El Exilio: Twilight Zone
May 30, 2020 1:49:21 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on May 30, 2020 1:49:21 GMT -5
*The promo opens with what appears to be a piece of grey paper with a cut out in it the shape of a question mark. The piece of paper is being moved around slowly while a voice sings: "doodoo doodoo doodoo doodoo" in a faux-ominous tone. The same voice then delivers this message:*
"There is a dimensional stream beyond that which is remembered by man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as endless as the Infinity Continuum League. It is the middle ground between the under card and the main event, between King's Road and Strong Style, and it lies between the pit of Ralph Ferguson's arms and the Summit of Destiny's HGH experiments. This is the dimension of imagination...because all we can do is f'n wonder whether or not it will ever present more events. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone."
*After a few seconds, the piece of paper is then ripped apart down the middle. This opens up the camera's field of vision to reveal El Pálido Fantasma and Yoshirozuna: collectively known as El Exilio.*
[Pálido:] "Hey, remember us? The former Universal Battalion Champions that deserve our rematch after getting cheated out of our Titles at 'ALL YOUR BASE?'" The UBL sure doesn't."
[Yoshirozuna:] "We couldn't get an interviewer or a camera crew for the past month because they are too busy promoting the Continuum stream. Even two weeks after the first show, it's all UBL can seem to focus on."
[Pálido:] "Maybe the Dimensional stream really does lead to the Twilight Zone."
[Yoshirozuna:] "I mean, you gotta see it from Wingate's perspective though, right? It's not like creating a new Championship in a convoluted tournament is something that happens every two years in this place?"
[Pálido:] "Hell no to that. Just look at the Universal Circuit Title. It hasn't run out of steam yet, right?"
[Yoshirozuna:] "Nah, the 'new car smell' was already off that thing the second Sanders sh*t all over it. I hate to say it, cause THRASH is one of the few guys I like in this place, but his title is worthless."
[Pálido:] "And I'm sure the Infinite Continuum Title will join it when Yoshida creams over the 'Eternal Equilibrium Title" that Geese drunk dials him to suggest in 2022."
[Yoshirozuna:] "You think the Champions League will even be over by then!?"
[Pálido:] "Hell no, I just think they'll lose interest and sh*t out some new gold."
[Yoshirozuna:] "I'm sure Woodruff will taste test its credibility."
[Pálido:] "Unless he just became Langford's new wet nurse."
*Yoshirozuna laughs but then looks deadly serious for a second and stares at the camera.*
[Yoshirozuna:] "Tetsu Gushiken - I always liked your style. You and I have now have something in common. We both f*cked up a member of Three of a Kind. Now, if you have half the conscience I figure you do, the last two weeks haven't been great for you. I guess we're about to see whether RYOMA and Saji are a better support system than Barton and JET ever were."
[Pálido:] "So, looks like two streams just crossed in the Twilight Zone."
[Yoshirozuna:] "How you figure?"
[Pálido:] "I was just about to say what hypocritical bullsh*t it is that you are still hated for injuring Sanders and ending Barton's career using a legal wrestling move while Naja gets celebrated for almost blinding you at 'All your Base."
[Yoshirozuna:] "Not just a legal move, but Barton's own finisher. Hey Yoshida - if it wasn't safe, why did you let him use it for 20 f'n years?"
[Pálido:] "Hypocrisy."
[Yoshirozuna:] "So Naja gets to spit mist in my eyes to 'avenge' Barton as a result?"
[Pálido:] "I guess so, but does that even sound right? How could Naja, of all people, avenge Barton?"
[Yoshirozuna:] "Naja - the man who manipulated Barton for most of his career in Japan. Naja, the 'best friend' of Barton who forcefully unmasked him in the U.S. and spit acid in his scarred face. Barton told me everything Naja used to do to mess with his head. But somehow Naja is the masked hero of the story."
[Pálido:] "You and I never cheated to win our Championship or to hold onto it. But Naja just took an unblemished Title and spit piss all over it. Then he rolled you up and grabbed your mawashi."
[Yoshirozuna:] "And the fans loved it, they loved every f'n second."
[Pálido:] "Are they so desperate for heroes that Naja and JET are cheered?"
[Yoshirozuna:] "If you ask me, Barton put all his stock into the wrong remaining protege. Let's look at Luke Kisiera. Yeah, that's right. Barton helped train him when he first came up. That's a man who knows a little something about heroism. Putting on a snake mask doesn't make you a hero, JET. Acting the part does."
[Pálido:] "Kisiera has some integrity. He was willing to fight Sanders and Langford with all he had when they extorted Saji into taking a year off. But JET - what does he do? Hides his integrity under a mask and teams with one of the most notorious and violent wrestlers in UBL history. Then he accepts a Championship that they cheated to win, doesn't say a f'n word about it for months cause he's ashamed, and never offers a rematch we're owed."
[Yoshirozuna:] "It's just too bad that heroic qualities no longer matter to the fans or to UBL. Look at Sanders and his crew. Not only have they avoided repercussions for their antics, they get rewarded for being the greasy wheels."
[Pálido:] "Sure, reward Sanders for stealing two title belts by allowing him the chance to earn a third one."
*Pálido face palms himself.*
[Yoshirozuna:] "The bitch wouldn't last two seconds in the ring against me."
[Pálido:] "This is what flies for logic in this f'n zone of debasement."
[Yoshirozuna:] "So it's time to make an adjustment. The people who survive the Zone are the ones who learn to play by its rules. It's not about sacrificing integrity, it's about changing our odds."
[Pálido:] "And that metaphor is in honor of poor, Charles Langford."
[Yoshirozuna:] "Hope one-armed hospital solitaire is getting you off, bud."
[Pálido:] "Guy knows his way around the one-armed bandit."
[Yoshirozuna:] "And we know our way around victory. So UBL - it's your choice. Give us our guaranteed rematch for the Universal Battalion Championship or watch how we shift reality to make it happen."
*The scene fades while Pálido hums the music from before and Yoshirozuna smirks.*
"There is a dimensional stream beyond that which is remembered by man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as endless as the Infinity Continuum League. It is the middle ground between the under card and the main event, between King's Road and Strong Style, and it lies between the pit of Ralph Ferguson's arms and the Summit of Destiny's HGH experiments. This is the dimension of imagination...because all we can do is f'n wonder whether or not it will ever present more events. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone."
*After a few seconds, the piece of paper is then ripped apart down the middle. This opens up the camera's field of vision to reveal El Pálido Fantasma and Yoshirozuna: collectively known as El Exilio.*
[Pálido:] "Hey, remember us? The former Universal Battalion Champions that deserve our rematch after getting cheated out of our Titles at 'ALL YOUR BASE?'" The UBL sure doesn't."
[Yoshirozuna:] "We couldn't get an interviewer or a camera crew for the past month because they are too busy promoting the Continuum stream. Even two weeks after the first show, it's all UBL can seem to focus on."
[Pálido:] "Maybe the Dimensional stream really does lead to the Twilight Zone."
[Yoshirozuna:] "I mean, you gotta see it from Wingate's perspective though, right? It's not like creating a new Championship in a convoluted tournament is something that happens every two years in this place?"
[Pálido:] "Hell no to that. Just look at the Universal Circuit Title. It hasn't run out of steam yet, right?"
[Yoshirozuna:] "Nah, the 'new car smell' was already off that thing the second Sanders sh*t all over it. I hate to say it, cause THRASH is one of the few guys I like in this place, but his title is worthless."
[Pálido:] "And I'm sure the Infinite Continuum Title will join it when Yoshida creams over the 'Eternal Equilibrium Title" that Geese drunk dials him to suggest in 2022."
[Yoshirozuna:] "You think the Champions League will even be over by then!?"
[Pálido:] "Hell no, I just think they'll lose interest and sh*t out some new gold."
[Yoshirozuna:] "I'm sure Woodruff will taste test its credibility."
[Pálido:] "Unless he just became Langford's new wet nurse."
*Yoshirozuna laughs but then looks deadly serious for a second and stares at the camera.*
[Yoshirozuna:] "Tetsu Gushiken - I always liked your style. You and I have now have something in common. We both f*cked up a member of Three of a Kind. Now, if you have half the conscience I figure you do, the last two weeks haven't been great for you. I guess we're about to see whether RYOMA and Saji are a better support system than Barton and JET ever were."
[Pálido:] "So, looks like two streams just crossed in the Twilight Zone."
[Yoshirozuna:] "How you figure?"
[Pálido:] "I was just about to say what hypocritical bullsh*t it is that you are still hated for injuring Sanders and ending Barton's career using a legal wrestling move while Naja gets celebrated for almost blinding you at 'All your Base."
[Yoshirozuna:] "Not just a legal move, but Barton's own finisher. Hey Yoshida - if it wasn't safe, why did you let him use it for 20 f'n years?"
[Pálido:] "Hypocrisy."
[Yoshirozuna:] "So Naja gets to spit mist in my eyes to 'avenge' Barton as a result?"
[Pálido:] "I guess so, but does that even sound right? How could Naja, of all people, avenge Barton?"
[Yoshirozuna:] "Naja - the man who manipulated Barton for most of his career in Japan. Naja, the 'best friend' of Barton who forcefully unmasked him in the U.S. and spit acid in his scarred face. Barton told me everything Naja used to do to mess with his head. But somehow Naja is the masked hero of the story."
[Pálido:] "You and I never cheated to win our Championship or to hold onto it. But Naja just took an unblemished Title and spit piss all over it. Then he rolled you up and grabbed your mawashi."
[Yoshirozuna:] "And the fans loved it, they loved every f'n second."
[Pálido:] "Are they so desperate for heroes that Naja and JET are cheered?"
[Yoshirozuna:] "If you ask me, Barton put all his stock into the wrong remaining protege. Let's look at Luke Kisiera. Yeah, that's right. Barton helped train him when he first came up. That's a man who knows a little something about heroism. Putting on a snake mask doesn't make you a hero, JET. Acting the part does."
[Pálido:] "Kisiera has some integrity. He was willing to fight Sanders and Langford with all he had when they extorted Saji into taking a year off. But JET - what does he do? Hides his integrity under a mask and teams with one of the most notorious and violent wrestlers in UBL history. Then he accepts a Championship that they cheated to win, doesn't say a f'n word about it for months cause he's ashamed, and never offers a rematch we're owed."
[Yoshirozuna:] "It's just too bad that heroic qualities no longer matter to the fans or to UBL. Look at Sanders and his crew. Not only have they avoided repercussions for their antics, they get rewarded for being the greasy wheels."
[Pálido:] "Sure, reward Sanders for stealing two title belts by allowing him the chance to earn a third one."
*Pálido face palms himself.*
[Yoshirozuna:] "The bitch wouldn't last two seconds in the ring against me."
[Pálido:] "This is what flies for logic in this f'n zone of debasement."
[Yoshirozuna:] "So it's time to make an adjustment. The people who survive the Zone are the ones who learn to play by its rules. It's not about sacrificing integrity, it's about changing our odds."
[Pálido:] "And that metaphor is in honor of poor, Charles Langford."
[Yoshirozuna:] "Hope one-armed hospital solitaire is getting you off, bud."
[Pálido:] "Guy knows his way around the one-armed bandit."
[Yoshirozuna:] "And we know our way around victory. So UBL - it's your choice. Give us our guaranteed rematch for the Universal Battalion Championship or watch how we shift reality to make it happen."
*The scene fades while Pálido hums the music from before and Yoshirozuna smirks.*