September 2007
Oct 12, 2007 21:47:22 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Oct 12, 2007 21:47:22 GMT -5
UBL Open show - September 2007.
The fourth Open show has arrived in a way that can only be described as "unfashionably late!"
We fade into the arena where we see the fans abuzz with abuzzment and look to ringside. OrochiGeese is notably absent, likely due to the events of the previous few Singles League shows. Holly is also absent, likely due to paranoia (or is that legitimate FEAR) from an Alicia Gordon attack. However, Mr. Figaro is there...loudly. He is joined by Kyle Walker who is drinking a soda despite Figaro's attempts to "nut up" and have some beer. The crowd around them thanks Kyle for volunteering to be sober enough to calm down Figaro, if past shows are any indication of what could go wrong! As it is, Kyle has already prevented about five sexual harassment lawsuits by explaining the "kick in the nads means 'no' " philosophy to Figaro!
But in the next match, a kick in the nads may mean VICTORY! As we start tonight with the wily Mr. Pants taking on crowd-favorite Beenie the Bear in another BINGO-1 co-sponsored match! Of note is the fact that Mr. Pants and our referee for this match, Coach McGuirk, seem to be chatting a lot with each other before the match, making mention of "old times." Could this be a problem for Beenie the Bear or just a reference that only about three of our viewers will get!? Let's find out!!
Match #1: Mr. Pants vs. Beenie the Bear
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And the crowd is up on their feet yelling in protest at the apparent screwjob!! Some say that Coach McGuirk administered a fast count on that roll-up to get Mr. Pants the win! Others say, "No, no he didn't!" That is significantly less provocative though, they really need to come up with a better counter-chant! One thing for sure is that Mr. Pants was in danger from a big Beenie comeback! He had no choice but to stop Beanie's offensive momentum by rolling him up, and he had him down long enough for Coach to make the (quick?) count! Mr. Pants wins! The cat has beaten the bear! Is this a sign of the apocalypse to come!? Or merely the results of an odd wrestling match and possible catspiracy!? All 3!
Mr. Pants (O) [Roll-up Pin - 15:21] (X) Beenie the Bear
Our next match involves the much touted LRI (Los Rudos Infernos) making their second straight Open show appearance as they take on the Generation NEON team of Dwayne Reade and Ryan Wright. In previous weeks, both of these teams have defeated the Canada Brothers, a team that will be in action later tonight. But after some of the post match tension that occurred between these teams at the first Open show, this match is about more then just appearing to be the top tag team in the UBL in preparation for next year's Battalion Tag League. And that is because there is some personal animosity between Dwayne Reade and Stuart Robinson after Stuart made some catcalls to Reade's "friend" Ruby Moreno! But Stuart and Drawne's tag partners are here to remind them to do what's best for their teams and not worry about personal issues. VD Dod summed up that thought so eloquently that even Stuart had to stop and nod at his partner's amazing grasp of the english language. However, Stuart Robinson is known for being a bit hot-headed (as are his unfortunate opponents who get hit with Burnerbreakers and fire!) so we'll see if cooler heads can prevail bere or if we are in store for an all out brawl between two of the most promising teams in the UBL!
Match #2: GeNEON (Reade/Wright) vs. LRI (Stuart/VD Dod)
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The wily veterans of LRI were simply too much for the upstart geNEON. While geNEON did have their opportunities to put the match away, LRI was saavy enough to wiggle out of them and used their knowledge of "shenaniganism" to turn the match to their favor on multiple occasions. Eventually, after some inspired leg work, Stuart Robinson earned the victory for LRI by making the now-grounded luchadore Ryan Wright tap out.
VD Dod/Stuart Robinson (O) [Escargot - 21:04] (X) Ryan Wright/Dwayne Reade
LRI leaves the ring peacefully but not without taunting the beaten geNEON team and claiming that they have no shot at beating them in the UBL Battalion Tag League next year. Of course, this was said in "Stuart Robinson-ese," which means it was accompanied by words that elicited shock from even Mr. Figaro, who went on to cover Kyle Walker's ears. Kyle looked less amused at this action then the surrounding crowd members did and pulled away from Figaro so fast that Figaro's beer spilled onto Stuart Robinson who had been walking back down the aisle. Stuart got all up in their faces but VD Dod calmed him down with more words of wisdom. Once calmed down, Stuart picked up the beer and brought it back with him backstage, an act that did not go without notice by a now beerless and morally outraged Mr. Figaro.
However, any chance of him retaliating was quickly extinguished when the music for the first competitor of our next match played on the OrochiTron. Figaro's expression turned from murderous anger to that of comical glee, as "Trans-Transylvanian Orchestra" filled the arena with its aura of self-important, pseudo-intimidation horror. And it was followed by the master of horror, Jakob Furis!! Figaro quickly forgot about the near-brawl with LRI and focused his energy on laughing his literal arse off at the somewhat frightened and anxious Jakob Furis, who is set to compete in a triple threat match next against his opponent from the previous show, Marquis de Douleur, and the entity who interrupted their match, Devil Goose!
All parties eventually make it to the ring: the crowd cringing the most when Devil Goose made his entrance. Many in the crowd are heard to wonder: "If the Marquis is a mime who swears allegiance to satanic forces, why doesn't he bow to Devil Goose?" While others are heard to respond with their own question, "Screw the philosophy, why the HELL is this match even taking place!?" We will hopefully have some meaningful answer (or cop-out) to both questions as this match begins NOW! ... Well, more accurately, when Furis stops being a scaredy-cat and gets into the ring. He claims he was stretching but most fans saw that for what it was: his attempt to identify all exit routes if the upcoming situation calls for it. But Devil Goose manages to reach over the top rope and DRAG Furis into the ring, thereby starting the match!
Match #3: Jakob Furis vs. Marquis de Douleur vs. Devil Goose
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The Marquis du Douleur is the wrestler who is able to focus long enough to find his opportunity and turn it into a victory! Furis is perpetually confused and the Devil Goose appeared to care more about inflicting pain and suffering on his opponents then getting a victory in the match! But Marquis was able to parlay his mime juggling skills into that of handling two dangerous opponents and getting the win when his opportunity arose. Of course the fact that Jakob Furis looked on passively and, well, dumbfoundedly at the final second of the ref's count didn't hurt Marquis' situation, but it sure made for amusing chants from the audience!! Such as: "You really ARE a bat, fruitcake, BLIND as one!" (Furis delighted at the audience acknowledgement of his ability to turn into a bat, and simply ignored the punchline)
Some in the crowd merely thought that Furis was confused as to the rules of this triple threat, as perhaps he was expecting the "elimination" type rather then "one fall". But seeing as Furis didn't protest to the referee after the match was over, it's safe to say that Furis simply had no f'n clue what was going on at the end! Or perhaps more charitably, he simply wanted to get out of there as soon as possible while not being the one to take the loss himself! But if you ask most audience members, it's the former explanation as the latter gives him WAY too much credit!
Marquis de Douleur (O) [Savate kick -16:25] (X) Jakob Furis (X) Devil Goose
But even though the match is over, the fight does not cease! That is because Devil Goose is enraged at being the one to drop the fall and so continues his unholy onslaught on both Furis and Marquis! The three continue fighting and it's clear that the referee can not control the situation. Who will save the eyes and souls of the audience from sustained insanity!?
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I SAID: "WHO WILL SAVE THE AUDIENCE AND DRIVE AWAY THE EVIL-DOERS!?"
WAIT A SECOND!? WHO IS THAT COMING FROM THE BACK!?
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What the hell!? It's Indy! Henry "Indy" James Jr! He has come down to the ring with what looks like a whip and chased away the three evil-doers! Furis scrambles to escape, as does Marquis. Devil Goose stays but gets whipped hard across the back and sqeals horrifically! But Indy doesn't stay around, rather he turns and points to Jakob Furis! The crowd laughs and gives a noise of assent, leading Indy to give chase to Jakob! Furis looks scared shitless and begins running backstage, knocking over Marquis in the process. Indy chases them both as Devil Goose seemingly slinks under the ring and disappears in a poof of red smoke. As security manages to calm the situation down, we go into a brief intermission period to mark the first half of the show being (mercifully) over.
Intermission period consists of a lot of stretching and purchasing at the re-stocked merchandise table. New items include a new (and I mean, printed in the last five minutes) Furis shirt with "Blind as a bat" on the front and "Nothing to fear but Furis itself" on the back. We're also shown a prototype of a Kyle Walker shirt that says: "He's not in UBL yet, really!". Surprisingly that ominously vague shirt sold like hotcakes, people LOVE living in the future! A new (likely-infringing) cartoon shirt themed to OrochiGeese displays "It's hunting season" on the front and on the back shows Elmer Fudd's body, with OG's head, holding a gun that is pointed at a Bugs Bunny body sporting a Twinky McLanahan Head. Next we have a new Jason Hyde shirt that says on the front: "You can't Hyde from Jason." and on the back: ""You can't Hyde from justice." Our final shirt is quite stylish on the front with just a picture of Centurion's empty helmet and on the back the phrase: "All roads lead to jobbing." Poor guy.
Intermission ends as the Roman Centurion begins making his way to the ring. He sighs as the crowd, many of which donning his new shirt, engages in hurtful catcalls. He that he is merely trying to uphold the values of Rome. Of course since he says this in Latin, the crowd doesn't have the foggiest idea of what he's babbling about until he says "Roma", which prompts a "Power & Glory" chant. Finally Centurion resigns himself to getting into the ring and awaiting his opponent, Johnny Brooke. Simply enough right? WRONG.
INTERRUPTION! WE HAVE A SURPRISE GUEST!!
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*The crowd is in shock at sight of the knocked out Centurion! Actually, let me rephrase that! The crowd is not even remotely surprised at the fact that UBL's resident job boy has been run over yet again. But the crowd IS in a buzz over the fact that surprise guest and the current FPN MDWF World Champion, Gene Starr, was the one to do it! Gene has invaded this Open show and just beat up one one of the wrestlers in the next match with his Vagabond Kick RIGHT in front of UBL Sergeant Drake Yoshida! Drake looks at Gene and then back to Centurion, then back at Gene. He shrugs and grabs a microphone.*
[Drake:] "Fine, obviously you are a superior fighter to Centurion. Do you want to take his place in the next ma-"
Gene picks up his MDWF Championship back up and grabs a mic.*
[Gene:] My name is Gene Starr, and I am the MDWF Champion. And if you don’t know me, that sounds like it’s your problem. Now, about a month ago, I was flippin’ through channels, and I happened across this UBL show. The guys talked and talked about how UBL is supposed to have the best wrestlers from all over the world, all fighting to be the top guy, and it irks me because, you know what? I don’t remember getting a call to join in on the festivities. Add all this talk about the Universal Champion, the “one true Champion in professional wrestling”, but there isn’t a single guy on the entire show that is a Champion! That’s when I decided, hey, I’m a Champion - I’m the MDWF Champion, and bored as hell at that. I’m going to crash this UBL party. I’m going to show these clowns what a Champion really is. I’m hereby declaring myself the UBL Champion, and if there’s anybody that has a problem with that, I certainly hope you’re going to put up more of a fight than Mr. 300 down here.
*Gene points disparagingly toward Centurion, then returns to the center of the ring.*
[Gene:] As my first act as UBL Champion, I’m going to make a match for myself. I’m going to replace Mr. 300 in his match, and kick off my reign as UBL Champion with a stirring contest against... uh... Whoever the hell it was."
*Johnny Brooke has come out during this scene and is walking up to the ring, grinning at the downed Centurion. He does not appear intimidated at all by Gene Starr and walks up the ring steps nonchalantly with a poised look on his face. Gene looks as, if not more, cocky then Johnny and it looks like we have a battle between two guys who have no shortage of confidence or mixed martial arts skills! Let's see what that leads to!*
Match #4: Gene Starr vs. Johnny Brooke
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A victory for Gene Starr, that's what it leads to. Gene Starr who is, arguably, at the top of his career right now, was able to fend off the tough rookie, Johnny Brooke. However, Johnny looked pretty impressive against the current reigning FPN Champion, a long time force in the wrestling world. In the end, it was Gene Starr utilizing an impressive ground assault, culminating in a rolling choke that forced Johnny to tap out. But as tough a loss as it is for Johnny, this is the best kind of learning experience a new wrestler can have. That is because Johnny just faced someone who has a similar style but has mastered the balance of using mixed martial arts and pro wrestling. But whether or not the cocky youngster learns from this experience, of course, is up to him.
Gene Starr (O) [Spinning Choke- 15:03] (X) Johnny Brooke
Gene Starr goes up to one of the audience members and grabs a "Brooke Broke Ya" shirt and then wipes his sweat with it, before throwing it into the ring right on Johnny! Gene then laughs and leaves the arena to a chorus of "You saw Star(r)s!" aimed at Johnny. A novel chant from an audience known for being at the cutting edge of immature name-based chanting! Good job fans!
And we're ready for our next match where the Canada Brothers face a team making a historic debut in the UBL: ARMADA. They are a legendary team that have made a name for themselves in NDP and now seek to prove themselves here in anticipation of the Battalion Tag League next year. Galcian and Ramirez come to the ring, flanked by Belleza (and fans, that's the "Desert" Lynx, not the "Dessert" Lynx! The distinction is lost on Mr. Figaro, that's for sure!). They get a huge welcoming ovation from the fans and look ready to take on the Canada Brothers, who put on an impressive effort against LRI at the previous show but fell just short. Let's see how these teams adapt to each other and how they plan on impressing UBL management to guarantee them a spot in the upcoming tag league. I'd suggest that winning this match would probably help!
Match #5- Canada Brothers vs. ARMADA
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And we now see why ARMADA has come so highly recommended, as they put on a clinic of a wrestling match! (the healthy kind of clinic!) Between Galcian with his technical wrestling and Ramirez with his blindingly fast all around skillset, it was difficult for the Canada Brothers to deal with the offensive onslaught at times. However, their effort should not be overlooked as they had one of their best matches ever but could not put ARMADA away. The final moments of the match were incredible as it looked as if Canada Doug might actually take the match with a powerslam, only for the pin to be broken up due to it being in the hostile ARMADA corner. Ramirez then fought off BOTH Canada Brothers, making good on his burst of fighting spirit by cinching in a painfull rolling kimura lock to counter a rear waistlock from Canada Doug. Doug had no choice but to tap out and ARMADA marches militantly on to their first victory in the UBL!
Galcian/Ramirez (O) [Rolling kimura lock - 30:13] (X) Canada Bob/Canada Doug
And it is now time for our main event! This match has been in the making for months now, ever since the weeks preceding the announcement of the UBL back in April. It was Thunder Strike who brought Jang Bae into the UBL. But before that, it was Jang who invaded an OG-FPD Voltage show to help Thunder Strike against OrochiGeese. And that encounter led to a tag match between Thunder Strike and Jang Bae against OG's henchman, Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde. Jang pinned Clyde with an axe kick and ever since then, the two men have been trying to one-up each other in one on one competition. Mr. Clyde won the first two matches but just barely managed to keep the ever-improving Jang Bae down. And at our previous Open show, Jang won an Orochigon cage match against Mr. Clyde, a feat that no one thought possible. Mr. Clyde was known as the best striker in Orochi Army and for him to lose to Jang Bae was a significant morale blow and one that gave Jang the upper hand despite having lost the two peevious matches. However, Mr. Clyde took it in stride and immediately accepted Jang Bae's challenge for a final fight.
Both men wanted this fight to be as decisive as possible, so they originally agreed to a "best two out of three" falls match for tonight. However, earlier in the evening, their minds were changed by their assigned referee for the night. Anji Yukyuzan, a referee that made an immediate impact during his debut during the previous show, convinced them that a "Last Man Standing" match would be the way to go. That is because they already had, in effect, wrestled three matches up to now and yet they didn't prove decisive. (since they STILL want to wrestle now!). Whereas a "Last Man Standing" match would be the perfect final battle that only a true warrior would emerge victorious from. So each man agreed to the new stipulations under the condition that Anji would let them fight until the other one had nothing left.
Jang Bae comes to the ring first, met with a large ovation from the crowd. He looks a lot less jovial then usual and appears to be deep in meditation. He even ignores Figaro throwing beer at him and merely continues walking to the ring. Meanwhile, Figaro tearfully laments the loss of his beer. Mr. Clyde comes to the ring next and is met with Figaro chanting loudly and boisterously for him. He is followed by OrochiGeese, making his first appearance tonight. However, Geese doesn't go to his usual seat: instead he chooses to survey the action from the entrance ramp. And action is exactly what we are about to have, as the two men in the ring nod quickly to each other, touch gloves, and get into fighting stances! We're ready for the main event, folks!
Match #6 - Last Man Standing: Jang Bae vs. Mr. Clyde
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Jang Bae has done it!! After enduring a painful assault on his arm by Mr. Clyde, who rendered it almost useless, Jang uses his deadly kicking power to put this match away. He sealed it with special axe kick finisher, a move that Alicia Gordon helped Jang adapt for the wrestling ring. Mr. Clyde fought hard but Jang finally rose above his abilities and defeated Mr. Clyde by pinfall in a pro wrestling ring, something that Jang had been trying to do ever since the first Open show. Jang Bae has officially won his first fued in the UBL, and there is no doubt that many wrestlers backstage will have quite a surprised reaction at how quickly Jang has "learned the ropes" in the wrestling ring. Just as there is no doubt that many viewers will be disappointed that I used such a bad pun!
Jang Bae (O) ["Running w/ Scissors" - 14:49] (X) Mr. Clyde
Out of the many UBL wrestlers, OrochiGeese is the first to react to Jang's ascension, but does so in somewhat surprising fashion. Rather then rush the ring out of revenge for Clyde's loss, OG turns around quickly and storms backstage with a scowl on his face. Had he stayed around longer, he may have noticed the two new members of the crowd that joined the audience during this match. We see that two seats in the section of the crowd opposite from Figaro and Kyle, had been taken by Thunder Strike and Alicia Gordon!. Mr. Figaro spots them after the match and immediately holds Kyle back. Kyle doesn't realize why until he follows Figaro's uncharacteristically steely gaze across the aisle. Immediately upon seeing Alicia, Kyle's expression turns hostile as he is now looking at the woman who made public her intentions to cripple his sister. Thunder Strike stares at Kyle and attemps to read his expression while Kyle's body is practically frozen in anger and tension.
But before Kyle has a chance to act, Thunder Strike and Alicia jump the rail and roll into the ring to celebrate with Jang. Kyle then storms backstage, in a manner that certainly is reminiscent of Geese's behavior just a few moments earlier. Mr. Figaro waits a few seconds for Clyde to leave the ring...but there is a delay. That is because Clyde walks slowly up to Jang Bae and extends his hand. Thunder Strike looks absolutely stunned that a member of Orochi Army would behave so respectfully, but Alicia doesn't appear surprised at all. Jang bows his head to Clyde and shakes his hand, who bows in response. Clyde then leaves the ring and joins Figaro as the two walk backstage. Figaro is patting Clyde on the back and appears more understanding and mature then usual, at least until he suddenly gropes some woman with the hand he was using to pat Clyde's back, eliciting a sigh from Clyde and a laugh from Figaro. The show ends with Jang, Alicia, and Thunder Strike celebrating in the ring as Jang Bae celebrates his first official series victory in the UBL. Thank you for joining us for our fourth "Open". We'll see you in November for our next one and in just one week for the next round of matches for the almost complete Universal Champion League 2007!*
The fourth Open show has arrived in a way that can only be described as "unfashionably late!"
We fade into the arena where we see the fans abuzz with abuzzment and look to ringside. OrochiGeese is notably absent, likely due to the events of the previous few Singles League shows. Holly is also absent, likely due to paranoia (or is that legitimate FEAR) from an Alicia Gordon attack. However, Mr. Figaro is there...loudly. He is joined by Kyle Walker who is drinking a soda despite Figaro's attempts to "nut up" and have some beer. The crowd around them thanks Kyle for volunteering to be sober enough to calm down Figaro, if past shows are any indication of what could go wrong! As it is, Kyle has already prevented about five sexual harassment lawsuits by explaining the "kick in the nads means 'no' " philosophy to Figaro!
But in the next match, a kick in the nads may mean VICTORY! As we start tonight with the wily Mr. Pants taking on crowd-favorite Beenie the Bear in another BINGO-1 co-sponsored match! Of note is the fact that Mr. Pants and our referee for this match, Coach McGuirk, seem to be chatting a lot with each other before the match, making mention of "old times." Could this be a problem for Beenie the Bear or just a reference that only about three of our viewers will get!? Let's find out!!
Match #1: Mr. Pants vs. Beenie the Bear
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And the crowd is up on their feet yelling in protest at the apparent screwjob!! Some say that Coach McGuirk administered a fast count on that roll-up to get Mr. Pants the win! Others say, "No, no he didn't!" That is significantly less provocative though, they really need to come up with a better counter-chant! One thing for sure is that Mr. Pants was in danger from a big Beenie comeback! He had no choice but to stop Beanie's offensive momentum by rolling him up, and he had him down long enough for Coach to make the (quick?) count! Mr. Pants wins! The cat has beaten the bear! Is this a sign of the apocalypse to come!? Or merely the results of an odd wrestling match and possible catspiracy!? All 3!
Mr. Pants (O) [Roll-up Pin - 15:21] (X) Beenie the Bear
Our next match involves the much touted LRI (Los Rudos Infernos) making their second straight Open show appearance as they take on the Generation NEON team of Dwayne Reade and Ryan Wright. In previous weeks, both of these teams have defeated the Canada Brothers, a team that will be in action later tonight. But after some of the post match tension that occurred between these teams at the first Open show, this match is about more then just appearing to be the top tag team in the UBL in preparation for next year's Battalion Tag League. And that is because there is some personal animosity between Dwayne Reade and Stuart Robinson after Stuart made some catcalls to Reade's "friend" Ruby Moreno! But Stuart and Drawne's tag partners are here to remind them to do what's best for their teams and not worry about personal issues. VD Dod summed up that thought so eloquently that even Stuart had to stop and nod at his partner's amazing grasp of the english language. However, Stuart Robinson is known for being a bit hot-headed (as are his unfortunate opponents who get hit with Burnerbreakers and fire!) so we'll see if cooler heads can prevail bere or if we are in store for an all out brawl between two of the most promising teams in the UBL!
Match #2: GeNEON (Reade/Wright) vs. LRI (Stuart/VD Dod)
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The wily veterans of LRI were simply too much for the upstart geNEON. While geNEON did have their opportunities to put the match away, LRI was saavy enough to wiggle out of them and used their knowledge of "shenaniganism" to turn the match to their favor on multiple occasions. Eventually, after some inspired leg work, Stuart Robinson earned the victory for LRI by making the now-grounded luchadore Ryan Wright tap out.
VD Dod/Stuart Robinson (O) [Escargot - 21:04] (X) Ryan Wright/Dwayne Reade
LRI leaves the ring peacefully but not without taunting the beaten geNEON team and claiming that they have no shot at beating them in the UBL Battalion Tag League next year. Of course, this was said in "Stuart Robinson-ese," which means it was accompanied by words that elicited shock from even Mr. Figaro, who went on to cover Kyle Walker's ears. Kyle looked less amused at this action then the surrounding crowd members did and pulled away from Figaro so fast that Figaro's beer spilled onto Stuart Robinson who had been walking back down the aisle. Stuart got all up in their faces but VD Dod calmed him down with more words of wisdom. Once calmed down, Stuart picked up the beer and brought it back with him backstage, an act that did not go without notice by a now beerless and morally outraged Mr. Figaro.
However, any chance of him retaliating was quickly extinguished when the music for the first competitor of our next match played on the OrochiTron. Figaro's expression turned from murderous anger to that of comical glee, as "Trans-Transylvanian Orchestra" filled the arena with its aura of self-important, pseudo-intimidation horror. And it was followed by the master of horror, Jakob Furis!! Figaro quickly forgot about the near-brawl with LRI and focused his energy on laughing his literal arse off at the somewhat frightened and anxious Jakob Furis, who is set to compete in a triple threat match next against his opponent from the previous show, Marquis de Douleur, and the entity who interrupted their match, Devil Goose!
All parties eventually make it to the ring: the crowd cringing the most when Devil Goose made his entrance. Many in the crowd are heard to wonder: "If the Marquis is a mime who swears allegiance to satanic forces, why doesn't he bow to Devil Goose?" While others are heard to respond with their own question, "Screw the philosophy, why the HELL is this match even taking place!?" We will hopefully have some meaningful answer (or cop-out) to both questions as this match begins NOW! ... Well, more accurately, when Furis stops being a scaredy-cat and gets into the ring. He claims he was stretching but most fans saw that for what it was: his attempt to identify all exit routes if the upcoming situation calls for it. But Devil Goose manages to reach over the top rope and DRAG Furis into the ring, thereby starting the match!
Match #3: Jakob Furis vs. Marquis de Douleur vs. Devil Goose
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The Marquis du Douleur is the wrestler who is able to focus long enough to find his opportunity and turn it into a victory! Furis is perpetually confused and the Devil Goose appeared to care more about inflicting pain and suffering on his opponents then getting a victory in the match! But Marquis was able to parlay his mime juggling skills into that of handling two dangerous opponents and getting the win when his opportunity arose. Of course the fact that Jakob Furis looked on passively and, well, dumbfoundedly at the final second of the ref's count didn't hurt Marquis' situation, but it sure made for amusing chants from the audience!! Such as: "You really ARE a bat, fruitcake, BLIND as one!" (Furis delighted at the audience acknowledgement of his ability to turn into a bat, and simply ignored the punchline)
Some in the crowd merely thought that Furis was confused as to the rules of this triple threat, as perhaps he was expecting the "elimination" type rather then "one fall". But seeing as Furis didn't protest to the referee after the match was over, it's safe to say that Furis simply had no f'n clue what was going on at the end! Or perhaps more charitably, he simply wanted to get out of there as soon as possible while not being the one to take the loss himself! But if you ask most audience members, it's the former explanation as the latter gives him WAY too much credit!
Marquis de Douleur (O) [Savate kick -16:25] (X) Jakob Furis (X) Devil Goose
But even though the match is over, the fight does not cease! That is because Devil Goose is enraged at being the one to drop the fall and so continues his unholy onslaught on both Furis and Marquis! The three continue fighting and it's clear that the referee can not control the situation. Who will save the eyes and souls of the audience from sustained insanity!?
*Silence*
I SAID: "WHO WILL SAVE THE AUDIENCE AND DRIVE AWAY THE EVIL-DOERS!?"
WAIT A SECOND!? WHO IS THAT COMING FROM THE BACK!?
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What the hell!? It's Indy! Henry "Indy" James Jr! He has come down to the ring with what looks like a whip and chased away the three evil-doers! Furis scrambles to escape, as does Marquis. Devil Goose stays but gets whipped hard across the back and sqeals horrifically! But Indy doesn't stay around, rather he turns and points to Jakob Furis! The crowd laughs and gives a noise of assent, leading Indy to give chase to Jakob! Furis looks scared shitless and begins running backstage, knocking over Marquis in the process. Indy chases them both as Devil Goose seemingly slinks under the ring and disappears in a poof of red smoke. As security manages to calm the situation down, we go into a brief intermission period to mark the first half of the show being (mercifully) over.
Intermission period consists of a lot of stretching and purchasing at the re-stocked merchandise table. New items include a new (and I mean, printed in the last five minutes) Furis shirt with "Blind as a bat" on the front and "Nothing to fear but Furis itself" on the back. We're also shown a prototype of a Kyle Walker shirt that says: "He's not in UBL yet, really!". Surprisingly that ominously vague shirt sold like hotcakes, people LOVE living in the future! A new (likely-infringing) cartoon shirt themed to OrochiGeese displays "It's hunting season" on the front and on the back shows Elmer Fudd's body, with OG's head, holding a gun that is pointed at a Bugs Bunny body sporting a Twinky McLanahan Head. Next we have a new Jason Hyde shirt that says on the front: "You can't Hyde from Jason." and on the back: ""You can't Hyde from justice." Our final shirt is quite stylish on the front with just a picture of Centurion's empty helmet and on the back the phrase: "All roads lead to jobbing." Poor guy.
Intermission ends as the Roman Centurion begins making his way to the ring. He sighs as the crowd, many of which donning his new shirt, engages in hurtful catcalls. He that he is merely trying to uphold the values of Rome. Of course since he says this in Latin, the crowd doesn't have the foggiest idea of what he's babbling about until he says "Roma", which prompts a "Power & Glory" chant. Finally Centurion resigns himself to getting into the ring and awaiting his opponent, Johnny Brooke. Simply enough right? WRONG.
INTERRUPTION! WE HAVE A SURPRISE GUEST!!
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*The crowd is in shock at sight of the knocked out Centurion! Actually, let me rephrase that! The crowd is not even remotely surprised at the fact that UBL's resident job boy has been run over yet again. But the crowd IS in a buzz over the fact that surprise guest and the current FPN MDWF World Champion, Gene Starr, was the one to do it! Gene has invaded this Open show and just beat up one one of the wrestlers in the next match with his Vagabond Kick RIGHT in front of UBL Sergeant Drake Yoshida! Drake looks at Gene and then back to Centurion, then back at Gene. He shrugs and grabs a microphone.*
[Drake:] "Fine, obviously you are a superior fighter to Centurion. Do you want to take his place in the next ma-"
Gene picks up his MDWF Championship back up and grabs a mic.*
[Gene:] My name is Gene Starr, and I am the MDWF Champion. And if you don’t know me, that sounds like it’s your problem. Now, about a month ago, I was flippin’ through channels, and I happened across this UBL show. The guys talked and talked about how UBL is supposed to have the best wrestlers from all over the world, all fighting to be the top guy, and it irks me because, you know what? I don’t remember getting a call to join in on the festivities. Add all this talk about the Universal Champion, the “one true Champion in professional wrestling”, but there isn’t a single guy on the entire show that is a Champion! That’s when I decided, hey, I’m a Champion - I’m the MDWF Champion, and bored as hell at that. I’m going to crash this UBL party. I’m going to show these clowns what a Champion really is. I’m hereby declaring myself the UBL Champion, and if there’s anybody that has a problem with that, I certainly hope you’re going to put up more of a fight than Mr. 300 down here.
*Gene points disparagingly toward Centurion, then returns to the center of the ring.*
[Gene:] As my first act as UBL Champion, I’m going to make a match for myself. I’m going to replace Mr. 300 in his match, and kick off my reign as UBL Champion with a stirring contest against... uh... Whoever the hell it was."
*Johnny Brooke has come out during this scene and is walking up to the ring, grinning at the downed Centurion. He does not appear intimidated at all by Gene Starr and walks up the ring steps nonchalantly with a poised look on his face. Gene looks as, if not more, cocky then Johnny and it looks like we have a battle between two guys who have no shortage of confidence or mixed martial arts skills! Let's see what that leads to!*
Match #4: Gene Starr vs. Johnny Brooke
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A victory for Gene Starr, that's what it leads to. Gene Starr who is, arguably, at the top of his career right now, was able to fend off the tough rookie, Johnny Brooke. However, Johnny looked pretty impressive against the current reigning FPN Champion, a long time force in the wrestling world. In the end, it was Gene Starr utilizing an impressive ground assault, culminating in a rolling choke that forced Johnny to tap out. But as tough a loss as it is for Johnny, this is the best kind of learning experience a new wrestler can have. That is because Johnny just faced someone who has a similar style but has mastered the balance of using mixed martial arts and pro wrestling. But whether or not the cocky youngster learns from this experience, of course, is up to him.
Gene Starr (O) [Spinning Choke- 15:03] (X) Johnny Brooke
Gene Starr goes up to one of the audience members and grabs a "Brooke Broke Ya" shirt and then wipes his sweat with it, before throwing it into the ring right on Johnny! Gene then laughs and leaves the arena to a chorus of "You saw Star(r)s!" aimed at Johnny. A novel chant from an audience known for being at the cutting edge of immature name-based chanting! Good job fans!
And we're ready for our next match where the Canada Brothers face a team making a historic debut in the UBL: ARMADA. They are a legendary team that have made a name for themselves in NDP and now seek to prove themselves here in anticipation of the Battalion Tag League next year. Galcian and Ramirez come to the ring, flanked by Belleza (and fans, that's the "Desert" Lynx, not the "Dessert" Lynx! The distinction is lost on Mr. Figaro, that's for sure!). They get a huge welcoming ovation from the fans and look ready to take on the Canada Brothers, who put on an impressive effort against LRI at the previous show but fell just short. Let's see how these teams adapt to each other and how they plan on impressing UBL management to guarantee them a spot in the upcoming tag league. I'd suggest that winning this match would probably help!
Match #5- Canada Brothers vs. ARMADA
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And we now see why ARMADA has come so highly recommended, as they put on a clinic of a wrestling match! (the healthy kind of clinic!) Between Galcian with his technical wrestling and Ramirez with his blindingly fast all around skillset, it was difficult for the Canada Brothers to deal with the offensive onslaught at times. However, their effort should not be overlooked as they had one of their best matches ever but could not put ARMADA away. The final moments of the match were incredible as it looked as if Canada Doug might actually take the match with a powerslam, only for the pin to be broken up due to it being in the hostile ARMADA corner. Ramirez then fought off BOTH Canada Brothers, making good on his burst of fighting spirit by cinching in a painfull rolling kimura lock to counter a rear waistlock from Canada Doug. Doug had no choice but to tap out and ARMADA marches militantly on to their first victory in the UBL!
Galcian/Ramirez (O) [Rolling kimura lock - 30:13] (X) Canada Bob/Canada Doug
And it is now time for our main event! This match has been in the making for months now, ever since the weeks preceding the announcement of the UBL back in April. It was Thunder Strike who brought Jang Bae into the UBL. But before that, it was Jang who invaded an OG-FPD Voltage show to help Thunder Strike against OrochiGeese. And that encounter led to a tag match between Thunder Strike and Jang Bae against OG's henchman, Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde. Jang pinned Clyde with an axe kick and ever since then, the two men have been trying to one-up each other in one on one competition. Mr. Clyde won the first two matches but just barely managed to keep the ever-improving Jang Bae down. And at our previous Open show, Jang won an Orochigon cage match against Mr. Clyde, a feat that no one thought possible. Mr. Clyde was known as the best striker in Orochi Army and for him to lose to Jang Bae was a significant morale blow and one that gave Jang the upper hand despite having lost the two peevious matches. However, Mr. Clyde took it in stride and immediately accepted Jang Bae's challenge for a final fight.
Both men wanted this fight to be as decisive as possible, so they originally agreed to a "best two out of three" falls match for tonight. However, earlier in the evening, their minds were changed by their assigned referee for the night. Anji Yukyuzan, a referee that made an immediate impact during his debut during the previous show, convinced them that a "Last Man Standing" match would be the way to go. That is because they already had, in effect, wrestled three matches up to now and yet they didn't prove decisive. (since they STILL want to wrestle now!). Whereas a "Last Man Standing" match would be the perfect final battle that only a true warrior would emerge victorious from. So each man agreed to the new stipulations under the condition that Anji would let them fight until the other one had nothing left.
Jang Bae comes to the ring first, met with a large ovation from the crowd. He looks a lot less jovial then usual and appears to be deep in meditation. He even ignores Figaro throwing beer at him and merely continues walking to the ring. Meanwhile, Figaro tearfully laments the loss of his beer. Mr. Clyde comes to the ring next and is met with Figaro chanting loudly and boisterously for him. He is followed by OrochiGeese, making his first appearance tonight. However, Geese doesn't go to his usual seat: instead he chooses to survey the action from the entrance ramp. And action is exactly what we are about to have, as the two men in the ring nod quickly to each other, touch gloves, and get into fighting stances! We're ready for the main event, folks!
Match #6 - Last Man Standing: Jang Bae vs. Mr. Clyde
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Jang Bae has done it!! After enduring a painful assault on his arm by Mr. Clyde, who rendered it almost useless, Jang uses his deadly kicking power to put this match away. He sealed it with special axe kick finisher, a move that Alicia Gordon helped Jang adapt for the wrestling ring. Mr. Clyde fought hard but Jang finally rose above his abilities and defeated Mr. Clyde by pinfall in a pro wrestling ring, something that Jang had been trying to do ever since the first Open show. Jang Bae has officially won his first fued in the UBL, and there is no doubt that many wrestlers backstage will have quite a surprised reaction at how quickly Jang has "learned the ropes" in the wrestling ring. Just as there is no doubt that many viewers will be disappointed that I used such a bad pun!
Jang Bae (O) ["Running w/ Scissors" - 14:49] (X) Mr. Clyde
Out of the many UBL wrestlers, OrochiGeese is the first to react to Jang's ascension, but does so in somewhat surprising fashion. Rather then rush the ring out of revenge for Clyde's loss, OG turns around quickly and storms backstage with a scowl on his face. Had he stayed around longer, he may have noticed the two new members of the crowd that joined the audience during this match. We see that two seats in the section of the crowd opposite from Figaro and Kyle, had been taken by Thunder Strike and Alicia Gordon!. Mr. Figaro spots them after the match and immediately holds Kyle back. Kyle doesn't realize why until he follows Figaro's uncharacteristically steely gaze across the aisle. Immediately upon seeing Alicia, Kyle's expression turns hostile as he is now looking at the woman who made public her intentions to cripple his sister. Thunder Strike stares at Kyle and attemps to read his expression while Kyle's body is practically frozen in anger and tension.
But before Kyle has a chance to act, Thunder Strike and Alicia jump the rail and roll into the ring to celebrate with Jang. Kyle then storms backstage, in a manner that certainly is reminiscent of Geese's behavior just a few moments earlier. Mr. Figaro waits a few seconds for Clyde to leave the ring...but there is a delay. That is because Clyde walks slowly up to Jang Bae and extends his hand. Thunder Strike looks absolutely stunned that a member of Orochi Army would behave so respectfully, but Alicia doesn't appear surprised at all. Jang bows his head to Clyde and shakes his hand, who bows in response. Clyde then leaves the ring and joins Figaro as the two walk backstage. Figaro is patting Clyde on the back and appears more understanding and mature then usual, at least until he suddenly gropes some woman with the hand he was using to pat Clyde's back, eliciting a sigh from Clyde and a laugh from Figaro. The show ends with Jang, Alicia, and Thunder Strike celebrating in the ring as Jang Bae celebrates his first official series victory in the UBL. Thank you for joining us for our fourth "Open". We'll see you in November for our next one and in just one week for the next round of matches for the almost complete Universal Champion League 2007!*