FLEX: Let's do the time warp! AGAIN?!

[October Raven]

Before Team Moon Gas 200Y, there was Fighting League EXtreme.

Like LAWL or Japanese "indy-sleaze" feds like DDT, FLEX is a totally out there, off-the-wall promotion with some of the most unique and comical gimmicks, storylines, and matches ever.

October Raven Productions found the ORIGINAL, lost tapings of FLEX, and by found them, I mean picked them up from a GameStop bargain bin for about twelve cents (plus tax).

So, for wrestling fans all over the world, we present the original, unedited shows in a once-in-a-lifetime miniseries!

Without further ado...
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FLEX Presents "Hearts of Steel, Bones of Cubic Zirconium episode one"... Late Late Nights on the Discovery Channel!

Carolina Elite Fighting Force v. Shock Squad
The CEFF are police officers who were trained in the ways of martial arts during Spring Break, while Shock Squad are soldiers from a dimension where America failed to overcome the English Empire in the American Revolution, and thus the entire world is run by a single dictatorship.

NC Ninja and SS Beta start this match, and they begin with a collar and elbow tie-up. Beta being the stronger man manages to put Ninja in the corner and a clean break was foiled by Ninja nailing a series of kicks to the midsection. Ninja then attempted a German Suplex but Beta elbowed Ninja in the head and delivered a backdrop. Tag to Alpha, and they irish whipped Ninja and delivered a double lariat, before doing their "Resistance Is Futile" double elbow drop move. Alpha nailed a shortarm lariat for a two count. SC Shogun tried to get in, allowing Beta and Alpha to double team Ninja, with a double suplex and an assisted powerbomb. Ninja would be set up for the Shock Wave but would catch the neck of Alpha and get a rana and a tag to Shogun. Shogun nailed an enzuigiri to Alpha and a dropkick to Beta, before deliving a frog splash off the top for a two count. Shogun was nailed by an Alpha lariat and Beta tagged in. A Vertebreaker attempt was countered, and Shogun nailed his Honorable Victory finishing move, but Alpha made the save. Shogun complained to the referee, which allowed Alpha to get his tonfa and bashed NC Ninja over the head with it as Beta hit the Counter-Revolution. A Buy That For A Dollar would lead to a pinfall by the Facists, who exited the ring to their theme music, "Rock The Casbah".

Twisted Tornado 7, last of a clan of Texas Rangers who are masters of the art of lucha libre, was seen backstage.

"You know, in two weeks time, Fighting League EXtreme will be holding a pay-per-view event, and according to a memo I got from Commissioner Eric T. Figurehead, the main attraction is a tournament for the title of Grand Champion of Intense Combat. My dad told me that, one day, I would do what nobody in my family have done. And there are three things that my family have never done. Find Larry The Cable Guy unfunny, eat a 25 pound steak, and win a world championship. And by the end of that pay-per-view, on my daddy's birthday, I will have finally done one of those things... eat a 25 pound steak. I mean... win a world championship! So Git Along Little Kitties, or Dorothy's House will get dropped on yer be-hind."

Then we went to commercial.

El Hijo De La Hijo De La Fontanero v Big The Kaiju
El Hijo is a mexican illegitamite son of a certain American wrestling icon, while Big The Kaiju is a failed attempt at making a real-life Godzilla.

Big The Kaiju flexed his muscles, but El Hijo was unimpressed as he managed to throw Kaiju into the corner and nail right rands until a thumb to the eye stopped the technico. A European Uppercut would follow from Kaiju, who would then grasp Hijo by the throat and- to everyone's suprise- chokeslam the larger man. A two-count followed, and El Hijo would get and arm drag into arm bar, which Kaiju managed to stand out of and toss Hijo into the air, forcing the luchador out of the ring. El Hijo got on the apron and leapfrogged back in, but Kaiju simply stomped the canvas and Hijo and the ref fell down from the resulting shockwave. A massive lariat (making Hijo flip into the air) and a Tokyo Crusher 2000 led to the squash win.

Shock Squad were in the back now. Alpha spoke first.

Alpha: "Attention American traitors to the British Throne. We are the Shock Squad. We will defeat your so-called democracy, for we have superior training and discipline on our side. The sun will never set on our glorious motherland once we take the Grand Champion of Intense Combat title."

Beta: "FOR THE MOTHERLAND!"

They both give an English-style salute as we go to commercial.

MAIN EVENT: "Greatest Hero" Jin Yagami Jr vs Lord DARKNESS
Jin Yagami Jr is a masked Hogan/Inoki style babyface, while DARKNESS is 'the third cousin once removed of the college roomate of the son of Satan'

Yagami was attacked by DARKNESS before the bell, who slammed the hero and delivered a leg drop for a two count. DARKNESS continued his assualt, with forearms and a stalling suplex. The nailed a Pyramid Driver and went for the Cruelty Crush, but Jin rolled out of the way. Jin picked DARKNESS up for the Legendary Technique of Destiny, but DARKNESS back body dropped out of it. He nailed a powerslam on Jin who kicked out at two. Jin rolled up DARKNESS for two, then managed to hit a Complete Shot and a flying moonsualt for two. A Blue Thunder Driver attempt was blocked with a headlock takeover and the headlock was synched in, until Jin summoned THE FIGHTING SPIRIT THAT SHINES LIKE A BEACON and got to his feet, powering out of it and nailing a lariat. He then nailed the Legendary Technique of Destiny and got the three count. Jin Yagami Jr celebrated his win, however Lord DARKNESS is not the only man in the heel side of the roster who wants to impress Commissioner Figurehead for the upcoming FLEX Grand Champion Of Intense Combat title tournament, as Victor Von Scumbag, the supervillain who wants to use the title to power his doomsday machine, ran in and nailed Jin Yagami Jr with his Apple In Eden Driver II, knocking the ace out. The two major villains of FLEX aren't friends however, and they stared each other down to end the show.

[October Raven]

Part Two of our flashback series!
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FLEX Presents "Hearts of Steel, Bones of Cubic Zirconium episode two"... Late Late Nights on the Discovery Channel!

Milano Collection AT vs Shock Squad Alpha (With Shock Squad Beta)
The FLEX Auditorium (About as large as the party room of your local Dave and Buster's) was all cheers when the Italian Superstar entered the arena to face one-half of the evil miliatant Shock Squad. Milano was a house of fire, nailing a pair of dropkicks and an Armani Shoe Exchange for a nearfall. Beta tripped Milano letting Alpha take the advantage with a series of forearms to the back of the head and a DDT for two. Milano got an arm wringer in, grabbed Shock's helmet, and tossed him backwards onto his knee before attempting a Paradise Lock, but Beta would put Alpha's foot on the ropes. While the referee tried to kick Beta out of ringside, Alpha nailed Milano with this tonfa and set for the Shock Wave but Milano would counter with a Northern Lights Suplex for the three count. Milano would then let his invisible poodle maul Alpha until the sound of "Dirty Laundry" would be heard. A random man with a camera ran into the ring and began taking pictures of Milano's poodle until the fashion designer took the camera and began to leave... only to get caught with a choke submission from the cameraman, forced to pass out.

Commercial

After the break, the cameraman would have a microphone in hand.

"My name is Johnny Paparazzi. But you can call me 'The Enquirer'. I just wanted to be a photographer for the New York Times, but all I could get jobs for was the dirt sheets. So I'm gonna get paid by humilating guys like this meatball, put them in the Compromising Position, and send the pictures to every tabloid in the USA. And there ain't nothing FLEX can do about it, because these fans' lives are so pathetic they have to feed on the humilation of people like Milano Collection AT."

Next was an explanation of the "Which Envelope Has An Egg Sandwhich Inside Ladder Match". Two envelopes were in the air already. One of them contained an egg sandwhich, and the other a BK Stacker. If you got the Egg Sandwhich, you won, but if you got a BK Stacker, you were eliminated, BUT, you get to eat a damn good burger.

Jin Yagami Jr and Twisted Tornado 7 vs Lord DARKNESS and Victor Von Scumbag.

The babyfaces entered together however the heels did not. DARKNESS and Tornado started off, Tornado with a drop toe hold and la magistral for a sudden one count and Darkness following up with a belly to belly suplex for a one count followed up by a Tornado Small Package for a two count. Tag to Scumbag and the heels nailed a double lariat. Yagami went to save but the referee stopped him allowing a double urange slam for two. Scumbag lifted Tornado up for a Apple In Eden Driver II but Tornado took the backdoor and nailed an Impaler/Unpretter followed by a Gedo Clutch for a nearfall. Tag attempt to Yagami was cut off by Scumbag who tagged to DARKNESS. DARKNESS nailed a European Uppercut and a reverse DDT for a nearfall, toying with Yagami by holding Tornado's hand close to his corner. DARKNESS went for a Pyramid Driver and Tornado landed on his feet, getting a neckbreaker and a tag to Yagami, who cleaned house on the heels. Yagami went for the Legendary Technique of Destiny on DARKNESS who backdropped out of it, and Yagami would then nail the "Heroism Bomb" (Death Valley Driver), but Victor broke up the pin. Tornado would signal for his Dorothy's House finisher, but when he bounded to the top rope Yagami backed into the ropes to set for a lariat and Tornado fell on the outside. Yagami went to check on his partner and was blindsided by Scumbag who rolled Yagami back in the ring. An Apple In Eden Driver II was followed up by a Cruelty Crush... but Yagami kicked out thanks to THE FIGHTING SPIRIT THAT SHINES LIKE A BEACON. He nailed a Double STO and went for the Legendary Technique of Destiny on DARKNESS once more, but Scumbag used a "Secret Evil Device" (Foreign Object) leading to a DQ finish. The heels pounded on Yagami until Twisted Tornado made the save. It seemed like Tornado would turn on the babyface ace, but instead he shook hands with him.

Commercial break.

MAIN EVENT: El Hijo Del La Hijo Del La Fontanero, South Carolina Samurai, and a masked mystery opponent in a "Which Envelope Has An Egg Sandwich Inside" Ladder Match for the eigth spot in the Grand Champion of Intense Combat Tournament.

Fontanero and Samurai were confused at this mystery opponent who came out to "People Are Strange" by the Doors. Fontanero was in control until SC Samurai nailed a spinkick... while the mystery opponent just stood there. Samurai went for a reverse rana but Fontanero blocked and turned around for a Styles Clash-like facebuster... while the mystery opponent just stood there. Samurai nailed a Saito Suplex which Fontanero answered with a series of right hands and a figure four... while the mystery opponent, in all mysteriousness, just stood there. Finally Samurai escaped and nailed the Honorable Victory and climbed the ladder, with the Mystery opponent simply watching as the Samurai grabbed an envelope... BK Stacker! He climbed down the ladder, looking dejected, but Fontanero jumped Samurai, nailed a Bionic Elbow and stole the burger. While he was wolfing it down, the Mystery Man casually climbed the ladder and took the egg sandwhich! El Hijo didn't seem to care, as he finished off the burger. He did apparently want to eat the egg sandwhich too, and when he tried to take it the Mystery Man nailed a Wrist-Clutch exploder. The show ended with fans asking who this masked wrestler is.

[October Raven]

FLEX and Bob's Discount Gas presents Who Shot Mr. Potato Head 2007
Live at some high school's cafeteria!
Theme: "The Bicycle Song" Queen

GRAND CHAMPION OF INTENSE COMBAT TOURNAMENT ROUND ONE:

Lord DARKNESS vs Big The Kaiju

Even the most evil man in FLEX was intimidated by the 115-pound monster Big The Kaiju, and refused to go for the test of strength. He tried for a shoulder tackle, then a lariat, but Kaiju didn't feel a thing. Kaiju then picked DARKNESS up and gave him a spinebuster for a two count. Kaiju then used the Irish Whip on Lord DARKNESS and speared him for another nearfall. DARKNESS headed to the outside and the beast of the company went over the ropes to follow him. DARKNESS then threw a mysterious white powder known as "Talc" and rolled Kaiju back in the ring. He tried to slam down Kaiju, but couldn't, and instead nailed a European Uppercut, but Kaiju just stomped the ground and sent DARKNESS stumbling into the ref sending them both spilling to the floor. DARKNESS used this to his advantage and got from under the apron... the dreaded cardboard tube! He beat Kaiju senseless with the Cardboard Tube while the referee was still down, then revived the referee so he could make the three count after a Cruelty Crush.

Shock Squad Beta vs Mystery Opponent

Alpha took the microphone at this point.

"Attention traitor to the English Throne. We are the Shock Squad. The greatest tag team in the world. Our glorious motherland has chosen us to win the Grand Champion of Intense Combat title. Surrender or be destroyed. Since you are not even close to Beta's leauge, if you do not surrender he will let you do the first move."

Beta than grabbed the microphone.

"FOR THE MOTHERLAND!"

Mystery Opponent chose to use his Identity Crisis finisher. One, Two, Three.

Twisted Tornado 7 vs Victor Von Scumbag

Tornado got a satelite headscissors to start this which Scumbag rolled through in and got a spinning toe hold which Tornado countered into a small package which Scumbag countered by rolling Tornado onto his own shoulders for a nearfall. Scumbag was up to his usual sinister tricks, using an eye rack and Manhattan Drop to gain an advantage before nailing a Fisherman's Suplex for a two count. Tornado countered a Tilt-A-Whirl with and armdrag and followed that up with three more before executing a flawless rana. Scumbag attempted to use the "Secret Evil Device" but Tornado ducked and nailed a TKO then got on the apron for his Dorothy's House finisher for the three count.

Shock Squad Alpha vs "The Greatest Hero" Jin Yagami Jr

Alpha didn't even give the role model to children everywhere a chance to surrender, as he nailed him with a brutal shoulder tackle and forearm shot. Jin was on the ropes as Beta distracted the referee allowing Alpha to tie Jin's arms up and beat on him with the tonfa. He then delivered a vicious brainbuster but Yagami got his foot on the ropes. Alpha argued with the referee which allowed Yagami a chance to get to his feet, and he nailed a Blue Thunder Driver and a Northern Lights Suplex for nearfalls. He used a headlock takeover to set Alpha up for an Anaconda Vice but Beta put Alpha's leg on the rope. Alpha headbutted Yagami and kicked him in the stomach before drilling him with a Shock Wave, but then the FIGHTING SPIRIT THAT SHINES LIKE A BEACON kicked in! Yagami got out, and threw Alpha to the floor, nailing a Hollywood Star Press-style Quebradora on both members of the Shock Squad, before rolling Alpha back into the ring for a Legendary Technique of Destiny for the three count.

Non Tournament Match: BK Stacker Brawl: South Carolina Samurai vs El Hijo De La Hijo De La Fontanero

High stakes were on the line here, as only one man would walk out of here with a BK Stacker. The loser would be the first one to be forcefed food from Arby's. Fast food bags were placed on a table outside the ring, and El Hijo almost couldn't help himself... but South Carolina Samurai nailed a Spaceman Plancha knocking him into the table of foodstuffs! Samurai tossed Fontanero and an Arby's bag into the ring, but El Hijo got up and nailed a series of right hands, then worked on the leg of the samurai. He tried a figure four leglock but SC Samurai grabbed the ropes to break it. Samurai hit a Glimmering Warlock and reached for the Arby's bag, but was too disgusted by the contents to pull out the sandwhich. El Hijo recovered and slammed Samurai onto the mat three times before dropping an elbow, but the only thing he hit was the canvas as Samurai got to his feet and attempted the Honorable Victory, but was countered with a snapmare and a sleeper. Samurai fought his way back to his feet, elbowed Hijo in the gut, and went to the ropes but was nailed with a Bionic Elbow. Hijo went to the table outside and grabbed an Arby's soda, spilling it in the face of SC Samurai. The referee decided that was 'close enough' and rang the bell, as Samurai gagged, saying "Oh God, even their drinks are terrible" He then watched in horror as Fontanero reached into the Arby's bag and wolfed down the contents. Samurai held his hand to his mouth as he bolted out of the arena while Fontanero danced for the crowd.

ROUND TWO OF THE TOURNAMENT:

Twisted Tornado 7 vs Lord DARKNESS

Twisted Tornado 7 began the match with flying clotheslines and a Busaiku Knee kick, but DARKNESS caught him going to the well too often and nailed a Boss Man Slam. DARKNESS followed this up with a stalling suplex that seemed to last forever and a series of European Uppercuts. Tornado managed to get a Discus Punch in which floored the evil mastermind. Tornado went for Dorothy's House, but Darkness recovered and shoved Tornado off the top rope sending him into the barricade. He delivered an Oklahoma Slam on the floor and then a Pyramid Driver, before bringing Tornado back into the ring for a Cruelty Crush and the academic three count.

"The Greatest Hero" Jin Yagami Jr vs Mystery Opponent

Jin Yagami Jr was very cautious of the mystery opponent, who just stood there looking mysterious. Jin went for a headlock takedown which the Mystery Opponent countered with a headscissors, and Jin did a handstand out of it before dropkicking the Mystery Opponent in his mysterious face. Jin went for an STF but the Mystery Opponent got to the ropes, then on the recovery, the Mystery Opponent went for the Headlock Takedown, which Jin countered with a headscissors, so the Mystery Opponent did a handstand out of it and dropkicked Jin in the face following up with and STF. Jin got to the ropes, and the Mystery Opponent went to his corner, looking very mysterious indeed. Jin nailed an STO and a moonsualt, but the Mystery Opponent got the knees, and caught Jin with a Identity Crisis, but the FIGHTING SPIRIT THAT SHINES LIKE A BEACON allowed Jin to kip up, and nail the Legendary Technique of Destiny for the three count!

Non-Tournament Match: Milano Collection AT vs Johnny "The Enquirer" Paparazzi

In another match stemming from the last episode of Hearts Of Steel, Bones of Cubic Zirconium, the world's greatest fashion designer faced off against the man who took several candid shots of his favorite invisible poodle. Paparazzi kept taking picctures of the poodle, and the poodle responded by biting him in the crotch, then humping his leg while he was down! Johnny was infuriated and went for a poison needle elbow on the poodle, who was scooped up by Milano. Milano then nailed lariat after lariat on Johnny, then locked his legs and arms up on the bottom rope and drilled him with a basement dropkick to the ribs, following that up with an Armani Shoe Exchange for the nearfall. Johnny got a crevice in, then followed it up with a snapmare and a stump puller, but the submission expert Milano managed to trip up Johnny and went for a twisted grapevine leglock, then followed that up with a spinning toe hold, which he then transitioned into a Inverted Indian Deathlock. Johnny grabbed the ropes then with his free hand got his camera and took more pictures of the invisible poodle. Milano snapped and got a chair, but Johnny snapped a picture getting the flash right in Milano's eyes, allowing Johnny to grab the dazed Milano and choke him out with the "Compromising Position".

Grand Champion of Intense Combat Finals: Lord DARKNESS vs Jin Yagami Jr.

The two stared down each other until DARKNESS shoved Jin down. Jin got up and shoved DARKNESS down. They went into a collar and elbow tie up, DARKNESS backing Jin into the corner, and kicked him in the stomach and gave him a European Uppercut instead of a clean break. Jin managed a drop toe hold and a half crab that DARKNESS managed to escape from locking in his own half crab, and Jin got to the ropes. Jin then nailed a Complete Shot, then a back suplex, and went for the moonsualt but DARKNESS crotched him then went up... and drilled Jin with a Super Pyramid Driver for a near fall! Jin went for a lariat but DARKNESS pulled the referee in the way, so when Jin nailed the Legendary Technique of Destiny there was nobody to count. He tried to revive the referee, but by the time he managed to, DARKNESS was up and press slammed Jin before going up and nailing not one but two Cruelty Crushes. However, Jin was able to kick out again, and nail the "Heroism Bomb" He draped an arm over DARKNESS' chest, but only got two and three-quarters. DARKNESS got back into it with a pair of Euro Uppercuts, then got him in a mockery of the Herosim Bomb, the "Villany Bomb" (Burning Hammer), drilling him on his neck! However the FIGHTING SPIRIT THAT SHINES LIKE A BEACON helped Yagami kicked out at the last second! DARKNESS went for a roaring elbow, but Jin ducked and got an Everest Suplex for a three count! The technico side of the locker room celebrate with the Greatest Hero as a single baloon and a handfull of confetti rained from the ceiling to close the show!

[October Raven]

Hearts of Steel, Bones of Cubic Zirconium Episode III: Dennis The Phantom Menace

We open with Eric T. Figurehead in the ring, with a microphone in hand.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have an amazing announcement. Fighting League EXtreme has just signed a new wrestler who will be making his in-ring debut in three weeks at our next pay per view, When Democracy Fails You Can Count On Stalin 2007, ladies and gentlemen... THE BURGER KING!"

And sure enough, the mascot for the second largest resturant chain in the world, The Burger King, came out to Weird Al Yankovic's "Eat It", and got a microphone until he was interrupted by El Hijo De La Hijo De La Fontanero.

"Hey, Burger Rey, I got dem chicken fries yesturday an' lemme tell ya, dey suck! And for that reason, I have a problem with you dadday, so here's what we're gonna do, see, me an' you, at When Democracy Fails You Can Count on Stalin... an when you get in the ring with the Illegal Alien Dream, Voy a conseguir cobarde como un mono!

Commercial Break, then our first match of the night.

Team SEXUAL (Milano Collection AT and Magnum TOKYO) vs The Shock Squad

The Shock Squad went 0-2 at Who Shot Mr Potato Head so they need the win here tonight. Magnum and Alpha began in the ring, and Alpha tried a lariat but TOKYO nailed a huge back suplex and a standing rana for a two count tag to Milano and they nailed a double back suplex and a double Northern Lights, and Milano used this for a twisted grapevine lock which was broken up by Beta. Beta dragged Alpha to their side of the ring and then made the tag, hammering Milano with a forearm and nailing a cheap shot to TOKYO. Beta used an arm drag, then a big DDT, before going up top and nailing a flying headbutt for two. Milano nailed a flying forearm and Armani Shoe Exchange for a nearfall, and Alpha tried to use the tonfa, but Milano tossed Alpha over the top rope to the outside, and Team SEXUAL used their Playgirl Pin Up finisher on Beta for the pinfall victory. Afterwards TOKYO went to do the famous Egoist Dance, however Johnny Paparazzy made his way to the ring to take pictures. Milano went to stop him, but Johnny hit him with the camera, and then got behind TOKYO in the ring and locked in the Compromising Position! After choking out Magnum he took the stole the pink umbrella, drawing major heel heat.

Next, Jin Yagami Jr. came out for an interview with guest interviewer of MXC fame, Kenny Blackenship.

Kenny: Jin Yagami Jr, you are the Grand Champion of Intense Combat, and your first title defense will be at When Democracy Fails You Can Count On Stalin. I know you're ready for any opponent that comes your way.

Jin: Right you are, Ken. I don't know who my opponent will be, but I'm sure Eric T. Figurehead will have a contendership match very soon. Until then, kids, remember to say your milk, drink your vitamins, and take your prayers! And stay in school, because you never know when you have to figure out if something is at a right angle or not!

And then we went to our second match of the night, the first six-man tag in FLEX history!

Victor Von Scumbag, Big The Kaiju, and Mystery Opponent vs Twisted Tornado 7 and the Carolina Elite Fighting Force

Victor Von Scumbag and South Carolina Samurai started out. Scumbag went for a lariat while Samurai cartwheeled under it, and nailed a Hart Attack Lariat and follow it up with a snapmare and a Kenka Kick to the face of the seated Scumbag! Samurai went to the top rope for a flying leg drop but Scumbag rolled out of the way. Tags to Mystery Opponent and North Carolina Ninja. Ninja threw a smokebomb... and so did Mystery Opponent. When the smoke cleared, neither man was in the ring, so the confused ref began to count to twenty. Meanwhile, Big The Kaiju went in the ring, and stomped on the canvas, making everyone fall off the apron and sending the referee on his ass. Then we saw Mystery Opponent at the stage nailing the Identity Crisis... on a life size dummy! Mystery Opponent just mysteriously looked around as North Carolina Ninja went back into the ring from underneath. Mystery Opponent went in and was nailed with the Secret Art of the Shadows, but the ref was still stunned. Twisted Tornado tagged in and went for Dorothy's House, but Big The Kaiju caught him and nailed a powerbomb to the floor! He rolled Tornado back in the ring and Opponent mystery draped an arm over Tornado's shoulders for the three count.

Then, we switched to a CGI render of a mideval castle, and an explosion destroys one of the towers. Cut to a pair of lego men, one with a crown and one with a suit.

Lego King: What happen?!

Lego Suit: Somebody set up us the bomb!

Lego King: What you say?

Suit: ...Nevermind. The point is, we need to send someone to America to find out who was responsible for this!

King: Very well, we shall send... Secret Agent Mann.

Shot of a man in a tux walking through a spot in a dark background a-la James Bond, however instead of shooting the 'target', he gets shot, and falls over.

SECRET AGENT MANN

Coming soon to FLEX.

After the commercial, we had our main event.

El Hijo De La Hijo De La Fontanero vs Lord DARKNESS

Fontanero and DARKNESS locked up in the center of the ring, and Fontanero slammed DARKNESS down and began to dance. DARKNESS got up and European Uppercutted Fontanero and gave him a big DDT. He followed this up with a Stalling Suplex and a back body drop for a two count. Fontanero used a series of right hands and a discus punch, then went for the figure four, but DARKNESS turned it over and got to the ropes. The Burger King got to ringside and put a BK stacker in the corner. Fontanero had just dropped DARKNESS with a Bionic Elbow, then smelled the delicious burger, and went for it like a Mexican Illegitamate Son of Dusty Rhodes on... well, a BK Stacker. This gave Lord DARKNESS time to recover and nail Fontanero with a Pyramid Driver and a Cruelty Crush for the three count. While DARKNESS celebrated, the Burger King threw chicken fries into the crowd as the show closed.