First Dimension - February 23, 2020
Feb 23, 2020 3:49:20 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Feb 23, 2020 3:49:20 GMT -5
"The Randolph Report"
Event: "First Dimension”
Date: Saturday, February 23, 2020.
Location: "Peter Venkman Memorial Arena" in Westchester, New York.
Hello fans and welcome to the first Dimension of the Collider Tour. For those confused, check your length, width, and height now. If you can only find one of them, you’re in the first dimension. If you still don’t know what any of this means, you have like a month of announcements that you missed! And while you do catch up, the ring crew will set up for the first match.
(John waits for you to get caught up)
There, now we’re all on the same page…but that page is more like a dot.
(Arthur’s note: Ease up on the dimensional jokes or this turns into another 'base' fiasco.)
Tenshi vs. THRASH Ogawa
We begin tonight’s festivities with a returning member of our roster: Tenshi. For those who have never seen him before, you’re in for a treat. This guy can really move. He teamed with Lucha La Barba a few years ago to become a formidable tag team. They were actually the final team to challenge RYOMA and Nobu Nakazawa during their legendary Universal Battalion Tag Championship reign. While Sun & Moon prevailed, Tenshi and Lucha were impressive in the match and throughout their journey to contendership. Tenshi returns tonight facing THRASH Ogawa – the Universal Circuit Champion who is starting to get a real foothold with that Title. Since defeating Tetsu Gushiken to become Champion, Ogawa has dispatched both Tetsu and Kurt Sanders in a triple threat, and then Brandr Hoff. However, despite not being as accomplished as the others, Tenshi has certain unique gifts. While Tetsu utilizes quick movements, Tenshi is even faster on his feet and takes to the air more often. He also has a very hard head, marking the first time that THRASH may not be able to headbutt an opponent into literal submission. Also, Tenshi is one of the least predictable wrestlers on the roster and his puzzling expression through that face paint is unnerving, at minimum. I would also like to mention that this is the first Universal Circuit Title defense to take place under the new 15 minute time limit. We’ll see if and how that affects the flow of this match, given that both of these guys tend to be rather unorthodox and independent in their approach to rules. Let’s get to the ring!
Universal Circuit Championship
Match 1: Tenshi vs. THRASH Ogawa (c)
Tenshi starts the match by proving that the referee (Drake Yoshida) didn’t do a great job searching each wrestler for international objects. In Drake's defense, he hasn't been on active ref duty in a while. I can't say I know for sure why he picked this match to return but maybe the point is he was needed. After all, once Tenshi pulls a literal soft-baked pretzel (again, literal one, not a euphemism.) from his tights, he offers it to THRASH. Ogawa takes one look at it, shrugs his shoulders, and takes a bite. The crowd gives a collective groan but THRASH nods at Tenshi as apparently it was a well-made pretzel. He hands it back to Tenshi who returns it to his tights. Apparently Tenshi is not too concerned about the expedited nature of the time limit. I can’t say I’m surprised. But this match certainly has taken on a weird musk of its own already.
THRASH motions to Tenshi to give him a minute and slides out of the ring. Okay, I guess we’re going to need a clean-up in aisle ubble but wait…no, this wasn’t a vomit break. (Note: under NY state law, UBL wrestlers get 1 “VB” a match and 2 if they are facing Ralph Ferguson.) Rather, THRASH has just picked up the timekeeper’s bell from outside and has brought it into the ring. Uh, are we about to have the shortest Circuit Title match in history and the first disqualification? Fortunately, no. Instead, it appears that THRASH, in the spirit of gift giving, has returned the gesture to Tenshi with the bell. Tenshi bows and then smashes the ring bell over his own head but to no (visibly) negative effect!! THRASH applauds him and then does the same to his own head. What in blazes is going on here? Are we going to see the first double disqualification? Once again, fortunately, no. As soon as THRASH handed the bell back to Tenshi, Drake wisely takes the bell away and brings it back to the timekeeper.
Is THRASH just playing around because he’s angry about the Collider Tour splitting the roster? Maybe. But it looks like he’s done playing. Because as soon as Drake returns to the ring, THRASH and Tenshi immediately start brawling like a light switch was turned on. You wouldn’t know they were engaged in such tomfoolery moments before due to how fiercely they are fighting now! The crowd is eating this up and you can tell the competitors are enjoying it too given the smiles on their faces. I think these two have earned each other’s respect but there’s still a Title to be fought over as well!
After a few minutes of each man throwing every strike they could imagine, and maybe even some from different dimensions (Arthur: Watch it…), THRASH gets the upper hand with a brutal shotei to Tenshi’s chin that actually (comically) spins him around. THRASH grabs him and delivers the full-nelson face buster that was the turning point in his victory against Brandr.
However, when he hits the diving head butt, which actually defeated Brandr, Tenshi is able to kick out before the bell. That is due to the thickness and resiliency of his head and neck. THRASH helps him up and gestures that they should have a headbutt contest. After about three headbutts from both men, Drake steps in between them and almost receives an accidental con-headbutt-to. Luckily, both Tenshi and THRASH are able to stop the momentum of their heads and Drake walks away unscathed. Tenshi uses the opportunity to strike first and nails a solebutt followed by a chop on THRASH!!
This quick combination earns him a measure of control for the next few minutes. He presses that advantage with a mixture of unorthodox kicks, twisty holds, and a few hurracanranas. He then catches THRASH in a guillotine choke maneuver, modified by a double-arm twist that really resembles a certain salty treat.
Tenshi punctuates this run with an unusual powerbomb/suplex hybrid which I believe he calls the “Pretzel-Plex.”
THRASH is unable to break out until the very last millisecond, saving his title reign.
Both men get to their feet but Tenshi is ready first. He attempts to use a second thrust kick but this one is actually blocked and Tenshi is knocked off balance. THRASH hits with two quick headbutts and then “winds his head up” by stretching it backward. He lunges toward Tenshi with a thrusting headbutt that actually rattles his seemingly impervious head!
It looks like THRASH wins the headbutt battle but he hasn’t won the war yet! Tenshi bounces backward into the turnbuckle, apparently dazed. THRASH grabs Tenshi by the hair, and then violently whips him into the center of the ring!
THRASH covers for the pin and earns the 3-count to end this match and continue his reign.
Tenshi (X) [”WhipThrash” - 12:30] (O) THRASH Ogawa
THRASH helps Tenshi up after the bell and pats him on the back. Joviality has returned and you can count yet another unlikely person on this roster that THRASH respects. Tenshi offers THRASH another bite of the pretzel. THRASH takes the pretzel, places it on the turnbuckle, and then uses his ”Thrashes 2 Ashes” fire-breathing move to cook the pretzel further and hopefully burn all offending bacteria. And you know what…let’s use that cue to take an early intermission!
Soft-baked Pretzels are the popular food item today, with Tenshi’s “Pretzel Monk” trademark adoring them. I tried one with some initial hesitation and can assure you that they are not kept warm in the same way as the one he offered THRASH. They are actually quite good and not like most of the stale, tasteless ones found nearby in Manhattan.
Hijo de Peregrine II/Peregrine II vs. Billy Case vs. Norman Deere
We return to find the debut of one team and the return of another to the Battalion division.
Joining us for the first time is the team known as “Los Peregrines” made up of Peregrine II and Hijo de Peregrine II, They are part of the broader “Peregrine Dynasty.” Drake Yoshida was said to be very impressed by the abilities and poise of this team and I think we’re in for a treat tonight with their debut match.
With the Peregrines constituting a visual treat with their impressive attires, the Barbershop Duet return to grace us yet again with a gift to our ears. Normal Deere and Billy Case were among an early Battalion division of peculiar musical acts joined by other such luminaries as the Rapbots. The Barbershop has one thing going for them – an extremely in sync offense. The two are always on the same page in the ring despite their contrasting personalities. While Norman Deere is more stoic and patient, Billy Case is extremely aggressive and borderline violent. Some would even draw a parallel to Jack Flint of the Swashbucklers. In any case, the Barbershop intends on having a successful gig on its first night back in the UBL ring.
Match 2: Los Peregrines vs. Barbershop Duet
This match was incredible – I encourage all of you to come see us live as soon as you hear Los Peregrines are scheduled to wrestle. Heck, the Barbershop exceeded my expectations of them too. Luckily, I was able to convince Arthur to allow me to show some of the clips that we recorded since there is no way I’m able to do justice to the action between these teams.
The Peregrines strike early with a very fluid double total elimination on Norman Deere!
A few minutes later, the Peregrines use their impressive team work and strategy to isolate Billy Case. However, instinct and experience allow him to reverse into an impressive pin counter before he’s put in a compromising situation early on.
The Barbershop hit a stereo dropkick!
The Peregrines come back utilizing their incredible teamwork. Watch this closely - see how they control spacing, as they surround Billy Case with a progression of moves from two different angles.
Despite Norman Deere entering the ring fresh, he immediately falls prey to Peregrine teamwork. Notice the quick tags that allow each Peregrine to stay relatively unscathed against their opponent’s strategy. They dominate Norman then follow up with a beautiful dive off the post. Their combination of tag team moves into singles moves are unprecedented here.
Here is some more great teamwork in the corner by the Peregrines.
I am stunned at how well they work together and provide a balance between speed and power. To me, this is where the Peregrines truky made their mark in this match and on the minds of the fans watching.
However, the Barbershop Duet was not to be outdone. They showed their own ability to harmonize!
They are able to follow up the momentum as well. Here Billy reverses a potentially decisive apron grapple, allowing Norman Deere to then hit a big diving elbow for a 2 count. The Duet shined in this match with a number of defensive counters.
However, the Peregrines get their momentum back in a big way with this combination of…well, just watch for yourself!
That earns them a two count of their own but they aren’t satisfied with that.
Watch this beautiful, and rhythmic, hip swivel into a hurracanrana for another near fall!
Norman Deere manages to take control and scores with a powerful, elevated German suplex for a 2.9 count.
Billy Case appears to be frustrated that his team hasn’t won yet and showcases that violent side to the jeers of the fans.
Billy Case flees after getting double teamed in retaliation. He tags out, hoping Norman Deere will finish the job. But an angry Hijo de Peregrine II hits a spanish fly into a stunning, standing shooting star press!
This near miraculous feat earns Los Peregrines the impressive victory in their debut!
Hijo de Peregrine II/Peregrine II (O) [Shooting Star Press - 28:35] (X) Norman Deere/Billy Case
The hot item selling at the merchandise table is not the Barbershop Duet’s classic album: “Pole and Soul.” Instead, Basic Training shirts and classic Marauder shirts are flying off the shelf as a result of the BT-3D event. Incidentally, I’m not sure that we should be selling anything called ‘Pole and Soul” but I’ll let our team of lawyers handle that.
Jakob of Furis vs. APEX
Speaking of the law, we may need some police in riot gear to stand guard during and after the next match. Jakob of Furis has been challenged by Jarec of Gauntlet Security to face the thing known as “APEX” which used to go by the name of Jeff Monroe. I’m not sure what kind of protein bars this guy is consuming but he grew significantly in height and muscle mass from the last time we saw him before Catalyst, which was incidentally against Jakob of Furis. Even more disturbingly, Jeff’s skin has started to turn grey and sickly. Hell, even Furis may look healthy in comparison and, believe me, that was not an easy thing to write. I don’t know what Jarec and Gauntlet are doing, but it seems completely removed from Destiny at this point. Moreno has taken herself off of the UBL radar completely and Joachim’s vision for Destiny has never included the type of mercenary leadership that Jarec espouses. So whatever is happening to Jeff and Jack Monroe, now called the “Summit,” is behind closed doors.
The question I have, the primary question, is why did Furis agree to take this match on if he already defeated him a few months ago? I know that he suspects that his mentor and caretaker, Dr. Schassberg, is being kept behind closed doors of Jarec, and being kept against his will. But if Furis is hoping to gain insight about Schassberg’s condition or location as a result of this match, he hasn't indicated how he'd do so. Winning yet another match won't give him the leverage he needs to receive that information since no stipulations were indicated. Furthermore, he doesn’t have the same physical leverage against APEX that he did against Jeff Monroe. When they last faced off, Jeff was the underdog. But with the sheer size and aggression that he has added since then, I think it’s Furis who may not have a dark prayer here. And I don’t say that based on my previous issues with him. It's clear when you look at that he is a troubling creature. It’s also becoming frighteningly apparent that Jarec is a more dangerous influencer then Moreno ever was. She at least showed some restraint and had motives related to winning and dominance. Jarec’s motivations are hard to gleam but I have a bad feeling about all of this. I don't think Furis has anything to gain but he has everything to lose. I hope someone is looking out for him, I truly do.
Both men come down to the ring in their own haunting way. Furis is in his usual state of intense concentration but appears to have an extra chip on his shoulder. APEX looks even bigger than he did last time. He's basically 250 pounds of sculpted muscle and sporting an even paler, almost grey, shade of skin. That isn't tan, no natural sun can do that to a person.
Match 3: Jakob of Furis vs. APEX
Furis goes on the offensive as soon as the match starts but APEX is able to reverse his mount.
After a quick knock down, Furis attempts to mount APEX once again but is repelled by his strength.
Furis is getting frustrated but, to his credit or naivety, will not be dissuaded from attempting to ground APEX.
Furis is now enraged and snaps, indicating the end of the brief section of the match where no one was in grave danger. After jumping at APEX, Furis begins biting his face, scoring first for what is sure to be a bloodbath! Of note, and of relative comfort, is that APEX actually bleeds red and now like charcoal or something. Hey, look at him, would you be surprised!?
APEX shrugs it off, rushes Furis and whips him into the corner. Oh no, he begins to press slam him…
Furis is very slow to get up from the hard floor while APEX just waits for him in the ring. It doesn't appear as if that press slam took any exertion by APEX. Eventually, Furis is able to crawl back inside to beat the count at 15. But APEX is ready and grabs him by the back of the head, walking him over to the corner. I think APEX may have had orders by Jarec to end this early cause he’s going very big right now with what he's attempting. Jeff Monroe used to have a top rope exploder and my guess is APEX utilizes a similar move. However, he doesn't get the chance to show it off.
Furis earns himself a breather with that reversal! Now it’s his turn to press the advantage by choking the life out of APEX. This would usually be a very effective strategy, especially with APEX bleeding all over the place.
However, despite this assault, APEX is still able to stand up easily and get his legs under him. He scoops Furis up in what looks to be the F5 that he used when he was Jeff Monroe. However, Furis has apparently been training even harder with Darius than we realized and actually counters with an arm submission!
APEX is caught and looks disoriented for a moment but instictively powers his way to the ropes. The ref admonishes Furis to break the hold but to no avail. However, APEX continues moving his body, sliding outside the ring, with Furis still attached!! This sends Furis crashing down to the floor, re-injuring his back from before. APEX is up first and waits for Furis to rise…
Furis had the wind knocked out of him on that and was once again sent hard to that arena floor! APEX picks Furis up onto his shoulder and then walks around the ring. I don’t know where he’s taking him, but it appears to be up the entrance ramp. Is he going to vamp-nap him? No, that’s not a word. But also, he places Furis on his feet even though he’s still wobbly from the spear. Then APEX runs at him with a sharp elbow to the face, busting him open and likely giving him some whiplash.
APEX picks Furis up, irish whips him to the BattleTron, and runs up right behind him for another punishing spear.
Furis is not looking good right now. He's reduced to crawling since he can't stand up due to the abuse his lower back has taken. APEX hoists him up again and right back onto his shoulders like before. It looks like he’s going to try that F5 again…
That did it - Furis is clearly injured now. It looks like he fell hard onto his face at a bad angle and that hurt his neck.
Throughout this all, Eiji Yoshida’s count has still been running. However, right before he counts to 20, APEX’s partner the Summit jumped out of the crowd. I think he either distracted or outright threatened Eiji has he stopped counting. APEX then drags an unconscious Furis from the floor back to the ring, leaving a trail of blood. He press slams him into the ring, causing a sickening thud as Furis lands face first again. APEX gets into the ring, and covers Furis for the easy, and decisive, victory.
Jakob of Furis (X) [”A-PEX” – 22:30] (O) APEX
It looks like APEX isn’t done though, especially now that Summit has joined him. However, before any more damage can be done to Furis, his surprising ally Darius runs out to the ring. He’s already outmatched but that doesn’t seem to be stopping him. APEX kicks Furis out of the ring as Darius gets closer, adding insult to injury. Before the numbers game can actually set in against Darius, we’re joined by yet another person on the ramp. He’s absolutely massive and is running down to the ring. I could be wrong – but that looks a helluva lot like Viktor Katona, the guy who injured Joachim a few years ago.
I have no idea why he’s here, but it seems that he’s coming to the aid of Darius. This brings more questions than it answers, as far as I’m concerned. But I’m considerably less confused than the Summit is, since he's the first target of Viktor’s…
Despite its namesake, I’ve never seen an axe kick cut someone open like that. The fans gasp as Summit begins gushing blood from his chest and neck. Oddly, APEX's own blood flow has stopped for now. As Darius struggles with APEX, Viktor comes over to help out. He whips APEX to the ropes and then kicks him the hell out of the ring!!
Darius tosses Summit out with a belly to belly suplex. They have cleared the ring. Jarec suddenly appears from the crowd and stops his goons from getting back into the ring. He points to the ramp where Jang Bae walks to the ring with a very concerned look on his face. I can’t say I fully understand why Jang is here – oh wait, now I know. Look who just came out.
Joachim makes a bee line toward Viktor but Jang puts his hand out, urging caution. That’s probably why Jang came out first. He immediately recognized Joachim’s attacker and knew what was going to happen.
Meanwhile, Jarec begins laughing. He cackles so loud that all four men in the ring look at him. Jarec points to his own head, apparently admiring his own handiwork, and then leaves with APEX and Summit in tow. Joachim remains in a tense standoff with Viktor and Darius the middle of the ring while Furis lays unconscious on the outside. Darius seems to want to check on Furis but is wary of allowing Viktor to be in the ring alone with Joachim and Jang Bae.
Finally, Thunder Strike leads UBL security to the ring to break up this confrontation before it turns violent. He nods to Jang, who actually appears to returns the gesture, as he gets in the middle of the four men. Given that Jang was trying to play peacekeeper here, it certainly made Thunder's job easier. He gets Joachim's attention and points to the retreating Jarec, trying to signal that he’s the enemy here. But Joachim is as angry as we’ve ever seen him and glares at Viktor as he leaves the ring. A team of UBL medics also arrive to tend to Furis and it seems that stability has finally returned, just in time for tonight’s show to end.
We’ll see you next month for the first event of the Continuum stream Universal Champions League!
Event: "First Dimension”
Date: Saturday, February 23, 2020.
Location: "Peter Venkman Memorial Arena" in Westchester, New York.
Hello fans and welcome to the first Dimension of the Collider Tour. For those confused, check your length, width, and height now. If you can only find one of them, you’re in the first dimension. If you still don’t know what any of this means, you have like a month of announcements that you missed! And while you do catch up, the ring crew will set up for the first match.
(John waits for you to get caught up)
There, now we’re all on the same page…but that page is more like a dot.
(Arthur’s note: Ease up on the dimensional jokes or this turns into another 'base' fiasco.)
Tenshi vs. THRASH Ogawa
We begin tonight’s festivities with a returning member of our roster: Tenshi. For those who have never seen him before, you’re in for a treat. This guy can really move. He teamed with Lucha La Barba a few years ago to become a formidable tag team. They were actually the final team to challenge RYOMA and Nobu Nakazawa during their legendary Universal Battalion Tag Championship reign. While Sun & Moon prevailed, Tenshi and Lucha were impressive in the match and throughout their journey to contendership. Tenshi returns tonight facing THRASH Ogawa – the Universal Circuit Champion who is starting to get a real foothold with that Title. Since defeating Tetsu Gushiken to become Champion, Ogawa has dispatched both Tetsu and Kurt Sanders in a triple threat, and then Brandr Hoff. However, despite not being as accomplished as the others, Tenshi has certain unique gifts. While Tetsu utilizes quick movements, Tenshi is even faster on his feet and takes to the air more often. He also has a very hard head, marking the first time that THRASH may not be able to headbutt an opponent into literal submission. Also, Tenshi is one of the least predictable wrestlers on the roster and his puzzling expression through that face paint is unnerving, at minimum. I would also like to mention that this is the first Universal Circuit Title defense to take place under the new 15 minute time limit. We’ll see if and how that affects the flow of this match, given that both of these guys tend to be rather unorthodox and independent in their approach to rules. Let’s get to the ring!
Universal Circuit Championship
Match 1: Tenshi vs. THRASH Ogawa (c)
Tenshi starts the match by proving that the referee (Drake Yoshida) didn’t do a great job searching each wrestler for international objects. In Drake's defense, he hasn't been on active ref duty in a while. I can't say I know for sure why he picked this match to return but maybe the point is he was needed. After all, once Tenshi pulls a literal soft-baked pretzel (again, literal one, not a euphemism.) from his tights, he offers it to THRASH. Ogawa takes one look at it, shrugs his shoulders, and takes a bite. The crowd gives a collective groan but THRASH nods at Tenshi as apparently it was a well-made pretzel. He hands it back to Tenshi who returns it to his tights. Apparently Tenshi is not too concerned about the expedited nature of the time limit. I can’t say I’m surprised. But this match certainly has taken on a weird musk of its own already.
THRASH motions to Tenshi to give him a minute and slides out of the ring. Okay, I guess we’re going to need a clean-up in aisle ubble but wait…no, this wasn’t a vomit break. (Note: under NY state law, UBL wrestlers get 1 “VB” a match and 2 if they are facing Ralph Ferguson.) Rather, THRASH has just picked up the timekeeper’s bell from outside and has brought it into the ring. Uh, are we about to have the shortest Circuit Title match in history and the first disqualification? Fortunately, no. Instead, it appears that THRASH, in the spirit of gift giving, has returned the gesture to Tenshi with the bell. Tenshi bows and then smashes the ring bell over his own head but to no (visibly) negative effect!! THRASH applauds him and then does the same to his own head. What in blazes is going on here? Are we going to see the first double disqualification? Once again, fortunately, no. As soon as THRASH handed the bell back to Tenshi, Drake wisely takes the bell away and brings it back to the timekeeper.
Is THRASH just playing around because he’s angry about the Collider Tour splitting the roster? Maybe. But it looks like he’s done playing. Because as soon as Drake returns to the ring, THRASH and Tenshi immediately start brawling like a light switch was turned on. You wouldn’t know they were engaged in such tomfoolery moments before due to how fiercely they are fighting now! The crowd is eating this up and you can tell the competitors are enjoying it too given the smiles on their faces. I think these two have earned each other’s respect but there’s still a Title to be fought over as well!
After a few minutes of each man throwing every strike they could imagine, and maybe even some from different dimensions (Arthur: Watch it…), THRASH gets the upper hand with a brutal shotei to Tenshi’s chin that actually (comically) spins him around. THRASH grabs him and delivers the full-nelson face buster that was the turning point in his victory against Brandr.
However, when he hits the diving head butt, which actually defeated Brandr, Tenshi is able to kick out before the bell. That is due to the thickness and resiliency of his head and neck. THRASH helps him up and gestures that they should have a headbutt contest. After about three headbutts from both men, Drake steps in between them and almost receives an accidental con-headbutt-to. Luckily, both Tenshi and THRASH are able to stop the momentum of their heads and Drake walks away unscathed. Tenshi uses the opportunity to strike first and nails a solebutt followed by a chop on THRASH!!
This quick combination earns him a measure of control for the next few minutes. He presses that advantage with a mixture of unorthodox kicks, twisty holds, and a few hurracanranas. He then catches THRASH in a guillotine choke maneuver, modified by a double-arm twist that really resembles a certain salty treat.
Tenshi punctuates this run with an unusual powerbomb/suplex hybrid which I believe he calls the “Pretzel-Plex.”
THRASH is unable to break out until the very last millisecond, saving his title reign.
Both men get to their feet but Tenshi is ready first. He attempts to use a second thrust kick but this one is actually blocked and Tenshi is knocked off balance. THRASH hits with two quick headbutts and then “winds his head up” by stretching it backward. He lunges toward Tenshi with a thrusting headbutt that actually rattles his seemingly impervious head!
It looks like THRASH wins the headbutt battle but he hasn’t won the war yet! Tenshi bounces backward into the turnbuckle, apparently dazed. THRASH grabs Tenshi by the hair, and then violently whips him into the center of the ring!
THRASH covers for the pin and earns the 3-count to end this match and continue his reign.
Tenshi (X) [”WhipThrash” - 12:30] (O) THRASH Ogawa
THRASH helps Tenshi up after the bell and pats him on the back. Joviality has returned and you can count yet another unlikely person on this roster that THRASH respects. Tenshi offers THRASH another bite of the pretzel. THRASH takes the pretzel, places it on the turnbuckle, and then uses his ”Thrashes 2 Ashes” fire-breathing move to cook the pretzel further and hopefully burn all offending bacteria. And you know what…let’s use that cue to take an early intermission!
Soft-baked Pretzels are the popular food item today, with Tenshi’s “Pretzel Monk” trademark adoring them. I tried one with some initial hesitation and can assure you that they are not kept warm in the same way as the one he offered THRASH. They are actually quite good and not like most of the stale, tasteless ones found nearby in Manhattan.
Hijo de Peregrine II/Peregrine II vs. Billy Case vs. Norman Deere
We return to find the debut of one team and the return of another to the Battalion division.
Joining us for the first time is the team known as “Los Peregrines” made up of Peregrine II and Hijo de Peregrine II, They are part of the broader “Peregrine Dynasty.” Drake Yoshida was said to be very impressed by the abilities and poise of this team and I think we’re in for a treat tonight with their debut match.
With the Peregrines constituting a visual treat with their impressive attires, the Barbershop Duet return to grace us yet again with a gift to our ears. Normal Deere and Billy Case were among an early Battalion division of peculiar musical acts joined by other such luminaries as the Rapbots. The Barbershop has one thing going for them – an extremely in sync offense. The two are always on the same page in the ring despite their contrasting personalities. While Norman Deere is more stoic and patient, Billy Case is extremely aggressive and borderline violent. Some would even draw a parallel to Jack Flint of the Swashbucklers. In any case, the Barbershop intends on having a successful gig on its first night back in the UBL ring.
Match 2: Los Peregrines vs. Barbershop Duet
This match was incredible – I encourage all of you to come see us live as soon as you hear Los Peregrines are scheduled to wrestle. Heck, the Barbershop exceeded my expectations of them too. Luckily, I was able to convince Arthur to allow me to show some of the clips that we recorded since there is no way I’m able to do justice to the action between these teams.
The Peregrines strike early with a very fluid double total elimination on Norman Deere!
A few minutes later, the Peregrines use their impressive team work and strategy to isolate Billy Case. However, instinct and experience allow him to reverse into an impressive pin counter before he’s put in a compromising situation early on.
The Barbershop hit a stereo dropkick!
The Peregrines come back utilizing their incredible teamwork. Watch this closely - see how they control spacing, as they surround Billy Case with a progression of moves from two different angles.
Despite Norman Deere entering the ring fresh, he immediately falls prey to Peregrine teamwork. Notice the quick tags that allow each Peregrine to stay relatively unscathed against their opponent’s strategy. They dominate Norman then follow up with a beautiful dive off the post. Their combination of tag team moves into singles moves are unprecedented here.
Here is some more great teamwork in the corner by the Peregrines.
I am stunned at how well they work together and provide a balance between speed and power. To me, this is where the Peregrines truky made their mark in this match and on the minds of the fans watching.
However, the Barbershop Duet was not to be outdone. They showed their own ability to harmonize!
They are able to follow up the momentum as well. Here Billy reverses a potentially decisive apron grapple, allowing Norman Deere to then hit a big diving elbow for a 2 count. The Duet shined in this match with a number of defensive counters.
However, the Peregrines get their momentum back in a big way with this combination of…well, just watch for yourself!
That earns them a two count of their own but they aren’t satisfied with that.
Watch this beautiful, and rhythmic, hip swivel into a hurracanrana for another near fall!
Norman Deere manages to take control and scores with a powerful, elevated German suplex for a 2.9 count.
Billy Case appears to be frustrated that his team hasn’t won yet and showcases that violent side to the jeers of the fans.
Billy Case flees after getting double teamed in retaliation. He tags out, hoping Norman Deere will finish the job. But an angry Hijo de Peregrine II hits a spanish fly into a stunning, standing shooting star press!
This near miraculous feat earns Los Peregrines the impressive victory in their debut!
Hijo de Peregrine II/Peregrine II (O) [Shooting Star Press - 28:35] (X) Norman Deere/Billy Case
The hot item selling at the merchandise table is not the Barbershop Duet’s classic album: “Pole and Soul.” Instead, Basic Training shirts and classic Marauder shirts are flying off the shelf as a result of the BT-3D event. Incidentally, I’m not sure that we should be selling anything called ‘Pole and Soul” but I’ll let our team of lawyers handle that.
Jakob of Furis vs. APEX
Speaking of the law, we may need some police in riot gear to stand guard during and after the next match. Jakob of Furis has been challenged by Jarec of Gauntlet Security to face the thing known as “APEX” which used to go by the name of Jeff Monroe. I’m not sure what kind of protein bars this guy is consuming but he grew significantly in height and muscle mass from the last time we saw him before Catalyst, which was incidentally against Jakob of Furis. Even more disturbingly, Jeff’s skin has started to turn grey and sickly. Hell, even Furis may look healthy in comparison and, believe me, that was not an easy thing to write. I don’t know what Jarec and Gauntlet are doing, but it seems completely removed from Destiny at this point. Moreno has taken herself off of the UBL radar completely and Joachim’s vision for Destiny has never included the type of mercenary leadership that Jarec espouses. So whatever is happening to Jeff and Jack Monroe, now called the “Summit,” is behind closed doors.
The question I have, the primary question, is why did Furis agree to take this match on if he already defeated him a few months ago? I know that he suspects that his mentor and caretaker, Dr. Schassberg, is being kept behind closed doors of Jarec, and being kept against his will. But if Furis is hoping to gain insight about Schassberg’s condition or location as a result of this match, he hasn't indicated how he'd do so. Winning yet another match won't give him the leverage he needs to receive that information since no stipulations were indicated. Furthermore, he doesn’t have the same physical leverage against APEX that he did against Jeff Monroe. When they last faced off, Jeff was the underdog. But with the sheer size and aggression that he has added since then, I think it’s Furis who may not have a dark prayer here. And I don’t say that based on my previous issues with him. It's clear when you look at that he is a troubling creature. It’s also becoming frighteningly apparent that Jarec is a more dangerous influencer then Moreno ever was. She at least showed some restraint and had motives related to winning and dominance. Jarec’s motivations are hard to gleam but I have a bad feeling about all of this. I don't think Furis has anything to gain but he has everything to lose. I hope someone is looking out for him, I truly do.
Both men come down to the ring in their own haunting way. Furis is in his usual state of intense concentration but appears to have an extra chip on his shoulder. APEX looks even bigger than he did last time. He's basically 250 pounds of sculpted muscle and sporting an even paler, almost grey, shade of skin. That isn't tan, no natural sun can do that to a person.
Match 3: Jakob of Furis vs. APEX
Furis goes on the offensive as soon as the match starts but APEX is able to reverse his mount.
After a quick knock down, Furis attempts to mount APEX once again but is repelled by his strength.
Furis is getting frustrated but, to his credit or naivety, will not be dissuaded from attempting to ground APEX.
Furis is now enraged and snaps, indicating the end of the brief section of the match where no one was in grave danger. After jumping at APEX, Furis begins biting his face, scoring first for what is sure to be a bloodbath! Of note, and of relative comfort, is that APEX actually bleeds red and now like charcoal or something. Hey, look at him, would you be surprised!?
APEX shrugs it off, rushes Furis and whips him into the corner. Oh no, he begins to press slam him…
Furis is very slow to get up from the hard floor while APEX just waits for him in the ring. It doesn't appear as if that press slam took any exertion by APEX. Eventually, Furis is able to crawl back inside to beat the count at 15. But APEX is ready and grabs him by the back of the head, walking him over to the corner. I think APEX may have had orders by Jarec to end this early cause he’s going very big right now with what he's attempting. Jeff Monroe used to have a top rope exploder and my guess is APEX utilizes a similar move. However, he doesn't get the chance to show it off.
Furis earns himself a breather with that reversal! Now it’s his turn to press the advantage by choking the life out of APEX. This would usually be a very effective strategy, especially with APEX bleeding all over the place.
However, despite this assault, APEX is still able to stand up easily and get his legs under him. He scoops Furis up in what looks to be the F5 that he used when he was Jeff Monroe. However, Furis has apparently been training even harder with Darius than we realized and actually counters with an arm submission!
APEX is caught and looks disoriented for a moment but instictively powers his way to the ropes. The ref admonishes Furis to break the hold but to no avail. However, APEX continues moving his body, sliding outside the ring, with Furis still attached!! This sends Furis crashing down to the floor, re-injuring his back from before. APEX is up first and waits for Furis to rise…
Furis had the wind knocked out of him on that and was once again sent hard to that arena floor! APEX picks Furis up onto his shoulder and then walks around the ring. I don’t know where he’s taking him, but it appears to be up the entrance ramp. Is he going to vamp-nap him? No, that’s not a word. But also, he places Furis on his feet even though he’s still wobbly from the spear. Then APEX runs at him with a sharp elbow to the face, busting him open and likely giving him some whiplash.
APEX picks Furis up, irish whips him to the BattleTron, and runs up right behind him for another punishing spear.
Furis is not looking good right now. He's reduced to crawling since he can't stand up due to the abuse his lower back has taken. APEX hoists him up again and right back onto his shoulders like before. It looks like he’s going to try that F5 again…
That did it - Furis is clearly injured now. It looks like he fell hard onto his face at a bad angle and that hurt his neck.
Throughout this all, Eiji Yoshida’s count has still been running. However, right before he counts to 20, APEX’s partner the Summit jumped out of the crowd. I think he either distracted or outright threatened Eiji has he stopped counting. APEX then drags an unconscious Furis from the floor back to the ring, leaving a trail of blood. He press slams him into the ring, causing a sickening thud as Furis lands face first again. APEX gets into the ring, and covers Furis for the easy, and decisive, victory.
Jakob of Furis (X) [”A-PEX” – 22:30] (O) APEX
It looks like APEX isn’t done though, especially now that Summit has joined him. However, before any more damage can be done to Furis, his surprising ally Darius runs out to the ring. He’s already outmatched but that doesn’t seem to be stopping him. APEX kicks Furis out of the ring as Darius gets closer, adding insult to injury. Before the numbers game can actually set in against Darius, we’re joined by yet another person on the ramp. He’s absolutely massive and is running down to the ring. I could be wrong – but that looks a helluva lot like Viktor Katona, the guy who injured Joachim a few years ago.
I have no idea why he’s here, but it seems that he’s coming to the aid of Darius. This brings more questions than it answers, as far as I’m concerned. But I’m considerably less confused than the Summit is, since he's the first target of Viktor’s…
Despite its namesake, I’ve never seen an axe kick cut someone open like that. The fans gasp as Summit begins gushing blood from his chest and neck. Oddly, APEX's own blood flow has stopped for now. As Darius struggles with APEX, Viktor comes over to help out. He whips APEX to the ropes and then kicks him the hell out of the ring!!
Darius tosses Summit out with a belly to belly suplex. They have cleared the ring. Jarec suddenly appears from the crowd and stops his goons from getting back into the ring. He points to the ramp where Jang Bae walks to the ring with a very concerned look on his face. I can’t say I fully understand why Jang is here – oh wait, now I know. Look who just came out.
Joachim makes a bee line toward Viktor but Jang puts his hand out, urging caution. That’s probably why Jang came out first. He immediately recognized Joachim’s attacker and knew what was going to happen.
Meanwhile, Jarec begins laughing. He cackles so loud that all four men in the ring look at him. Jarec points to his own head, apparently admiring his own handiwork, and then leaves with APEX and Summit in tow. Joachim remains in a tense standoff with Viktor and Darius the middle of the ring while Furis lays unconscious on the outside. Darius seems to want to check on Furis but is wary of allowing Viktor to be in the ring alone with Joachim and Jang Bae.
Finally, Thunder Strike leads UBL security to the ring to break up this confrontation before it turns violent. He nods to Jang, who actually appears to returns the gesture, as he gets in the middle of the four men. Given that Jang was trying to play peacekeeper here, it certainly made Thunder's job easier. He gets Joachim's attention and points to the retreating Jarec, trying to signal that he’s the enemy here. But Joachim is as angry as we’ve ever seen him and glares at Viktor as he leaves the ring. A team of UBL medics also arrive to tend to Furis and it seems that stability has finally returned, just in time for tonight’s show to end.
We’ll see you next month for the first event of the Continuum stream Universal Champions League!