Circuit - June 2014
Jun 5, 2014 2:18:52 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Jun 5, 2014 2:18:52 GMT -5
Universal Circuit - June 2014
*The Battle Chamber at Royal Wingate Hall has been lit up with anticipation, enthusiasm, and actual illumination! The fans are standing on their feet, a highly usual behavior for bipeds, and are chanting "ubble" over and over again. The camera takes us to the commentary booth where John Randolph is seated with a gracious smile.*
[John:] "Welcome back to the UBL, fans! We have one of the most momentous cards that we have ever had for you on a Circuit Show. That is not hyperbole either. It's an acknowledgement that two of our Championships are being competed for tonight and, in a bizarre twist, the titles themselves are practically competing against each other!
That's right, Joachim is presumably defending his NEXUS Championship against the Marauder. I say 'presumably' because this isn't an officially sanctioned NEXUS Title match, much like the one where Joachim defeated Matt Rivers last year. Instead, this encounter is part of the "Destiny Trial Series". We know that if Joachim beats Marauder in under fifteen minutes, not bloody likely by the way, that Destiny gets to add a new member of theirs to the UBL roster. We know that if he wins after fifteen minutes, nothing of note really happens. Maybe fans get a free straw for their soda...don't hold me to that though. But if Marauder wins, I do not think Joachim is contractually obligated to relinquish his Title. Joachim appears morally obligated but how far will he take that when the prospect of giving up his title actually becomes quite real...like on the other end of a 'Particle Accelerator' powerbomb.
Meanwhile. Corey O'Brian and RYOMA are about to have the third and final match to decide which one of them will become the new, and first, UBL Heavyweight Champion. Corey recently created the Title which has not yet been formally endorsed by Arthur Wingate. But you can't help but empathize with Corey as to his many claims. The only thing I will say in opposition is that Joachim has probably been the most fighting champion ever to hold the NEXUS Title in the history of the belt...that is provided that he actually would have given up the title had he lost any of the matches. But aside from that little detail, we have a UBL Heavyweight Title match as the main event tonight. And we have the NEXUS Title match as the first encounter of the evening. In between that Championship sandwich, or 'Sandwichpionchip' in its native German, is pure creamy peanut buttery action!"
*John is seen to write down "peanut butter" on what appears to be a grocery list.*
[John:] "Uh, sorry..I'm still finding my foods here. Thanks to Jean for the care package full of Skippy though!
Anyway, so depending on who you ask, this match was either a long time coming or a recent phenomena. For those in the latter camp, they point to the aftermath of one of Joachim's Destiny Trial Series victories against Yoshiro. After the match was over, Ruby Moreno proceeded to humiliate an already defeated Yoshiro until Marauder came out. But for those tallying up a larger score, Marauder has long been known as one of the defenders of the UBL. He was instrumental in our defense against Jinchuu and is close friends with Drake Yoshida. And since Destiny is trying to invade us, that sounds awful when I say it out loud, it's only natural that Marauder would seek to end Joachim's NEXUS reign which is the primary leverage that Destiny has over us.
Unfortunately, and not to pile on here, that leverage became greater when Joachim defeated Yoshiro in under fifteen minutes. I'm not sure exactly what the hold-up is, probably due to mind games. but Destiny has not yet formally revealed who their new UBL member will be. I can only assume it's someone who needs a lot of bandages though, given their history of ritual bloodletting. If Marauder can win tonight, and Joachim actually honors his previous statements about relinquishing his Title in the event of a Trial Series loss, this could "stop the bleeding" of the Destiny advantage here.
Can Marauder win? That's a tough question. He's one of the most decorated wrestlers in UBL history, winning the Universal Championship once and being part the dominant half of the Battalion Champions a record six times. And while many questioned whether he could still compete after losing his mask and splitting with Naja Mask, he answered by winning the Battalion Titles with JET Hamada and also being successful in the Super NOVA promotion.
You can not count Marauder out and it's hard to notice if he actually has lost a step since a man that size moving that fast tends to blur the eyes. He's also the biggest and strongest opponent that Joachim has faced. We know that Joachim managed to withstand the high impact but focused offense of Matt Rivers but Marauder has additional megatons to his moves. Yoshiro is a big guy but he doesn't yet have the control or snap that Marauder has in landing his offense. This is physically the biggest test that Joachim has faced on this roster and, to my understanding, in any promotion.
Will Joachim's faith and confidence in himself be enough to rouse him if felled by one of Marauder's specialties? Will Marauder be able to keep this man down for good? Or will the NEXUS Title stick with the man who is a mystery to all of us, but probably isn't all that great for this place just due to the added power that Moreno now has. Marauder, you helped take out Jinchuu, let's see the magic again!"
Destiny Trial series: NEXUS CHAMPIONSHIP (?)
Match 1: Marauder vs. Joachim
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[John:] "Well, I guess we got our answer. Joachim isn't going anywhere for the moment. And honestly, I can't really be mad at him, it's not like he used any dirty tricks. This isn't James Ward or Kyle Walker lighting people on fire. Joachim wrestled a smart and resilient match. You can even say he wrestled a clean match, aside from the blood stains. Joachim kicked out of moves I thought he had no chance against. And, just as importantly, he put Marauder down with the Destiny Driver, the same move that he defeated Matt Rivers with. If he could keep Marauder down, then who can kick out of it? I'm suddenly less optimistic than I was earlier tonight that the Trial Series is going to end any time soon. I guess the best thing that can be said is that Marauder prevented any new roster members from being added as he pushed Joachim past the fifteen minute mark. But given the potential celebratory mood around here tonight, the crowd is discouraged with this outcome. And I can't blame them. No respect to Marauder, but this is no longer a new day for ubble."
Marauder (X) ["Destiny Driver" - 16:14 ] (O) Joachim
*Joachim stands in the corner and patiently waits for Marauder to stand up. Once he is on his feet, Joachim slowly walks over to him, making sure to stay in his field of vision and approach peacefully. Marauder sees him and does not back up. Joachim offers his hand.*
[John:] "Well, this is interesting. I wasn't expecting a display like that. You may not like Joachim but-"
*Marauder looks down, nods his head, and shakes Joachim's hand while looking into his eyes, trying to figure something out.*
[John:] "A wrestler like Marauder is going to respect that in ring display."
*Some of the fans begin to boo but Marauder looks out to the crowd with a fierce look, immediately silencing them.*
[John:] "I don't think they get the type of warrior that the Marauder is. He isn't just fighting for UBL by winning matches, but by showing the type of respect that UBL values after a match like this. He isn't letting his disdain for Destiny stop him from doing what he believes to be the right thing.
The two finish their handshake and walk towards separate directions. Folks, we're gonna go to commercial before the ring gets littered with any more Johnny Bingo Ice Cream bar wrappers! Enjoy 'lost in space lemon' and 'out of this world orange' today!"
*A commerical for Pro-Luta Brasil is shown, and the English fans respond with a football chant.*
[John:] "The legacy of Park's Chippy's endures. I hope the fans know that's a professional wrestling promotion though. Anyway...
*John's expression grows much more serious.*
[John:] "I wanted to take this moment to comment on something that happened earlier tonight, even before the show began. Fans of the business are familiar with the concept of matches occurring before official broadcasts. Some promotions call them 'dark matches' or 'preliminaries' or 'appetizers'...if you're in LAWL. The UBL is no stranger to this business practice. We do this from time to time with wrestlers from other promotions who want to visit and compete in front of our live audience. It is always our privilege to witness these performances and we take the utmost care to ensure the safety of our roster and visitors to our promotion. Most regrettably, we fell short of that standard tonight.
There was an incident before the start of our official broadcast involving Xander Starr, the co-head Trainer of the DRAGONSUPLEX Dojo. Xander is also the currently reigning FLEX Grand Champion of Intense Combat and a very close friend of Corey O'Brian. Those of you with long memories would remember UBL and FLEX working together in the past. For example, Team Moon Gas 200Y, favorites of mine, entertained fans in the UBL when it was centered around the United States.
As Xander was in the midst of wrestling, and controlling, a very entertaining match with UBL newcomer Tsaoring Chou, a masked man came out and attacked both men with what looked to be a law enforcement style baton, also called a 'tonfa'. It seemed like the attack on Chou was just to neutralize him though as the man only struck him once in the face. Rather than continue his attack on the now incapacitated Chou, the masked man dragged the already downed Xander outside the ring. He then threw Xander over the audience divider and began assaulting him with the baton.
This was not an ordinary beating along the lines of what you sometimes see in a pro wrestling show. Rather, it was practically a ritualized evisceration of Xander. The masked man attacked every single limb on Xander's body, focusing on the most vulnerable parts of those limbs. He shoved the baton into both of Xander's knees, eliciting an audible and chilling cracking sound. He then draped Xander's arms over the railing, before slamming down the baton at the point of the extended elbows. Xander crumpled to the floor but the assault on the arms was far from over.
After three very hard strikes to the left shoulder, the masked man secured the tonfa where it last made contact. He then bodyslammed Xander onto the hard floor with the tonfa still in place, wedged in tight between Xander's neck and left shoulder. This maneuver caused Xander's face to turn pale as a ghost right before he passed out. Apparently, and I found this out after the attack, Xander's wrestling career had almost ended in the past due to a badly separated shoulder. I guess this masked man did his homework. However, the fact that Xander passed out seemed to really anger the masked man who started shouting at him to wake up, and shook his head violently to accomplish that very task.
UBL Security finally made it down to ringside at this point but they were met with a major obstacle. It originally seemed as if the location of the attack in that section of the audience was random. But what we first thought were fans who just happened to be in the vicinity revealed themselves to be with the masked man. They formed a moving wall, preventing UBL security from getting around them to stop the attack. I would put forward the theory that the men were employing advanced crowd control techniques that random thugs would not be able to pull off. This was a concerted and planned attack...by professionals. You put the pieces together folks, we all know the players on the board capable of an attack like this. And we know who may have taken exception recently to the comments of Xander's friend, Corey O'Brian. But, sadly, this attack was not over yet, by a long shot.
The noise stemming from the crowd escalation roused Xander from his unconscious state, only for the masked man to smile. He then put the crook of the tonfa over Xander's neck, choking him, and took out some brass knuckles. The masked man rained punches down on Xander head and face, busting him open to a sickening degree. Finally, more UBL security forces, including Goro Yamashita, ran down to ringside to break through the audience wall. The masked man ran off and medics were called to come down to assist Xander who had once again, mercifully, passed out.
We here at UBL would like to formally apologize to the DRAGONSUPLEX Dojo and their owner, Corey O'Brian. For those wondering where he was during the attack, well, we'll get to that later. But for now, let's try to get back to the ring. This was an unsettling way to begin this event and we're all trying to cope with it as the night rolls on.
*John breathes deeply and looks a bit disturbed, but puts his game face back on.*
[John:] "All right, it looks like we're ready for our second match of the evening as Scott Kramer comes out to ringside looking incredibly motivated. He narrowly lost a match during our previous Circuit show against UBL newcomer, and storied English veteran, Archibald Snow. Snow, to his credit, offered Kramer a rematch before the initial match even happened. Though, I'm not sure if arrogance of that kind is really to applaud but I believe the noble gesture of actually living up to the rematch promise speaks louder than the initial intimidation tactic.
Archibald Snow comes out next with his customary look of confidence. Snow has actually been relatively quiet since his debut and victory but Arthur tells me that's because he and Wang Gom-bu went on a climbing expedition to Nepal. Apparently, according to Archibald, Wang was 'getting bored of Bones ducking him.' I put that in quotes so Bones knows that Archibald said it, not me. It's my official position, and it's even on my insurance card, that Bones has never ducked anyone. Let's also hope that Bones didn't hear what Wang said, though I presume it was intended that he would.
Kramer had difficulty with Archibald's technical acumen in their first match. As a result, Kramer made a pilgrimage of his own to Germany to train in the House of Stroheim. I'm assuming they are known more for their battle preparations than their chocolate, since Scott looks more confident and not at all doughy. Kramer has also been back in the FPCPP Dojo training with them. So it's clear that he was only motivated to work harder by his loss to Archibald. But can all those years of Snow's wrestling knowledge be countered by months of recent counter-training? I guess we are about to find out!
Match 2: Scott Cramer vs. Archibald Snow
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[John:] "I don't know what they're doing in Germany, but Kramer must have benefited from it. He really caught on to Snow's style. While Archibald did have control over much of the match, and almost ended it on a few occasions, this was not the same encounter that we saw the first time around. Scott was much more confident and, in the end, Snow had no weapons left to put him away. Kramer rebounded strongly and effectively from his previous loss and I have to say I'm very impressed. This is the best we have seen him in the ring since returning to UBL last year "
Scott Cramer (O) ["Snap Your Neck Suplex"" - 16:00 ] (X) Archibald Snow
*Kramer holds out his hand to Snow who shakes it with no hesitation. He smiles back at Kramer, raising his hand, and bows . Kramer looks a bit taken back by the sincere sportsmanship of Snow but nods his head in approval and walks back to the locker room with a look of determination.*
[John:] "If you like this sport and respect the general idea of competition, you have to love that display. There's no doubt that Snow can be a little arrogant but he's as big a fan of pro wrestling as anyone is. It takes a big man to graciously congratulate someone who just defeated him and Snow proved that he's a giant, even when standing next to the massive Wang Gom-Bu."
*An cryptic commercial airs showing brief one second scenes of various members of Matsuki Holding in wrestling action. The end of the video says: "Matsuki Mobile" coming soon."
[John:] "Uh, was that a cell phone commercial from Matsuki? I don't think I'd want a Matsuki voice assistant guide telling me that 'YOU CANT FIND DIRECTIONS BECAUSE YOU STUPID WHY YOU NO WIN TITLE YET' but so many consumer electronics are an exercise in masochism anyway.
Speaking of masochism, we have to once again put up with a Naja Mask match. Yes, somehow Naja and Nightmare have been invited back to the UBL...again by Marauder, of all people...to wrestle a team I really do want to watch: Agents of the Iron Fist.
The reasoning for this match have not been made entirely clear to me. Every time I ask why this was scheduled, Drake looks a bit sick and Arthur laughs it off, telling me how proud of my 'intrepid journalism' that he is...without giving anything close to a straight answer. I'll just use the standard assumption of 'shenanigans' when such activity occurs here, and maybe even chalk it up to Destiny.
Why? Is that an irresponsible allegation? Perhaps. But the fact that Tyler recently called out Destiny seems almost too much of a coincidence as to why I'm not being given a direct answer here. Maybe it's just paranoia but after years of working in UBL, when I smell smoke, I assume a total conflagration. It hasn't steered me wrong yet. And you better believe if I see any kanji symbols popping up or talk of stapled baseball bats, I'm on the next plane to outer space."
*John clears this throat, regaining his composure.*
[John:] "But I will say this: regardless of the reasoning behind this encounter, it is a compelling match-up. Naja Mask is a former multi-time Universal Champion, each reign with Marauder, and Nightmare's tenure with UBL dates all the way back to the days of Bolt and Thunder Strike. Naja and Nightmare know each other extremely well and have posed a challenge to many top teams. I know that Naja still wrestles around the world a lot and has been quite successful in Azteca Pro Wrestling, one of the homes of Tyler Alexander.
And here's the thing about Tyler Alexander: Folks, you need to hone in on this guy. Tyler is not just one half of the Agents of the Iron Fist, one of the quickest rising teams in UBL today. Tyler is not just the new KPC Jr. Heavyweight Champion, a Title he won from the then undefeated Darius. Tyler Alexander, the holder of the interpromotional S-Crown, is basically the modern equivalent of Ultimo Dragon. Tyler has more Pro Wrestling Championship Titles right now than anyone else in the entire sport. Even when RYOMA held four consecutive Tag Championships, he had about half of what Tyler still has. Tyler has beaten the absolute best in the world but some of the UBL fans don't yet realize it because they aren't paying attention to other promotions. And they should be. Because, like Darius said, we're all in this together. UBL shines when our promotional partners shine, and when our wrestlers shine in those promotions. And right now, I think it's Tyler's time to shine in the UBL and abroad.
So here is what you need to realize: we're not just dealing with a tag team wrestler in Tyler, we're dealing with someone who is already on the NEXUS Championship level but is choosing to currently pursue the Battalion Titles because he prefers to team with his mentor, Goro Yamashita. When Tyler had those words of respect for Darius, and those words of challenge for Destiny, he could back them up. If I'm Snake Mountain, or if I'm Destiny, I'd keep both eyes on Tyler. As for Goro Yamashita, he's more poised than I have ever seen him before. Yes, his war against Jinchuu showed motivation, heart, and passion. But he's finally been able to show what he can do as a competitor in the ring against fellow wrestlers as he and Tyler move up the ranks of the tag division. We've seen many sides of Goro, and this one is my favorite. Dig the threads too, Goro. Let's hope they stay untarnished here.
Because, for those who remember, Naja Mask does not like Goro. Naja and Nightmare brutalized Marauder...yes, they are the ones responsible for much of the more current visible scarring on Marauder's face. After they did that, when Marauder needed someone to watch his back to face them again, Goro was the one he chose. Goro was the one who made sure they didn't hurt him again. And Goro was the one that gave Marauder the confidence and calm to defeat, dominate, and marginalize Naja Mask after the two of them had teamed for years. Goro helped set the Marauder free and that accomplishment can not be understated. So if anyone is responsible for Naja Mask's downfall in the UBL, besides himself, besides Marauder, it's Goro. And you have to believe that he, and Nightmare, are gonna want to prove a point here. The question is, what will Tyler Alexander do to either stop that point, or punish it if it happens. We know Tyler has a history of violence, and he freely admits it. What is his ability to control it when faced with men...snake kabuki people-like men...like these. And what does Naja and Nightmare have left in the tank to take on UBL's most promising new team? Let's find out."
Match 3: Agents of the Iron Fist vs.Snake Mountain
Tyler Alexander/Yamashita Goro vs. Naja Mask/Nightmare
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[John:] "Tyler uses his finisher to pin Nightmare, and does it right in front of Naja's face, no less. Not that Naja Mask has a long history of being loyal to his teammates, but he's not one to back down either. He must have been really drained to not get back in the ring. Or that look Tyler gave Naja as he spiked Nightmare made it clear that Naja would follow suit. A very big win here for the Agents of the Iron Fist as they dispense of two tough, and violent opponents. I know that the Battalion Title scene has been complicated by RYOMA's contendership to the NEXUS and Heavyweight Title, and I know that Tenshi and Lucha La Barba are the #1 contenders, but I don't think the Agents should have to wait much longer to be seen as deserving of a Title shot."
Yamashita Goro/Tyler Alexander (O) ["Dogma of the Damned" - 24:27] (X) Jack Flint/Henry Bailey
*A commercial for NARF is shown which delights and inspires the fans.*
[John:] "We're coming to the main event now, one of historic significance for so many reasons. RYOMA is currently just two victories away from doing something that would make him the most successful UBL wrestler of all time. If RYOMA wins the Heavyweight Title tonight, and then unifies it with the NEXUS Title, he will be the first wrestler to simultaneously be the undisputed singles and Tag Champion here....while also holding Championships in other promotions. Sun & Moon are still the Super Nova Galactic Wrestling Gemini Champions. That would put RYOMA's accomplishments ahead of Orochi Geese's, of Thunder Strike's, of Jack Dod's, of Gene Starr's, of Matt Rivers', and any highly respected singles Champion that we have had.
And that labeling would also include Corey O'Brian, who is RYOMA's opponent tonight. Corey is a former NEXUS Champion who never actually lost the Title. That is one of his reasons for instituting the UBL Heavyweight Championship. He said that, until Joachim defeats him, he is not the true Champion in UBL as Corey never lost the Title when UBL changed hands from Geese to Arthur Wingate. But if RYOMA defeats Corey tonight, then Corey recognizes him as the UBL Heavyweight Champion. No matter who wins this match tonight, you have to believe that they, and Joachim, will want to face each other to remove all doubt as to who the undisputed UBL Champion truly is, regardless of what they call the resulting Title. Maybe the 'Warrior' Championship.
Tonight's bout is actually the third in a planned two out of three match series. Corey won the first one and RYOMA won the second one. Both men have gotten to know each other very well, and not just in the ring. The two have had a duel of warrior philosophy that would inspire Miyamoto Musash and Sun Tsu. And yet, despite the back and forth, despite the college fund that their doctors have been able to set up for their kids based on the head drops in this series, Corey and RYOMA remain very respectful of each other. In fact, maybe despite isn't the word to describe the respect, maybe it's because of.
And that's two words, but my point holds. Corey has been the greatest test that RYOMA has faced in his accomplished but young career. RYOMA has proven himself to be one of the few who can not just endure Corey, but actually defeat him. That is not a club that has an annual gala because there aren't enough members to even rent out a Holiday Inn convention center. When someone defeats Corey O'Brian, and in a Championship situation, it makes the news. RYOMA did so. And he has a real shot at doing it again. But if you can barely find in a haystack the group of people who beat Corey in UBL, you can not find the group who beat him twice in a row. RYOMA wouldn't just be in elite company, he'd be the founder of that business. Other men who tried? 'Majin', Hiro Hirada, and Julian Caesaro. RYOMA would have to do something that none of those men were able to do, beat Corey twice.
But when it comes to milestones, RYOMA seems more than capable of achieving them. This is a man who, with Nobu Nakazawa, simultaneously held four Tag Team Championships at once, beating every team there was to beat in the world. Yes, for two years, and still going strong, Sun & Moon, took over the entire professional wrestling tag team world. They even beat the FPCPP Tag Team Champions in a match, even though it was RYOMA and Nobu's Titles on the line. But still, they beat their reigning Champions. And they beat them while still holding the other four Champions. For my money, that means that Sun & Moon should be credited with five simultaneous reigns. But even though Sun & Moon eventually lost two titles, they still hold two, including the Universal Battalion Titles. RYOMA has gold. And those with gold are more confident than those without gold. RYOMA can make history tonight. But so can Corey.
*John's promotional voice settles down and he looks a bit conflicted.*
[John:] "But they won't be doing it...here. That's right. Corey O'Brian and RYOMA are not in the building tonight. Where they are, I have not been told, other than that it's not here.And that is why Corey could not come to the aid of his best friend, Xander tonight. Because Corey O'Brian and RYOMA are having their Heavyweight Championship match, their UBL Heavyweight Championship match, their #1 Contender to the NEXUS Title match in another arena. Why? Because they aren't stupid. Because a match of this importance is just screaming for interference with those of little honor and great fear.
What I can say is that we will be bringing you a closed-circuit feed on the Battle-Tron. So I invite you to enjoy what is the next step in UBL Championship history, and what will certainly be a match of the ages: a true battle of warriors. Corey, RYOMA, do us proud."
*The Battle-Tron turns on and we see a ring and mat resembling the usual UBL one. We even see a super-imposed animation of a typical UBL audience. It's not real though. The only people that are actually shown in the feed are Corey, RYOMA, and the referee. Corey and RYOMA face each other, shake hands, and go into their respective corners. The referee gets between them, holds up the UBL Heavyweight Championship Title, and starts the match.*
(Be a pal and imagine that this match is in the Dojo or Gym arena rather than in the regular UBL arena that I capped a year ago. And try to forget you saw the ref already too. For once I didn't anticipate something in advance!
)
Match 4: Corey O'Brian vs. RYOMA
Universal Battle League Heavyweight Championship coronation match
Universal Battle League NEXUS Championship #1 contender match
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*The camera goes back to John at Royal Wingate Hall who is clapping his hands.*
[John:] "And your new UBL Heavyweight Champion, Corey O'Brian!!
For those fans keeping close statistics on this type of thing, Corey just defeated RYOMA in twenty seconds more than RYOMA defeated Corey last time. I uh...I suppose that's a minor consolation for RYOMA. What can I say? Drake wants me to keep up with this stuff!"
RYOMA (X) ["Kinniku Buster" - 19:06 ] (O) Corey O' Brian
[John:] "But if you want to know what it takes to put RYOMA away, well Corey just had to pull it out of the folder he has labeled 'DEATH MOVES.' That's the Kinniku Buster, a move that puts people down for good. RYOMA fought valiantly. RYOMA fought like a Champion, but Corey fought like more of one. RYOMA almost put the match away, but Corey actually did it. This may have been RYOMA's best performance ever, but Corey was just a little bit better tonight. If I'm RYOMA, I don't feel an ounce of shame or disappointment in my performance. I just proved, on a national stage with a Title on the line, that I'm one of the best in this promotion and world. But if I'm Corey, the 'one of' part is omitted. He earned that Title. And when it comes time for Joachim to finally face Corey O'Brian, I think destiny is going to be in Corey's favor. I, for one, can not wait to see it happen. And folks, we'll see you back soon."
*The video goes back to the closed circuit video feed showing once again the ring in the undisclosed location. RYOMA has picked up the Title and brought it over to Corey. He hands it to him and they shake hands. RYOMA bows out of respect, and Corey returns the gesture. Then the new UBL Heavyweight Champion, Corey O'Brian, holds his Title up high as the show fades.*
*The Battle Chamber at Royal Wingate Hall has been lit up with anticipation, enthusiasm, and actual illumination! The fans are standing on their feet, a highly usual behavior for bipeds, and are chanting "ubble" over and over again. The camera takes us to the commentary booth where John Randolph is seated with a gracious smile.*
[John:] "Welcome back to the UBL, fans! We have one of the most momentous cards that we have ever had for you on a Circuit Show. That is not hyperbole either. It's an acknowledgement that two of our Championships are being competed for tonight and, in a bizarre twist, the titles themselves are practically competing against each other!
That's right, Joachim is presumably defending his NEXUS Championship against the Marauder. I say 'presumably' because this isn't an officially sanctioned NEXUS Title match, much like the one where Joachim defeated Matt Rivers last year. Instead, this encounter is part of the "Destiny Trial Series". We know that if Joachim beats Marauder in under fifteen minutes, not bloody likely by the way, that Destiny gets to add a new member of theirs to the UBL roster. We know that if he wins after fifteen minutes, nothing of note really happens. Maybe fans get a free straw for their soda...don't hold me to that though. But if Marauder wins, I do not think Joachim is contractually obligated to relinquish his Title. Joachim appears morally obligated but how far will he take that when the prospect of giving up his title actually becomes quite real...like on the other end of a 'Particle Accelerator' powerbomb.
Meanwhile. Corey O'Brian and RYOMA are about to have the third and final match to decide which one of them will become the new, and first, UBL Heavyweight Champion. Corey recently created the Title which has not yet been formally endorsed by Arthur Wingate. But you can't help but empathize with Corey as to his many claims. The only thing I will say in opposition is that Joachim has probably been the most fighting champion ever to hold the NEXUS Title in the history of the belt...that is provided that he actually would have given up the title had he lost any of the matches. But aside from that little detail, we have a UBL Heavyweight Title match as the main event tonight. And we have the NEXUS Title match as the first encounter of the evening. In between that Championship sandwich, or 'Sandwichpionchip' in its native German, is pure creamy peanut buttery action!"
*John is seen to write down "peanut butter" on what appears to be a grocery list.*
[John:] "Uh, sorry..I'm still finding my foods here. Thanks to Jean for the care package full of Skippy though!
Anyway, so depending on who you ask, this match was either a long time coming or a recent phenomena. For those in the latter camp, they point to the aftermath of one of Joachim's Destiny Trial Series victories against Yoshiro. After the match was over, Ruby Moreno proceeded to humiliate an already defeated Yoshiro until Marauder came out. But for those tallying up a larger score, Marauder has long been known as one of the defenders of the UBL. He was instrumental in our defense against Jinchuu and is close friends with Drake Yoshida. And since Destiny is trying to invade us, that sounds awful when I say it out loud, it's only natural that Marauder would seek to end Joachim's NEXUS reign which is the primary leverage that Destiny has over us.
Unfortunately, and not to pile on here, that leverage became greater when Joachim defeated Yoshiro in under fifteen minutes. I'm not sure exactly what the hold-up is, probably due to mind games. but Destiny has not yet formally revealed who their new UBL member will be. I can only assume it's someone who needs a lot of bandages though, given their history of ritual bloodletting. If Marauder can win tonight, and Joachim actually honors his previous statements about relinquishing his Title in the event of a Trial Series loss, this could "stop the bleeding" of the Destiny advantage here.
Can Marauder win? That's a tough question. He's one of the most decorated wrestlers in UBL history, winning the Universal Championship once and being part the dominant half of the Battalion Champions a record six times. And while many questioned whether he could still compete after losing his mask and splitting with Naja Mask, he answered by winning the Battalion Titles with JET Hamada and also being successful in the Super NOVA promotion.
You can not count Marauder out and it's hard to notice if he actually has lost a step since a man that size moving that fast tends to blur the eyes. He's also the biggest and strongest opponent that Joachim has faced. We know that Joachim managed to withstand the high impact but focused offense of Matt Rivers but Marauder has additional megatons to his moves. Yoshiro is a big guy but he doesn't yet have the control or snap that Marauder has in landing his offense. This is physically the biggest test that Joachim has faced on this roster and, to my understanding, in any promotion.
Will Joachim's faith and confidence in himself be enough to rouse him if felled by one of Marauder's specialties? Will Marauder be able to keep this man down for good? Or will the NEXUS Title stick with the man who is a mystery to all of us, but probably isn't all that great for this place just due to the added power that Moreno now has. Marauder, you helped take out Jinchuu, let's see the magic again!"
Destiny Trial series: NEXUS CHAMPIONSHIP (?)
Match 1: Marauder vs. Joachim
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[John:] "Well, I guess we got our answer. Joachim isn't going anywhere for the moment. And honestly, I can't really be mad at him, it's not like he used any dirty tricks. This isn't James Ward or Kyle Walker lighting people on fire. Joachim wrestled a smart and resilient match. You can even say he wrestled a clean match, aside from the blood stains. Joachim kicked out of moves I thought he had no chance against. And, just as importantly, he put Marauder down with the Destiny Driver, the same move that he defeated Matt Rivers with. If he could keep Marauder down, then who can kick out of it? I'm suddenly less optimistic than I was earlier tonight that the Trial Series is going to end any time soon. I guess the best thing that can be said is that Marauder prevented any new roster members from being added as he pushed Joachim past the fifteen minute mark. But given the potential celebratory mood around here tonight, the crowd is discouraged with this outcome. And I can't blame them. No respect to Marauder, but this is no longer a new day for ubble."
Marauder (X) ["Destiny Driver" - 16:14 ] (O) Joachim
*Joachim stands in the corner and patiently waits for Marauder to stand up. Once he is on his feet, Joachim slowly walks over to him, making sure to stay in his field of vision and approach peacefully. Marauder sees him and does not back up. Joachim offers his hand.*
[John:] "Well, this is interesting. I wasn't expecting a display like that. You may not like Joachim but-"
*Marauder looks down, nods his head, and shakes Joachim's hand while looking into his eyes, trying to figure something out.*
[John:] "A wrestler like Marauder is going to respect that in ring display."
*Some of the fans begin to boo but Marauder looks out to the crowd with a fierce look, immediately silencing them.*
[John:] "I don't think they get the type of warrior that the Marauder is. He isn't just fighting for UBL by winning matches, but by showing the type of respect that UBL values after a match like this. He isn't letting his disdain for Destiny stop him from doing what he believes to be the right thing.
The two finish their handshake and walk towards separate directions. Folks, we're gonna go to commercial before the ring gets littered with any more Johnny Bingo Ice Cream bar wrappers! Enjoy 'lost in space lemon' and 'out of this world orange' today!"
*A commerical for Pro-Luta Brasil is shown, and the English fans respond with a football chant.*
[John:] "The legacy of Park's Chippy's endures. I hope the fans know that's a professional wrestling promotion though. Anyway...
*John's expression grows much more serious.*
[John:] "I wanted to take this moment to comment on something that happened earlier tonight, even before the show began. Fans of the business are familiar with the concept of matches occurring before official broadcasts. Some promotions call them 'dark matches' or 'preliminaries' or 'appetizers'...if you're in LAWL. The UBL is no stranger to this business practice. We do this from time to time with wrestlers from other promotions who want to visit and compete in front of our live audience. It is always our privilege to witness these performances and we take the utmost care to ensure the safety of our roster and visitors to our promotion. Most regrettably, we fell short of that standard tonight.
There was an incident before the start of our official broadcast involving Xander Starr, the co-head Trainer of the DRAGONSUPLEX Dojo. Xander is also the currently reigning FLEX Grand Champion of Intense Combat and a very close friend of Corey O'Brian. Those of you with long memories would remember UBL and FLEX working together in the past. For example, Team Moon Gas 200Y, favorites of mine, entertained fans in the UBL when it was centered around the United States.
As Xander was in the midst of wrestling, and controlling, a very entertaining match with UBL newcomer Tsaoring Chou, a masked man came out and attacked both men with what looked to be a law enforcement style baton, also called a 'tonfa'. It seemed like the attack on Chou was just to neutralize him though as the man only struck him once in the face. Rather than continue his attack on the now incapacitated Chou, the masked man dragged the already downed Xander outside the ring. He then threw Xander over the audience divider and began assaulting him with the baton.
This was not an ordinary beating along the lines of what you sometimes see in a pro wrestling show. Rather, it was practically a ritualized evisceration of Xander. The masked man attacked every single limb on Xander's body, focusing on the most vulnerable parts of those limbs. He shoved the baton into both of Xander's knees, eliciting an audible and chilling cracking sound. He then draped Xander's arms over the railing, before slamming down the baton at the point of the extended elbows. Xander crumpled to the floor but the assault on the arms was far from over.
After three very hard strikes to the left shoulder, the masked man secured the tonfa where it last made contact. He then bodyslammed Xander onto the hard floor with the tonfa still in place, wedged in tight between Xander's neck and left shoulder. This maneuver caused Xander's face to turn pale as a ghost right before he passed out. Apparently, and I found this out after the attack, Xander's wrestling career had almost ended in the past due to a badly separated shoulder. I guess this masked man did his homework. However, the fact that Xander passed out seemed to really anger the masked man who started shouting at him to wake up, and shook his head violently to accomplish that very task.
UBL Security finally made it down to ringside at this point but they were met with a major obstacle. It originally seemed as if the location of the attack in that section of the audience was random. But what we first thought were fans who just happened to be in the vicinity revealed themselves to be with the masked man. They formed a moving wall, preventing UBL security from getting around them to stop the attack. I would put forward the theory that the men were employing advanced crowd control techniques that random thugs would not be able to pull off. This was a concerted and planned attack...by professionals. You put the pieces together folks, we all know the players on the board capable of an attack like this. And we know who may have taken exception recently to the comments of Xander's friend, Corey O'Brian. But, sadly, this attack was not over yet, by a long shot.
The noise stemming from the crowd escalation roused Xander from his unconscious state, only for the masked man to smile. He then put the crook of the tonfa over Xander's neck, choking him, and took out some brass knuckles. The masked man rained punches down on Xander head and face, busting him open to a sickening degree. Finally, more UBL security forces, including Goro Yamashita, ran down to ringside to break through the audience wall. The masked man ran off and medics were called to come down to assist Xander who had once again, mercifully, passed out.
We here at UBL would like to formally apologize to the DRAGONSUPLEX Dojo and their owner, Corey O'Brian. For those wondering where he was during the attack, well, we'll get to that later. But for now, let's try to get back to the ring. This was an unsettling way to begin this event and we're all trying to cope with it as the night rolls on.
*John breathes deeply and looks a bit disturbed, but puts his game face back on.*
[John:] "All right, it looks like we're ready for our second match of the evening as Scott Kramer comes out to ringside looking incredibly motivated. He narrowly lost a match during our previous Circuit show against UBL newcomer, and storied English veteran, Archibald Snow. Snow, to his credit, offered Kramer a rematch before the initial match even happened. Though, I'm not sure if arrogance of that kind is really to applaud but I believe the noble gesture of actually living up to the rematch promise speaks louder than the initial intimidation tactic.
Archibald Snow comes out next with his customary look of confidence. Snow has actually been relatively quiet since his debut and victory but Arthur tells me that's because he and Wang Gom-bu went on a climbing expedition to Nepal. Apparently, according to Archibald, Wang was 'getting bored of Bones ducking him.' I put that in quotes so Bones knows that Archibald said it, not me. It's my official position, and it's even on my insurance card, that Bones has never ducked anyone. Let's also hope that Bones didn't hear what Wang said, though I presume it was intended that he would.
Kramer had difficulty with Archibald's technical acumen in their first match. As a result, Kramer made a pilgrimage of his own to Germany to train in the House of Stroheim. I'm assuming they are known more for their battle preparations than their chocolate, since Scott looks more confident and not at all doughy. Kramer has also been back in the FPCPP Dojo training with them. So it's clear that he was only motivated to work harder by his loss to Archibald. But can all those years of Snow's wrestling knowledge be countered by months of recent counter-training? I guess we are about to find out!
Match 2: Scott Cramer vs. Archibald Snow
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[John:] "I don't know what they're doing in Germany, but Kramer must have benefited from it. He really caught on to Snow's style. While Archibald did have control over much of the match, and almost ended it on a few occasions, this was not the same encounter that we saw the first time around. Scott was much more confident and, in the end, Snow had no weapons left to put him away. Kramer rebounded strongly and effectively from his previous loss and I have to say I'm very impressed. This is the best we have seen him in the ring since returning to UBL last year "
Scott Cramer (O) ["Snap Your Neck Suplex"" - 16:00 ] (X) Archibald Snow
*Kramer holds out his hand to Snow who shakes it with no hesitation. He smiles back at Kramer, raising his hand, and bows . Kramer looks a bit taken back by the sincere sportsmanship of Snow but nods his head in approval and walks back to the locker room with a look of determination.*
[John:] "If you like this sport and respect the general idea of competition, you have to love that display. There's no doubt that Snow can be a little arrogant but he's as big a fan of pro wrestling as anyone is. It takes a big man to graciously congratulate someone who just defeated him and Snow proved that he's a giant, even when standing next to the massive Wang Gom-Bu."
*An cryptic commercial airs showing brief one second scenes of various members of Matsuki Holding in wrestling action. The end of the video says: "Matsuki Mobile" coming soon."
[John:] "Uh, was that a cell phone commercial from Matsuki? I don't think I'd want a Matsuki voice assistant guide telling me that 'YOU CANT FIND DIRECTIONS BECAUSE YOU STUPID WHY YOU NO WIN TITLE YET' but so many consumer electronics are an exercise in masochism anyway.
Speaking of masochism, we have to once again put up with a Naja Mask match. Yes, somehow Naja and Nightmare have been invited back to the UBL...again by Marauder, of all people...to wrestle a team I really do want to watch: Agents of the Iron Fist.
The reasoning for this match have not been made entirely clear to me. Every time I ask why this was scheduled, Drake looks a bit sick and Arthur laughs it off, telling me how proud of my 'intrepid journalism' that he is...without giving anything close to a straight answer. I'll just use the standard assumption of 'shenanigans' when such activity occurs here, and maybe even chalk it up to Destiny.
Why? Is that an irresponsible allegation? Perhaps. But the fact that Tyler recently called out Destiny seems almost too much of a coincidence as to why I'm not being given a direct answer here. Maybe it's just paranoia but after years of working in UBL, when I smell smoke, I assume a total conflagration. It hasn't steered me wrong yet. And you better believe if I see any kanji symbols popping up or talk of stapled baseball bats, I'm on the next plane to outer space."
*John clears this throat, regaining his composure.*
[John:] "But I will say this: regardless of the reasoning behind this encounter, it is a compelling match-up. Naja Mask is a former multi-time Universal Champion, each reign with Marauder, and Nightmare's tenure with UBL dates all the way back to the days of Bolt and Thunder Strike. Naja and Nightmare know each other extremely well and have posed a challenge to many top teams. I know that Naja still wrestles around the world a lot and has been quite successful in Azteca Pro Wrestling, one of the homes of Tyler Alexander.
And here's the thing about Tyler Alexander: Folks, you need to hone in on this guy. Tyler is not just one half of the Agents of the Iron Fist, one of the quickest rising teams in UBL today. Tyler is not just the new KPC Jr. Heavyweight Champion, a Title he won from the then undefeated Darius. Tyler Alexander, the holder of the interpromotional S-Crown, is basically the modern equivalent of Ultimo Dragon. Tyler has more Pro Wrestling Championship Titles right now than anyone else in the entire sport. Even when RYOMA held four consecutive Tag Championships, he had about half of what Tyler still has. Tyler has beaten the absolute best in the world but some of the UBL fans don't yet realize it because they aren't paying attention to other promotions. And they should be. Because, like Darius said, we're all in this together. UBL shines when our promotional partners shine, and when our wrestlers shine in those promotions. And right now, I think it's Tyler's time to shine in the UBL and abroad.
So here is what you need to realize: we're not just dealing with a tag team wrestler in Tyler, we're dealing with someone who is already on the NEXUS Championship level but is choosing to currently pursue the Battalion Titles because he prefers to team with his mentor, Goro Yamashita. When Tyler had those words of respect for Darius, and those words of challenge for Destiny, he could back them up. If I'm Snake Mountain, or if I'm Destiny, I'd keep both eyes on Tyler. As for Goro Yamashita, he's more poised than I have ever seen him before. Yes, his war against Jinchuu showed motivation, heart, and passion. But he's finally been able to show what he can do as a competitor in the ring against fellow wrestlers as he and Tyler move up the ranks of the tag division. We've seen many sides of Goro, and this one is my favorite. Dig the threads too, Goro. Let's hope they stay untarnished here.
Because, for those who remember, Naja Mask does not like Goro. Naja and Nightmare brutalized Marauder...yes, they are the ones responsible for much of the more current visible scarring on Marauder's face. After they did that, when Marauder needed someone to watch his back to face them again, Goro was the one he chose. Goro was the one who made sure they didn't hurt him again. And Goro was the one that gave Marauder the confidence and calm to defeat, dominate, and marginalize Naja Mask after the two of them had teamed for years. Goro helped set the Marauder free and that accomplishment can not be understated. So if anyone is responsible for Naja Mask's downfall in the UBL, besides himself, besides Marauder, it's Goro. And you have to believe that he, and Nightmare, are gonna want to prove a point here. The question is, what will Tyler Alexander do to either stop that point, or punish it if it happens. We know Tyler has a history of violence, and he freely admits it. What is his ability to control it when faced with men...snake kabuki people-like men...like these. And what does Naja and Nightmare have left in the tank to take on UBL's most promising new team? Let's find out."
Match 3: Agents of the Iron Fist vs.Snake Mountain
Tyler Alexander/Yamashita Goro vs. Naja Mask/Nightmare
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[John:] "Tyler uses his finisher to pin Nightmare, and does it right in front of Naja's face, no less. Not that Naja Mask has a long history of being loyal to his teammates, but he's not one to back down either. He must have been really drained to not get back in the ring. Or that look Tyler gave Naja as he spiked Nightmare made it clear that Naja would follow suit. A very big win here for the Agents of the Iron Fist as they dispense of two tough, and violent opponents. I know that the Battalion Title scene has been complicated by RYOMA's contendership to the NEXUS and Heavyweight Title, and I know that Tenshi and Lucha La Barba are the #1 contenders, but I don't think the Agents should have to wait much longer to be seen as deserving of a Title shot."
Yamashita Goro/Tyler Alexander (O) ["Dogma of the Damned" - 24:27] (X) Jack Flint/Henry Bailey
*A commercial for NARF is shown which delights and inspires the fans.*
[John:] "We're coming to the main event now, one of historic significance for so many reasons. RYOMA is currently just two victories away from doing something that would make him the most successful UBL wrestler of all time. If RYOMA wins the Heavyweight Title tonight, and then unifies it with the NEXUS Title, he will be the first wrestler to simultaneously be the undisputed singles and Tag Champion here....while also holding Championships in other promotions. Sun & Moon are still the Super Nova Galactic Wrestling Gemini Champions. That would put RYOMA's accomplishments ahead of Orochi Geese's, of Thunder Strike's, of Jack Dod's, of Gene Starr's, of Matt Rivers', and any highly respected singles Champion that we have had.
And that labeling would also include Corey O'Brian, who is RYOMA's opponent tonight. Corey is a former NEXUS Champion who never actually lost the Title. That is one of his reasons for instituting the UBL Heavyweight Championship. He said that, until Joachim defeats him, he is not the true Champion in UBL as Corey never lost the Title when UBL changed hands from Geese to Arthur Wingate. But if RYOMA defeats Corey tonight, then Corey recognizes him as the UBL Heavyweight Champion. No matter who wins this match tonight, you have to believe that they, and Joachim, will want to face each other to remove all doubt as to who the undisputed UBL Champion truly is, regardless of what they call the resulting Title. Maybe the 'Warrior' Championship.
Tonight's bout is actually the third in a planned two out of three match series. Corey won the first one and RYOMA won the second one. Both men have gotten to know each other very well, and not just in the ring. The two have had a duel of warrior philosophy that would inspire Miyamoto Musash and Sun Tsu. And yet, despite the back and forth, despite the college fund that their doctors have been able to set up for their kids based on the head drops in this series, Corey and RYOMA remain very respectful of each other. In fact, maybe despite isn't the word to describe the respect, maybe it's because of.
And that's two words, but my point holds. Corey has been the greatest test that RYOMA has faced in his accomplished but young career. RYOMA has proven himself to be one of the few who can not just endure Corey, but actually defeat him. That is not a club that has an annual gala because there aren't enough members to even rent out a Holiday Inn convention center. When someone defeats Corey O'Brian, and in a Championship situation, it makes the news. RYOMA did so. And he has a real shot at doing it again. But if you can barely find in a haystack the group of people who beat Corey in UBL, you can not find the group who beat him twice in a row. RYOMA wouldn't just be in elite company, he'd be the founder of that business. Other men who tried? 'Majin', Hiro Hirada, and Julian Caesaro. RYOMA would have to do something that none of those men were able to do, beat Corey twice.
But when it comes to milestones, RYOMA seems more than capable of achieving them. This is a man who, with Nobu Nakazawa, simultaneously held four Tag Team Championships at once, beating every team there was to beat in the world. Yes, for two years, and still going strong, Sun & Moon, took over the entire professional wrestling tag team world. They even beat the FPCPP Tag Team Champions in a match, even though it was RYOMA and Nobu's Titles on the line. But still, they beat their reigning Champions. And they beat them while still holding the other four Champions. For my money, that means that Sun & Moon should be credited with five simultaneous reigns. But even though Sun & Moon eventually lost two titles, they still hold two, including the Universal Battalion Titles. RYOMA has gold. And those with gold are more confident than those without gold. RYOMA can make history tonight. But so can Corey.
*John's promotional voice settles down and he looks a bit conflicted.*
[John:] "But they won't be doing it...here. That's right. Corey O'Brian and RYOMA are not in the building tonight. Where they are, I have not been told, other than that it's not here.And that is why Corey could not come to the aid of his best friend, Xander tonight. Because Corey O'Brian and RYOMA are having their Heavyweight Championship match, their UBL Heavyweight Championship match, their #1 Contender to the NEXUS Title match in another arena. Why? Because they aren't stupid. Because a match of this importance is just screaming for interference with those of little honor and great fear.
What I can say is that we will be bringing you a closed-circuit feed on the Battle-Tron. So I invite you to enjoy what is the next step in UBL Championship history, and what will certainly be a match of the ages: a true battle of warriors. Corey, RYOMA, do us proud."
*The Battle-Tron turns on and we see a ring and mat resembling the usual UBL one. We even see a super-imposed animation of a typical UBL audience. It's not real though. The only people that are actually shown in the feed are Corey, RYOMA, and the referee. Corey and RYOMA face each other, shake hands, and go into their respective corners. The referee gets between them, holds up the UBL Heavyweight Championship Title, and starts the match.*
(Be a pal and imagine that this match is in the Dojo or Gym arena rather than in the regular UBL arena that I capped a year ago. And try to forget you saw the ref already too. For once I didn't anticipate something in advance!
)Match 4: Corey O'Brian vs. RYOMA
Universal Battle League Heavyweight Championship coronation match
Universal Battle League NEXUS Championship #1 contender match
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*The camera goes back to John at Royal Wingate Hall who is clapping his hands.*
[John:] "And your new UBL Heavyweight Champion, Corey O'Brian!!
For those fans keeping close statistics on this type of thing, Corey just defeated RYOMA in twenty seconds more than RYOMA defeated Corey last time. I uh...I suppose that's a minor consolation for RYOMA. What can I say? Drake wants me to keep up with this stuff!"
RYOMA (X) ["Kinniku Buster" - 19:06 ] (O) Corey O' Brian
[John:] "But if you want to know what it takes to put RYOMA away, well Corey just had to pull it out of the folder he has labeled 'DEATH MOVES.' That's the Kinniku Buster, a move that puts people down for good. RYOMA fought valiantly. RYOMA fought like a Champion, but Corey fought like more of one. RYOMA almost put the match away, but Corey actually did it. This may have been RYOMA's best performance ever, but Corey was just a little bit better tonight. If I'm RYOMA, I don't feel an ounce of shame or disappointment in my performance. I just proved, on a national stage with a Title on the line, that I'm one of the best in this promotion and world. But if I'm Corey, the 'one of' part is omitted. He earned that Title. And when it comes time for Joachim to finally face Corey O'Brian, I think destiny is going to be in Corey's favor. I, for one, can not wait to see it happen. And folks, we'll see you back soon."
*The video goes back to the closed circuit video feed showing once again the ring in the undisclosed location. RYOMA has picked up the Title and brought it over to Corey. He hands it to him and they shake hands. RYOMA bows out of respect, and Corey returns the gesture. Then the new UBL Heavyweight Champion, Corey O'Brian, holds his Title up high as the show fades.*