Circuit Show - March 2009
Mar 17, 2009 19:24:55 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Mar 17, 2009 19:24:55 GMT -5
Universal Circuit debut Show - March 2009
*We open up to a studio to find John Randolph behind a desk*
[John:] "Hello and welcome to the first Universal Battle League Circuit show, or the "Universal Circuit" as some are calling it. I'm John Randolph and, as you might have noticed, this show is coming to you from the studio that OG-Joshi used to use for Amplitude before it switched formats. It's not like OG-Joshi and UBL aren't owned by the same corporation, after all, so why waste resources? Yes, the long-time profitable Orochi-O's Corporation won't need a bail out because somehow, shockingly, an owner that refers to himself as an Emperor can be financially reasonable! But you're probably watching this show to escape the horrors of the economic system collapsing in flames all around us so let's get to some pro wrestling, shall we?"
[John:] "We shall, but first I'd like to say that it's an honor for me to be hosting this show. Thank you to Drake Yoshida and Orochi Geese for giving me the opportunity. And thank you to Jean Carter who has given me some tips as to the best way to make my voice fill this room and how to look at my note card without making it obvious. With that, we have five big matches for you tonight that will appear shortly on the Ampli...CircuiTron."
Hank Panky vs. Vulcan Vesuvius
Athrin Cross vs. Crimson Tide
Silent Sword vs. Marquis du Douleur
Sam McCloud vs. Majin Black Omen
Kyle Walker vs. Jeremiah Jones
[John:] "Let's get to the ring to see the first match as Vulcan Vesuvius makes his UBL debut against the hapless, winless, and soberless, Hank Panky."
*The feed switches to the Battle Chamber in the Peter Venkman Memorial arena. There's a newly designed ring inside of it (you'll see it later) - presumably for the Reserve Roster.*
Already standing in there and trying not to throw up on the new mat is Hank Panky. The fans are chanting "YOU WON'T WIN THIS." *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* to which Hank replies: "I have a hang-over, please stop clapping!!" The fans reply: "STOMP OUR FEET THEN" and then stomp in rhythm. Hank just finishes his drink and gets ready for the match. Out next comes the debuting Vulcan Vesuvius. The fans take a few seconds to just take in the sight of a man on FIRE and then, without skipping a beat: "DUDE'S ON FIRE" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* Vulcan grins, whether because it was a clever chant or cause it gave his opponent a further headache, we don't know. But he's in the ring now and ready to start...but not before the referee makes sure Hank's drink is out of the ring (as we don't need alcohol mixing with Vulcan and causing all sorts of Fire code violations!!).
Match #1: Hank Panky vs. Vulcan Vesuvius
From the look on Hank's face, he has no idea how to fight Vulcan or even, how he himself got into the ring in the first place. Vulcan immediately hits a running shoulder block, knocking Hank down and setting the pace for this match. Hank has very little offense to offer that actually affects Vulcan, whether it be due to his size and resiliency or the fact he appears to be a legitimate monster. (Note to Furis: THAT's how it's done.) After punishing Hank with the "Hammers of Vulcan" (various hammer blows) and headbutts he calls the "Helm Splitter" (may come in handy against the Centurion!), Vulcan hoists Hank up and decimates him with a snap powerbomb. But not content to finish him off, he instead elects to make him submit with the "Hero Tamer" (torture half crab). As Panky is either KO'd or sleeping at this point, the ref calls the match.
Hank Panky (X) [Hero Tamer - 4:50] (O) Vulcan Vesuvius
Gonna be a helluva hangover for Panky. Vulcan leaves the ring triumphant and then searches for Hank's unfinished drink. He pours it on himself as the chemical reaction causes somewhat of an ASPLOSION, which wow the fans. He then steals a cigar from a fan and lights it by using himself, walking away with a grin.
*We go back to the studio where John looks impressed.*
[John:] "Well, one thing is for sure, this monster's got STYLE. He's also not the typical: "RAWAR RWAR I CANT PRONOUNCE 'V's" monster but is crushingly competent in the ring. We'll see if he can keep up his winning ways when he has much harder competition in the future. I'd like to see him go against someone closer to his own size or even, at the least, someone not more then 75% drunk."
[John:] "Shifting gears from spirits to the spirited, I'd like to take this moment to bring down a special little lady, "Mean" Jean Carter of UBL and OG-Joshi. Jean, come on down."
*Jean Carter walks onto the set, smiling and waving, and shakes hands with John. She takes a look around, appearing nostalgic, and sits down in a chair next to him. And suddenly the studio has been transformed into an imprompty interview set!*
[John:] "So, how do you like what we've done with the place?"
[Jean:] "Wowee, it looks great! It's nice but bittersweet to be back here! I miss my old days on Amplitude studio but I'm glad it's being put to good use! Haste makes waste and waste makes paste! And kids, don't eat paste!! Or, at least, don't go back for seconds!"
[John:] "Now Jean, I understand that today is something of a special occasion."
[Jean:] "Yeppers! On March 18th, 2005, OG-FPD held its second PPV - "Murderers Row." I wasn't working for the company back then, so naturally i didn't get to suggest a more friendly name like "Chutes and Ladder Matches" or "Banana-nana-fo-fanna Fights" but anyway, 'M-Row' presented the first EVER OG-Joshi match!"
[John:] "Is that so?"
[Jean:] "Yeah! Or else this segment would be kinda silly!" *Jean giggles*
[John:] "Pretty much."
[Jean:] "Not only did it feature the first ever OG-Joshi match, but that match was for the OG-Joshi Championship, back before Haley Cannon defended it 'round the WORLD against sea monsters and dirigibles! So today is actually the 4 year anniversary of OG-Joshi and it's Championship too!"
[John:] "Well, that's quite an milestone and my congratulations to OG-Joshi and all those involved. Hey Jean, who was in that first match?"
*Jean's face quickly goes from happy to sullen*
[Jean:] "Uh..."
*John blushes as she realized he did NOT want to go 'there'*
[John:] "All right...yeah. Maybe we should move along..."
[Jean:] "No, it's ok, I'm a professional...I can do this. It was the current title holder Hol... Robin Walker, Jo Ryder, and...Diane Cavuto, Dizzy, *Jean's voice begins to crack* who became the first champion..."
[John:] "Ok and we're gonna take a small commercial break now. Thanks for joining us, Jean, and Happy Anniversary to OG-Joshi!"
*The camera fades to commercials for OG-Joshi Amplitude as John attempts to console a teary eyed Jean.*
*The commercial consists of General Celes in front of an OG-Joshi banner.*
[Celes:] "Welcome fans, we are only a few weeks away from the final Amplitude before the OG-Joshi Renaissance PPV. On our next show, there will be a number of important announcements regarding the Amplitude roster's participation in the PPV. And a Happy Anniversary to OG-Joshi, the promotion that thrives, seemingly miraculously, without the support of it's own owner. Back to you, Mr. Randolph."
*We go back to John who looks a bit stressed.*
[John:] "My apologies again to Jean Carter for anything inappropriate I might have said."
*John puts his 'game face' back on.*
[John:] "But back to business as next we have the first singles match of Athrin Cross' UBL career. He will be going up against the UBL Reserves representative of SMN - Crimson Tide. We haven't seen Crimson since his first round loss in the Nexus Title Tournament against Elvis Archibal, but my sources (Crimson Tide) tell me that he's very motivated and hopes to get a victory against this UBL "rookie." What Crimson doesn't realize is that Athrin isn't a rookie to the ring itself, having already won championships in other prestigious promotions like the CWA and is on a meteoric rise in the very promotion OrochiGeese is Champion of, the FPCPP. So if Crimson expects Athrin to be a hapless rookie, he may be in for quite a surprise."
*Back to ringside.*
Crimson Tide makes his entrance to some mild applause and "SMN" chants which he nods to. Then Athrin comes out to a big reaction with people chanting "Demon" and "Red Rust" which he bows his head appreciably to and grins. He gets into the ring and shares an intense stare with Crimson. The two of them nod, get into ready position, and we're off to the races!
Match #2: Athrin vs. Crimson Tide
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
Athrin (O) [Lariat of Rage - 13:30] (X) Crimson Tide
*We go back to the studio.*
[John:] "That has to be one of the first times I've ever seen a "Sleeper suplex" wake someone up like that! Crimson Tide had control of the match and hit that specialty, only for Athrin to pop right up and go into an onslaught of his own, capped off with his own cobra clutch suplex. From there, both men really brought out some of their strongest moves and Athrin again amazed us with his resiliency by kicking out of that top rope avalanche reverse frankensteiner! I thought the match was over there but Athrin held on and soon hit his Lariat of Rage (western lariat). Athrin looked extremely impressive in his debut but you have to hand it to Crimson Tide who had one of his best UBL performances yet."
[John:] "And now it's time to go to the ring for the singles debut of Silent Sword who will be facing the injured or not Marquis du Douleur. By all visual evidence and admission, Marquis's arm was broken by the "Omega" Owen Churchill who used a Kimura arm bar to win at the recent Open show. However, there has been some talk by Marquis and his new found ally, Jean DuBreil that Marquis' arm will be healed by the time of this match due to the usage of voodoo..."
*John sighs and rolls his eyes*
[John:] "Listen... I'm an equal opportunity BS-caller and I don't think these two are any more credible then Jakob Furis even if they seem a bit more competent with their attacks. But let's go to the ring and see if Silent Sword can pick up his first singles victory here. He already convincingly won his first UBL match in a tag team with Athrin and is no stranger to singles gold being a multi-time SCW World and Graveyard Champion - heck, maybe he picked up something in said graveyard to ward off voodoo spirits."
*Back to ringside.*
Silent Sword makes his way to the ring in a karate gi and is getting a good reaction from the fans, many of which are actually wearing merchandise of his from other promotions. He gets into the ring and bows to everyone before doing some mild stretching. Next we have Marquis du Douleur who...well, I guess the voodoo didn't work so well as he's still wearing a cast. Sword shoots him a concerned look at facing a man with a hurt arm, but Marquis mimes that he'll be ok with the universal "thumbs up" display, and then takes what's left of Sword's hesitancy by offering a "you're number #1" gesture to Sword with the wrong finger.
Match #3: Silent Sword vs. Marquis du Douleur
Sword and Marquis begin the match off by testing each other's martial art skills. Marquis is a practitioner of the savate martial art and despite his violent tendencies, is actually a very accomplished technical stand-up fighter. As a result, Sword is getting a real test here as Marquis has a reach advantage and appears to be slightly slower but more flexible. Marquis is tending to favor his kicks and stay away from striking with his cast-covered arm. Sword occasionally aims for that arm, which Marquis guards very carefully, but is also hitting some effective leg kicks. Sword begins to take control but gets a thumb to the eye after a few seconds of having the advantage.
Marquis irish whips Sword into the corner and hits a few mid kicks. Then he actually starts taking off his cast? What's going on here! An attack, that's what! Marquis has tried to crush his hard cast over Sword's head but Sword somersaults under it to safety. Now Sword is angry and begins chasing him! Marquis rolls out of the ring and...under the ring? Sword chases him under and when they both emerge, Marquis gets back into the ring. Hrmm, must be a lot of dust under there as Marquis looks a bit odd. But he has the advantage again as he is first in the ring and attacks Sword. This time, he isn't shying away from using his arms and he begins to start grappling more and not strike as much. He appears to be going after Sword's legs here, conscious of the speed and offence they provide him. But he doesn't stop there as he also begins working on Sword's arms and neck, mounting a full scale assault on his joints that Sword did not appear to expect. In fact, Marquis looks more well-rounded then usual here and you'd never know his arm was broken.
Did Jean DuBreil's voodoo really work?
In any case, it didn't stop Marquis from making a key mistake in allowing Sword back to his feet to attempt a running leg lariat. Sword ducks it and then hits with his own high roundhouse kick, sending Marquis tumbling out of the ring. Again, he goes to escape under the ring and comes out the other side...but this time, Sword had it scouted and hits a huge plancha on the now-standing Marquis, looking himself again. Sword brings him back into the ring and takes control with a variety of kicks, which Marquis has no answer to this time. Sword sets him up into the corner and then runs in with a Super K combo, sending Marquis down in the middle of the ring. But Sword isn't done yet as he waits for Marquis to get up and then WHAM, Superkick!! And to round out the two massive kicks, he applies an Anaconda Vice! He calls this entire combination the "Snap, Crackle, Pop" and Marquis is in MAJOR trouble right now!!
But suddenly the lights in the arena go off and a woman's scream is heard!! (KOC2 style) When the lights finally come back on, we see Jean DuBreil in the ring with his hands in the air and a voodoo symbol painted in BLOOD in the middle of the ring! Sword looks confused but that expression is replaced by pain when Jean DuBreil (with remnants of what appears to be white paint on his face) suddenly sends him off of Marquis with a running kick to the head!"And Guybrush (of all refs) has had enough with all this hoodoo, he's calling for a disqualification due to illegal interference!
Sword (O) [Disqualification - 13:30] (X) Marquis Du Douleur
But that isn't stopping the attack! (when does it ever?) Marquis and Jean DuBreil are putting the boots to the victorious Sword here, much like they did to Omega at the previous show. Marquis then goes to the top rope and hits a somersault leg drop on Sword, keeping him down. This gives Jean the chance to put Sword in a nerve hold, incapacitating his neck and controlling his body while Marquis takes out his sickle. As he begins carving Sword's head, we see Athrin has emerged from backstage and is power walking to the ring holding a kendo stick! Jean DuBreil begins rustling through his pockets and takes out a vial which he tries to put near Sword's head to collect the blood but Athrin SMASHES the vial out of his hands with the kendo stick, spilling more blood on the ring. Marquis and Jean think better of this confrontation and roll out of the ring as Athrin helps Sword to his feet. Athrin is fired up here and the "Bastille of Blood" appears to be wary of the "Raging Demon" as well as Sword who is coming back to himself after shaking off that nerve hold and wiping the blood out of his eyes. They get cheers from the fans while the Bastille slink into the darkness (i.e. 'poor lighting' around the left area of the stage due to fire code violations).
*We go back to the studio.*
[John:] "Wait...how did Jean paint in the dark? No really, that doesn't add up at ALL. An intricate voodoo symbol suddenly appears in the middle of the ring when he couldn't see? Not to mention why did the lights go off in the first place? Man, this is weird, I don't like it. It's weird and wrong and worse yet, it appears to be working for Jean and Marquis, short of Athrin's save. So Furis goes insane...r and then we get an upgrade of creepyness in UBL? This doesn't bode well for anyone, and Marquis and Jean appear to have an agenda here. Lucky for Sword though, that agenda was not fully met thanks to his fierce student Athrin."
[John:] "And now we turn to yet another wrestler making his debut, "Majin" Black Omen. While this man certainly has some mystery to him and a dark foreboding presence, he's here for one thing - the fight. The competition. Not steal blood or talk to mirrors. Majin issued a bit of an open challenge to the locker room which Sam McCloud of TMG200Y answered. Sam considers himself and his unique blend of styles to be a fitting answer to Omen's challenge. Let's see which one emerges the winner."
*Back to ringside.*
Before the match, Majin went over to Sam and said: "I came to fight the strongest, show me you are amongst them." Sam nodded to him before doing about five super taunts (Dan Hibiki style) which suprisingly did not impress Majin or drain anyone's "meters". But the match began and the crowd was on the edge of their seats to witness the intensity of both men.
Match #4: Sam S. McCloud vs. "Majin" Black Omen
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
Sam S. McCloud (X) [Dragon Suplex - 12:10] (O) "Majin" Black Omen
*We go back to the studio with a wide-eyed John.*
[John:] "Wow! That was an incredible fight! No man held back or took a second to rest! They just kept going at each other until, finally, Majin was able to keep Sam down with the Dragon Suplex. While Majin won, you have to figure he respects Sam for that showing, and vice versa. I think Majin is certainly an excellent addition to a roster packed, for the most part, with individuals seeking to be the absolute best warriors in the world today. And while Sam lost, he certainly showed that he is a force to be reckoned with in singles competition just as he is in tag with the TMG200Y Battalion."
[John:] "And now we turn to the main event and it's quite an interesting one as one of the most celebrated junior heavyweights of the last ten years makes his return tonight. Jeremiah "Frog" Jones was last seen in a UBL ring almost two entire years ago as he took on and narrowly defeated his former best friend, Eddie Swan, at the July 2007 Open Show."
[John:] "Jeremiah is back tonight after making a challenge for a match to Kyle Walker. From a styles standpoint, this has potential to be an amazing match. Jeremiah is a very accomplished junior, arguably a legend, having won titles in PW-W and McPro. Kyle Walker is still, comparatively, a bit of a rookie despite being described by many as a prodigy in the ring based on the victories and efforts he has shown in the face of adversity. In fact, neither man has ever backed down from a challenge. One has to figure that Jeremiah's return here is based on wanting to test the future of the junior heavyweight division tonight. And what a test it will be for both men: Jeremiah against the quicker and hungry to prove himself Kyle, and Kyle against the more experienced and stronger Jones. Let's get to the ring."
*Back to ringside.*
Jeremiah Jones comes down to the ring to "Hysteria," by Muse, and gets MASSIVE applause from the fans as they hold up "WE STILL LOVE YOU, FROG" and "TEAM RYDER LIVES FOREVER IN MY HEART OF HEARTS" signs. Even a "SAY HI TO PHIL BUSTER" sign makes an appearance which leads Jeremiah to grin a bit but then he becomes all business. He gets into the ring where he begins slowly warming up but his eyes are focused on the entrance ramp. Kyle Walker comes down to "Kick 'em when he's down" which...elicits a notable physical reaction in Jones' face, as he tenses up. Kyle slaps hands with the fans who are glad to see him too. He gets into the ring and looks to Jeremiah, offering a handshake that surprisingly, to the fans, isn't returned. Anji is our ref and we're ready to-
Match #5: Kyle Walker vs. Jeremiah Jones
ELBOW to the face of Kyle! The bell didn't even ring yet and Jones is on the attack! Another massive elbow sends Kyle right down! These aren't "feeling out opponent" elbows, but ones of the magnitude that took down the likes of Mr. Figaro: a man twice the size of Kyle. Kyle scrambles to get his bearings but is being stomped down in the corner right now! A foot choke keeps him at bay as Jones screams out - "We're just getting started!" The fans who had been cheering Jones are starting to get quieter as he mounts Kyle and begins alternatingly rubbing and crushing his elbow in Kyle's face Kyle grabs the ropes, allowing Anji to force a break and admonishes Jones, but he just blows past Anji with a knee to Kyle's head as he tries to get up. Kyle slips out of the ring to try to get a breather but Jones follows him and rams his head into the metal turnbuckle! This is a brutal attack so far and the fans are now completely quiet and stunned as a result.
Jones throws Kyle back into the ring and then reaches under the ring apron, pulling out a steel chair. He rolls back into the ring but Anji immediately grabs the chair out of his hands. He pushes Anji but Kyle has enough time to attempt a roll-up on Jones! Anji gets to a 1 count (he had to drop the chair first!) before Jones kicks out with intensity. Kyle can't follow up but Jones is more then ready with a few snap suplexes to Kyle ONTO the chair. Jones then whips Kyle into the ropes and POWERSLAMS him onto the chair...but doesn't attempt a pin. Instead, he goes onto the top rope...FROG SPLASH ONTO KYLE ON THE CHAIR!! Kyle writhes in pain but Jones' expression remains stoic. He begins stomping Kyle on the chair when...
It's Holly!! Holly Walker has run down to ringside and slides into the ring. She pushes Jones off of Kyle but the look in Jeremiah's eyes when he sees her is much worse then anything we've just seen towards Kyle. Without a second of warning or hesitation, Jeremiah thrusts the point of his elbow directly into her face, and my gosh, I think he just broke her nose!! She's down on the mat, screaming and trying to stop the blood flow. But that's not all that was unleashed by that wicked elbow shot...
As Kyle immediately tackled Jones! Kyle's face is red and contorted with rage after seeing Holly hurt!! Pure fight or flight adrenaline has kicked in to give his beaten form a new reserve of manic energy as he's pummeling the overwhelmed Jones with his fists and even headbutts! The fans have never seen Kyle so rabid as he's clawing at Jones's face while screaming!! Anji has to tear him off Jones but Kyle just grabs the very chair he was hurt with earlier and proceed to slam it onto Jones's back again and again as veins stand out on Kyle's forehead until Jeremiah finally rolls out of the ring! This gives Kyle a chance to check on the downed Holly but Jones has already gotten a chair from outside the ring. Holly motions for Kyle to keep his eyes on Jones and not worry about her, as Jeremiah is now in the ring ready to resume the fight.
And Anji has just signalled to the timekeeper to ring the bell - this match is over, it's ruled a "no contest and now security is swarming to the ring to get in the middle of the chair-wielding Kyle and Jeremiah Jones who have ferocious looks in their faces. Both men should be hobbled from the beatings they just took but their intensity has warded off any fatigue or injury for now. Even Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde have come down here to get in between them and stop a further bloodbath cause security wasn't sufficient!
If things weren't serious enough, Orochi Geese is now storming down to the ring. Jones hasn't bailed out though and only Figaro and Clyde are able to keep Geese from making good on the murderous look in his eyes. If Figaro actually defending Jeremiah Jones (who seems not to want to BE defended) from Geese's homicidal intentions aren't an absurd enough sight, General Celes coming down to ringside to ward off any potential crowd jumper attacks on the downed Holly sure is (Icole-Nay Ramesi-Day, anyone?). Kyle and Jeremiah are screaming profanities that can not be repeated here (amazingly, Kyle is keeping up with Jones who is known for his sailor mouth) as they still try to lunge at each other but are being held back. This is a total mess as the ring is filled with Orochi Army, Jones, Drake Yoshida, Genji Security and now medics to look at Holly's likely broken nose. The ring is packed so tight no one can even move and finally Genji Security manages to remove Jones and escort him backstage with the help of Figaro and Clyde. This leaves Kyle and Geese in the ring to help Holly and as the action has settled down, the scene fades out.
Kyle Walker (-) [No Context - Melee - 8:00] (-) Jeremiah Jones
*We go back to the studio where Drake Yoshida has joined a wide-eyed John.*
[Drake:] "What you just saw needs no further explanation. Geese will be holding a press conference soon to address the events of this show. We considered not even viewing this footage but Geese demanded that it be shown so that the eventual destruction, evisceration, and permanent crippling of Jeremiah Jones can be used as an example for what happens when Orochi Army is disrepected to such a degree."
[John:] "Uh...we will see you next at the McPro-hosted Battalion show and then the April Open Show where the Nexus Championship will be decided. Good night fans and sorry again, Jean!"
*We open up to a studio to find John Randolph behind a desk*
[John:] "Hello and welcome to the first Universal Battle League Circuit show, or the "Universal Circuit" as some are calling it. I'm John Randolph and, as you might have noticed, this show is coming to you from the studio that OG-Joshi used to use for Amplitude before it switched formats. It's not like OG-Joshi and UBL aren't owned by the same corporation, after all, so why waste resources? Yes, the long-time profitable Orochi-O's Corporation won't need a bail out because somehow, shockingly, an owner that refers to himself as an Emperor can be financially reasonable! But you're probably watching this show to escape the horrors of the economic system collapsing in flames all around us so let's get to some pro wrestling, shall we?"
[John:] "We shall, but first I'd like to say that it's an honor for me to be hosting this show. Thank you to Drake Yoshida and Orochi Geese for giving me the opportunity. And thank you to Jean Carter who has given me some tips as to the best way to make my voice fill this room and how to look at my note card without making it obvious. With that, we have five big matches for you tonight that will appear shortly on the Ampli...CircuiTron."
Hank Panky vs. Vulcan Vesuvius
Athrin Cross vs. Crimson Tide
Silent Sword vs. Marquis du Douleur
Sam McCloud vs. Majin Black Omen
Kyle Walker vs. Jeremiah Jones
[John:] "Let's get to the ring to see the first match as Vulcan Vesuvius makes his UBL debut against the hapless, winless, and soberless, Hank Panky."
*The feed switches to the Battle Chamber in the Peter Venkman Memorial arena. There's a newly designed ring inside of it (you'll see it later) - presumably for the Reserve Roster.*
Already standing in there and trying not to throw up on the new mat is Hank Panky. The fans are chanting "YOU WON'T WIN THIS." *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* to which Hank replies: "I have a hang-over, please stop clapping!!" The fans reply: "STOMP OUR FEET THEN" and then stomp in rhythm. Hank just finishes his drink and gets ready for the match. Out next comes the debuting Vulcan Vesuvius. The fans take a few seconds to just take in the sight of a man on FIRE and then, without skipping a beat: "DUDE'S ON FIRE" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* Vulcan grins, whether because it was a clever chant or cause it gave his opponent a further headache, we don't know. But he's in the ring now and ready to start...but not before the referee makes sure Hank's drink is out of the ring (as we don't need alcohol mixing with Vulcan and causing all sorts of Fire code violations!!).
Match #1: Hank Panky vs. Vulcan Vesuvius
From the look on Hank's face, he has no idea how to fight Vulcan or even, how he himself got into the ring in the first place. Vulcan immediately hits a running shoulder block, knocking Hank down and setting the pace for this match. Hank has very little offense to offer that actually affects Vulcan, whether it be due to his size and resiliency or the fact he appears to be a legitimate monster. (Note to Furis: THAT's how it's done.) After punishing Hank with the "Hammers of Vulcan" (various hammer blows) and headbutts he calls the "Helm Splitter" (may come in handy against the Centurion!), Vulcan hoists Hank up and decimates him with a snap powerbomb. But not content to finish him off, he instead elects to make him submit with the "Hero Tamer" (torture half crab). As Panky is either KO'd or sleeping at this point, the ref calls the match.
Hank Panky (X) [Hero Tamer - 4:50] (O) Vulcan Vesuvius
Gonna be a helluva hangover for Panky. Vulcan leaves the ring triumphant and then searches for Hank's unfinished drink. He pours it on himself as the chemical reaction causes somewhat of an ASPLOSION, which wow the fans. He then steals a cigar from a fan and lights it by using himself, walking away with a grin.
*We go back to the studio where John looks impressed.*
[John:] "Well, one thing is for sure, this monster's got STYLE. He's also not the typical: "RAWAR RWAR I CANT PRONOUNCE 'V's" monster but is crushingly competent in the ring. We'll see if he can keep up his winning ways when he has much harder competition in the future. I'd like to see him go against someone closer to his own size or even, at the least, someone not more then 75% drunk."
[John:] "Shifting gears from spirits to the spirited, I'd like to take this moment to bring down a special little lady, "Mean" Jean Carter of UBL and OG-Joshi. Jean, come on down."
*Jean Carter walks onto the set, smiling and waving, and shakes hands with John. She takes a look around, appearing nostalgic, and sits down in a chair next to him. And suddenly the studio has been transformed into an imprompty interview set!*
[John:] "So, how do you like what we've done with the place?"
[Jean:] "Wowee, it looks great! It's nice but bittersweet to be back here! I miss my old days on Amplitude studio but I'm glad it's being put to good use! Haste makes waste and waste makes paste! And kids, don't eat paste!! Or, at least, don't go back for seconds!"
[John:] "Now Jean, I understand that today is something of a special occasion."
[Jean:] "Yeppers! On March 18th, 2005, OG-FPD held its second PPV - "Murderers Row." I wasn't working for the company back then, so naturally i didn't get to suggest a more friendly name like "Chutes and Ladder Matches" or "Banana-nana-fo-fanna Fights" but anyway, 'M-Row' presented the first EVER OG-Joshi match!"
[John:] "Is that so?"
[Jean:] "Yeah! Or else this segment would be kinda silly!" *Jean giggles*
[John:] "Pretty much."
[Jean:] "Not only did it feature the first ever OG-Joshi match, but that match was for the OG-Joshi Championship, back before Haley Cannon defended it 'round the WORLD against sea monsters and dirigibles! So today is actually the 4 year anniversary of OG-Joshi and it's Championship too!"
[John:] "Well, that's quite an milestone and my congratulations to OG-Joshi and all those involved. Hey Jean, who was in that first match?"
*Jean's face quickly goes from happy to sullen*
[Jean:] "Uh..."
*John blushes as she realized he did NOT want to go 'there'*
[John:] "All right...yeah. Maybe we should move along..."
[Jean:] "No, it's ok, I'm a professional...I can do this. It was the current title holder Hol... Robin Walker, Jo Ryder, and...Diane Cavuto, Dizzy, *Jean's voice begins to crack* who became the first champion..."
[John:] "Ok and we're gonna take a small commercial break now. Thanks for joining us, Jean, and Happy Anniversary to OG-Joshi!"
*The camera fades to commercials for OG-Joshi Amplitude as John attempts to console a teary eyed Jean.*
*The commercial consists of General Celes in front of an OG-Joshi banner.*
[Celes:] "Welcome fans, we are only a few weeks away from the final Amplitude before the OG-Joshi Renaissance PPV. On our next show, there will be a number of important announcements regarding the Amplitude roster's participation in the PPV. And a Happy Anniversary to OG-Joshi, the promotion that thrives, seemingly miraculously, without the support of it's own owner. Back to you, Mr. Randolph."
*We go back to John who looks a bit stressed.*
[John:] "My apologies again to Jean Carter for anything inappropriate I might have said."
*John puts his 'game face' back on.*
[John:] "But back to business as next we have the first singles match of Athrin Cross' UBL career. He will be going up against the UBL Reserves representative of SMN - Crimson Tide. We haven't seen Crimson since his first round loss in the Nexus Title Tournament against Elvis Archibal, but my sources (Crimson Tide) tell me that he's very motivated and hopes to get a victory against this UBL "rookie." What Crimson doesn't realize is that Athrin isn't a rookie to the ring itself, having already won championships in other prestigious promotions like the CWA and is on a meteoric rise in the very promotion OrochiGeese is Champion of, the FPCPP. So if Crimson expects Athrin to be a hapless rookie, he may be in for quite a surprise."
*Back to ringside.*
Crimson Tide makes his entrance to some mild applause and "SMN" chants which he nods to. Then Athrin comes out to a big reaction with people chanting "Demon" and "Red Rust" which he bows his head appreciably to and grins. He gets into the ring and shares an intense stare with Crimson. The two of them nod, get into ready position, and we're off to the races!
Match #2: Athrin vs. Crimson Tide
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
Athrin (O) [Lariat of Rage - 13:30] (X) Crimson Tide
*We go back to the studio.*
[John:] "That has to be one of the first times I've ever seen a "Sleeper suplex" wake someone up like that! Crimson Tide had control of the match and hit that specialty, only for Athrin to pop right up and go into an onslaught of his own, capped off with his own cobra clutch suplex. From there, both men really brought out some of their strongest moves and Athrin again amazed us with his resiliency by kicking out of that top rope avalanche reverse frankensteiner! I thought the match was over there but Athrin held on and soon hit his Lariat of Rage (western lariat). Athrin looked extremely impressive in his debut but you have to hand it to Crimson Tide who had one of his best UBL performances yet."
[John:] "And now it's time to go to the ring for the singles debut of Silent Sword who will be facing the injured or not Marquis du Douleur. By all visual evidence and admission, Marquis's arm was broken by the "Omega" Owen Churchill who used a Kimura arm bar to win at the recent Open show. However, there has been some talk by Marquis and his new found ally, Jean DuBreil that Marquis' arm will be healed by the time of this match due to the usage of voodoo..."
*John sighs and rolls his eyes*
[John:] "Listen... I'm an equal opportunity BS-caller and I don't think these two are any more credible then Jakob Furis even if they seem a bit more competent with their attacks. But let's go to the ring and see if Silent Sword can pick up his first singles victory here. He already convincingly won his first UBL match in a tag team with Athrin and is no stranger to singles gold being a multi-time SCW World and Graveyard Champion - heck, maybe he picked up something in said graveyard to ward off voodoo spirits."
*Back to ringside.*
Silent Sword makes his way to the ring in a karate gi and is getting a good reaction from the fans, many of which are actually wearing merchandise of his from other promotions. He gets into the ring and bows to everyone before doing some mild stretching. Next we have Marquis du Douleur who...well, I guess the voodoo didn't work so well as he's still wearing a cast. Sword shoots him a concerned look at facing a man with a hurt arm, but Marquis mimes that he'll be ok with the universal "thumbs up" display, and then takes what's left of Sword's hesitancy by offering a "you're number #1" gesture to Sword with the wrong finger.
Match #3: Silent Sword vs. Marquis du Douleur
Sword and Marquis begin the match off by testing each other's martial art skills. Marquis is a practitioner of the savate martial art and despite his violent tendencies, is actually a very accomplished technical stand-up fighter. As a result, Sword is getting a real test here as Marquis has a reach advantage and appears to be slightly slower but more flexible. Marquis is tending to favor his kicks and stay away from striking with his cast-covered arm. Sword occasionally aims for that arm, which Marquis guards very carefully, but is also hitting some effective leg kicks. Sword begins to take control but gets a thumb to the eye after a few seconds of having the advantage.
Marquis irish whips Sword into the corner and hits a few mid kicks. Then he actually starts taking off his cast? What's going on here! An attack, that's what! Marquis has tried to crush his hard cast over Sword's head but Sword somersaults under it to safety. Now Sword is angry and begins chasing him! Marquis rolls out of the ring and...under the ring? Sword chases him under and when they both emerge, Marquis gets back into the ring. Hrmm, must be a lot of dust under there as Marquis looks a bit odd. But he has the advantage again as he is first in the ring and attacks Sword. This time, he isn't shying away from using his arms and he begins to start grappling more and not strike as much. He appears to be going after Sword's legs here, conscious of the speed and offence they provide him. But he doesn't stop there as he also begins working on Sword's arms and neck, mounting a full scale assault on his joints that Sword did not appear to expect. In fact, Marquis looks more well-rounded then usual here and you'd never know his arm was broken.
Did Jean DuBreil's voodoo really work?
In any case, it didn't stop Marquis from making a key mistake in allowing Sword back to his feet to attempt a running leg lariat. Sword ducks it and then hits with his own high roundhouse kick, sending Marquis tumbling out of the ring. Again, he goes to escape under the ring and comes out the other side...but this time, Sword had it scouted and hits a huge plancha on the now-standing Marquis, looking himself again. Sword brings him back into the ring and takes control with a variety of kicks, which Marquis has no answer to this time. Sword sets him up into the corner and then runs in with a Super K combo, sending Marquis down in the middle of the ring. But Sword isn't done yet as he waits for Marquis to get up and then WHAM, Superkick!! And to round out the two massive kicks, he applies an Anaconda Vice! He calls this entire combination the "Snap, Crackle, Pop" and Marquis is in MAJOR trouble right now!!
But suddenly the lights in the arena go off and a woman's scream is heard!! (KOC2 style) When the lights finally come back on, we see Jean DuBreil in the ring with his hands in the air and a voodoo symbol painted in BLOOD in the middle of the ring! Sword looks confused but that expression is replaced by pain when Jean DuBreil (with remnants of what appears to be white paint on his face) suddenly sends him off of Marquis with a running kick to the head!"And Guybrush (of all refs) has had enough with all this hoodoo, he's calling for a disqualification due to illegal interference!
Sword (O) [Disqualification - 13:30] (X) Marquis Du Douleur
But that isn't stopping the attack! (when does it ever?) Marquis and Jean DuBreil are putting the boots to the victorious Sword here, much like they did to Omega at the previous show. Marquis then goes to the top rope and hits a somersault leg drop on Sword, keeping him down. This gives Jean the chance to put Sword in a nerve hold, incapacitating his neck and controlling his body while Marquis takes out his sickle. As he begins carving Sword's head, we see Athrin has emerged from backstage and is power walking to the ring holding a kendo stick! Jean DuBreil begins rustling through his pockets and takes out a vial which he tries to put near Sword's head to collect the blood but Athrin SMASHES the vial out of his hands with the kendo stick, spilling more blood on the ring. Marquis and Jean think better of this confrontation and roll out of the ring as Athrin helps Sword to his feet. Athrin is fired up here and the "Bastille of Blood" appears to be wary of the "Raging Demon" as well as Sword who is coming back to himself after shaking off that nerve hold and wiping the blood out of his eyes. They get cheers from the fans while the Bastille slink into the darkness (i.e. 'poor lighting' around the left area of the stage due to fire code violations).
*We go back to the studio.*
[John:] "Wait...how did Jean paint in the dark? No really, that doesn't add up at ALL. An intricate voodoo symbol suddenly appears in the middle of the ring when he couldn't see? Not to mention why did the lights go off in the first place? Man, this is weird, I don't like it. It's weird and wrong and worse yet, it appears to be working for Jean and Marquis, short of Athrin's save. So Furis goes insane...r and then we get an upgrade of creepyness in UBL? This doesn't bode well for anyone, and Marquis and Jean appear to have an agenda here. Lucky for Sword though, that agenda was not fully met thanks to his fierce student Athrin."
[John:] "And now we turn to yet another wrestler making his debut, "Majin" Black Omen. While this man certainly has some mystery to him and a dark foreboding presence, he's here for one thing - the fight. The competition. Not steal blood or talk to mirrors. Majin issued a bit of an open challenge to the locker room which Sam McCloud of TMG200Y answered. Sam considers himself and his unique blend of styles to be a fitting answer to Omen's challenge. Let's see which one emerges the winner."
*Back to ringside.*
Before the match, Majin went over to Sam and said: "I came to fight the strongest, show me you are amongst them." Sam nodded to him before doing about five super taunts (Dan Hibiki style) which suprisingly did not impress Majin or drain anyone's "meters". But the match began and the crowd was on the edge of their seats to witness the intensity of both men.
Match #4: Sam S. McCloud vs. "Majin" Black Omen
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
POST MATCH SPOILERS*
Sam S. McCloud (X) [Dragon Suplex - 12:10] (O) "Majin" Black Omen
*We go back to the studio with a wide-eyed John.*
[John:] "Wow! That was an incredible fight! No man held back or took a second to rest! They just kept going at each other until, finally, Majin was able to keep Sam down with the Dragon Suplex. While Majin won, you have to figure he respects Sam for that showing, and vice versa. I think Majin is certainly an excellent addition to a roster packed, for the most part, with individuals seeking to be the absolute best warriors in the world today. And while Sam lost, he certainly showed that he is a force to be reckoned with in singles competition just as he is in tag with the TMG200Y Battalion."
[John:] "And now we turn to the main event and it's quite an interesting one as one of the most celebrated junior heavyweights of the last ten years makes his return tonight. Jeremiah "Frog" Jones was last seen in a UBL ring almost two entire years ago as he took on and narrowly defeated his former best friend, Eddie Swan, at the July 2007 Open Show."
[John:] "Jeremiah is back tonight after making a challenge for a match to Kyle Walker. From a styles standpoint, this has potential to be an amazing match. Jeremiah is a very accomplished junior, arguably a legend, having won titles in PW-W and McPro. Kyle Walker is still, comparatively, a bit of a rookie despite being described by many as a prodigy in the ring based on the victories and efforts he has shown in the face of adversity. In fact, neither man has ever backed down from a challenge. One has to figure that Jeremiah's return here is based on wanting to test the future of the junior heavyweight division tonight. And what a test it will be for both men: Jeremiah against the quicker and hungry to prove himself Kyle, and Kyle against the more experienced and stronger Jones. Let's get to the ring."
*Back to ringside.*
Jeremiah Jones comes down to the ring to "Hysteria," by Muse, and gets MASSIVE applause from the fans as they hold up "WE STILL LOVE YOU, FROG" and "TEAM RYDER LIVES FOREVER IN MY HEART OF HEARTS" signs. Even a "SAY HI TO PHIL BUSTER" sign makes an appearance which leads Jeremiah to grin a bit but then he becomes all business. He gets into the ring where he begins slowly warming up but his eyes are focused on the entrance ramp. Kyle Walker comes down to "Kick 'em when he's down" which...elicits a notable physical reaction in Jones' face, as he tenses up. Kyle slaps hands with the fans who are glad to see him too. He gets into the ring and looks to Jeremiah, offering a handshake that surprisingly, to the fans, isn't returned. Anji is our ref and we're ready to-
Match #5: Kyle Walker vs. Jeremiah Jones
ELBOW to the face of Kyle! The bell didn't even ring yet and Jones is on the attack! Another massive elbow sends Kyle right down! These aren't "feeling out opponent" elbows, but ones of the magnitude that took down the likes of Mr. Figaro: a man twice the size of Kyle. Kyle scrambles to get his bearings but is being stomped down in the corner right now! A foot choke keeps him at bay as Jones screams out - "We're just getting started!" The fans who had been cheering Jones are starting to get quieter as he mounts Kyle and begins alternatingly rubbing and crushing his elbow in Kyle's face Kyle grabs the ropes, allowing Anji to force a break and admonishes Jones, but he just blows past Anji with a knee to Kyle's head as he tries to get up. Kyle slips out of the ring to try to get a breather but Jones follows him and rams his head into the metal turnbuckle! This is a brutal attack so far and the fans are now completely quiet and stunned as a result.
Jones throws Kyle back into the ring and then reaches under the ring apron, pulling out a steel chair. He rolls back into the ring but Anji immediately grabs the chair out of his hands. He pushes Anji but Kyle has enough time to attempt a roll-up on Jones! Anji gets to a 1 count (he had to drop the chair first!) before Jones kicks out with intensity. Kyle can't follow up but Jones is more then ready with a few snap suplexes to Kyle ONTO the chair. Jones then whips Kyle into the ropes and POWERSLAMS him onto the chair...but doesn't attempt a pin. Instead, he goes onto the top rope...FROG SPLASH ONTO KYLE ON THE CHAIR!! Kyle writhes in pain but Jones' expression remains stoic. He begins stomping Kyle on the chair when...
It's Holly!! Holly Walker has run down to ringside and slides into the ring. She pushes Jones off of Kyle but the look in Jeremiah's eyes when he sees her is much worse then anything we've just seen towards Kyle. Without a second of warning or hesitation, Jeremiah thrusts the point of his elbow directly into her face, and my gosh, I think he just broke her nose!! She's down on the mat, screaming and trying to stop the blood flow. But that's not all that was unleashed by that wicked elbow shot...
As Kyle immediately tackled Jones! Kyle's face is red and contorted with rage after seeing Holly hurt!! Pure fight or flight adrenaline has kicked in to give his beaten form a new reserve of manic energy as he's pummeling the overwhelmed Jones with his fists and even headbutts! The fans have never seen Kyle so rabid as he's clawing at Jones's face while screaming!! Anji has to tear him off Jones but Kyle just grabs the very chair he was hurt with earlier and proceed to slam it onto Jones's back again and again as veins stand out on Kyle's forehead until Jeremiah finally rolls out of the ring! This gives Kyle a chance to check on the downed Holly but Jones has already gotten a chair from outside the ring. Holly motions for Kyle to keep his eyes on Jones and not worry about her, as Jeremiah is now in the ring ready to resume the fight.
And Anji has just signalled to the timekeeper to ring the bell - this match is over, it's ruled a "no contest and now security is swarming to the ring to get in the middle of the chair-wielding Kyle and Jeremiah Jones who have ferocious looks in their faces. Both men should be hobbled from the beatings they just took but their intensity has warded off any fatigue or injury for now. Even Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde have come down here to get in between them and stop a further bloodbath cause security wasn't sufficient!
If things weren't serious enough, Orochi Geese is now storming down to the ring. Jones hasn't bailed out though and only Figaro and Clyde are able to keep Geese from making good on the murderous look in his eyes. If Figaro actually defending Jeremiah Jones (who seems not to want to BE defended) from Geese's homicidal intentions aren't an absurd enough sight, General Celes coming down to ringside to ward off any potential crowd jumper attacks on the downed Holly sure is (Icole-Nay Ramesi-Day, anyone?). Kyle and Jeremiah are screaming profanities that can not be repeated here (amazingly, Kyle is keeping up with Jones who is known for his sailor mouth) as they still try to lunge at each other but are being held back. This is a total mess as the ring is filled with Orochi Army, Jones, Drake Yoshida, Genji Security and now medics to look at Holly's likely broken nose. The ring is packed so tight no one can even move and finally Genji Security manages to remove Jones and escort him backstage with the help of Figaro and Clyde. This leaves Kyle and Geese in the ring to help Holly and as the action has settled down, the scene fades out.
Kyle Walker (-) [No Context - Melee - 8:00] (-) Jeremiah Jones
*We go back to the studio where Drake Yoshida has joined a wide-eyed John.*
[Drake:] "What you just saw needs no further explanation. Geese will be holding a press conference soon to address the events of this show. We considered not even viewing this footage but Geese demanded that it be shown so that the eventual destruction, evisceration, and permanent crippling of Jeremiah Jones can be used as an example for what happens when Orochi Army is disrepected to such a degree."
[John:] "Uh...we will see you next at the McPro-hosted Battalion show and then the April Open Show where the Nexus Championship will be decided. Good night fans and sorry again, Jean!"