take the time they need to leave the ring then escort them, and Bella, backstage. Geese smirks at Thunder Strike and shrugs as if to say “What would I even do?” as the worst rhetorical question ever. Robin laughs at Geese’s display then blows a kiss at Kathy.
Kyle does not appears to be in a celebratory mood and is instead scanning the audience. He whispers to Geese, pointing in a specific direction. Geese furrows his brow and locks onto the area, watching the movement of some of the crowd. He gestures back to Kyle as if to acknowledge that Kyle was onto something. Robin punches Geese in the shoulder and puts her hands up in disbelief that the two aren’t celebrating the big win. Geese smiles but it’s clearly for her benefit as he and Kyle still appear concerned. Robin rolls her eyes and soaks in all of the cheers of the fans and the victory.*
[MJC:] “Well that just about does it!! Thank you so much for joining us! Let’s give thanks to an OG-FPD Anniversary show that actually didn’t go off the rails or end tragically!! Do we have THRASH and his band of merry men to thank for that by taking out Gauntlet? Perhaps. Do we have J.U.S.T.I.C.E. to thank for that? Definitely!! Either way, no one goes home hospitalized! On that note, both OG-Joshi and UBL will be coming to you with new shows in 2023. Happy New Year!”
Taping Date: December 13, 2022
Broadcast Date: January 2, 2023
Location: Peter Venkman Memorial Arena in Westchester, New York.
*The fans in the Battle Chamber come alive as they wave their signs with various messages ranging from “19” to “See you in 2025 probably!” to “More THRASH plz” to “Sexy Prime!” The camera zooms in on John Randolph sitting at the commentary table wearing a blue and gold tuxedo.”
[John Randolph:] “Hello everyone and welcome to our special event celebrating the 19th Anniversary of OG-FPD. Some people, most notably Robin Walker, have gone rogue to name this event “Sexy Prime” but I have been urged by notable authority figures not to mention that name any more times than necessary. There will be four matches featured tonight. We will be heading over to the Amplitheater for two OG-Joshi matches where Coach Carter will handle the commentary.
We’re going down to the UBL ring first for a special message by the Field Leader of the Basic training program. Barton Miller, the legendary Marauder, has crafted this program over the past two years into a well-oiled machine. Standing next to him is the assistant trainer and referee, Randy Everett. Standing in each corner is one of the teachers of the program: Wang Gom-Bu, Goro Yamashita, Naja Mask, and Tetsu Gushiken.”
*Barton waves to the fans and receives a thunderous applause. A small “Come back, Tetsu” chant breaks out but Barton pipes in when he sees Tetsu get visibly uncomfortable.*
[Barton:] “I’m happy to be here with all of you on this special occasion honoring the past so that I can present two men that I’m certain will shape the future of the UBL. I’m as excited about this current Basic Training roster as any previous Field Leader has been. The new generation of trainees is shaping up to be the best this program has ever produced. And by the time the Infinite Continuum league is over, the best of our class will be ready to challenge them. I have no doubt that includes the two men we have the privilege to now watch compete: Sebastian Blake and Darryl “Duke” Williamson.”
*The five men in the ring leave to applause as we get ready for the entrances to the next match. Usually, there would be no problem with a trainee coming out to the ring and sharing the ramp with their trainers. But in Sebastian Blake’s case, it’s clear why he waited for the coast to be clear. A few seconds after his music starts, “Surfin’ USA”, he runs down the ramp, jumps, and then pulls out a surfboard!!*
[John:] "Wow, that was something. It’s helpful when the Field Leader also has advanced degrees in Physics. Barton must have rigged up some kind of low friction surfboard that works on surfaces other than water for Blake to ride to the ring. Maybe Robin Walker can even give us an equation for that given her recent mastery of math. In any case, the fans absolutely loved the entrance and are no doubt questioning their choice to live in frozen New York.
However, Darryl “Duke” Williamson seems as angry at Blake's entrance as the fans were enthusiastic. In Williamson we have a gruff and tough killjoy who you would not want to be in a bar fight or wrestling match with. He shouts at Blake to “knock it off!” and you can just imagine how fun their training sessions are together. Blake, for his part, does not seem phased by Duke’s criticism and is basking in the moment. And you have to hand it to both men – they must have impressed Barton to be chosen for this role tonight. Let’s see if they can back up what Barton thinks about them.”
Match 1: Sebastian Blake vs. Darryl “Duke” Williamson
Basic Training exhibition bout. Round 1 (and 2 and 3): START!
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
[John:] “Wow! Even though Duke had the advantage for most of the match, and was clearly the more physically dominant competitor, Sebastian Blake packs one hell of a punch! He is also a lot tougher than his pre-match casual demeanor would suggest. It looked like Duke could have put him away with a few of those suplexes but Blake hung on, as if be was … you know… on a surfboard. He then set up Duke for one of those video game ki thrusts that simulate a fireball but sans fire. I don’t know what to make of Sebastian: the man seemed incredibly talented when he put his mind to it but at other times he just wasn’t focused enough on the match. The surfboard down the ring was just him having fun but doing it in the middle of a match is reckless. And yet, as powerful and controlling as Duke was in the match, Blake still managed to win it. I’m sure Barton will have a lot to say to both men but I understand what he sees in them.”
Sebastian Blake (O) [“EX Hadouken” - 14:42 ] (X) Darryl “Duke” Williamson
[John:] “And now the broadcast is going to hop, skip, and jump over to the Amplitheater where we are joined by…”
*The video feed of John shrinks and is joined to the side with a video feed of Jean Carter who is literally jumping rope in her Coach attire.*
[John:] “Where we are joined by Coach “Mean” Jean Carter who is working out a ton of energy because she is so happy being here tonight that she might overload!”
[MJC:] “Hi John!! Wow, that was such a great match that Sebastian and Darryl put on.”
[John:] “Has Luke ever taken you surfing before?”
[MJC:] “Oh tons of times we’ve said what an awful idea that would be!! I do love surfing the web to find pictures of cats lounging on pool floats though.”
[John:] “So what do you have planned to follow the Basic Training match?”
[MJC:] “Well, I’ve given this a lot of thought. Barton just put on a match that showcased the future of UBL. Since our match is coming after, OG-Joshi is going to showcase the future of the future!”
[John:] “Isn’t that just…the future?”
[MJC:] “The future squared!”
[John:] “I don’t…”
[MJC:] “You know that we have the EMERGE program for OG-Joshi trainees, run by Sensei Haley Cannon.”
[John:] “Know it and have invested in merchandise!”
[MJC:] “Great! So I went one step further. We’ve been actively scouting for future participants in the program, and I thought I would put together a match for two applicants. You can consider this match part of the PRE-MERGE program!”
[John:] “PRE-MERGE?”
[MJC:] “Yeah, two wrestlers who are preparing to join the EMERGE roster!!”
[John:] “In other words - the future of the future.”
[MJC:] “Not just in other words: in actual words I had already said. You were there, John!”
[John:] “That I was. You know what I find so impressive about you, Jean?”
[MJC:] “What!?”
[John:] “That you were actually still jumping rope during that entire confounding dialogue.”
[MJC:] “Thanks for the compliment!! As you said, I’m fired up! OG-Joshi is finally pushing into a higher gear and I’m right there with it!”
[John:] “Ok well, you still have two matches to discuss tonight so maybe take a breather.”
*Jean slowly stops her rope jumping, takes a few deep breaths, and smiles.*
[MJC:] “Good advice is good advice, John. I’ll check in with you after the match!”
*John’s little camera square closes as Jean’s gets full size.*
[MJC:] “And hellooooo to all of our great fans in the Arena and watching from anywhere! Anywhere is the best place to watch OG-Joshi, really. I am so happy to be here and introducing this match. The winner will get a future guaranteed spot on the EMERGE roster when one of the current members graduates to the main roster. The person who doesn’t win this match can still be accepted if they impress Sensei Cannon enough. And I know that she only picked the best current candidates for tonight so I think everyone will enjoy this match.
Doji O-Ushi has even more energy than I do! If you like the jumps, she’ll do the jumps! She’ll do all the jumps!! Even a couple of stomps! Luke assured me that she won’t run into any spineys though since you’re not supposed to jump on them unless you have a special green boot. Sebastian Blake isn’t the only one who learned some moves from the arcade.
Doji’s opponent is Ryo Sakura who looks like a moving brick wall. I mean, even when she’s sitting, she still looks like a moving brick wall. That may be an optical illusion or the result of me jumping rope too much. In either case, we have a classic match of speed vs. strength. Both competitors know their way around submissions too. Doji has some fancy pins and Ryo is quite the brawler. Remember, they are representing the future of the future!! That distant future starts now!”
Match 2: Doji O-Ushi vs. Ryo Sakura
PRE-MERGE: ”The Future of the Future”
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
[MJC:] “The armbar of the future!! Ok, I’ll stop with that. But what a huge win for Doji O-Ushi!! Much like Blake, Doji showed great resilience on her road to a comeback. Someone who doesn’t know the amount of spirit she has, or someone who just realizes how devastatingly strong Ryo is, would have thought the match would have ended a few times. I think Sensei Cannon is going to admit Ryo based on what we saw here as she is not just a powerhouse but a very competitive and focused person. She could have gotten frustrated by not being able to put Doji away but she kept to her game plan. She just didn’t expect Doji to grab that armbar out of nowhere. Well, it was out of somewhere I guess – the future!”
Doji O-Ushi (O) [Fujiwara Armbar - 14:02 ] (X) Ryo Sakura
Doji O-Ushi (O) [Fujiwara Armbar - 14:02 ] (X) Ryo Sakura
[MJC:] “Okay, we’re going back to John now but I’ll see you again...in the future...before the main event!”
*We bypass any shenanigans and go right to John in the Battle Chamber.*
[John:] “OG-Joshi saw our first match and raised it, and not just with MJC's extended timeline.
Luckily we have a Championship match up our sleeve and it features the most fighting champion that the UBL has ever had. THRASH Ogawa is the wielder of the Universal Circuit Championship. He’s not just the keeper or defender of it. He actively uses the title in order to face the best competition possible. That is the value of the Title to him: not as an award but as a tool. And THRASH Ogawa wants nothing more in life than to get to work tonight.
As a participant in both of the ‘streams’ during the Collider tour, he wants to face all of the competition possible. And despite spearheading the successful plan to shut down Gauntlet, THRASH is frustrated that UBL is still falling short of the competitive ideal that he holds for it. He wants more frequent shows and maybe that’s just best for everyone. After all, it seems dangerous to face THRASH after the months of anger that builds in him during our hiatuses. Tonight, he wields his title in an open challenge. He put out a call to anyone in or outside the locker room to face him.
To maximize that surprise element, THRASH comes out first. Of course, given his mindset, he never takes the ‘Champion’s privilege” of coming out last. He’s always the most eager to get out to the ring so he can engage in the competition that he loves. He gets a huge reaction from the fans, many of which are wearing THRASH merchandise and have signs in his favor. He doesn’t openly acknowledge the cheers but he does seem to appreciate them indirectly. He told me before the show that if his efforts and ideals have made the fans want what he offers, then that works in his favor since Wingate will make sure they get it. And that means more frequent shows with more fights against anyone he wants.
The question is whether he will be happy with who steps up to face him tonight.
*Era “Enae Volare Mezzo” starts to play on the speakers.*
[John:] “Fortunately, I do think that will be the case!”
*Bak Fu has just come out to the stage to an eruption of applause and “holy sh*t chants. THRASH Ogawa has just frozen in disbelief and is staring at Bak.*
[John:] “That isn’t fear you are seeing on Ogawa’s face, folks. That is pure, uncut euphoria. THRASH is looking like Ralph “Pot Belly” Ferguson about to dig into a trough of beef polonaise, or like Robin Walker about to "rolling cradle" with Geese to make him lose count of how many anniversaries OG-FPD has had. THRASH Ogawa is staring down at a man who is more than capable of giving him the fight that he wants. Much like when he wanted to face William King, THRASH’s eyes may actually be too big for his stomach. Bak Fu may be one of the few men on this roster who can not only defeat THRASH, but actually out-fight him. That very realization has to be what is making THRASH look like a kid on Christmas morning. He is about to unwrap the gift of walking into a *Pier 6 Donnybrook.”
(OG-FPD fun fact edited into the event report and brought to you by Jean Carter: “Great reference, John! On Sunday, October 22nd, 2006, at an event called “Donnybrook at Pier 6,” Bak Fu competed victoriously in a match involving such future UBL luminaries as Twinky McLanahan and Geese Walker!")
[John:] “Bak Fu also knows what a fight this will be. He is clearly pumped up for this match as he accelerates his stalking gait to the ring. Ogawa’s body seems to be shaking in anticipation of this fight against one of the violence gods of pro wrestling. I think we’re about to witness a classic match with more violence that you can shake a kendo stick at. Sit back and enjoy this one, folks. You aren’t going to be the ones who wake up sore in the morning as a result.”
Universal Circuit Championship
Match 3: Bak Fu vs. THRASH Ogawa (c)
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
[John:] “I hate to paraphrase Jakob of Furis but this match vas vall to vall violence! An early shotei opened THRASH up around the five minute mark. Bak hits an astonishing frankensteiner to the outside and a cobra clutch suplex into his "Last Breath" Buffalo Sleeper. Bak looked unbeatable at that point. We even saw the infamous “Hellbound” northern lights bomb but THRASH was able to shrug it off!! That was shocking to me, as was a bloody THRASH coming back from one of the most brutal beatings he ever endured to actually win this match. He leveled Bak with multiple headbutts: including a punishing headbutt after a DDT. He applied a crossface that Bak immediately answered with a back rolling choke hold. THRASH then hit two diving headbutts to seal a victory in a match that proves the head is mightier than the sword.”
Bak Fu (X) [Super Diving Headbutt - 16:32 ] (O) THRASH Ogawa
*As Bak Fu slowly gets up, THRASH extends a rare handshake of appreciation. Bak stares at him for ten seconds which feels like an eternity. Bak eschews the handshake but nods in clear respect to THRASH before leaving the ring. THRASH is pleased with the match and holds his Championship belt high with a smile on his face. He screams “Violence is always the answer!” which pops the crowd big time but will likely result in angry letters to Arthur Wingate written by parents.*
[John:] “With that match already going down as one of the best of the past few years, we conclude the Battle Chamber portion of the show. However, the UBL’s stake in this is not quite over as Geese Walker and William King will participate in the main event tonight. In a moment we will go back to Jean Carter in the Amplitheater. Before we do, I just wanted to thank all of our fans once again for watching and thank UBL for allowing me to call another anniversary show for you. I hope to be bringing you the results of the next Continuum stream show within the next month. Jean, it’s all yours.”
*John waves and the camera feed switches back to Jean Carter.*
[MJC:] “Yay! Thanks, John! You did a great job! And before we get to the main event, I’d like to send my congratulations to THRASH Ogawa on his heroic championship defense. Conventional logic says to never headbutt a masked man since you don’t actually know whether it’s a robot made of iron from the future. But THRASH followed the passions of his heart and headbutted his way to victory against someone scarier than a future robot. We can all learn from that, I think.”
*Jean lightly taps her head and looks confident at her findings.*
[MJC:] “Speaking of passions, hooo-ey they are going to be explicitly on display during the next match. We already made an announcement here to remove all children and adults sensitive to um, ‘adult subject matter.” I recommend that all parents put their kids to bed because this next match is Rated MA for O-MA-GAWD levels of inappropriateness.
Robin Walker teams up with her longtime boyfriend Geese Walker to face Kathy Queen and her longtime boyfriend William King. We have a holiday double date, OG-FPD style. So you know this is going to get amorous and dangerous!
I don’t even know where to begin discussing the issues between Robin and Kathy because really, they date back well before the two ever interacted. Robin Walker, formerly and sometimes still known as “Holly” was the Ace of OG-Joshi and one of the best wrestlers in the world back in the first decade of the twenty first century. Although she was injured in late 2010 and officially announced her retirement in 2011, her eight-year career was legendary. It was also a huge influence on Kathy Queen. In fact, her partnership with William King brought to mind some of the more successful, and lude, behavior that Robin and Geese initially modeled to the world. Kathy has acknowledged the homage in part.
However, Kathy and William go even further. They see themselves as an evolution of Robin and Geese. Kathy, specifically, believes that she is better than Robin ever was or could be. Her career may even back that up, depending on which eye is beholding it. Although her home is in Florida, much as Robin’s is in New York, Kathy has held multiple championships around the world. She is also accomplished in every discipline that one brings to a professional wrestling ring.
Robin never planned to be a wrestler. Her career started as part of a mission to get even with former mentor, Jo Ryder. Yes, that’s right – both Robin and her brother Kyle started their pro wrestling career entirely out of revenge: relying mostly on her anger and resiliency before eventually learning more of the craft. Over time, Robin got significantly better as a result of learning under Geese. Whoops, that may have sounded two double-entendre to some, or not enough to others. I should say Geese became a mentor to her, as did Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde. Over time, even Celes taught Robin a lot at the Walker ranch while preparing to face Destiny. That is the Robin that we saw defeat Ruby Moreno. The “Holly” of old compensated for inexperience and inability by being brash, rude, violent, and scheming. The only thing she had in common with Robin today is that resilience and fire. The Robin we see today knows how to wrestle and knows how to fight. She learned from the best and is not someone that you can take lightly, regardless of her wordplay antics.
Anyone watching this knows what Geese Walker is capable of. To even discuss his greatest strength, one has to acknowledge some horrors that I'd just rather not. Suffice to say, he may be at his very best now in terms of his competitive mindset and abilities. Similarly, as we saw two years ago at Continuum III, the 17th OG-FPD Anniversary Show, William King also knows how to fight at the highest level. On any given day, a match between Geese and William King would be huge news. And they have both taken verbal shots at each other in the lead up to this match. However, they both know that the real focus of this match is between Robin and Kathy. The Ace and Queen are wild in this hand.
Now, I mentioned that Kathy competes in Florida. One of those promotions is the storied Proving Ground Championship Wrestling: home of UBL legend, Corey O’Brian as well. Kathy just made her 5th defense for the PGCW Creative Commons title, which she then vacated in exchange for a shot at the PGCW Openweight title. If she wins that, then she'll be the first three-time holder of the belt. That’s a huge deal! Another huge deal is that Kathy and William JUST arrived in New York late last night. That is because Queen competing in the Amazon-1 Grand Prix on December 12.
Now, we’re still getting the footage for that match and it will be included in the version of this show posted on the website next month – sorry fans in attendance! But I had a chance to view a fan recording’s and wow! That was a physical match!! Kathy won but her opponent KANABO pushed her to the limit with multiple lariats and death valley drivers!
(Highlight video of Kathy vs. KANABO: can be found here )
It’s safe to say that Kathy may not be at full strength for tonight’s match. However, this may make her even more aggressive and dangerous. Given Robin’s noted resiliency, Kathy is going to want to end this match sooner before any damage she sustained against KANABO wears her down. William may also be extra aggressive to compensate for this. Robin and Geese are both healthy and have not sustained any recent injuries: excluding hickies.
However, one reason for their good conditions is that neither one has competed in a formal match recently due to the light schedules of OG-Joshi and UBL. Will that ring rust be a liability for them against two wrestlers who compete constantly? We know how resilient both Walkers are, that quality has been a trademark of their careers, but they are up against two very aggressive wrestlers who have all the tools they need to win. Whether or not Kathy or Robin would want to deliberately drag this match out, just to make good on some of their ”threats” – which I refuse to repeat – is a different question though. Another question is whether Geese’s dominant display against James Ward at Continuum III provides any indication of how he’ll do against a fellow main eventer like William King.
We don’t know. No one knows! That’s why we have the match – so people can find out. See, this all makes sense when you think of it! Let’s get down to the ring to a main event I am both looking forward to and dreading!!”
*"Flesh is The Law" by The Genitorturers plays, a small group of security guards come out first before a woman in a latex dress wheeling a watermelon on a stand*
[MJC:] “Ooh, me again. I just wanted to mention that woman is Bella Hemlok. She is Kathy Queen’s other tag team partner, and their team is named “Double Domme Session”. I’ve heard of Bella before because her home promotion is the same as Gutter’s: Women of Mass Destruction. Trust me - she means business! I’m guessing she’s here as an enforcer just to make sure the Walkers don’t revert to their old villainous ways.”
*William King comes out next, wearing his Cthulhu mask and Miskatonic University hoodie, but also carrying a pair of leashes in one hand and a leather bag in the other, and having the SFU South Florida Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist, the plate clearly covered in blood (and probably other fluids). After that comes Kathy Queen, wearing a jacket with the words "YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA" on the front, and carrying what looks to be a flogger but on close inspection instead of leather straps it's got stands of barbed wire. King and Queen make their way down the ramp, Queen then strikes the watermelon with the barbed wire flogger, the watermelon's skin clearly cut with pieces of fruit flesh visible. Queen looks to the camera and says "Don't worry, I won't be gentle" before giving the handle a suggestive lick. Queen puts the flogger in the bag and hands it to Hemlok, taking off the jacket to reveal a shirt that has the word "PROPAGANDA" over her chest taking the leashes (which we can now see have the names "Geese" and "Holly" on them) and going into the ring, holding them in the air before taking off the shirt to reveal her ring gear. King also removes his jacket and mask, holding up his title belt before also handing that to the woman.”
[MJC:] “Well…that happened! Safe to say we’re squarely in the ‘Sexy Prime’ portion of the show!”
*”Kick ‘em When He’s Down” by the Offspring plays as Kyle Walker comes out first with a shirt that says “__ days since violence” that makes about half the fans nervous. He has an expression on his face that completes that feeling in the rest of the fans. Following him is Robin and Geese Walker. They are wearing matching ring robes: Geese’s in black and gold, Robin’s in black and green. Robin is carrying a bag and gives it to Kyle. The three walk down the ramp to the ring. In contrast with Geese’s stoic expression, Robin’s is one of glee and jubilation. As they get to the area between the ramp and the ring, Kyle hands her the bag. Robin opens it and reveals … the ring attires for her and Geese!”
[MJC:] “Whoa…wait, does that mean? Eeww.”
*Without opening the robe, Robin slips her ring attire inside the robe. She then manages to dress herself within the confines of her robe: all while harboring a delicious smile on her face focused on Kathy Queen. To his credit, Geese was clearly already wearing his ring attire. His contribution to his display was a piercing look of malicious confidence directed at William King. As for Kyle, he was scoping out Bella Hemlok’s size and range of movement as well as the nearby audience members. A discerning eye could catch Geese doing the same in regard to the audience. Once Robin was fully dressed to impress, she remove her robe and got into the ring with Geese.*
Match 4: Team Crawling Chaos vs. Orochi Army
Kathy Queen/William King vs. Robin Walker/Geese Walker
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
[MJC:] “What a match!! That’s 40 minutes of ‘Grade A’ OG-FPD action!
As expected, Kathy and William attempted to sprint toward the finish. I don’t know if that was their game plan when they made the challenge for this match or if they had to improvise it after Kathy’s match with KANABO. But you have to give them credit for actually dominating this match. However, just as Doji vs. Ryo was the classic encounter of speed vs. strength, the main event was the classic encounter of the irresistible force vs. the immovable object. Kathy and William brought irresistible aggression and force, but Robin and Geese brought indomitable resilience and endurance. That allowed them to survive long enough to find an opportunity to win.
And what a finish too! Although Geese and Robin seemed to be on the defensive for much of the encounter, they let loose with a huge onslaught of offense at end. First, a double team cutter then a vicious shoulder arm break!! If that elevated german suplex didn’t get a rope break, I think that would have finished it. But I think Geese preferred it this way. He clearly had been planning on showing the world one of his new tools. He caught Kathy running with an elevated Orochi Clutch to win the match! The only question I have is whether Kathy tapped out or passed out at the end from exhaustion and pain. She’ll have to answer that, but my hunch is that she passed out. It was just too much! That match with KANABO followed by 40 minutes of grueling despair tonight!! No matter what, you have to applaud the efforts of all four wrestlers. However, you also have to know their tendencies. So…J.U.S.T.I.C.E – it’s time.”
William King/Kathy Queen (X) ["Orochi Clutch"- 40:52] (O) Geese Walker/Robin Walker
Before Kyle or Bella have a chance to get into the ring for further hostilities, J.U.S.T.I.C.E. and UBL security come out to swarm the area. Thunder Strike gets into the ring, joined by Land Storm and Laser Strike, to make sure that the hostilities have ceased with the bell ringing in the match. They allow William and Kathy to take the time they need to leave the ring then escort them, and Bella, backstage. Geese smirks at Thunder Strike and shrugs as if to say “What would I even do?” as the worst rhetorical question ever. Robin laughs at Geese’s display then blows a kiss at Kathy.
Kyle does not appears to be in a celebratory mood and is instead scanning the audience. He whispers to Geese, pointing in a specific direction. Geese furrows his brow and locks onto the area, watching the movement of some of the crowd. He gestures back to Kyle as if to acknowledge that Kyle was onto something. Robin punches Geese in the shoulder and puts her hands up in disbelief that the two aren’t celebrating the big win. Geese smiles but it’s clearly for her benefit as he and Kyle still appear concerned. Robin rolls her eyes and soaks in all of the cheers of the fans and the victory.*
[MJC:] “Well that just about does it!! Thank you so much for joining us! Let’s give thanks to an OG-FPD Anniversary show that actually didn’t go off the rails or end tragically!! Do we have THRASH and his band of merry men to thank for that by taking out Gauntlet? Perhaps. Do we have J.U.S.T.I.C.E. to thank for that? Definitely!! Either way, no one goes home hospitalized! On that note, both OG-Joshi and UBL will be coming to you with new shows in 2023. Happy New Year!”