Battalion 2008-2010 Finale Show

[OrochiGeese]

Universal Battalion League 2008-10 - Finale Show





*Blue, gold, red, and black streamers fall from the sky in the Battle Chamber of the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena. The fans are waving their signs (samples: "Finally!", "No more Interblock sentences", "My other Battalion's on the Moon."). But before we get to our host, the Battle-Tron turns on and this video starts*


Battalion Finale Show Introduction Hype Video



*And we're joined at the commentary booth by John Randolph AND Jean Carter!*

[John:] "Welcome fans to the 2008-2010 Battalion finale show! And let me echo what the fans are saying right now and send a HUGE welcome to Coach Jean Carter for joining us!"

[MJC:] "Awwwe!"

*MJC stands up and bows to the crowd, blowing kisses*

[MJC:] "You can just call me Jean, tonight. I'm not the Coach of this locker room."

[John:] "That would get awkward...with the men and all."

[MJC:] "Indeed! So I didn't know if I could make it tonight but with this show being in the same arena that I work in daily, and with OG-Joshi Illumination production going swimmingly, I wanted to be here in person to actually bear witness to the conclusion of this seemingly endless league!"

[John:] "I'm very glad to have your company. Not just for the pretty smile-"

[MJC:] "Oh, you!"

[John:] "But because no one else has better insight about what occurred over the last two years."

[MJC:] "I just wish UBL would have put such a great video together at the start of the league!! I leave and suddenly it's like production values galore!"

[John:] "The video definitely got me in the mood to-"

[MJC:] "Manners, John! Manners!"

[John:] "I was gonna say watch wrestling."

[MJC:] "Oh. Well, then let's not waste any more time and get right to talking about the first match!"

[John:] "So not only were you the host of the Universal Battalion for the last two years, you were also the host of the Universal Championship League in 2007. And so you know how much is on the line in the next match besides just advancing to the finals."

[MJC:] "We've got Team McPro facing off with the Dod Squod. And I mean, the history here actually dates back much further then the Championship league you mentioned. It goes all the way to like the Protozoic wild world."

[John:] "I'm not sure I underst-"

[MJC:] "When McLanahans and Dods roamed the earth vying for the PW-W Title! McPro was started by Twinky McLanahan and his biggest rival besides Geese has been Jack Dod. Those two battled it out constantly in PW-W."

[John:] "If I understand their history, it even contributed to Jack Dod launching Johnny Bingo due to his officiating leading to Twinky beating Jack for the PW-W Title at Evo.R."

[MJC:] "Sigh...Johnny."

[John:] "Sorry, I know that's a sore subject for you."

[MJC:] "Yeah. But you are correct. And once Jack and Twinky got to the UBL, Jack hurt Twinky McLanahan's #1 student, Nick Strife! Incidentally, that is something Geese actually tried to do as well, to "end" Twinky's philosophy of Snack Road by hurting his student and legacy. But Jack succeeded and hurt Nick's leg so badly that he basically had to forfeit the rest of his matches, save one, for the league."

[John:] "Odd, what was the one match he was able to wrestle in?"

[MJC:] "Well it wasn't an actual match. But that encounter actually had his planned opponent, the Centurion *Jean shudders* already hurt worse then Nick and in an odd manner, Nick won simply by walking to the ring."

[John:] "1 step for Nick Strife and mankind, I suppose."

[MJC:] "But Nick has wanted to avenge his injury since then but unfortunately barely crossed paths with Jack in the tag league. Tonight is Nick's chance to do it by not just beating Jack up, but by helping his team advance past the Dods to the finals."

[John:] "Thanks for the history lesson, Professor!"

[MJC:] "No, that's Miss Cule, not me."

[John:] "Right - now Nick has with him a man that is feared throughout the league, Bak Fu. Another man who had some issues with Jack Dod in the past and one who got into a near war in the stands with Caleb Dod at the second to last Battalion show. I heard that they had originally intended Eddie Swan to be in this match but Bak wanted to face off with Caleb."

[MJC:] "I'm almost scared to see what happens when they collide!"

[John:] "Bak Fu vs. Caleb Dod is like the unrelenting Mongolian vs. the Great Wall of China."

[MJC:] "Sensitive jokes, John. We have an international audience tonight!"

[John:] "And they are about to witness quite a match! Let's get to the ring!"

[MJC:] "WAIT! First there's an important piece of info. About the match rules!"

[John:] "Oh right - Unlike the official league matches that were all elimination style, the two semi-final matches tonight are not. That is because the winners of each will have one more big match tonight and also because that other big match will be under elimination rules. So this and match three will be regular tag matches and the main event tonight will be a 3 on 3 elimination Battalion Title match between the winners of the semi-final matches."

[MJC:] "See - you just saved the audience a lot of confusion! Now, let's get to the ring!"

[John:] "Team McPro comes out first to a huge amount of fan support."

[MJC:] "There's about as many pro-McPro signs as anti-Dod ones. An interesting mix but not surprising. There even are pro-Dod ones, which isn't like pro-McPro or McPro-Dod signs."

[John:] "McPro-Dod signs?"

[MJC:] "Uh...look over there! It's the Dod Squod coming to the ring! McPro is wasting no time and engages them right on the ramp. This match is about to start!"


Match #1: Team McPro vs. Dod Squod

Bak Fu/Nick Strife vs. Caleb Dod/Jack Dod


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[John:] "That is truly something you don't see very often, or like ever...at all."

[MJC:] "Caleb Dod has just KNOCKED OUT Bak Fu! Folks, that's like out-meme'ing Chuck Norris or being a bigger horse's arse then Grant Thumb!"

[John:] "That chokeslam was...like nothing I've ever seen before."

[MJC:] "Or ever want to see again!"

Nick Strife/Bak Fu (X) [Hand of Dod - KO - 18:08] (O) Caleb Dod/Jack Dod


[John:] "Caleb is a huge, huge, huge and powerful man but I never imagined he could knock out the force of nature that is Bak Fu."

[MJC:] "John, Geese tried to taze Caleb and it had no effect. The man is the enforcer of the Dod Squod and he just enforced Dod fury! I hope Bak is alright."

[John:] "Well the good news is that Eddie Swan came out right when the match ended to stop any potential attacks on the downed Bak or Nick Strife. As a result, the Dods have left to celebrate so no more damage is done to Team McPro."

[MJC:] "I really didn't want to see tonight start off with an injury like that. The medics are coming and it looks like they have woken Bak up, but just as a precaution they are taking him out on a stret-"

[John:] "No! Bak is refusing the stretcher, sorry for interrupting you, Jean. Heh."

[MJC:] "It's ok - play by play comes first! But you gotta be amazed at Bak refusing the help and electing to walk back on his own, well, with a little support from Eddie and Nick. Bak won't let Caleb's move truly defeat him and he is getting rousing crowd support."

[John:] "I wonder if Bak is gonna want a match with Caleb now."

[MJC:] "Count on it - and it will likely be at an Open show so you better prepare!"


*"Battery" hits the speakers as Marauder comes out to ringside*

[John:] "Looks like we go from one big man to another. Marauder is a bit shorter then Caleb Dod but is still huge in his own right, while surprisingly being as aggressive and forceful as a Bak Fu. If someone put Bak Fu and Caleb in a blender-"

[MJC:] "No, no, let's...let's not finish that sentence."

[MJC:] "Sorry. Marauder is certainly getting some cheers for a change! I'm not sure if that's because of his recent good deeds or because of Naja Mask's bad behavior towards him. For years, since the old UBL, these two were inseperable and insufferable. But as the tag league went on, Naja started taking Marauder for granted and holding him back from doing the right thing. When Marauder finally confronted him about it, using words, Naja used violence! Naja really hurt Marauder by slide dropkicking his face after a tough match with the Busch Boys."

[John:] "Additionally, Naja and Marauder were actually the last reigning Battalion Champions - it's poetic in a way that they are set to face off with each other on a night when guaranteed new champs will be crowned."

[MJC:] "Oh I never knew you were such a poet, John! The girls must love it!"

[John:] "Well, I'm glad you like..."

[MJC:] "Ahh you're blushing! At least you can show it, unlike Marauder and Naja who both wear masks. Though Marauder does because of major injuries he sustained when he was jumped after a collegiate wrestling event. He's never been the same since then, not that I knew him before but that also explains why he was so protective of Naja when others tried to confront him. Marauder hates when anyone gets ganged up on as it reminds him of the attack that befell him. And tonight, both Marauder and Naja have to settle their issues with no one's else's help."

[John:] "Marauder is the clear favorite here, both in fan support and likelihood to win. Not only were they Battalion champs together but Marauder was a previous Universal Champion. The fact is that in every singles league since 2006, Marauder excelled in 1 on 1 competition when Naja floundered."

[MJC:] "Snakes aren't fish, John."

[John:] "When UBL was reconstituted in the US, and ran its first singles league, Marauder tied for second while Naja barely had two wins. Marauder beat men like Bak Fu and Twinky McLanahan while Naja could barely beat the Centurion. Whatever role Geese may have had in splitting Naja and Marauder, he was correct that Marauder is truly the greater singles asset. Naja seemed lost in the UBL until the tag league started. There's no doubting his ability when calling the shots for a partner, Naja is a true tag team ring general. But when he's alone, he hasn't had anywhere near the success Marauder has had."

[MJC:] "But that doesn't mean Marauder can beat Naja here. There's so much history and if Naja can get into Marauder's head, sow any doubt or sympathy, Naja wins this. He's a snake, snakes invented manipulation! That's what I learned at the Vatican during the Rome show."

[John:] "Well if what Marauder said recently is true, he's through with being manipulated and used. But actions speak louder then words, and I'm just glad we don't have to hear Naja Mask attempt to talk. I wonder if he gets paid by the "s"."

[MJC:] "Then maybe he'll make double for a losssss."

[John:] "Let'ssss get to the ring as Naja has made his entrance to plenty of boossssss."

[MJC:] "Thisssss issss fun!"


Match #2: Marauder vs. Naja Mask

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[John:] "Well we're not quite in the good spirits we were before this match started."

[MJC:] "That damn snake! And Nightmare - you were friends with Marauder too!"

[John:] "Key word here being 'were'"

[MJC:] "I can't believe he took sides....and took Naja's side!"

[John:] "Luckily for Marauder, Yamashita Goro-"

[MJC:] "John, I'm as happy as anyone that Goro, a good friend of mine, came to Marauder's rescue. But-

[John:] "But it wasn't in time."

[MJC:] "Don't get me wrong. It's not Goro's fault it took him a while with the security situation as it is and the fact that Goro is actually only supposed to be Drake's security guard. He had to run from backstage to the ring as soon as he saw Nightmare come so he didn't have time to stop it. There's no way anyone would have made it at that point with the attack being so sudden. Goro's foot speed are also kinda limited from an incident in China. But the fact is-"

[John:] "Marauder is REALLY hurt. I mean, he just got his mask literally burnt into his face and then Naja's poison mixed in. Whatever bad shape his face was in before-"

[MJC:] "And his long term health. We've seen a lot of violent attacks in the UBL, but this really was one of the most vile and creepiest. What Caleb Dod did before, that was still in a match and no weapons were used. It wasn't illegal, it was just a strong man doing something strong to another strong man. It was an utter and valid display of strength to win a match. But this, two on one, fire and poison acid. There's no excuse for that EVER."

[John:] "Marauder is a friend of Drake, and also an ally of Geese. They've wrestled together on the same team a number of times in SCW for theri annual Trios Tournaments. Geese has also used Marauder as a training partner. Fact is, Geese has respect for Marauder. And we all know Geese has little to no respect for Naja. I would not be surprised to see Naja get more then a slap on the wrist for this."

[MJC:] "He should, but I'm more worried about Marauder now."

[John:] "I know it's not entirely appropriate but I do just need to reiterate that Marauder is the declared victor of this match, putting it away pretty easily with that running tackle of his. It look like it broke Naja in half but he is more resilient then he looks."

[MJC:] "Marauder deserved the win but right now - he deserves some justice."

Marauder (O) [Spinal Fission - 13:51] (X) Naja Mask


[John:] "And actually, it looks like Thunder Strike, of J.U.S.T.I.C.E. is coming to the ring now. The medics are there with Marauder and Goro watching over him. Thunder looks incredibly angry at Naja slinking out of the audience. Amazingly, Marauder is actually still conscious and man - is he getting up!?"

[MJC:] "Marauder is trying to get up on his own power! What the heck! First Bak Fu and now Marauder!? These men take ridiculous levels of punishment!"

[John:] "Well they did sustain different damage. Bak had an impact injury whereas Marauder's body was more or less ok, it was just his face. Even though his legs and lower body are fine, he SHOULD be in some kind of physical shock now."

[MJC:] "As I said before, Marauder is no stranger to tramautic injuries. I think his past actually prepared him for this. But to get up? Can he even see?"

[John:] "Thunder and Goro are both helping him get strapped in to a stretcher. Even though he can walk, he's still in danger and needs to be immediately treated by the hospital for any eye injuries he may have sustained. Not to mention getting that mask unburnt off his face."

[MJC:] "Thunder is really angry here but is thanking Goro for coming to Marauder's aid. Goro is now helping the medics take Marauder backstage. Meanwhile, Jang Bae has come out and it looks like we're getting ready for our next match."

[John:] "Our thoughts are with Marauder here but we do need to get back to the action. J.U.S.T.I.C.E. is about to face a very motivated ARMADA team. A team that I watched clinch the Block D win at the previous Open show against LRI. Vigoro is one of the most difficult wrestlers to face and Galcian is extremely intelligent and driven."

[MJC:] "But John - Thunder Strike is PISSED. And listen, I'm telling you - when Thunder is that angry, his opponents won't beat him. I don't even really like the guy - he's always been rude to me. But I've seen him beat Geese, TWICE. And that wasn't just from skill, it was from his anger and motivation. The only question is whether or not he is on the same page as Jang Bae as those two have had major friendship issues."

[John:] "Either no one really knows why, or they aren't telling."

[MJC:] "Celes knew but she refused to tell me. I didn't like that she kept secrets. Friends don't keep secrets but then we all know that Celes saw me as a work mule and not a friend."

[John:] "You ok there..."

[MJC:] "Yeah. All I know is that Jang has tried to reach out to Thunder recently, AND that Jang has practically reinvented his career and had incredible success over in Japan at Kirin Dojo - the home of Athrin Cross."

[John:] "Please don't say that name right now - I'm still getting over what F.T.S. did at the Open Show. You want to talk violence, I think Athrin and F.T.S. would skin Naja Mask, drink his blood, and give Nightmare some night terrors of his own."

[MJC:] "Well Kirin is a very competitive promotion and Jang has just captured the NPA World Jr Heavyweight Championship after winning the Fire and Ice Festival last year. He's on as good a role as anyone in pro wrestling right now. But - same question as with Thunder."

[John:] "Can Thunder and Jang get along? We all know that they are both great singles wrestlers. But if they can't work together now, it won't mean anything. Especially because Galcian and Vigoro work together incredibly well as a unit."

[MJC:] "You know, all this makes me wonder why we're seeing Thunder and Jang now when the most compatible J.U.S.T.I.C.E. team is Jang and Jason. Team Jangson."

[John:] "Right - they are still on the same page and are friends with no tension at all. In fact, Jason's sister Angelica and Jang's student Marie are friends and are even scheduled to team together in LAWL soon. Jang's student Alicia is friends with them but still isn't talking to Thunder. The whole situation is very complicated."

[MJC:] "I don't know why Thunder didn't let Jason wrestle this match in his place. It also seems like having Jason in here would help J.U.S.T.I.C.E get a speed advantage. However, over the last few years, Thunder has questioned Jason's abilities, despite Jason beating Thunder in the singles league. Perhaps Thunder thought Jason wasn't ready for this?"

[John:] "It's not like you to spread rumors, Jean!"

[MJC:] "No really, I have been there personally to witness Thunder talking down to Jason. I've seen it with thine own eyes! I just think Jason had the stronger singles league and the stronger Battalion so I don't know why he's not in this first match unless they are saving him for the finals so he is fresher. He did beat Jack Dod in the singles league when Thunder Strike didn't, so maybe that is the strategy here. But the fact that Jason and Jang work better together right now, I don't know, John. It's just speculation but that's what I'm being paid to do here tonight!"

[John:] "Well I think it's time to end the speculation as ARMADA has come out to ringside. They are getting a lot of support here actually, which isn't surprising. The Open show crowd LOVED them for defeating LRI and I think ARMADA earned a lot of respect for themselves and the NDP promotion they are a part of."

[MJC:] "Hey - didn't you come to us from NDP?"

[John:] "Myself and...Furis."

[MJC:] "I'm suprised that wasn't beeped out of the broadcast by Drake."

[John:] "But yeah, I came from NDP and I can tell you - ARMADA is a very serious and driven team. It wouldn't surprise me if they won this entire thing tonight. Remember that LRI were previous PW-W Tag Champions but ARMADA beat them cleanly. Facing two people like Thunder and Jang who maybe aren't on the same page - J.U.S.T.I.C.E. may be toast here."

[MJC:] "Let's not give LAWL any ideas of a Thunder Toast character, ok? Ok."

[John:] "Thunder Toast and Juice Bae."

[MJC:] "To the ring!"


Match #3: J.U.S.T.I.C.E. vs. ARMADA

Jang Bae/Thunder Strike vs. Adam Galcian/Ivan Vigoro


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[John:] "And what a match we just had!! I thought it could have gone either way really."

[MJC:] "Yeah wow - you gotta admire the tenacity of all four men there. And that ending, we've actually seen something like that happen during the league."

[John:] "How so?"

[MJC:] "There was a match where Thunder was about to be hit by Mike Gainer's "No-Gainer," which is a flatliner, when Jang ran and hit his "Bully STOpper" running STO on Mike. Here, we saw Vigoro stretching out Jang and Thunder calmly waited for his spot to put on the "Dissonant Dreams" sleeper."

Jang Bae/Thunder Strike (O) [Dissonant Dreams - 27:55] (X) Ivan Vigoro/Adam Galcian

[John:] "So they had confidence in each other's resiliency that they could pull of a move like that and take advantage of the situation. Considering the potential issues between the two, maybe this was a sign that they are back on the same page?"

[MJC:] "Yeah, I mean, if I was Thunder and concerned that Jang was really angry at me, I probably would have immediately come to his aid...but that was when Galcian was still in the ring and could have posed a problem. Instead, Thunder had confidence in Jang that Jang would understand Thunder's delay but then come in at the right time to end the match."

[John:] "Interesting analysis there, Jean. And I think you may be right. Cause Thunder is helping Jang up and Jang is patting him on the back and pointing to his head. Like Thunder did the right thing there. I'm not sure how close they are again but at least for this match, they were on the same page at the end. It's good to see. No matter what their problems, and whether they won this match, you want to see this result between them rather then the Naja and Marauder one."

[MJC:] "Agreed! Friendship is friendly! And you know what else is good to see?"

[John:] "J.U.S.T.I.C.E. is offering a handshake to ARMADA and wow, are they actually taking it? Yes they are!"

[MJC:] "It's not a long hug or a social media invite but hey, it's something! Sportspersonship does this Coach good to see! And these two teams deserve the accolades they are getting. Folks, this is what UBL and OG-Joshi is about - two motivated and skilled teams trying to be the best and putting any ill will out of the way to entertain the fans and become better."

[John:] "Jean, I wouldn't speak too soon - "

[MJC:] "Oh no! No not now!! The Dods are out...and LRI...and-"

[John:] "We have a problem! Drake, Geese, whoever, we have a problem!"

[MJC:] "Someone get out here! And not more of who is coming now!"

[John:] "The Dods, all three of them, and LRI, all three of them, have chairs and are surrounding the ring. The four inside are in big trouble - they just wrestled for 30 minutes and are unarmed and - here it comes!"

[MJC:] "Oh I can't watch!"

[John:] "They stormed the ring and J.U.S.T.I.C.E. and ARMADA are trying to fight them off, but they can't! They are too tired and hurt from the match! And we have chairshots left and right here! Caleb just chokeslammed Jang onto a chair while Jack hit Thunder with a chair-assisted Dodsmack!! Both men are out and not moving! Meanwhile Fat Lip and VD Dod held Galcian while Stuart leaves the ring and finds a barbed wire bat under it! He rolls back in and clobbers Galcian with it, opening up his forehead! When they tried to hold Vigoro, he shook them off, only to get speared by Caleb and then held up by him! Another bat shott!! And now they are doing the same to Jang and Thunder!! Bat shots to them!! And Caleb just chokeslammed Vigoro onto the chairs while Jack hits Galcian with the Dodsmack! This is a total annihilation of both teams!! And that's not even mentioning the stomping going on in between finishers and bat shots!"

[MJC:] "WHERE THE HECK IS SECURITY!"

[John:] "Jean - security has apparently been out here the whole time - standing in the way of anyone coming to the aid of the men in the ring!"

[MJC:] "WHAT!?"

[John:] "Jason Hyde of J.U.S.T.I.C.E. and Ryan Ramirez of ARMADA are trying to break through but Genji Security are telling them "it's too dangerous for non-security" while not doing anything to stop the attack themselves!"

[MJC:] "No!"

[John:] "This is - wait...look, in the crowd!"

[MJC:] "OMG - it's Alicia Gordon, Celes, Clyde and Figaro!!"

[John:] "And they have just MOWED down all security near them and hightailed it to the ring. While security was distracted by them, Jason and Ryan ran down to the ring...and now Eddie Swan and Nick Strife are coming out too! The Dods immediately bail, which is smart since they have their main event tonight-"

[MJC:] "For NOW they have their main event. I wouldn't be surprised if they get ousted as a result of this unwarranted attack."

[John:] "Well they are running off, leaving LRI to contend with an angry mob of dangerous wrestlers. However, rather then hurt LRI, the group just simply tosses them out of the ring so they can attend to the victims of the attack. Figaro, Clyde, and Celes absolutely obliterate the Genji security still in the way so that the medics can come through to attend to the injured in the ring."

[MJC:] "John - the stakes of violence keep raising tonight. First Bak Fu gets knocked out. Then Naja Mask and Nightmare, now the Dods and LRI perpetrate this attack. I don't like this. I'm getting a very bad feeling about tonight and I've been here before, John. I've seen the worst happen and-"

*John puts his hand on Jean's shoulder.*

[John:] "Listen - we're gonna take a small intermission right now. If you need to go backstage."

[MJC:] "No, I can't leave. I need to see all of this for myself."


As the medics attend to those in the ring, we fade to an advertisement for OG-Joshi Amplitude. When we get back, Jean is trying to calm down and drinking from a bottle of water. The ring has been cleared with the last vestiges of medics wheeling people backstage on stretchers.

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[John:] "J.U.S.T.I.C.E. and ARMADA are now going backstage to be attended to. It's unlikely that we're gonna see Thunder and Jang again tonight."

[MJC:] "I just hope we see them again. In the ring. Or at all."

[John:] "It looks like Drake Yoshida is out here now and he has a mic. Man, I can't remember the last time I saw him so angry and fired up."


[Drake:] "LRI - you're fired. You will not step foot in UBL again. If you come back, what you did in that ring is nothing compared to the welcome you'll get if you return here."

*The fans cheer but Drake doesn't react to them*

[Drake:] "Dods - as much as I'd love to fire you right now, we're not throwing away the legitimacy of our Battalion Championship by eliminating a finalist team: not after spending two years of getting to this point. You already tried to ruin it but we will have the last laugh. Since you have misbehaved the entire league, and during the singles league, you forced our hand. Since Thunder and Jang have been injured outside of a match by prospective opponents, the injury clause of the Battalion has now been triggered. Jason can pick anyone he wants to fill in for Thunder and Jang. Not that Geese wasn't busy enough tonight anyway, but Jason will soon meet with him backstage to discuss who he wants as teammates."

*Drake then suddenly smirks.*

[Drake:] "Dods...you're screwed."

*The crowd is shocked at Drake's language, even Jean gasps. Drake goes backstage.*

[John:] "Wow - I can't say I ever heard Drake talk like that before."

[MJC:] "You can say a lot about Drake but the fact is that he's intensely protective of the legitimacy of the UBL. It was his promotion back in Japan and he still feels a sense of loyalty and emotional ownership of it even if Geese is the legal owner now. Drake had problems with Jack Dod undermining his and Geese's plans all Champions and Battalion League. And what just happened moments ago is really the icing on the sad cake."

[John:] "The sad cake?"

[MJC:] "Well I'm not gonna cuss like Drake!! Though it was good to see him get fired up for the right reasons. I just wonder who Jason will choose."

[John:] "Well it's gonna be some time before we find out as we still have two big matches to go before the main event."

[MJC:] "And the next one isn't exactly a break from the bad feelings that have built up all night. In fact, this is another "sad cake" story. Sam McCloud and Reynold Anderson were former friends and TMG 200Y teammates. But Reynold turned against Sam and also cost TMG the FLEX Triple Play Championships at the previous Orochi-O's TV show. This was after Reynold repeatedly lied and manipulated Sam throughout the Battalion and during FLEX shows."

[John:] "Well tonight, Sam has a chance to get even with Reynold in this "Samurai Shodown" match to be held under Last Man Standing rules."

[MJC:] "Reynold hasn't been in actual UBL competition before. He was the manager for TMG, after all. But we have to figure that for him to have been in that stable for so long, he has the abilities in the ring to at least match the other three. We also know that Reynold was always the serious one during TMG hijinks and maybe even was frustrated at their lack of seriousness at times."

[John:] "But tonight, I have no doubt that Sam is gonna be more serious then we've ever seen him."

[MJC:] "And he'll also be emotional and potentially distracted by having to face a former friend who turned against him."

[John:] "That sounds more then a bit similar to our analysis of Marauder facing Naja Mask. And Marauder had no problem-"

[MJC:] "I hate to interrupt, John. But Marauder really DID have a problem. A large one. It just wasn't til the end of the match he had to face it. I hope Sam fares better, win or lose."

[John:] "Well let's get to the ring as Reynold is making a stoic silent entrance. And rather then basking in his usual entrance, Sam has run right out and gotten into the face of Reynold! It's on! Let's see which, uh, samurai, wins out!"


Match #4: Sam McCloud vs. Reynold Anderson

Samurai Shodown match (SWA rules)

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[MJC:] "Wow, you gotta hand it to Sam for hanging on and making a comeback but Reynold was just too aggressive throughout."

[John:] "Reynold was very intelligent in using that hanging vertical suplex at the end. After 15 minutes of punishment, hanging Sam upside-down and making the blood rush to his head make Sam dizzy. He had a very tough time in getting up for the count, a feat he did not achieve. Reynold is a real saavy ring veteran and could not have come up with a more perfect move in his arsenal to finish off a Last Man Standing match. As motivated as Sam was, even he couldn't fight vertigo."

[MJC:] "Vertigo is responsible for at least 500 cases of "falling on one's bum" per year. Don't become a statistic."

[John:] "Unfortunately for Sam, he just did. And Reynold has taken a huge step forward in his own singles career, beating fan favorite and arguably the heart of TMG, Sam McCloud."

[MJC:] "Don't tell that to Team Chuu Chuu - they've fallen for Ozzy DaBoe!"

[John:] "Maybe we shouldn't be sowing any further seeds of dissent in TMG."

[MJC:] "Zip! Lips sealed!"

Sam McCloud (X) [Hanging Vertical Suplex - 16:47] (O) Reynold Anderson

[OrochiGeese]

[MJC:] "And folks we're about to go backstage. This wasn't on the planned schedule but well, let's see what's up!"


*The BattleTron lights up to show a familiar hallway, the one outside Drake Yoshida's office. We see Drake, accompanied by Yamashita Goro, leading Jason Hyde to the door. Drake knocks.

[Voice from inside:] "What's the password?"

[Drake:] "Damn it, Luke, let me in already!"

*The door opens and an impatient Orochi Geese comes out, looking around the hallway in a paranoid fashion until he sees no one else is there that he doesn't want to be. He then ushers Jason in, who at first is reluctant. Geese smirks and moves aside from the door, granting Jason a clear view of what is in the office. A look of shock immediately registers on Jason's face to which Geese returns with a smile and a conciliatory nod.*

[Geese:] "I did not order the attack before. And to prove it - these are the replacement teammates I am offering you. But your decision to accept them must be made within the next five minutes. I have a match next and will be in no mental shape to discuss this situation for the rest of the night. You may refuse this deal right now and walk away to choose your own partners, or come in and speak with these men and see for yourself why they are optimal. As you now must realize, you would be a fool to expect a double cross. And if you agree to draft its members, Cease Fire protection will be granted to you for at least the remainder of the evening."

*Jason walks into the office and appears to go to shake someone's hand. Geese grins and closes the door behind him. We go back to the announcers.*


[MJC:] "Wow! Geese just hand picked two partners for Jason? That appear favorable to him?"

[John:] "Granted this is about a half hour after the attack, but it sure seems like Geese had people on hand, 'optimal' people, to help Jason out."

[MJC:] "Well if Geese did order the attack before, it would have been in direct violation of the Cease Fire. I doubt he would have waited until the very night the Cease Fire was set to end and then violated it before it was terminated! Why attack Thunder and Jang but grant protection to Jason? It doesn't make sense."

[John:] "Plus, if Geese wanted to eliminate Thunder Strike, why wait til tonight? Why not do it before J.U.S.T.I.C.E. even got to the Finals? There were ample opportunities to do this before and Geese isn't one to waste such opportunities. That said, I do think it's awfully strange that he has things so organized for Jason now, but perhaps he was able to do a last minute deal with people in the locker room. I mean, who would pass up the chance to be in the main event of the biggest UBL show in 3 years!?"

[MJC:] "Not to mention potentially share the title of Battalion Champions!! Heck, even if it was just being in that Battalion for one night, if Jason's team wins, the other two members get some title recognition. I don't know if they get like 1/50th of the belt or how that works, not so good at the maths myself, but this is like being the "closer" for the team. Two closers. Of course...they have to close against the Dods. Who are like the Yankees of shenanigans and winning championships, even when most people don't want you too!"

[John:] "Well we're gonna have to see just who was chosen but did you pick up on an odd statement by Geese?"

[MJC:] "Yes, yes I did. He said he wouldn't be in the right 'mental shape' to talk this over further with Jason after this next match with Jeff Monroe. Does Geese expect to have such a hard time with Jeff or is there something else here at play?"

[John:] "I don't know but this can't be a good thing."

[MJC:] "I already was worried about Jeff's health for tonight but what is Geese planning that will put his own mental health at stake? Guatamalen insanity peppers?!"

[John:] "Let's hope not. But while not insane, these two have had a weird year against each other. It started with the Canada Brothers and Generation NEON attacking Geese during a Battalion show. A large masked man, who looked virtually identical in size to Jeff Monroe, attacked Geese. This infuriated him and set off a war of words between the two. Finally, after Geese was attacked again during the last show of the Battalion, Geese challenged Jeff to either face him in the ring or hand deliver him the masked man. Jeff scoffed and happily took the challenge, seeing it as a huge opportunity to prove himself on a major PPV stage against one of the most decorated, and dangerous, men in wrestling."

[MJC:] "Facing Geese is an opportunity that some wish they never 'get' to have, whereas others see as a potential career-making match. I'll say this about Jeff Monroe - the man is confident and ambitious. He also seems to be in association with Ruby Moreno who is one of Holly's most hated enemies. There's some kind of collusion going on between Jeff and Ruby, like a west coast Geese/Holly connection, but without the P.D.A's and gross comments.. And while Jeff isn't anywhere close to Geese in terms of his experience, he's shown himself to be a quick learner and also has the obvious size and strength advantage."

[John:] "He's gonna need it. Facing Geese any day of the week is hard enough, facing him when you anger him. Well, there have been few men to defeat Geese in that state of mind. Just like we said with Thunder Strike earlier, when Geese is angrier then his opponent, he wins matches. Thunder Strike has defeated Geese twice but the first time they faced each other, Geese was angrier and he won. Geese has beaten Twinky McLanahan, Jack Dod, and Bak Fu in a state of rage. And when he promises someone a hospital visit, he usually makes good on his vow."

[MJC:] "But what about Geese's own health? Mental, physical? What does Geese know that we don't? I guess we are going to find out soon. But I'm not looking forward to it if the events of tonight are any indication of a trend."

[John:] "Jeff comes to the ring first and, is he carrying a black mask? Yes, yes he is!"

[MJC:] "Oh wow, is he actually admitt-"

*Jeff gives his mask to some of the members of the audience. They take turns putting it on as Jeff laughs. He grabs a mic.*

[Jeff:] "Hey Geese, looks like everyone here is 'Spartacus", huh? Which one did it? You'll never know, will ya? We all look the same in a black mask. Hey kid, you wanna be a UBL main eventer? Here-"

*Jeff gives the mask to an 8 year old and whispers to him. The kid puts on the mask and then hits Jeff with a lariat. Jeff feigns falling over and laughs.*

[Jeff:] "Looks like we found your man, Geese. He throws a nasty lariat too! In fact, watch out Level, he may take your spot soon too!"

*Jeff laughs and lets the kid keep the mask.*

[MJC:] "As nice as Jeff was to let that kid keep the mask, a treasured keepsake, this was really not a good idea to do seconds before the match."

[John:] "You don't push Geese to this level. Fuel to the fire."

[MJC:] "And here the man comes, no entrance music or anything. A rare occasion for Geese where he isn't absorbing his own aura and using it to intimidate the opponent through grandeur. Instead, his eyes fixed on Jeff, he begins walking down the ramp, but then stops. Uh oh."

*Geese looks at the kid with the mask who immediately bursts into tears and hides behind his dad. Geese holds his hand out and the father immediately gives the mask to Geese who then rips it up and throws it into the crowd.*

[MJC:] "It's rude to make kids cry."

[John:] "Blame Jeff, he instigated it."

[MJC:] "Honestly, I don't want to send any bad thoughts to Jeff now, he's gonna need all the luck, good karma, and magic in the world to survive this."


Match #5: Jeff Monroe vs. Orochi Geese


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[John:] "You must have sent out some good energy there."

[MJC:] "Wow - Jeff survived!

[John:] "And just wrestled the match of his career!"

[MJC:] "Of course, Geese won with the Raging Bolt. But you gotta give Jeff a huge round of applause for getting as close as he did to victory. And staying competitive with an enraged Geese is a monumentous achievement. I've seen plenty of more experienced wrestlers fall to Geese faster then that without as much effort and momentum. I think Jeff has a real career on his hands."

Jeff Monroe (X) [Raging Bolt - 18:35] (O) Orochi Geese


[John:] "Don't speak too soon, Jean."

[MJC:] "Oh no..."

*As Jeff is still regaining consciousness in the ring, Geese quickly rolls outside.He goes to the crowd barrier to speak to a man.*

[MJC:] "Yanno, I noticed that guy coming to the front row before, he wasn't here the entire night. And he has a hooded sweatshirt on. What's going on here?"

[John:] "Geese seems to be demanding something, but the man isn't complying. Geese starts shaking him, and his hood falls off!"

[MJC:] "OMG!! That's Dr. Schassberg! What the hell!! That's the doctor for Jakob Furis!"

[John:] "SURRENDER ME NOW!"

[MJC:] "What?"

[John:] "Never mind. I think I just got like 10 ulcers. Drake probably got 20."

*The man pulls out a small vial of red liquid and gives it to Geese who finally stops shaking him. Geese drinks the liquid.*

[MJC:] "What...what was that?"

[John:] "Um, does Geese look any different to you?"

*Geese's entire body starts to turn blood red.*

[MJC:] "John, what's happening to him!? He just turned red and is shaking! And now he's laughing, but it's like a roar! He just ripped his shirt off!!"

[John:] "Jean - 'mental state'?

[MJC:] "Uh oh. And now he's getting back into the ring. OH GAWD NO-"

[John:] "Don't look-"


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[Geese:] "RAARRRRR!"

[John:] "So much for calming down..."

[Celes:] "I hate to be self-centered but it's clear you staged this little "blood riot' for our viewing 'enjoyment.'

*Geese's eyes are crazed and his body is still shaking but he nods his head yes.*

[Celes:] "Then it is certain we are not done here yet. Well played, Geese."

[Figaro:] "Congratulations psycho, you did what you said you would. You kept us here a little longer."

[Clyde:] "And so we will finish you off so you are no longer a threat."

[Agent 0:] "No, right now you stand still and listen if you value your lives."

*About 50 Genji Security guards come out, all with tazer guns aimed at the three facing Geese. Clyde goes to reach into his jacket but Celes stops him.*

[Celes:] "Let's here these men out before we take our leave."

[Agent 0:] "Correct. Geese calls the shots here. He wanted me to state that he demands one final encounter with you. But as there's still business to be settled that he wishes to keep an eye on, tonight will not be the night any of you do battle with him."

[Celes:] "Fine, but for efficiency reasons only. Finishing only Geese right now would be reckless. Unless we accomplish the surgical strike that is necessary on multiple targets at once, we would topple his entire empire right now. And that would not be fair to those involved who have good intentions. Geese, have no further fear of our egress, you'll hear from us in the near future to negotiate a final decisive battle. But if you pull something like this again and potentially ruin another wrestler's career, all bets are off. Do not dare step in the ring with anyone else...in fact, do not dare look anyone else in the eye with malice until we have settled this. Those are the conditions. And they make the Cease Fire look like a child's trading card deal."

*Celes nods at Clyde who reaches into his jacket in a lightning quick motion and throws a smoke bomb on the floor. A few tazer shots are fired from Genji but not til after the ring immediately fills with dark smoke. When it finally dissipates, Clyde, Celes and Figaro are gone. Security helps direct the still crazed Geese up the ramp and also collect the Doctor on the way back.*

[John:] "It looks like tonight wasn't just to punish Jeff, but to stop Celes, Clyde and Figaro from leaving for good. Geese wants revenge after they tricked him at the final Battalion show and he had to stop them from leaving to get that revenge. Now that they see the threat he has truly become, they can't leave til they take him out."

[MJC:] "Well they said there are other targets too. I'm guessing I know who at least one of them are and I think I know why they they won't take her out yet. Not before the OG-Joshi Illumination PPV so they don't hurt the legitimacy of the World Championship match and, in turn, their friend Kat Black and the Champion Visper Karr. But as to the other targets, I'm not certain."

[John:] "But can they afford to potentially allow another attack like this to take place?"

[MJC:] "Ordinarily I'd say they really can't. Because once the Cease Fire ends tonight...I know a few people who will become immediate targets of Geese. Even if Jason Hyde is no longer one of them, Thunder Strike will be laying prone in a hospital, easy prey. But I honestly don't think Geese has anyone on his mind...what's left of it...right now other then those three. The attack on Jeff was just a means to an end. But perhaps there will be other such attacks to try to lure them in the future? I don't know. So much of this is just..shocking."

[John:] "Like how Geese got the services of Dr. Schassberg!? Did he free him from Furis? Is he working with Furis? I mean, that doesn't make sense, right? Not based on, well, you know. So just what is happening here! And what was the red vial Geese drank to turn into whatever the hell, or from hell, that was!? Is he gonna turn back into 'regular' violent Geese?"

[MJC:] "All I know is that If he gets any more violent, I don't want to be around to see it! Did you see what he did? Chaos Infinity Hammer! Suplex off the apron! BITING!"

[John:] "All I know is that you were right earlier when you had a bad feeling things were gonna get worse."

[MJC:] "Jeff Monroe, throughout this, was being attended to by the medics. They STILL haven't moved him off the arena floor. This is not a good scene and i really, as much as i want to let the fans know what is happening, i just can't even talk about it."

[John:] "It is entirely possible that Geese just ended Jeff Monroe's career."

[MJC:] "Honestly, sometimes I wonder why am I even working here? Like the Dizzy thing wasn't sad and violent enough?! Like Johnny Bingo being launched into space wasn't horrifying? Like the Dods and LRI or Nightmare and Naja....what the heck, John?"

[John:] "You're here now for OG-Joshi, to help OG-Joshi wrestlers and do your best to protect them. That's why you took the job, Jean. For them."

[MJC:] "Things are gonna get really bad now if Celes is directly targetting Holly. I guess I have to do the best I can to keep things safe."

[John:] "Well, I think for now you need to take your mind off of it. And that's convenient as we're about ready for the main event of tonight."

[MJC:] "I'm not sure I even have the energy-


*At that moment the entrances start*


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*MJC jumps out of her chair, applauding and screaming like a lunatic!*

[MJC:] "OMG ITS JOHNNY BINGO! HE'S BACK!!!!!!!! I can go to sleep without crying!"

[John:] "He's back indeed and wait wha-"

[MJC:] "I mean, he's no longer flying...through space!"

[John:] "Maybe you do need a vacation, after all-"

[MJC:] "No time now, Johnny Bingo is back! OH THANK THE GOOD WHOEVER IS UP THERE SMILING ON US!! He's back!! And showing no signs of space flu! Or space delerium! Or space scurvy! You try getting Vitamin C in a pod!"

[John:] "It's hard enough getting 3 daily servings!"

[MJC:] "Well hold off for now as the match is gonna start soon. Luckily Johnny Bingo is buying us some time by going into and around the crowd and feeding off their cheers and support!! But before the fisticuffs - we have to make sense of this reformed team! Jason is part of J.U.S.T.I.C.E., the only one not injured by the Dods, so his inclusion makes total sense here."

[John:] "But what about the others!?

[MJC:] "Well the other two have one thing in common - desire for revenge against Jack Dod. And actually all three on this re-formed J.U.S.T.I.C.E. team have faced each other in the OJ-FWA promotion in Japan a few years ago and they earned each other's respect. I don't see that as the driving force here, just a coincidence and indication they can work together. I'm sure Jason would be supportive of teaming up with Johnny Bingo. I mean, who wouldn't!"

[John:] "After Johnny launched Jack Dod into space, or well, helped LRI do it."

[MJC:] "And because before being launched, Johnny and the BINGO-1 Battalion were doing great! Anyone that saw that first episode of the league knew what Johnny could do even when the odds were against him! He made a huge comeback against a 2 on 1 situation and actually defeated both opponents! The man is famous around the world...maybe even the galaxy now...for his heart and drive! And he may just win some universal fame tonight!"

[John:] "Speaking of heart, or at least complicated emotions, we have Kyle Walker. We saw what horrors he was capable of in that staplegun death match against Jeremiah Jones. If anyone hurts or embarrasses his sister, Kyle is gonna strike back. And when Jack kicked Holly down onto Geese during that last league show, Kyle's hate wire was tripped. Not to the degree Jones tripped it but still. So Kyle is gonna try to make Jack Dod pay, which is really a tall order. After all, Nick Strife couldn't do it as well as many others in the past. I'm just surprised Jason agreed to work with Kyle. Even with the mutual respect from OJ-FWA, Jason's J.U.S.T.I.C.E. and Kyle's Orochi Army stable has been feuding for years! They even needed a Cease Fire agreement! Also, I'm surprised Kyle was able to come back so soon from the hospital. I don't know if you saw that match, Jean, but it made me sick to my stomach for the entire night."

*Jean is silent, not seeming to want to talk about Kyle.*

[John:] "I'm actually getting word from the back, through Drake, that apparently Kyle left the hospital TONIGHT. Again I ask, did Geese know something was going to happen here? Or was Kyle called out immediately after the Dod/LRI attack earlier?"

[MJC:] "Well unless Johnny Bingo just happened to be sleeping in the arena broom closet, it can't be a coincidence that he is here either. You think Geese activated some homing beacon in the space pod and it got back in time for the main event!?"

[John:] "I remember Geese saying something in one of his last public addresses about being one step ahead of the Dods, maybe this is what he meant. But that would mean-"

[MJC:] "That he had some idea that J.U.S.T.I.C.E. would be attacked tonight!? It's not such a leap of imagination to picture the Dods trying to take their opponents out but Geese seemed really prepared tonight, ready to have backup in case the Dods would pull something. I mean, springing Kyle early from the hospital? Having Johnny Bingo here for who knows how long before announcing that he was back? Sounds like Geese had a trump card. And you don't get a trump card without being able to read your opponent's hand...or having someone look at it for you."

[John:] "Well whatever the story is - we're about to find out how it ends!"

[MJC:] "Johnny, Jason and Kyle are in the ring and both sides immediately converge!"

[John:] "And as the opening video said Jean, LET'S FINISH THIS WAR!!"


Match #6: J.U.S.T.I.C.E. vs. Dod Squod

Jason Hyde/Kyle Walker/Johnny Bingo (!) vs. Ronnie Dod/Caleb Dod/Jack Dod


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[John:] "Wow..."

[MJC:] ".... after all that."

[John:] "Would it be cheesy to say-"

[MJC:] "... J.U.S.T.I.C.E. has just been done!"

[John:] "Exactly!"

[MJC:] "BINGO style enhanced J.U.S.T.I.C.E."

[John:] "With a side of Justice Kai!"

J.U.S.T.I.C.E. (O) [Chicken Wing Armlock - 38:10] (X) Dod Squod

Official order of Eliminations

Jack Dod defeats Jason Hyde at 27:11 via STF
Kyle Walker defeats Jack Dod at 29:58 via Sky Walker
Ronnie Dod defeats Kyle Walker at 35:01 via AnaconDodachoke
Johnny Bingo defeats Ronnie Dod at 35:56 via Chicken Wing Armlock
Johnny Bingo defeats Caleb Dod at 38:10 via Chicken Wing Armlock


[MJC:] "I don't know what Johnny calls that wonderful move but I'm calling it the "Lunar lock!"

[John:] "It took out two Dods!"

[MJC:] "Just like the first show, that I mentioned before, Johnny just overcame a 1 on 2 advantage and did it against the top team of the Battalion! Yep, that's right. Johnny Bingo just won the very LAST match of this 2 year long league in the same fashion he won the very first! You want expensive bookends for your expensive book case? Well book that, peoples!"

[John:] "Speaking of improbably calculated comebacks, how about Kyle Walker getting apron chokeslammed by Caleb Dod! That's a mountain of a man, a man who took a taser shot and shrugged it off, a man who just knocked out Bak Fu earlier....throwing a 5 footer head first to the ground...a 5 footer who just got out of the hospital tonight!"

[MJC:] "After that staple match, I can't even say I'm surprised. More concerned. And not FOR Kyle. The man is starting to show signs of - oh, oh I get it now. Yes that I do."

[John:] "What?"

[MJC:] "I better not say."

*John calls her a 'tease" under his breath*

[MJC:] "What?"

[John:] "Bees."

[MJC:] "Oh, oh right."

*John looks confused as to why she accepted that so easily.*

[MJC:] "What a mixed night for J.U.S.T.I.C.E."

[John:] "My only concern is - is this whole thing gonna fly?"

[MJC:] "What do you mean? Like bees again?"

[John:] "I know Geese owns this promotion and Drake approved this, but - Geese just enabled someone from another Battalion to compete tonight. And that has been expressly disallowed in the past. Kyle is in the clear since he wasn't in the tag league to begin with and outside talent is always allowed to fill in for an injured wrestler after an illegal attack from a rival team. But Johnny was the captain of the BINGO-1 Battalion and you aren't allowed to switch teams like that-"

*Jean puts her finger up and smiles*

[MJC:] "Usually you'd be right but I actually had a chance to read about this when working as UBL secretary and researching both leagues. See, there's a special rule that if a wrestler launches you into space without consent, you can end up on whatever team faces them in the finals."

[[John:] "That's a real UBL rule? Jean, you have a great sense of humor but come on-"

[MJC:] "Rule 500b: "What you put into orbit can come back around and smack you like a meteorite."

*John stares dumbfoundedly at Jean*

[John:] "You're kidding--"

*MJC takes out the Battalion rule book*

[John:] "Well I'll be."

[MJC:] "That rule is a holdover from the really old UBL. Apparently COSMIC KID...who's a jerk now by the way...was once put into orbit by his enemy, Nebulous Nebulos. Cosmic was able to return via asteroid power and face him for the Galaxian Goldmine which was like a Lightspeedweight Title League. But this rule was never taken off the books and is still considered valid!"

[John:] "Looks like Jack Dod should have studied his UBL history! Or not launched someone into space! Or not joined a promotion with a history like you just mentioned!"

[MJC:] "See kids, it pays to LEARN."

[John:] " And to have a wealth of archaic laws you can enforce selectively!"

[MJC:] "Not that the Dods could really, in good faith, argue against this. Not after all they've done in the UBL. The injuries, the launchings, the attacks. They are just lucky that they were allowed to compete for the titles tonight, as it was. It's really too bad too, cause they have the talent to win legitimately as we've seen a few times. I can't help but think that had they competed fairly against the original J.U.S.T.I.C.E. they could have even had the advantage. But they had three very fired up opponents, fired up due to pushing them so far. Their antics finally caught up with them."

[John:] "Jean, at this point they're just lucky Geese didn't drink something giving him mecha rockets that shot from his eyes. I think LRI is probably lucky they got fired. I'm not even sure what will happen with the Dods at this point."

[MJC:] "Well there are a lot of people who still want to settle scores with them. Especially Team McPro. Nick Strife will want another shot and Bak Fu sure as heck will want to face Caleb Dod again. And of course there's the question of Thunder Strike, Jang Bae, and ARMADA. So I'm not sure what Drake will want to do with them. I think the Dods made more enemies tonight then they suffered retribution from!"

[John:] "No matter what happens with them, at least we know their most cosmic crime has not yielded a permanent victim. Johnny Bingo is back on the Earth and hopefully he can go home to England, if he hasn't already, and reunite with his family and friends."

[MJC:] "Speaking of that, it looks like a large group of people have come into the ring to celebrate with the winners. Angelica Hyde and Holly are literally racing each other into the ring to celebrate with Jason and Kyle respectively. Angelica wins...heh."

[John:] "And here comes the BINGO-1 Battalion to celebrate with Johnny!"

[MJC:] "They are so glad to see him! You know he'll share the honor of being a Battalion Champion with the team he originally wanted to win it with. He's classy like that."

[John:] "Speaking of uh, 'class', Holly is going nuts right now, screaming to the audience: "That's my f'n brother! A real winner! A Champion! Not like you d-bags! Suck on that, Jones! Suck on that Dizzy! Suck on that Jo Ryder if you already didn't have 10 in your f'n whoregobbler mouth! The Walkers are CHAMPIONS FOREVER!"

[MJC:] "It's like her majestic words are formed by the whimsy of angels."

[John:] "Angelica Hyde is a bit more subdued but just as happy. Jason Hyde has gone through the entire tag league, having to face the challenges of his team practically imploding, and then getting attacked tonight. The man who shocked the world in 2007 by beating both Geese and Jack Dod in singles matches and finishing second in the league is now the sole survivor of J.U.S.T.I.C.E. to make it to this point and win the Battalion Championship with Kyle and Johnny. You gotta give Jason a lot of credit for this. He has just won his first UBL TItle and arguably was the leader of his team to get to this point."

[MJC:] "And his sister knows how to act like a lady."

[John:] "You mean Holly making "V tongue" signs to the audience isn't classy?"

[MJC:] "I think even Kyle looks embarrassed here."

[John:] "I think the scene in the ring right now, minus Holly blowing snot rockets at the crowd, which isn't stopping them from cheering for Johnny and Jason, is a very decent note to end on. And so, actually, you can take us out here."

[MJC:] "For Jumpin John Randolph, this is Mean Jean Carter saying goodnight and lock your doors! There's crazies all over the place!"

[John:] "'Jumpin'?"

[MJC:] "Oh and don't miss OG-Joshi Illumination coming to you soon!! Bye-e!"


*Fin*