7/1/07
Jun 30, 2007 23:14:34 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Jun 30, 2007 23:14:34 GMT -5
Universal Champion show - July 1st, 2007.
Tonight's Matches:
1 - Centurion vs. Nightmare
2 - Jack Dod vs. Naja Mask
3 - *Twinky McLanahan vs. Thunder Strike
4 - Nick Strife vs. Flip Staley
5 - *Jason Hyde vs. Marauder
6 - *Bak Fu vs. OrochiGeese
* Flash Video - Google (loads up quickly, no waiting!)
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*The fans are YET again packed into the unholy realm of war: the "Battle Chamber" section of the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena. This is the third Universal Champion League show and the fans are clearly getting into the action! Let's go to the "sign report" brought to us by "Mean" Jean Carter!*
Jean: "Hi Skip!"
(who the hell is Skip?)
Jean: "The fans have really brought their creativity tonight! With signs such as "Let's start clapping *clap clap clapclapclap*", "If Centurion wins, weriot FIGHT FOR ROME!" ...hmm that one seems to have been 'post-produced' by UBL staff. And my favorite sign: "Tickets for $20". Which is not so much a show of fan support as it was the reason I was able to get in here tonight! Now let's get to the action!"
*Centurion is already in the ring as Nightmare makes his entrance. The fans show him a lot more respect then they first did last month due to his huge win over Nick Strife at the previous show. Centurion is still getting over his humiliating defeat to Jakob Furis followed by his triumphant uh..kicking of the nads of said Furis. Who will get kicked in the nads...TONIGHT!?*
Match #1 - Centurion vs. Nightmare
The answer to that question is given to us immediately as Centurion is the first to get kicked in the nads. Nightmare wasted no time in 'helping himself" to an advantage in the match as he just straight out rocketed a kick into the nads of Centurion before the bell even rung! (Well, Centurion's "bell" was certainly rung!). Referee Coach McGuirk just nodded and said "I'm gonna allow this" and the match officially starts now!
Well we're off to an inauspicious start as Centurion is in the very position he demands others be in (that being "bowing"...get your minds out of the aqueducts!). Nightmare follows this up with a number of kicks to the back of the head and it looks like this is gonna be a short and easy match for Nightmare.
That is until Centurion "Brutus' up" and starts laying into Nightmare with chops!! Nightmare thinks quickly and looks at the ref. He then points somewhere in the crowd and yells, causing the ref to avert his attention from the ring. Nightmare takes the opportunity to hit yet another nad kick and Centurion is down yet again. Nightmare runs the ropes and hits a vicious sliding dropkick to the helmeted head of Centurion. If you ask me, that helmet only adds to some of the head trauma he likely has. IF you ask me, that is.
Nightmare goes for the pin but only gets a 2.9. He then attempts to pick Centurion up to finish him off but Centurion is kinda limp and not easy to pick up due to the 500 pounds of body armor he's wearing! Nightmare thinks better of trying to lift him and instead backs up...then winds up, then thrusts forward with a flying busaiku knee! The same move that was instrumental in taking out Nick Strife last show! But just to seal the deal, Nightmare goes up to the top rope and hits a moonsault foot stomp! And while it landed nicely on Centurion's mid section, it appears that it may have even grazed the wounded area a bit "south of the Roman border" if you follow on a map. Either way, Nightmare goes for the cover and gets the 3 count.
Nightmare (O) ["Moonsault Foot Stomp" - 7:32] (X) Centurion
*Nightmare leaves to a mixture of boos and amused cheers as Centurion (who certainly has his share of detractors) is helped backstage as he awkwardly limps. The ring is cleared of any loose metalic objects from his armor and we're ready for the next match! As we now have two masters of the art of shenanigans facing off!! The current Spunk Pro and former PW-W UWH Champion Jack Dod is undefeated in this singles league whereas one half of the current UBL Battalion Champions is WINLESS so far. But if Naja was looking to pick a time to step up his game of connivance, he's gonna be up against a master of it. Of note is that Jack Dod has brought some kind of big, industrial-looking water bottle with him. However we can't see inside it cause it's an opaque container. He places it on the apron and then gets into the ring.*
Match #2 - Jack Dod vs. Naja Mask
Two wrongs don't make a right - but they DO make for an entertaining brawl!! And in case the audience didn't ALREADY get their "RDA-BO" (Recommended Daily Allowance of Bozac Offence) in the previous match, they were certainly satiated after this one! But men went viciously for each other's "more tender areas", looking for eye pokes, nut shots, and even resorting to HORRIFIC emotional "mom joke" warfare:
Jack Dod: "Your mother's half python, huh? How'd she like some MORE python inside her?"
This of course just made Naja angrier, which is EXACTLY what Jack wanted. As he is an expert at dealing with angry opponents and is cool and calculating in the face of them. Naja is just lost here as Jack is using every mental heel trick in the book: going outside to trick Naja into doing so, running around the ring and then getting back inside just in time to stomp on Naja when he follows.
Jack has control throughout while working Naja's neck for the Dodsmack but makes a rare mistake falling for Naja playing "possum" (huh, a snake playing possum? What am I ON!?). Perhaps it was Jack's own overconfidence in assuming that a simple bodyslam just KO'd Naja...but as he cheers and orders the ref to count Naja out, he makes the mistake of turning around to goad the fans. But Naja gets up behind him and then SPEWS poison mist into Jack's eyes when he turns around! Jack recoils violently as he shrieks: "MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!". He has the sense to quickly roll out of the ring and begin searching for his bottle though. Meanwhile Naja is laughing while making menacing throat gestures (to mimic him spitting the mist).
Jack FINALLY finds his bottle and then starts pouring it into his eyes! Wait...that's some kind of portable EMERGENCY EYE WASH STATION! Jack Dod anticipated a poison mist attack and came equipped with every chemistry teacher's best defense against a lawsuit from an experiment gone wrong!
With Jack's eyes clear and his resolve returned, he gets back into the ring to the shocked look of Naja (well, he's wearing a mask, so we have to infer from body language). Jack is smiling confidently while Naja is backing up, realizing he's in over his head against DODSTYLE chaos. Jack quickly kicks Naja in the midsection and then hits the DodSmack immediately after. He covers...and gets the easy 3!
Jack Dod (O) ["DodSmack"- 9:23] (X) Naja Mask
*After kicking Naja a few times in the ribs, Jack tires of the assault and moves on. And by "moves on", I mean takes a steel chair into the ring and looks to punish Naja for the poison mist attack. However, Twinky McLanahan comes running out! For the save?! Why!? Twinky just doesn't want to see Jack Dod have his way with ANYONE, even a rule breaker like Naja Mask! Jack backs up as he sees Twinky running into the ring. The fans erupt as the two look uneasily at each other...nod thoughtfully, smile, and then launch themselves at each other like two HATED RIVALS! Cause that's what they are!!
As they are ripping each other with chops, none other then Thunder Strike runs into the ring to aid Twinky! Of curious note is that Thunder Strike is Twinky's opponent for tonight but that isn't stopping him from coming to his aid. After they get the advantage over Jack (which is harder then it sounds despite Jack just having a match), and he wisely bails out (smiling all the way to the back while mockingly making accusing gestures at the two of them), Thunder Strike gets a microphone. But first, he shoves Twinky!*
TS: "What the hell are you doing? We have a match tonight! And you're out here galavanting with Dod?"
*Twinky shrugs and looks utterly confused why Thunder Strike just used the word "galavanting" on a pro wrestling show, not to mention it being used in relation to him and Jack Dod!*
TS: "You don't know what's at stake here do you? If people like you and I aren't focused on our own matches, then Geese will win this thing. You want THAT to happen?!"
*By the fans reaction, its clear that Thunder Strike didn't get the memo that Twinky and Geese are not exactly the BEST of friends throughout their careers. Twinky just gives that "is this guy kidding?" look*
TS: "AHEM! Now, I've heard all about you but you haven't impressed me yet. Right now...right here in front of all these fans, you are gonna have to PROVE that you belong in the UBL. And you're gonna do it against ME. Let's see what the "legendary" Twinky McLanahan is made of...right NOW."
*Twinky looks a bit more annoyed but is still not entirely sure why he is getting flack from this guy. Thunder Strike, not happy with Twinky's rather calm reaction, slaps him on the chest. And shit, it's ON! You don't go slappin' Twinky McLanahan to wake him up, cause he'll put you to sleep, bitch!! And now, after just seeing a match with two hated rulebreakers, we're about to see one between two guys on the up and up!! And yet, these two do NOT seem to like each other one bit! Let's go to the match!*
Match #3 - Twinky McLanahan vs. Thunder Strike - [FLASH]
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*And if Twinky was asked to prove himself once more to an opponent he had never faced before, he certainly did that and MORE! He worked the arm to perfection, actually getting the battle hardened Thunder Strike to TAP OUT to that tightly applied jujigatame after some beautiful arm work throughout the match. These two went at it but Twinky had the superior game plan tonight.*
Twinky McLanahan (O) [Jujigatame- 19:01] (X) Thunder Strike
*Thunder Strike gets up and shakes his head in disbelief that he was forced to tap. Twinky goes to leave but Thunder Strike puts his (good) arm on his shoulder to turn him around. He then gets a mic*
Thunder Strike: "That...*breathes* what you just did? You keep bringing THAT and you'll do UBL proud."
Twinky: *with an intense look* "I ALWAYS bring that."
*The fans cheer as Thunder Strike nods and holds out his hand. Twinky accepts the handshake as they now both appear to be on or about the same page. Thunder Strike pulls him in and says with a gravely voice "We can't let Geese win this thing, you understand?" while Twinky responds with: "Or Dod." The two nod and leave to the fans' applause. Uneasy alliance or just shared concerns? You be the judge!*
*Brief commercial break for Orochi-O's Land July 4th special events (goose related porno fireworks)*
*Nick Strife comes to the ring and he does NOT look to be in the best physical shape of his career. Quite the contrary, really, as he has a neck brace on due to the "Raging Bolt" Geese hit him with at the previous show. And he's in for a tough month as he has to face his mentor Twinky McLanahan next show and OrochiGeese's hired gun, Flip Staley, tonight! And Flip has come out to the ring looking a bit more jovial then usual, sensing that he has some easy pickings. But the last time Nick Strife was underestimated, he ended up pulling off the upset of the Univers(al Battle League) by beating OrochiGeese!! But he was healthy THEN! He's not now!! Basically: WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW!? Let's find out!*
Match #4 - Nick Strife vs. Flip Staley
And it appears Geese's money has been well spent as Flip just dominates Nick Strife from the start. One can understand Strife's lack of defense though as its very hard to fight when he don't have any real flexibility or strength in his neck. Flip is bouncing around throwing strikes at a stiff Strife (holy shit, say THAT 5 times fast, am i rite?!), knocking him down various times. This only serves to anger Strife but its unclear that he can do much anything about it in his present condition..until Flip becomes too nonchalant and goes for an uppercut, which an alert Strife grabs and turns into a McLanahan brand Jujigatame! He's really cinching it in but Flip is managing to fight the pain. Suddenly, Nick eases up on the pressure as it appears that his neck hurts the more he pulls and tenses with the jujigatame. Flip takes this surprising opportunity to manage to fight off Nick's legs and clamp his own hands back together, breaking the hold. Momentarily distracted by the struggle to break Flip's hand clamp, Strife allows him to get top mount and then things just go from bad to WORSE and Flip starts raining punches down. Its lucky that Strife is a tall guy as he was able to reach the ropes with his feet to break the hold, but the damage is done.
Its looking doubtful that Nick should have even came out to compete tonight as his offense and defense are severely limited due to what Geese did to him. Flip isn't doing any favors to Nick's neck either as its clear Geese told him to further exploit that injury. Twinky McLanahan actually comes out to watch the situation unfold after about 3 minutes of a one-sided beating. Twinky has a towel in his hands but its unclear if its due to his previous match or to save Nick from further injury. Flip just stares bullets into Twinky after his loss to him at the previous show. Flip has a shot at getting some revenge for that loss now, as he begins taking more enjoyment from beating up Nick now that Twinky is there. At one point that backfires as Flip is so distracted by taunting Twinky that he lets his guard down. But Nick isn't able to seize the opportunity and only manages a few weak clotheslines. He can't throw his body into them at all and Flip gets control back quickly after hitting a quick golden left to interrupt yet another slow Strife clothesline attempt.
Finally, Flip drops Nick on his head with a brainbuster..and it looks like this one is over...NO! Nick miraculously kicks out at 2.998! Flip looks stunned, as does Twinky even. But despite his heart, Nick can't muster the energy to get up and go on an offensive run. In fact, it looks like he's having trouble even lifting his head off the mat due to his wobbly neck. Flip takes the opportunity to flip him over and backmount him. He begins RAINING down elbows directly on the NECK! Twinky gets closer to the ring as its unclear if he's going to throw in the towel or is just sweating up a storm watching his student get destroyed. But its not long til the choice is out of his hands as referee Kenshin KNOCKS Flip off Strife ("Big John McCarthy" style) and stops the match!! Flip has won due to ref stoppage from those brutal elbows!!
Flip Staley (O) [ Ref stoppage: Mauling - 9:08 ] (X) Nick Strife
*Flip wisely gets the hell out of the ring as Twinky runs in to check on Nick. Flip has a big smile as he picks up his first win of the League and no doubt a HUGE bonus from Geese for the job he just did on Strife. Twinky is calling for medical attention but Strife is waving them off and goes to stand with the help of the ropes. The fans are cheering him as Strife refuses to stay down and be taken back by any one else's power. He screams out: "GEESE!!" and the fans respond in "FUCK 'EM UP, Striiiiife, fuck 'em up!" which is really silly since Strife is barely moving and Geese is backstage, but whatever. Let the fans chant what they want! Twinky and Nick go backstage to cheers but the look on Nick's face is less then celebratory.*
*Next match! Jason Hyde goes up against the current Universal Champion and undefeated Marauder: A man who has very impressively beaten both Bak Fu AND Thunder Strike so far in this league. A man who actually faced Jason Hyde last weekend in a tag match at the Open show and was instrumental in weakening him enough for Naja Mask to pick up the win. But since then, Jason has vowed to be at his very best for this match and we will see just what he can do against the seemingly unstoppable Marauder!*
Match #5- Jason Hyde vs. Marauder - [FLASH]
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*And THAT's why we use "conditional statements" like "seemingly" in front of unstoppable! Cause Jason Hyde has just STOPPED the Marauder in what can perhaps be considered to be a huge upset. Though until this league is a done and we get a chance to see what everyone can do, whose to say which matches are upsets!? Me? NO! You? Maybe! But what was clear was Jason Hyde's heart and SPEED in taking the fight to Marauder. And Jason picks up his second win of the league while Marauder falls to two and one.*
Jason Hyde (O) ["QuickSilver Cascade" - 19:12 ] (X)Marauder
*But just before the smoke as a chance to clear (metaphorically of course as we have a no smoking policy in the Battle Chamber!), it looks like someone is ready to begin their next match prematurely! No, wait...that's not some kind of time miscalculation, that's OrochiGeese here to make his mark felt!! OG runs to the ring where a triumphant Jason Hyde is still celebrating with the fans...unaware of Geese's presence. Geese has waited for this opportunity for a long time and he has a sick look in his eyes of enjoyment at the prone Jason!! OG winds up and hits Jason with a uraken to the back of the head! Jason is totally caught off guard and is shocked at the attack, even more so by the fact it looks to just be starting! OG winds up for a 360 lariat when- SMASH! POW! FLORP! Out of nowhere, (well the left side of the ring), OG is hit by a HUGE running spear! It's Marauder!! Marauder has just saved Jason Hyde!! Jason looks on confused as Marauder tosses OG out of the ring!! Marauder then grabs a microphone:
Marauder: "Aye, ya beat me, kid. I don't like it but ya did it fair and square. And there's no way I'm lettin that bastard attack ya like that. He wants to do to you what some thugs did to me years back. But I ain't letting that happen. So enjoy your victory, but we'll face each other again, ya hear?"
*Marauder goes to shake Jason's hand but Jason begins shaking his head no? Whut? OH THATS WHY!! Cause OrochiGeese has snuck up from behind Marauder and is about to hit him with a chair!! Wait, replace "about to" with "just" and we have a downed Marauder, a cornered Jason, and a bloodthirsty OG with a chair. But if we're gonna use these ingredients, I think we could benefit from one more lethal one...
BAH GAWD IN HELLFIRE ITS BAK FU!! Bak Fu, OG's opponent in the next match, has come running into the ring and KICKED the chair right out of OG's hands!! Bak nods to Jason, who nods back respectfully after the save and their previous encounter. And it looks like we're ready for the main event and fistacuffs have already begun flying between Bak Fu and OrochiGeese. It is now time for their first match EVER against each other! And they're ALREADY pissed off! My neck ALREADY hurts anticipating this match!*
Match #6 - Bak Fu vs. OrochiGeese - [FLASH]
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*What the hell? One moment Bak Fu was fine and the next moment he was gushing blood out of his neck? And it happened right after that SICK boot to the throat by Geese! And now Geese is taking off his boot and showing it around to reveal an actual sharp edge on the tip!! OG used an 'international object' to open up Bak and then cinched in the "Orochi Clutch!" Bak had no choice but to tap or else he might have BLED to death with the way OG was cinching his neck back in that crossface forcing the the blood to flow out! Is THIS what OG had to do to defeat Bak Fu? Is THIS the desperation and violence OG resorts to? What an opportunist! What a fiend! Sending Mr. Clyde to weaken him in FPN wasn't enough!! And OG still just BARELY got the victory after all that, having been dropped on his head numerous times throughout the match. It's amazing he was even able to survive to implement his strategy at the end!*
*Medics are coming down to the ring to help stop the bleeding for Bak Fu. Both Twinky and Thunder Strike come out and chase Geese out of the arena, FURIOUS that Geese would stoop to such a dirty and dangerous plan against Bak. The fans are really boo'ing what they just saw but Geese walks away with a huge victory and since its his fed, who is gonna invalidate the victory, especially since the ref didn't realize what happened til after? NO ONE, that's who! The victory stands!! Raspberries!
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Orochi Geese (O) [ "Orochi Clutch" - 19:57] (X) Bak Fu
*The medics are somewhat successful in helping Bak Fu stop the bleeding but he may need stiches. Still, he's a warrior and walks back on his own power, flanked by Twinky. Thunder Strike is angrily scouring the arena looking for Geese who likely just high-tailed it out of the building like a throat-cutting thief in the night! There are gonna be repercussions to this and things have just gotten hotter this summer in the UBL! So join us in two weeks as the next round of League action comes to us with 6 more matches!!
Tonight's Matches:
1 - Centurion vs. Nightmare
2 - Jack Dod vs. Naja Mask
3 - *Twinky McLanahan vs. Thunder Strike
4 - Nick Strife vs. Flip Staley
5 - *Jason Hyde vs. Marauder
6 - *Bak Fu vs. OrochiGeese
* Flash Video - Google (loads up quickly, no waiting!)
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*The fans are YET again packed into the unholy realm of war: the "Battle Chamber" section of the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena. This is the third Universal Champion League show and the fans are clearly getting into the action! Let's go to the "sign report" brought to us by "Mean" Jean Carter!*
Jean: "Hi Skip!"
(who the hell is Skip?)
Jean: "The fans have really brought their creativity tonight! With signs such as "Let's start clapping *clap clap clapclapclap*", "If Centurion wins, we
*Centurion is already in the ring as Nightmare makes his entrance. The fans show him a lot more respect then they first did last month due to his huge win over Nick Strife at the previous show. Centurion is still getting over his humiliating defeat to Jakob Furis followed by his triumphant uh..kicking of the nads of said Furis. Who will get kicked in the nads...TONIGHT!?*
Match #1 - Centurion vs. Nightmare
The answer to that question is given to us immediately as Centurion is the first to get kicked in the nads. Nightmare wasted no time in 'helping himself" to an advantage in the match as he just straight out rocketed a kick into the nads of Centurion before the bell even rung! (Well, Centurion's "bell" was certainly rung!). Referee Coach McGuirk just nodded and said "I'm gonna allow this" and the match officially starts now!
Well we're off to an inauspicious start as Centurion is in the very position he demands others be in (that being "bowing"...get your minds out of the aqueducts!). Nightmare follows this up with a number of kicks to the back of the head and it looks like this is gonna be a short and easy match for Nightmare.
That is until Centurion "Brutus' up" and starts laying into Nightmare with chops!! Nightmare thinks quickly and looks at the ref. He then points somewhere in the crowd and yells, causing the ref to avert his attention from the ring. Nightmare takes the opportunity to hit yet another nad kick and Centurion is down yet again. Nightmare runs the ropes and hits a vicious sliding dropkick to the helmeted head of Centurion. If you ask me, that helmet only adds to some of the head trauma he likely has. IF you ask me, that is.
Nightmare goes for the pin but only gets a 2.9. He then attempts to pick Centurion up to finish him off but Centurion is kinda limp and not easy to pick up due to the 500 pounds of body armor he's wearing! Nightmare thinks better of trying to lift him and instead backs up...then winds up, then thrusts forward with a flying busaiku knee! The same move that was instrumental in taking out Nick Strife last show! But just to seal the deal, Nightmare goes up to the top rope and hits a moonsault foot stomp! And while it landed nicely on Centurion's mid section, it appears that it may have even grazed the wounded area a bit "south of the Roman border" if you follow on a map. Either way, Nightmare goes for the cover and gets the 3 count.
Nightmare (O) ["Moonsault Foot Stomp" - 7:32] (X) Centurion
*Nightmare leaves to a mixture of boos and amused cheers as Centurion (who certainly has his share of detractors) is helped backstage as he awkwardly limps. The ring is cleared of any loose metalic objects from his armor and we're ready for the next match! As we now have two masters of the art of shenanigans facing off!! The current Spunk Pro and former PW-W UWH Champion Jack Dod is undefeated in this singles league whereas one half of the current UBL Battalion Champions is WINLESS so far. But if Naja was looking to pick a time to step up his game of connivance, he's gonna be up against a master of it. Of note is that Jack Dod has brought some kind of big, industrial-looking water bottle with him. However we can't see inside it cause it's an opaque container. He places it on the apron and then gets into the ring.*
Match #2 - Jack Dod vs. Naja Mask
Two wrongs don't make a right - but they DO make for an entertaining brawl!! And in case the audience didn't ALREADY get their "RDA-BO" (Recommended Daily Allowance of Bozac Offence) in the previous match, they were certainly satiated after this one! But men went viciously for each other's "more tender areas", looking for eye pokes, nut shots, and even resorting to HORRIFIC emotional "mom joke" warfare:
Jack Dod: "Your mother's half python, huh? How'd she like some MORE python inside her?"
This of course just made Naja angrier, which is EXACTLY what Jack wanted. As he is an expert at dealing with angry opponents and is cool and calculating in the face of them. Naja is just lost here as Jack is using every mental heel trick in the book: going outside to trick Naja into doing so, running around the ring and then getting back inside just in time to stomp on Naja when he follows.
Jack has control throughout while working Naja's neck for the Dodsmack but makes a rare mistake falling for Naja playing "possum" (huh, a snake playing possum? What am I ON!?). Perhaps it was Jack's own overconfidence in assuming that a simple bodyslam just KO'd Naja...but as he cheers and orders the ref to count Naja out, he makes the mistake of turning around to goad the fans. But Naja gets up behind him and then SPEWS poison mist into Jack's eyes when he turns around! Jack recoils violently as he shrieks: "MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!". He has the sense to quickly roll out of the ring and begin searching for his bottle though. Meanwhile Naja is laughing while making menacing throat gestures (to mimic him spitting the mist).
Jack FINALLY finds his bottle and then starts pouring it into his eyes! Wait...that's some kind of portable EMERGENCY EYE WASH STATION! Jack Dod anticipated a poison mist attack and came equipped with every chemistry teacher's best defense against a lawsuit from an experiment gone wrong!
With Jack's eyes clear and his resolve returned, he gets back into the ring to the shocked look of Naja (well, he's wearing a mask, so we have to infer from body language). Jack is smiling confidently while Naja is backing up, realizing he's in over his head against DODSTYLE chaos. Jack quickly kicks Naja in the midsection and then hits the DodSmack immediately after. He covers...and gets the easy 3!
Jack Dod (O) ["DodSmack"- 9:23] (X) Naja Mask
*After kicking Naja a few times in the ribs, Jack tires of the assault and moves on. And by "moves on", I mean takes a steel chair into the ring and looks to punish Naja for the poison mist attack. However, Twinky McLanahan comes running out! For the save?! Why!? Twinky just doesn't want to see Jack Dod have his way with ANYONE, even a rule breaker like Naja Mask! Jack backs up as he sees Twinky running into the ring. The fans erupt as the two look uneasily at each other...nod thoughtfully, smile, and then launch themselves at each other like two HATED RIVALS! Cause that's what they are!!
As they are ripping each other with chops, none other then Thunder Strike runs into the ring to aid Twinky! Of curious note is that Thunder Strike is Twinky's opponent for tonight but that isn't stopping him from coming to his aid. After they get the advantage over Jack (which is harder then it sounds despite Jack just having a match), and he wisely bails out (smiling all the way to the back while mockingly making accusing gestures at the two of them), Thunder Strike gets a microphone. But first, he shoves Twinky!*
TS: "What the hell are you doing? We have a match tonight! And you're out here galavanting with Dod?"
*Twinky shrugs and looks utterly confused why Thunder Strike just used the word "galavanting" on a pro wrestling show, not to mention it being used in relation to him and Jack Dod!*
TS: "You don't know what's at stake here do you? If people like you and I aren't focused on our own matches, then Geese will win this thing. You want THAT to happen?!"
*By the fans reaction, its clear that Thunder Strike didn't get the memo that Twinky and Geese are not exactly the BEST of friends throughout their careers. Twinky just gives that "is this guy kidding?" look*
TS: "AHEM! Now, I've heard all about you but you haven't impressed me yet. Right now...right here in front of all these fans, you are gonna have to PROVE that you belong in the UBL. And you're gonna do it against ME. Let's see what the "legendary" Twinky McLanahan is made of...right NOW."
*Twinky looks a bit more annoyed but is still not entirely sure why he is getting flack from this guy. Thunder Strike, not happy with Twinky's rather calm reaction, slaps him on the chest. And shit, it's ON! You don't go slappin' Twinky McLanahan to wake him up, cause he'll put you to sleep, bitch!! And now, after just seeing a match with two hated rulebreakers, we're about to see one between two guys on the up and up!! And yet, these two do NOT seem to like each other one bit! Let's go to the match!*
Match #3 - Twinky McLanahan vs. Thunder Strike - [FLASH]
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*And if Twinky was asked to prove himself once more to an opponent he had never faced before, he certainly did that and MORE! He worked the arm to perfection, actually getting the battle hardened Thunder Strike to TAP OUT to that tightly applied jujigatame after some beautiful arm work throughout the match. These two went at it but Twinky had the superior game plan tonight.*
Twinky McLanahan (O) [Jujigatame- 19:01] (X) Thunder Strike
*Thunder Strike gets up and shakes his head in disbelief that he was forced to tap. Twinky goes to leave but Thunder Strike puts his (good) arm on his shoulder to turn him around. He then gets a mic*
Thunder Strike: "That...*breathes* what you just did? You keep bringing THAT and you'll do UBL proud."
Twinky: *with an intense look* "I ALWAYS bring that."
*The fans cheer as Thunder Strike nods and holds out his hand. Twinky accepts the handshake as they now both appear to be on or about the same page. Thunder Strike pulls him in and says with a gravely voice "We can't let Geese win this thing, you understand?" while Twinky responds with: "Or Dod." The two nod and leave to the fans' applause. Uneasy alliance or just shared concerns? You be the judge!*
*Brief commercial break for Orochi-O's Land July 4th special events (goose related porno fireworks)*
*Nick Strife comes to the ring and he does NOT look to be in the best physical shape of his career. Quite the contrary, really, as he has a neck brace on due to the "Raging Bolt" Geese hit him with at the previous show. And he's in for a tough month as he has to face his mentor Twinky McLanahan next show and OrochiGeese's hired gun, Flip Staley, tonight! And Flip has come out to the ring looking a bit more jovial then usual, sensing that he has some easy pickings. But the last time Nick Strife was underestimated, he ended up pulling off the upset of the Univers(al Battle League) by beating OrochiGeese!! But he was healthy THEN! He's not now!! Basically: WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW!? Let's find out!*
Match #4 - Nick Strife vs. Flip Staley
And it appears Geese's money has been well spent as Flip just dominates Nick Strife from the start. One can understand Strife's lack of defense though as its very hard to fight when he don't have any real flexibility or strength in his neck. Flip is bouncing around throwing strikes at a stiff Strife (holy shit, say THAT 5 times fast, am i rite?!), knocking him down various times. This only serves to anger Strife but its unclear that he can do much anything about it in his present condition..until Flip becomes too nonchalant and goes for an uppercut, which an alert Strife grabs and turns into a McLanahan brand Jujigatame! He's really cinching it in but Flip is managing to fight the pain. Suddenly, Nick eases up on the pressure as it appears that his neck hurts the more he pulls and tenses with the jujigatame. Flip takes this surprising opportunity to manage to fight off Nick's legs and clamp his own hands back together, breaking the hold. Momentarily distracted by the struggle to break Flip's hand clamp, Strife allows him to get top mount and then things just go from bad to WORSE and Flip starts raining punches down. Its lucky that Strife is a tall guy as he was able to reach the ropes with his feet to break the hold, but the damage is done.
Its looking doubtful that Nick should have even came out to compete tonight as his offense and defense are severely limited due to what Geese did to him. Flip isn't doing any favors to Nick's neck either as its clear Geese told him to further exploit that injury. Twinky McLanahan actually comes out to watch the situation unfold after about 3 minutes of a one-sided beating. Twinky has a towel in his hands but its unclear if its due to his previous match or to save Nick from further injury. Flip just stares bullets into Twinky after his loss to him at the previous show. Flip has a shot at getting some revenge for that loss now, as he begins taking more enjoyment from beating up Nick now that Twinky is there. At one point that backfires as Flip is so distracted by taunting Twinky that he lets his guard down. But Nick isn't able to seize the opportunity and only manages a few weak clotheslines. He can't throw his body into them at all and Flip gets control back quickly after hitting a quick golden left to interrupt yet another slow Strife clothesline attempt.
Finally, Flip drops Nick on his head with a brainbuster..and it looks like this one is over...NO! Nick miraculously kicks out at 2.998! Flip looks stunned, as does Twinky even. But despite his heart, Nick can't muster the energy to get up and go on an offensive run. In fact, it looks like he's having trouble even lifting his head off the mat due to his wobbly neck. Flip takes the opportunity to flip him over and backmount him. He begins RAINING down elbows directly on the NECK! Twinky gets closer to the ring as its unclear if he's going to throw in the towel or is just sweating up a storm watching his student get destroyed. But its not long til the choice is out of his hands as referee Kenshin KNOCKS Flip off Strife ("Big John McCarthy" style) and stops the match!! Flip has won due to ref stoppage from those brutal elbows!!
Flip Staley (O) [ Ref stoppage: Mauling - 9:08 ] (X) Nick Strife
*Flip wisely gets the hell out of the ring as Twinky runs in to check on Nick. Flip has a big smile as he picks up his first win of the League and no doubt a HUGE bonus from Geese for the job he just did on Strife. Twinky is calling for medical attention but Strife is waving them off and goes to stand with the help of the ropes. The fans are cheering him as Strife refuses to stay down and be taken back by any one else's power. He screams out: "GEESE!!" and the fans respond in "FUCK 'EM UP, Striiiiife, fuck 'em up!" which is really silly since Strife is barely moving and Geese is backstage, but whatever. Let the fans chant what they want! Twinky and Nick go backstage to cheers but the look on Nick's face is less then celebratory.*
*Next match! Jason Hyde goes up against the current Universal Champion and undefeated Marauder: A man who has very impressively beaten both Bak Fu AND Thunder Strike so far in this league. A man who actually faced Jason Hyde last weekend in a tag match at the Open show and was instrumental in weakening him enough for Naja Mask to pick up the win. But since then, Jason has vowed to be at his very best for this match and we will see just what he can do against the seemingly unstoppable Marauder!*
Match #5- Jason Hyde vs. Marauder - [FLASH]
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*And THAT's why we use "conditional statements" like "seemingly" in front of unstoppable! Cause Jason Hyde has just STOPPED the Marauder in what can perhaps be considered to be a huge upset. Though until this league is a done and we get a chance to see what everyone can do, whose to say which matches are upsets!? Me? NO! You? Maybe! But what was clear was Jason Hyde's heart and SPEED in taking the fight to Marauder. And Jason picks up his second win of the league while Marauder falls to two and one.*
Jason Hyde (O) ["QuickSilver Cascade" - 19:12 ] (X)Marauder
*But just before the smoke as a chance to clear (metaphorically of course as we have a no smoking policy in the Battle Chamber!), it looks like someone is ready to begin their next match prematurely! No, wait...that's not some kind of time miscalculation, that's OrochiGeese here to make his mark felt!! OG runs to the ring where a triumphant Jason Hyde is still celebrating with the fans...unaware of Geese's presence. Geese has waited for this opportunity for a long time and he has a sick look in his eyes of enjoyment at the prone Jason!! OG winds up and hits Jason with a uraken to the back of the head! Jason is totally caught off guard and is shocked at the attack, even more so by the fact it looks to just be starting! OG winds up for a 360 lariat when- SMASH! POW! FLORP! Out of nowhere, (well the left side of the ring), OG is hit by a HUGE running spear! It's Marauder!! Marauder has just saved Jason Hyde!! Jason looks on confused as Marauder tosses OG out of the ring!! Marauder then grabs a microphone:
Marauder: "Aye, ya beat me, kid. I don't like it but ya did it fair and square. And there's no way I'm lettin that bastard attack ya like that. He wants to do to you what some thugs did to me years back. But I ain't letting that happen. So enjoy your victory, but we'll face each other again, ya hear?"
*Marauder goes to shake Jason's hand but Jason begins shaking his head no? Whut? OH THATS WHY!! Cause OrochiGeese has snuck up from behind Marauder and is about to hit him with a chair!! Wait, replace "about to" with "just" and we have a downed Marauder, a cornered Jason, and a bloodthirsty OG with a chair. But if we're gonna use these ingredients, I think we could benefit from one more lethal one...
BAH GAWD IN HELLFIRE ITS BAK FU!! Bak Fu, OG's opponent in the next match, has come running into the ring and KICKED the chair right out of OG's hands!! Bak nods to Jason, who nods back respectfully after the save and their previous encounter. And it looks like we're ready for the main event and fistacuffs have already begun flying between Bak Fu and OrochiGeese. It is now time for their first match EVER against each other! And they're ALREADY pissed off! My neck ALREADY hurts anticipating this match!*
Match #6 - Bak Fu vs. OrochiGeese - [FLASH]
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*What the hell? One moment Bak Fu was fine and the next moment he was gushing blood out of his neck? And it happened right after that SICK boot to the throat by Geese! And now Geese is taking off his boot and showing it around to reveal an actual sharp edge on the tip!! OG used an 'international object' to open up Bak and then cinched in the "Orochi Clutch!" Bak had no choice but to tap or else he might have BLED to death with the way OG was cinching his neck back in that crossface forcing the the blood to flow out! Is THIS what OG had to do to defeat Bak Fu? Is THIS the desperation and violence OG resorts to? What an opportunist! What a fiend! Sending Mr. Clyde to weaken him in FPN wasn't enough!! And OG still just BARELY got the victory after all that, having been dropped on his head numerous times throughout the match. It's amazing he was even able to survive to implement his strategy at the end!*
*Medics are coming down to the ring to help stop the bleeding for Bak Fu. Both Twinky and Thunder Strike come out and chase Geese out of the arena, FURIOUS that Geese would stoop to such a dirty and dangerous plan against Bak. The fans are really boo'ing what they just saw but Geese walks away with a huge victory and since its his fed, who is gonna invalidate the victory, especially since the ref didn't realize what happened til after? NO ONE, that's who! The victory stands!! Raspberries!
*Orochi Geese (O) [ "Orochi Clutch" - 19:57] (X) Bak Fu
*The medics are somewhat successful in helping Bak Fu stop the bleeding but he may need stiches. Still, he's a warrior and walks back on his own power, flanked by Twinky. Thunder Strike is angrily scouring the arena looking for Geese who likely just high-tailed it out of the building like a throat-cutting thief in the night! There are gonna be repercussions to this and things have just gotten hotter this summer in the UBL! So join us in two weeks as the next round of League action comes to us with 6 more matches!!