Battle Formation 2011

[OrochiGeese]

- AND -



BATTLE FORMATION 2011 - "Get back in formation!"


*We fade into the Battle Chamber of the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena where streamers of blue, gold, red, and black are thrown into the ring as the fans erupt in excitement! The camera zooms close to the commentary booth at the edge of the entrance ramp where we see perennial announcer John Randolph and his new antagonist James Ward sitting and waiting for the fan clamor to calm down. John is wearing a white shirt with the "Get back in formation" tagline printed on it and James is wearing a black shirt with a red Jinchuu symbol.*

[John:] "Welcome fans-"

[James:] "What is this now, a fashion show? The cameras zoomed in on our clothes for a full ten seconds. You gonna tell the fans what 'designer' is behind this? Maybe ask John over here to put on some heels and slut himself down the catwalk?"

[John:] "I think that's strut."

*James smacks his own forehead.*

[James:] "Yeah I guess you know your line of work better then I do. Congrats, sweet cheeks."

[John:] "Uh...well fans, you have correctly tuned into Battle Formation-"

[James:] "Sucks for them. They just missed the adult movies by like two channels. That only takes 10 minutes for everyone to have a good time and finish. But now they'll have to watch you suck UBL and Kirin off for like two hours and make a mess of your dignity."

[John:] "I'm not sure Kyle Walker would prefer you to tell the fans to watch adult movies."

[James:] "If it put this piece of shit promotion out of business, he'd personally buy hand lotion for everyone who needed it."

[John:] "Great. Well fans, Drake has asked me to keep my comments brief tonight so we can focus on the matches."

[James:] "Glad to see he's already raised one white flag and let Jinchuu get away with what it wants."

[John:] "Quite the contrary, you'll have much more trouble convincing people to stop watching our promotion, and pro wrestling in general, when we can show off our best asset. And that is our fierce in ring competition. Let's get right to it. We start tonight-"

[James:] "We've started tonight with me punking you out and we'll continue and end on that note."

[John:] "We start tonight with the first Kirin Dojo match on the show which pits Joachim against Bai Hu."

[James:] "Bai who?"

[John:] "Nope, not biting on that."

*James smacks John in the back of the head and John sighs.*

[John:] "Bai who?"

[James:] "That's more like it. Gotta have a sense of humor to wallow in this level of sh*t every month."

[John:] "Bai Hu is one of the toughest men in professional wrestling and has a sense of humor on his own. Ever heard of a 'foot farmer', James?"

*James looks at John with as disgusted an expression as humanly possible.*

[James:] "Keep your fetishes to yourself, you disgusting son of a bitch."

[John:] "No, no, it's the setup to a joke. Cause Bai Hu would say that he'd plant his foot so far up-"

*James places his hands over his ears.*

[James:] "Stop right there. Damnit Drake, you let this deviant on the air?"

[John:] "You were the one urging the fans to watch pornography! I was only saying-"

[James:] "I set a man on fire and everyone's all offended but you tell us what sick things you and Thai ladyBai Hu do in your spare time-"

[John:] "I guess you don't want to hear about his 'magical murder pants' either..."

[James:] "As long as he keeps them on, I don't care."

[John:] "Good. His opponent tonight is simply named Joachim."

[James:] "You gonna let us in on what turns him on too?"

[John:] "Well the only 'quirky' thing we know about Joachim is that he tends to wrestle while already bleeding."

[James:] "These Kirin sickos disgust me. I blame Japan."

[John:] "And what is that supposed to mean?."

[James:] "I lived in Japan for five years with UBL and you can't watch TV there without seeing a tentacle."

[John:] "They do have an extensive marine biology funding there-"

[James:] "Bullsh*t."

[John:] "Before we start an international incident, it appears that Bai Hu is coming to the ring first. This man is one of Athrin's allies in FPCPP."





[James:] "Big surprise to see the owner's friend get a spot and big PPV paycheck tonight. Athrin's a lot like Geese: A selfish prick who buys into his own hype and thinks the world revolves around and fears him. They both help undeserved allies get spots that others earned. You saw me beat Geese in January and I could have done it years ago but Drake, Geese, and Thunder Shit always kept me down. I never got my fair chances in UBL until I made them here and then suddenly I'm the bad guy for taking my spot by force. Athrin plays favorites too. And it's only a matter of time before he and his loser friends get what's coming to them just like Geese did."

[John:] "Bai Hu is one of the most feared warriors in Kirin Dojo and FPCPP and a perennial #1 contender to the FPCPP World Title."

[James:] "Always the bridesmaid, never the bride."

[John:] "He brings with him an explosive moveset full of dangerous suplexes and knock out level strikes. James, this isn't some punk you're talking about. Bai Hu can do serious damage and I wouldn't suggest you raise his ire."

[James:] "I ain't trying to 'raise' anything of his after what you said before about his fetishes..."

[John:] "Right. Great. Well, next we have Joachim slowly walking to the ring."





[James:] "Whoopdee f*cking doo. Look at 'em walk ever so slowly. Cause its definitely worthy of camera attention."

[John:] "What's worthy is the sense of focus in his eyes. According to a reporter friend of mine in Kirin Dojo, Joachim is looking for his path in life. In fact, it's quite interesting that he has ended up on tonight's show given past comments he has made regarding UBL and a certain ally of yours."

[James:] "Jinchuu, especially Jakob, are 'vell' avare of his comments. We saw Joachim blow out his birthday candles or whatever the f*ck he was trying to do. Were we supposed to get scared? Furis is a f'n vampire, he ain't afraid of the dark! You really gonna freak out Furis?!"

[John:] "And the rest of you weren't concerned?"

[James:] "Kyle and I are grown-ups, Jason too. Plus Hyde won't even comment on bullsh*t like that cause he's totally focused on winning money matches for us. So whatever the f*ck Joachim thought he was pulling, he should put it back in his magical murder pants."

[John:] "Actually, it's Bai Hu who has those-"

[James:] "ENOUGH. Now why the hell is this match happening?"

[John:] "Athrin has suggested to Drake that whoever wins this will gain contention status for the King of Kirin Title. So each man better be at his best-"

[James:] "We get it already. Cut the shit. Just get to the ring."

[John:] "I think we will do just that. Should be a great start to the action tonight."




Match #1: Joachim vs. Bai Hu


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[James:] "Looks like Bai Hu's perv crop is sufferin' a drought."

[John:] "Joachim just wrestled the match of his career to defeat Bai Hu. I had no idea he was capable of wrestling at this level so early in his career and the fans seem just as shocked about his performance and victory. All indications pointed to Bai Hu taking this match with relative ease to start the show but Joachim elevated his abilities far beyond what was expected of him."

[James:] "So you being stupid and making a bad prediction is what just took you an hour to say?"

[John:] "Joachim wins this match with the dragon sleeper which he calls 'Dreams' but not after fighting off some near debilitating suplexes from Bai Hu and going toe to toe with one of the toughest men in this business. A win well earned."

Joachim (O) ["Dreams" - 22:44] (X) Bai Hu


*Joachim politely asks for a microphone as Bai Hu goes backstage.*

[Joachim:] "*Takes a deep breath* It is an honor for me to share a step on my life's path with the warrior, Bai Hu. He fought valiantly and will grow from this experience as I hope I will. Our only shame was having to do it in this arena."

*The fans' cheers turn to boos but Joachim holds his hands up in protest.*

[Joachim:] "I mean no disrespect to all of my dear friends watching this, nor to my brothers on the UBL roster who consistently put on their best efforts to entertain you. Rather, I empathize with what you've all had to endure over the last few months due to the disgrace known as Jinchuu."


[James:] "His 'Dreams' gonna turn to nightmares if he keeps this shit up."


[Joachim:] "What they have done to my dear friend Jang Bae will not go without punishment. Nor will the sheer existence of their ally, Jakob of Furis: an abomination of nature that can not be allowed to continue as is."


*At this point, Furis comes out from backstage and stalks his way to ringside with a smile on his face.*


[John:] "Why is Furis so happy here? He's getting insulted and threatened-"

[James:] "By a man who just wrestled for twenty minutes. Furis knows I'm out here too so Joachim just wrote his own eulogy."


[Joachim:] "Approach, vampire. I do not fear you. My blood is already protected by-"

*Joachim loosens up his wrist band and allows some blood to drain into the ring. Furis looks genuinely confused as to what Joachim is getting at."

[Joachim:] "Those who share my path."

*A massive man in the crowd with a blood-stained shirt steps over the guardrail and approaches the ring. James runs to back Furis up but his attempted punch is cut off by the longer reach of the crowd jumper's punch. James gets rocked to the ground and the man gets into the ring, staring at Furis.*





*Furis charges at the man and attempts a diving lariat but is caught in mid air and then heaved over the ropes outside the ring!*






[John:] "I'm not sure I've ever seen such power before."



[Joachim:] "You have much to ask forgiveness about, vampire. Jinchuu's 'judgment by man' shall fail, leaving you to be properly judged.

*Joachim clasps his hands in what appears to be a prayer.*

[Joachim:] "Our paths will cross again."


*Kyle Walker, Jason Hyde, and James (who finally staggers to his feet) run to the ring to surround Joachim and his ally as Furis struggles to get up. But Joachim merely smiles, goes down to his knees in prayer, and the arena lights suddenly go out for five seconds. When they come back on, Joachim and his ally are gone. Jinchuu pitch a fit and start throwing chairs as we quickly go to commercials.*


*Commercials air for the June Voltage and July Amplitude.*


*When we return, John is alone in the booth and looking relieved.*

[John:] "Well, I don't even know what to make of that. I haven't seen anyone so forcefully get the better of Jinchuu and though they weren't out in full force, both Furis and my broadcast colleague were handled rather easily by one man. Who that man is and what the specifics of his connection to Joachim are remains a total mystery. But it's clear that with the ability and resilience of Joachim combined with the size and strength of his friend, this is going to be an interesting duo for Kirin Dojo to watch. And perhaps one day by UBL fans if Joachim does indeed cross paths with Jinchuu again.

Well, at least I now get the opportunity to show the fans the entire card for tonight. As those remember from the May Circuit Show, James Ward isn't so happy about 'indulging' in such behavior as informing everyone who will wrestle on a given night."


*The BattleTron turns on to show the card for the evening.*

1) Joachim vs. Bai Hu
2) Lone Spacewolf vs. Kirin Rider vs. ? ?
3) UBL NEXUS Championship: Daddy Prime Time vs. Markus Caesaro (c)
4) Universal Battalion Championship: Team ReLoad (Sonny X/REDD) vs. Jinchuu (Jason Hyde/Kyle Walker) (c)
5) Rookie Battle Royale: RYOMA, Great Budo, Mickey Revell, Dean Annay, Yoshimaru Hazuki, Zukamikudo, Venom, and Leiji Kikusan
6) King of Kirin World Championship: Tiger Sword vs Athrin (c)


[John:] "And now it's time to continue the show and get to the next match, also hosted by Kirin Dojo. This will be a triple threat match and we know two of the participants: Kirin Rider and Lone Spacewolf. Both of these men are huge favorites of the Kirin fans which is why they were chosen to represent their promotion here. And Kirin Rider comes to the ring first."





[John:] A LOT of applause for the man who bears the name of the promotion! And next out comes Lone Spacewolf. A lone wolf...in space. Can you hear the cry of a wolf in space? You probably couldn't hear a space cougar til it was too late."





[John:] "And now we're all anxious to see who the third wrestler will be. I've heard he is someone who is making their return not only to Kirin Dojo but also to UBL. However, this is more of a Kirin match cause he didn't spend much time in UBL, according to Drake.





[John:] "It's Tyler Alexander! The man formerly known by UBL fans as Machete, part of the Warriors Max stable! Tyler has already returned to FPCPP and now he makes his re-debut in Kirin and soon in UBL. Let's see what he can do on his return!"



Match #2: Kirin Rider vs. Lone Spacewolf vs. Tyler Alexander


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[John:] "It took me a second to realize why Tyler was just standing there but I'm not sure he was told that this was a one fall triple threat match as opposed to elimination. Had this match been under elimination rules, he did the right thing in letting Kirin Rider get pinned. Somehow he got misinformed but I'll tell you fans, that was an incredible match. The high flying moves and creative suplexes these men pulled were very impressive. If this is what the junior scene looks like in Kirin Dojo, it's no wonder they have such passionate fans! The UBL crowd is giving all three men a standing ovation as well. Tyler looks frustrated but appreciates the reaction and all three men shake hands.


Lone Spacewolf (O) ["Wolf Splash" - 21:50] (X) Kirin Rider (-) Tyler Alexander



[John:] "And folks, I think we're headed towards an intermission. Wait...no? I'm getting word that one may be scheduled but...frankly, I'm kind of confused. Please bear with me, I'm going to try to get word from backstage as to what is going on."



The show seems to almost stop in its tracks at this point. There is nothing but a looped UBL logo playing on the titantron above the stage as the camera pans throughout the crowd aimlessly in wait. Fans in the arena have enjoyed this brief reprieve from the exciting and intense matches that have lead up to this point, but are now becoming restless as they await the next scheduled match or segment.

They aren't forced to wait long, as K parts the curtains and steps out onto the stage.



He walks down the ramp toward the ring somewhat stiff and ploddingly, not to his entrance theme, "Dancing Mad," but to the reactions of surprised fans, most of whom recognize him from other promotions. Then there are the confused fans, who haven't a clue as to his identity. After entering the ring, he is handed a microphone by one of the UBL ringside staff, which he snatches away annoyedly, indicating that this is indeed a scheduled segment on the card. K settles in a corner leaning against the turnbuckles. He holds the microphone up to his mouth, taking in the crowd reaction before speaking.

[K:] "Me? K. Here? UBL. Why? Ceese."

K laughs quietly to himself as a smile develops along the edges of his mouth. He seems to be alone in this, with the joke being completely lost on the bewildered audience.

[K:] "That's what I had originally planned to say here before my allotted time was extended. It was nice and short, possibly with a hint of unnecessary bitterness, but it got the point across. However, I've got no problem entertaining you with the full version."

Many in the crowd are opposed or apathetic towards the idea yet they stay attentive to discover what this has to do with Julian Caesaro.

[K:] "After our match at the last FPCPP PPV, I told you there were no hard feelings. I meant it. There's no doubt that I lost the match, but I gained so much more than what a simple 'W' on my record could have granted; one of those things being the attention of various promoters such as Drake Yoshida. We've actually been in contact for months discussing my signing here. And isn't it funny that I'd wait all this time when I could have debuted months ago? Yes, because it's another reason for me saying what I did, Ceese. Despite my original loss, the door was already open for me to beat you in UBL, to gain total victory just for the hell of it.

You've called me out before so now I'll do the same. See, the 'Royale God of UBL' *Snicker* owes me a rematch...or maybe he doesn't. Either way I'm here to collect and I will collect. Which brings me to something else. I was beaten by Dragon Royale, the fan favorite that supposedly stuck up for Elwood Allen's honor, who would then go on to become the Royale Emperor; a no-nonsense, self serving man with no regard for the people around him. At the same time this man is in UBL, surrounding himself with a group of dumbass sheep as he attempts to play god by passing his championship belt around."

K palms one side of his face in an attempt to contain his laughter, but he soon begins cackling uncontrollably. He falls down to a seated position, leaning his head against the 2nd turnbuckle and quickly regains composure.

[K:] "Astounding hypocrisy aside, the gist of all this is that it won't really matter who you decide to be this time or who you surround yourself with. I can get to you, Julian. Something you know better than anyone which is why I'm telling you in advance. Know that I don't await your answer to my challenge, I expect it, and I am prepared for it. As for the rest of you..."

He makes two quick left to right glances of the arena.

[K:] "...and the entire UBL locker room, if you only take away one thing from what you've just seen, heard, or flat out ignored completely, please let it be this: I am here...to stay. "

K tosses the mic somewhere off screen. "Dancing Mad" plays as he makes the 'UBL Love' handsign and kisses it to the camera before sliding underneath the bottom rope, exiting the ring.*






[John:] "Wow, I'm floored. K has joined the UBL roster and has Julian Caesaro squarely in his sights. For those unfamiliar with K's work, the man has had one of the most dominant years ever seen since he scrapped his "Ultimate K" mask and persona. And one of this first victims was Julian: whose leg K brutalized. The two fought but K was not entirely satisfied with how things ended and has followed Julian here. It's clear that K doesn't care who Julian is aligned with or whether he accepts the fans or not, K wants to take him out.

A further wrinkle in this story is that K actually helped train Julian's brother, Markus. the two were very close in FPCPP's "League of Justice" group and they still seem to share a mutual respect. Considering Markus was recently appointed as Julian's NEXUS Title representative and K is now here, how will Markus fit into things? That much is unclear and it's probably best for Markus to not worry too much about it tonight given the states of our next match.

Markus has to defend the NEXUS Title against Daddy Prime Time. Not only is this Markus' first Title defense, but he's doing it against a man who has collected championships all around the world. A man who has a lot of enmity with Markus' brother and would love to claim this title for his own. But also a man who recently suffered a loss as his tag team partner and friend, Sonic Death, recently passed away. DPT has a lot on his mind much as Markus does. And you can see some of that tension on DPT's face as he comes down to ringside. It would be a huge moment in his career to return to UBL and win the title but he's gotta be thinking about Sonic as well. Of note is that this is actually DPT's first shot at the NEXUS Title so you know he's excited for the opportunity despite the dark cloud over the match. He had to earn this in a very personal series against Dambman that spanned over a year and then an incredibly tough match against Corey O'Brian."





[John:] "The fans don't always like him but they seem to be throwing their support behind DPT tonight. Whether out of respect for his loss, his renewed spirit, or the fact that Markus Caesaro is loved by very few people, DPT is the fan's choice tonight. But that doesn't faze Markus as he walks down to ringside with the same icey demeanor as always."





[John:] "A few fans have recently asked me why Markus still wears his mask despite finally being identified. The Corruptor was a moniker to keep himself under the radar but we know who he is so why still don the mask? The answer is that one of the reasons he has been so dominant and cold-blooded over the last year is due to being buried alive in FPCPP at the hands of a man named Four Skulls. Skulls is allied with Athrin and Bai Hu. So there's absolutely no kind feelings between the co-host of tonight's show and this man right here. Markus emerged a new man, with a monstrous face, and he wears the mask for that reason.

Folks, the Universal Battle League NEXUS Championship is now on the line. Two very qualified wrestlers will go to war as the technical and strike-heavy, DPT faces the power brawler, Markus Caesaro. What will it take to win this match? We'll find out now."



Match #3: UBL Nexus Championship:

Daddy Prime Time vs. Markus Caesaro (c)


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[John:] "That was an interesting and somewhat surprising ending. You don't expect to see Markus attempt a move like that to finish a match but the reality is that the man has so much muscle mass that it practically crushes you to get caught under him from that height. DPT gave it his best shot and I'll be damned if I didn't think he had this on a few occasions. But Markus simply wanted this more, whether to prove to his brother, the fans, or himself that he deserves the Championship after being handed it. DPT has had some of the most impressive victories in UBL since 2009 but he could not get the better of Markus tonight. And my guess is that it will be a while before anyone else does either."


Daddy Prime Time (X) [Diving Body Press - 16:24] (O) Markus Caesaro




*James Ward comes back to ringside with a scowl and a big red mark on his face.*

[John:] "Uh, not trying to be start trouble but are you ok?"

*James looks at John with a blank expression and then shrugs his shoulders with a confused look. He gets in John's face, barking at him.*

[James:] "Why the F*CK would you care?"

*John backs up and puts his hands up in surrender.*

[John:] "Ok, I guess I don't. Never mind then. So I guess you're back out to watch your allies in their Title match."

[James:] "You realize that cause you finally got to show everyone the card?"

[John:] "You...you saw that?"

[James:] "No, I just assumed you couldn't resist."

[John:] "Well it's now time to talk about the Universal Battalion Championship match."

[James:] "No, it's not time to talk about it. It's time to have it."

[John:] "Once each team gets to the ring, I won't be able to stop them. But the fans want to know-"

[James:] "Too f*ckin bad. F*CK the Kirin fans, the UBL fans, the Japanese fans, the American fans. F*ck them all and F*CK you."

[John:] "You don't even want to hear me talk about Jinchuu?"

[James:] "No, keep your damn words to yourself. Just let these teams walk to the ring and fight. If I have to listen to one more weasely word from you, I swear I'm gonna snap you in half. Shut your mouth and watch what real men do: fight, not talk."

*John gulps and remains silent Meanwhile, Sonny X and REDD, collectively Team ReLoad, come down to ringside to great cheers.*





[James:] "And here's the Champs, Jason Hyde and Kyle Walker. Champions of Jinchuu, f*Ck the Battalion Titles. They only keep them cause it pisses people off that we have them. And it's gonna really piss Parorochiplegeesic off when Kyle and Jason crush Sonny X in their first try. Geese never beat Sonny and these two are gonna do it here tonight. There's your buildup, there's the glory of Jinchuu, and there's your Champions."





[James:] "And here comes the beat down."


Match #4: Universal Battalion Championship:

Team Reload (Sonny X/Redd) vs. Jinchuu (Jason Hyde/Kyle Walker) (c)


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[James:] "I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU SONS OF BITCHES!"

[John:] "Not only did Kyle beat his enemies' rival, he made him pass out."

[James:] "Kyle f*cked him up! He bust him open and took him out!"

[John:] "Kyle split Sonny's forehead open with a knuckle punch. It's hard to tell if he had an illegal object in his hand. As Sonny started bleeding, Kyle took advantage by literally squeezing the blood and life out of his head causing him to pass out. And you have to give Jason credit for not only breaking up that German suplex pin earlier, but stopping REDD before he could break up Kyle's hold."

Redd/Sonny X (X) [Buffalo Sleeper - 24:43] (O) Kyle Walker/Jason Hyde

[James:] "Damn straight you have to give Jason credit! He's our blue chipper, our trump card. Kyle was the man with the Jinchuu plan but Jason is our designated hitter in that ring. That's why he won the Titles for us in March, he can beat anyone on this roster and anyone in the world. He's beaten Geese, Thunder Strike, and the 2007 Universal Champion, Jack Dod. He's the master of that ring, and don't you forget it. He even has a new Jinchuu inspired wardrobe to let Geese know who now wears the black, gold, and a certain symbol in that ring."

[John:] "I certainly wasn't taking anything away from Jason, who I concede has all the talent in the world. But I'll mention once more that Kyle has managed to fight off his opponent's strongest move with minimal effect. Sonny hit him with that trademark russian neck drop, the karelin lift-"

[James:] "Carolyn lift? Who the f*ck is Carolyn?"

[John:] "Alexandr Karelin, former Olympic legend from Russia."

[James:] "So when you aren't sucking off the Japanese, you cheer for the Russians during the Olympics? That's treason. You make me sick."

[John:] "The point I was making, Senator McCarthy, is that Kyle Walker took the neck drop and got up before Sonny could pin him. I don't know how he's doing this but this is now the third time after shrugging off the finishers of Thunder Strike and Marauder."

[James:] "The only finisher in this fed is Jinchuu. We're putting an end to UBL and one of it's final chapters were just written."

*Kyle and Jason walk backstage but James intercepts their path and lifts each man up on his shoulders (not at once) to celebrate. James barks to the crowd: "Where's your heroes now!?" Kyle smirks as Jason goes backstage. He is expressionless throughout this and the fans are still split in reaction to them. Kyle, on the other hand, is getting clear boos which he appears to relish. James returns to the commentary booth.*

[James:] "Well, that's it."

[John:] "What is?"

[James:] "ReLoad was clearly the only top contenders to us and now they're beaten. We won't give them another shot."

[John:] "While the match was competitive throughout, I agree that it was a decisive victory."

[James:] "Exactly. So who's next? All the teams ReLoad beat? Why waste our time with them. We just killed the division, Randolph."

[John:] "But styles make fights. Even though Jinchuu beat ReLoad, that doesn't mean they'll match up well with everyone else-"

[James:] "Bullsh*t. Styles don't make fights, men do. And we're the only men that can get sh*t done. There's no one that's gonna take us out and our next step is that NEXUS Title. Meanwhile, I guess we have to sit through more sh*tty matches. What do we got now? Some rookie match?"

[John:] "The Rookie Battle Royale was one of the fan's favorite matches at the last-"

[James:] "Enough! Yoshida already said what you did at the press conference. You keep repeating sh*t but if you really believed it, you'd just let the fans feel that way. Instead you have to dictate it to them over and over again. This whole business is lies and propaganda."

[John:] "Uh... so we'll have four men from Kirin Dojo-"

*James laughs in a dismissive fashion.*

[James:] "Nah, no men in Kirin Dojo. Just little boys who watch cartoons and want to be their favorite crazy super hero. Just deviants who watch tentacle sh*t. Just wrestlers who have to invent weird suplex variants cause they ain't got the strength to put you down with one punch.

Ever see a bar fight in Japan? No way, only in America, pal."


[John:] "Uh...yea? Bar fights? U-S-A, U-S-A?"

[James:] "The toughest men are here. I was in Japan for years and I hated every second of it. And being forced to sit and watch this bullsh*t and tolerate the asinine decisions of their Geese Jr. owner makes me physically nauseous. I have good mind to take it out on every tiny dude in the next match. Hell, maybe I should go backstage and beat the sh*t out of Athrin so we don't have to sit through some perverted Japanese death match."

*At this point, the curtains open but no music plays. Instead, this man calmly walks onto the stage and up to the announcing table.*





[John:] "We've been joined by Hanzori, the brother of Athrin and I'm not sure what-"

*Hanzori blows mist in James' face and then slaps the taste out of his mouth with a roundhouse shouda. James falls backward out of his seat and crashes on to the floor. Hanzori then walks up the ramp to the ring and beckons James to join him.*

[John:] "Taste the irony, A member of Jinchuu just insulted someone's family member and made them mad!"

*James gets on the ramp and is himself exploding with anger. He calls for Hanzori's execution and walks to the ring.*





[John:] "I think we have an impromptu match...or fight, more likely. But we do have a referee coming to the ring and it looks like war is about to break out! Let's see if it resembles a wrestling match!"


Match #5: Hanzori vs. James Ward


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[John:] "And when I said earlier that a war was about to break out, I had no idea that two actual armies would emerge to support their representatives! Athrin's Fuzen Tara Seitan stable backed up his brother Hanzori when Jinchuu, specifically Kyle Walker, tried to interfere in the match. And then it just went from bad to worse to weird as, of all people, Jakob of Furis was the voice of reason.

Let me repeat that. Jakob of Furis was instrumental in stopping violence.

I don't get it. I've seen a lot of crazy things in my time here but nothing is as inexplicable as that. This is a guy who instigated a failed attack on Joachim earlier, on top of the scores of people he's brutalized. But he stopped this fight by coming to an understanding with noted and literal hot head Vulcan Vesuvius. I'd love to try to analyze this but I can't. The only thing I can say is that all of us are lucky this fight stopped cause I have no doubt the fans would end up as collateral damage. Athrin against Kyle? Pardon my language but that's a batsh*t insane situation to envision.

And seeing as Athrin still has a death match scheduled for tonight, it's probably best for him that Vulcan and Furis reached an understanding or some non-aggression pact. Who knows. Considering how this fight started, it's a miracle it ended this peacefully.

Hanzori (-) [No Contest - 17:18] (-) James Ward


[John:] "Both groups are going backstage. Mercifully, James is as well as I'm sure he's tired from his match. I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize on behalf of UBL for all the ignorant and hateful things James said about Japan, Russia, and well, pretty much everything he's said. Considering our Sergeant is Japanese and our owner Orochi Geese considers Japan his second home, I assure you that the views expressed by James Ward are his and Jinchuu's alone. And well, he sure got what was coming to him in expressing those views."

Now, after that ugliness, let's get on with the show in the spirit of togetherness between Kirin Dojo and UBL...as they fight each other tooth and nail! Well, to be more accurate, all eight men in this match are actually fighting for their own interests. While there may be some promotional rivalry, I believe whoever wins will get a reward from their prospective promotion. And that should function as an incentive to win the match and eliminate anyone, regardless of what promotion they are in. I know that the UBL is offering a guaranteed shot at the Front Lines Field Leader Title to anyone on the UBL side that wins. I'm sure Kirin Dojo would reward one of their wrestlers with a similar prize.

As we have eight wrestlers here, we're just gonna get to the basic introductions and let their in ring performance speak for themselves. So let's first briefly recognize (in order of front to back) the UBL squad of RYOMA, Great Budo, Mickey Revell, and Dean Annay.




[John:] "And here are our very welcome visitors from Kirin Dojo: (also from front to back) Yoshimaru Hazuki, Zukamikudo, Venom, and Leiji Kikusan. Four very visually interesting competitors and I've heard they all have varied, expert skillsets, and rabid fanbases."





[John:] "Let's get to the ring and see who can win an honor and opportunity!"



Match #6: Interpromotional Rookie Battle Royale:


UBL: RYOMA, Great Budo, Mickey Revell, Dean Annay
Kirin Dojo: Yoshimaru Hazuki, Zukamikudo, Venom, Leiji Kikusan


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Kirin Wrestler DUO won the Battle Royale at our first combined show by defeating UBL wrestler Jasper Woodruff. Tonight, RYOMA defeated Leiji Kikusan in a match that saw even eliminations between the two promotions. And at the end, it looked like Leiji was going to take this match but somehow RYOMA powered out of the predicaments he was put in! Then he put the match away with the incredibly powerful "White Dawn" to earn himself an upcoming shot at the Field Leader Title. And while this may sound corny, the true winner really was the audience who got to witness this respectful but intense match between wrestlers of the two host promotions. Go fans! But none of you get Field Leader Title shots. Sorry.


RYOMA (O) ["White Dawn" - 28:06] (X) Leiji Kikusan


Order of Elimination: Yoshimaru Hazuki, Great Budo, Venom, Mickey Revell, Dean Annay, Zukamikudo, Leiji Kikusani. Winner: RYOMA.


[John:] "And now folks, provided we don't have any more impromptu appearances...."

*He waits a second and looks around but then goes on.*

[John:] "It is now time-"

*Marine's "Baron" suddenly plays on the speakers as Sir Arthur Wingate comes out with a smile and cordially bows to the crowd.*





[John:] "It is now time... to get interrupted again."

*Arthur grabs a microphone while the ring crew begin setting up the equipment necessary for the upcoming death match.*

[Arthur:] "Battle Formation: An occasion for both the Americans and Japanese to show the world their fighting spirit. But do recall that the British know a little something about warfare too: having been the clear dominant world power for centuries. And though our country, as a whole, has lost some of that military luster, there are those among us who have continued to evolve the art."

*Arthur smiles proudly*

[Arthur:] "You are all greatly privileged to be in the presence of such a man, an authentic British Knight.."

[John:] "I had those sneakers too, won them from a game show."

[Arthur:] "Although I have recently contracted with my half brother to abstain from interrupting 'his' shows, tonight is a special agreed upon exception. Drake has granted me these moments. while the proletariat set up the ring for some violent tomfoolery to conclude this evening, so that I could introduce a concept of real import to the Universal Battle League."

*At this point two men wearing medieval knight armor walk out to the stage. One is in front of the other and they are both supporting a heavy pole on their shoulders with a red cloth banner hanging between them. The banner has a black outline trim and in the middle contains gold writing that states: "The Arthur Wingate Invitational." They parade up and down the entrance ramp as Arthur claps at the banner with a proud expression.*

[Arthur:] "Such magnificence! Oh, to expound on such grandeur and watch you all gain inspiration and wonder from it!!"

*An actual tear runs down his cheek but he wipes it away and gathers himself.*

[Arthur:] "However, I remain quite vigilant against overloading the short attention span of Americans with too much information at once. So consider this lofty occasion a mere prelude to my next appearance this summer when I will reveal the exciting details. Until then, reflect on this occasion and keep it close to your heart. The world has indeed changed on this day and you were all here to witness it. In a way, I envy you."

*Arthur points forward and the two knights lead the way backstage as he walks behind them, waving to the audience who seem a bit annoyed.*


[John:] "Well if there's one art that particular Englishman is a master of, it's self-indulgence. But while he may have downplayed the importance and gravity of the next match, our main event, it is my job to set you all straight. And first, I shall do that with a stern warning. Parents, the next match will be exceedingly violent. The ropes are made of barbed wire and the entire ring is laced with C4 explosives for one very large planned conflagration. And that will be the exclamation point to what we know these two are capable of. So I urge you all to get young children, or those with weak stomachs away, from your television set or computer."

*A small warning screen is shown for a few seconds.*

[John:] "There, we now come to a match with four separate components. First is the utter violence of the match due to the barbed wire and C4. We have seen a lot of very brutal matches in UBL. Tiger Sword and Athrin Kazama, just 7 months ago at the OG-FPD Ragnarok show, had a landmine death match that put them both out of action for months afterward. But tonight's match promises to up the violence quotient to unacceptable levels. The type of levels that we saw during the Kyle Walker vs. Jeremiah Jones staple gun death match. A man can have his very face blown off in tonight's match. But to understand why this match is even happening, we have to turn to the second component: history.

Tiger Sword is Athrin's teacher and mentor. Or, at least, was that until Athrin shockingly turned against him in late 2009 and formed the Fuzen Tara Seitan stable to dominate UBL. Sword was injured for the better part of a year. But when he came back, with the true roar of a tiger, Athrin swore to take him out for good. The two have traded victories since, with Sword winning the first singles match and then Athrin winning the landmine match. Tonight is the third and final match according to Drake. He sees too much potential in both men to allow them to destroy themselves further. But will there be anything left after tonight to salvage? Hasn't this already gone too far?

Well if there is anything to salvage, Athrin will be bringing it to the ring with him. It is the third component of this match, the King of Kirin World Championship: the top Title in Kirin Dojo and a belt that Orochi Geese has been known to respect. Athrin has been a long time Champion and has put his Title on the line as the final piece of pride in this final battle. Sword isn't even in Kirin Dojo so this would be a huge coup for him to win this Title and fitting revenge for what Athrin did to him. But Athrin is the favorite in many fans' eyes due to his advantage in matches based around violence. We saw how comfortable he was in the Landmine death match and while Sword made a spectacular comeback, Athrin had the match under control for the majority of the time. However, Sword is also a tremendously intelligent wrestler and adapts well to his opponents and surroundings so I think he may have learned a lot from the last match with Athrin. And here he is, coming to the ring right now.

Athrin requested that this song be the official song of the main event so it is actually playing in lieu of the entrance themes of both men here. Athrin felt this theme represented the rivalry these two men have had and Sword appears fine coming down to it."




[John:] "Of further significance is what Sword doesn't have with him, his FPCPP World Championship. The fourth component of this match is that both men are currently holding the two coveted singles titles in the FPCPP promotion. Sword is the World Champion there and Athrin is the Anarchy Champion, So there is that further matter of Title vs. Title pride in front of FPCPP fans and wrestlers who are no doubt watching tonight. But neither man will bring those belts to the ring due to FPCPP refusing to allow them near potential explosions. A wise move given what can happen in UBL. if people can get set on fire, so can belts. Speaking of fire, I wonder if Vulcan Vesuvius has given his stablemate Athrin any tips on how to deal with burns. While we ponder that unpleasant question, here comes Athrin."





[John:] "The two waste no time in getting at it! Athrin ran down the ramp and Sword was in his face the second he got into the ring! Here we go!"



Match #7: King of Kirin Championship: (HD Version)

Exploding Death Match: Tiger Sword vs. Athrin Kazama (c)


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[John:] "The referee has called for the bell, declaring this match a draw. Medics are rushing to the ring as are members of Fuzen Tara Seitan to check on Athrin. Koji Keo'ke, Mark Spirals, and his Gen X allies are doing their part to protect and check on Sword.

Folks, no one expected a second explosion here. I'm not sure I've ever even heard of that happening in this kind of match. One blast is usually all it takes to finish the match and force a winner, especially as late as it occurred here. But both men somehow held on and kept fighting, only for a second blast to rock the ring and render them both unconscious.

Tiger Sword (-) [Draw - 20:00] (-) Athrin Kazama


[John:] "This was a true war, totally deserving of the main event on a show like this. But I am worried about both men's health. The second explosion hit Sword right in the face and had to have charred Athrin's groin after the attempted roll-up pin. And right as i say that, Minerva, Athrin's wife has come out to the ring, followed by Tigerfly Sword, Sword's wife!

It's taking time for both men to regain consciousness here. I don't even know what happens to the King of Kirin World Title but I assume that in a draw the Title stays with the current champion, Athrin. We'll have to get the final word from Kirin authorities about that.

And finally, both men begin to stir. A combination of smelling salts along with their wives and friends rousing them have seemed to work. After a few minutes, both men miraculously get to their feet, with the help of the ropes. F.T.S. appear to be pointing at Sword and his friends in a menacing way but Athrin waves them off. He asks Minerva to help him walk over to Sword, who is being helped to his feet by Tigerfly.

I don't know what we're gonna see here. Athrin limps over and gets right in Sword's face. We get a stare down and then...

He bows! Athrin bows! Sword doesn't know what to do but after a few seconds of taking the sight in, he holds out his hand and Athrin shakes it. The fans ERUPT for this. We knew Athrin, as vicious as he is, has his own sense of honor and he's showing it here. I think Sword just earned his respect after going through this ordeal and the two are finally putting their differences aside and moving on.

Athrin starts to leaves with F.T.S as the timekeeper hands him the King of Kirin World Title. Sword and his allies exit the ring a few seconds afterward as Drake Yoshida frantically runs out to talk with both groups. I can't quite make out what he's saying but he appears both angry and nervous and it almost looks like he's mouthing something about the second explosion. Drake does not look happy at all and appears to be nervously scanning the audience while trying to verbally usher everyone out of the ring. But the ref and nurse Gooses are still lingering there."










[John:] "What the hell! A THIRD explosion!? What is going on here! Everyone is shocked, least of which being Sword and Athrin who appear enraged at this! A third explosion could have killed them in the condition they were in!! Drake is almost as angry and all of them march backstage while other medics come out to quickly drag the gooses out and help Anji who appears hurt given what he just went through! Seriously, that man is a tank but three explosions is asking a lot even of him! Folks, I'm getting word backstage from Drake that we have to finish tonight before anyone else gets hurt and the fans are being instructed to leave in an orderly but quick fashion. We're all wondering who's behind this but I don't think the suspects are far from our minds. Good bye everyone and we'll see you at the next Circuit show in September."

*The show fades to black.*