Robin Walker: "Prime Time"
Dec 13, 2022 4:48:34 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Dec 13, 2022 4:48:34 GMT -5
*The broadcast starts with a mostly black screen. On the bottom right, we see "12/13/2022" and "00:00" signifying the midnight hour when just about anything can happen. The lens cap opens to find Robin Walker wearing a tight, black shirt with a gold number nineteen on it. She's standing in front of an OG-Jo...nooo wait, that's a gen-u-ine OG-FPD logo!! Is it really this time of year again?"
[Robin:] "Well whaddya know? It's that time of year again! A time to reminisce about when a pro wrestler turned surprise cereal executive decided to start his own promotion with a curated assortment of national talent, rivals from PW-W, and a burgeoning joshi division. Yes, today marks the 19th Anniversary of OG-FPD."
*We hear the sound of a party favor horn in the background, presumably by Jean Carter.*
[Robin:] "Thanks, Coach!! Speaking of Jean, she's been thinking a lot about how to advertise our legacy promotions to reach today's disaffected youth. After doing extensive research, we realized that young adults absolutely love not knowing when stuff they may be vaguely interested in is going to happen until the very last minute when they are texted directions to some ramshackle factory. Quality business model - definitely explains the booming economy."
*Robin shrugs but smiles with a sarcastic expression*
[Robin:] "Obviously, that is no way to run a wrestling event that requires at least a moderate heads-up to the authorities given our checkered history. So we're going to meet our fans halfway on the whole notice thing.
Introducing the very first pop-up OG-FPD Anniversary show!! That's right! At 8 pm tonight, we're running a surprise event with four matches!! To keep with the unpredictable spirit the kids love, we're not going to name any of the matches. All we can tell you is that UBL, Basic Training, and the Emerge roster are involved.
Oh and - wait, actually, *Robin gets a sudden look of realization* I can tell you about the main event! That's because the anniversary boy himself, Geese Walker, is going to be in it tagging me. That is to say, tagging with me. We're gonna be taking on Team Crawling Chaos - Kathy Queen and William King. That's right, the loooong-awaited match is finally happening in less than 24 hours.
Well, that's less than 24 hours for all you who can get your asses down to the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena to see the event live. For those of you waiting for the customary website presentation, let's just hope UBL and OG-Joshi can get it to you before Goosehog Day. That's 3 days before Groundhogs Day and the shadow that Goocifer could see would eat your soul alive. Time's a tickin on that website write-up Randolph, is all I'm sayin."
*Robin looks like she's about to walk away then smirks to herself.*
[Robin:] "But wait, we're not just marketing to the youth, are we? In fact, anyone under the age of 18 won't even be allowed to stay for the main event. So let me lean on another tried and true marketing strategy that has been successful through the ages. It's not just the youth who like things that pop up."
*Robin suddenly rips her shirt off!! Underneath, we see an even smaller and tighter t-shirt that really displays the contours of her body. Those who are able to still even read can see the number six written in the same place that the nineteen was on the previous shirt.*
[Robin:] "Sex sells, folks. That's why this Anniversary show has a sub-title: "Sexy Prime."
For those with long memories, memories likely older than some of our fans, you may recall that I used to work for a certain business woman. Well, *Robin laughs*, over the years I've certainly done my share of providing 'constructive criticism' for my relationship with good ole Miss Ryder. But since I've been turning over a new leaf recently in re-contextualizing my past with a positive spin, allow me to actually compliment her. She was a wizard in math and taught me a lot in my role as intern. Sometimes she would even talk about number theory. "
*In the background we could hear Jean say "Yay, learning!"
[Robin:] "Damn right, Jean, and this lesson is hot! 'Sexy primes' are any two prime numbers that differ from each other by six. So nineteen, the number of this anniversary, and thirteen, the number of the date the anniversary falls on - these are sexy primes."
*Robin smirks than puts on a fake expression of being offended.*
[Robin:] "Oh, what's that? You heard the word 'sexy' and had an aneurysm? We've never been PG-13 but your imagination is misfiring, much like what happened to that 'prime' in your pants when I ripped my shirt off. Fact is - the Latin word for six is 'sex.'" Any other connotation is, of course, a complete coincidence.
I'm sure Kathy Queen can agree with me on that, right hun? It's not like I'm going to *Robin moans and licks her fingers* get her primed for anything in particular. Am I gonna prime Willie's pump? Oh no, rest your tired, jet-lagged head, Kathy. Everything in that match will be by the book: the Kama Sutra's guide to tapping that ass out."
*Robin slaps her rear and smiles enthusiastically at the camera.*
[Robin:] "Lookin forward to celebrating with everyone!"
*She smirks and walks away as the camera fades.*
[Robin:] "Well whaddya know? It's that time of year again! A time to reminisce about when a pro wrestler turned surprise cereal executive decided to start his own promotion with a curated assortment of national talent, rivals from PW-W, and a burgeoning joshi division. Yes, today marks the 19th Anniversary of OG-FPD."
*We hear the sound of a party favor horn in the background, presumably by Jean Carter.*
[Robin:] "Thanks, Coach!! Speaking of Jean, she's been thinking a lot about how to advertise our legacy promotions to reach today's disaffected youth. After doing extensive research, we realized that young adults absolutely love not knowing when stuff they may be vaguely interested in is going to happen until the very last minute when they are texted directions to some ramshackle factory. Quality business model - definitely explains the booming economy."
*Robin shrugs but smiles with a sarcastic expression*
[Robin:] "Obviously, that is no way to run a wrestling event that requires at least a moderate heads-up to the authorities given our checkered history. So we're going to meet our fans halfway on the whole notice thing.
Introducing the very first pop-up OG-FPD Anniversary show!! That's right! At 8 pm tonight, we're running a surprise event with four matches!! To keep with the unpredictable spirit the kids love, we're not going to name any of the matches. All we can tell you is that UBL, Basic Training, and the Emerge roster are involved.
Oh and - wait, actually, *Robin gets a sudden look of realization* I can tell you about the main event! That's because the anniversary boy himself, Geese Walker, is going to be in it tagging me. That is to say, tagging with me. We're gonna be taking on Team Crawling Chaos - Kathy Queen and William King. That's right, the loooong-awaited match is finally happening in less than 24 hours.
Well, that's less than 24 hours for all you who can get your asses down to the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena to see the event live. For those of you waiting for the customary website presentation, let's just hope UBL and OG-Joshi can get it to you before Goosehog Day. That's 3 days before Groundhogs Day and the shadow that Goocifer could see would eat your soul alive. Time's a tickin on that website write-up Randolph, is all I'm sayin."
*Robin looks like she's about to walk away then smirks to herself.*
[Robin:] "But wait, we're not just marketing to the youth, are we? In fact, anyone under the age of 18 won't even be allowed to stay for the main event. So let me lean on another tried and true marketing strategy that has been successful through the ages. It's not just the youth who like things that pop up."
*Robin suddenly rips her shirt off!! Underneath, we see an even smaller and tighter t-shirt that really displays the contours of her body. Those who are able to still even read can see the number six written in the same place that the nineteen was on the previous shirt.*
[Robin:] "Sex sells, folks. That's why this Anniversary show has a sub-title: "Sexy Prime."
For those with long memories, memories likely older than some of our fans, you may recall that I used to work for a certain business woman. Well, *Robin laughs*, over the years I've certainly done my share of providing 'constructive criticism' for my relationship with good ole Miss Ryder. But since I've been turning over a new leaf recently in re-contextualizing my past with a positive spin, allow me to actually compliment her. She was a wizard in math and taught me a lot in my role as intern. Sometimes she would even talk about number theory. "
*In the background we could hear Jean say "Yay, learning!"
[Robin:] "Damn right, Jean, and this lesson is hot! 'Sexy primes' are any two prime numbers that differ from each other by six. So nineteen, the number of this anniversary, and thirteen, the number of the date the anniversary falls on - these are sexy primes."
*Robin smirks than puts on a fake expression of being offended.*
[Robin:] "Oh, what's that? You heard the word 'sexy' and had an aneurysm? We've never been PG-13 but your imagination is misfiring, much like what happened to that 'prime' in your pants when I ripped my shirt off. Fact is - the Latin word for six is 'sex.'" Any other connotation is, of course, a complete coincidence.
I'm sure Kathy Queen can agree with me on that, right hun? It's not like I'm going to *Robin moans and licks her fingers* get her primed for anything in particular. Am I gonna prime Willie's pump? Oh no, rest your tired, jet-lagged head, Kathy. Everything in that match will be by the book: the Kama Sutra's guide to tapping that ass out."
*Robin slaps her rear and smiles enthusiastically at the camera.*
[Robin:] "Lookin forward to celebrating with everyone!"
*She smirks and walks away as the camera fades.*