Week 4, Show 2
Jun 19, 2009 4:44:10 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Jun 19, 2009 4:44:10 GMT -5
Universal Battalion League - 2008/2009
Week 4: Show 2
Valuan Arena - Valua, Arcadia
Hi guys! It's Jean Carter and have a big show for you tonight. It is the 8th show of this Battalion and so we are now halfway through! We're here in the Valuan Arena in...um, sunny (even if the sun is a different color!) Valua on the planet of "Arcadia" (...) and I want to say more about this place but we're sworn to secrecy about how we got here and what actually IS here. Moon security is nothing compared to this place and we actually have soldiers - the Valuan Guard - reading what I'm writing. AllI can say is that if you look at map, we're around "24". Ooh I said too much!! Or wait, I must not have if I'm still here! Valua is a proud military state with a very strong caste system. The upper deck of this arena (which UBL did its best to make look like home) seems to be filled with the nobility of the town whereas the lower floor seating is where all the fun action is - all the more "down to earth" fans are here! But that's all I can say now or else the guards and Drake (who's sitting in the upper deck luxury box) will get mad at me. So onto the card!
Tonight's Card:
Block C matches:
Fatman Pro Wresling vs. Team SMN
Canada Brothers vs. Orochi Army
PCW Originals vs. Dod Squod
Interblock Match: Clan of the Sun vs. Los Rudos Infernos
Block D Matches:
Los Salseros Americanos vs. BINGO-1 Heroes
TMG 200Y vs. Black Venom
Pure Technical F'n Wrestling vs. ARMADA
(Quick Notes: The Block Matches are for league rankings and consist of 2 on 2 elimination tags. The InterBlock match is not for league rankings and consists of a one fall, 3 on 3 tornado match)
Block C
Our first match tonight is the Fatman Pro Wres Battalion against Team SMN! Fatman has an astounding 3-0 record so far whereas SMN is sporting an also great 2-0 record. So both teams have their undefeated streak on the line here in what many consider the toughest sub-league!! Let's see what happens!!
Match #1: Fatman Pro Wrestling vs. Team SMN
Park Hyun Soo/Sit Kwok Fu vs. Razgriz/Aigion
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Gotta give Park a lot of credit for fighting his hardest against 2 men at the end but Team SMN just had better luck here. Sit Kwok Fu had a great display but SMN would not yield.
Fatman Pro Wres (X) [La Majistral - 32:37] (O) Team SMN
Ok how's THAT for being concise, huh Drake!? Our next match features the Canada Brothers against Orochi Army. Orochi Army are at 1 win and 1 losses while the Canada Brothers have yet to win a match but lost twice. Both teams are out, it's Doug and Dave for the Canada Brothers and Mr. Figaro with our owner, Orochi Geese for his Orochi Army team namesake. Geese and Figgy don't seem to be talking much. But it looks like the Drake has come out with a microphone!! Help them heal, Drake!
[Drake:] "Canada Brothers, for failing to eliminate Hank Panky at the previous Open show, your punishment is nigh. OrochiGeese will have your heads for the insult!"
Ack, Mr. Figaro has a microphone too!!
[Mr. Figaro:] "Can it, Yoshida. Geese, if you plan to hurt these two, you can count me out of it. Either we WRESTLE them or you do this alone."
[Drake:] "This is an insult to your emperor!!"
[Mr. Figaro:] "I have NO Emperor. Your move, Geese."
Oh me oh my Geese is not happy about this but he just 'hmphs' and takes the microphone from Figaro.
[Geese:] "Suit yourself. I need you healthy anyway at the next show to face the Dods. It's better you rest up. Go to the back, I'll take care of these losers."
Ahh, Geese is going one on two!! And Figaro is just staring at him from outside the ring. I know Figaro said he wasn't going to hurt them but I do hope he steps in if Geese tries to!
Match #2: Canada Brothers vs. Orochi Army
Canada Doug/Canada Dave vs. Orochi Geese/Mr. Figaro (?)
Ah! The match started before the bell rang as Geese just clocks his microphone against the head (causing a huge feedback sound throughout the arena) of Canada Doug and then used a mic-assisted uraken against Canada Dave!! The bell is ringing now but both men are down and Geese is toying with them, using chon kicks to add insult to injury. Geese hoists up Doug for a "Shock through Earth" elevated German suplex and gets the easy victory as Dave is still down. Then Geese sends Doug out of the ring with a "Flash Through the Sky" throwing German Suplex and Dave lands inches from Mr. Figaro's feet. Geese smirks and then DDT's Canada Dave, throws his own arms into the air while roaring and slaps on the Orochi Clutch! Dave is tapping like wild as the bell rings. Geese gets up after he looks bored and smiles at Figaro again.
Canada Brothers (X) ["Orochi Clutch" - 15:40] (O) Orochi Army
Geese then picks up Canada Dave and goes to position him for a Raging Bolt right on top of the mic!!
[Mr. Figaro:] "Do it and we're done. Clyde and I walk, it's over. You take on the Dods yourself and I assure you it won't be the same as it was tonight."
"Damn right it won't!"
Oh no! That sounded like Jack Dod! And it is! The Dods are here! All three of the Battalion are here and they have chairs!! They're running to the ring. Geese is forced to throw down Dave rather then use the Raging Bolt on him and now Figaro is dragging Geese out of the ring before the Dods enter it!! Mr. Clyde has materialized from out of nowhere and has what looks to be a SWORD!! This is tense!! But Jack Dod smiles and puts down his chair! Geese smiles right back at him. And folks we are only ONE show away from the Orochi Army/Dod Squod match and tensions are already through the roof!!
The Orochi Army leaves, with Geese in front of Figaro and Clyde, not speaking or THANKING either for getting his back and quite possibly saving his career! The Dods are remaining out here cause we actually have a huge match coming up now involving them. They are undefeated with a 2 and 0 record and are about to face the PCW Originals with a 2 and 1 record. For all the PW-W fans who remember the Jason Blackhart vs. Jack Dod wars, realize that Jack Dod will now be facing the former mentor of Jason Blackhart, Book Matthews!! And I'm sure Ronnie Dod facing Mike Sandberg has some kind of cosmic implications that some sage on a mountain top is troubled by! But the fans here aren't troubled one bit and many of them are even cheering for both Battalions! Let's see what happens!!
Match #3: PCW Originals vs. Dod Squod
Mike Sandberg/Book Matthews vs. Ronnie Dod/Jack Dod
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You gotta hand it to Book Matthews here! After an epic encounter, Jack Dod hit him with everything he had but he couldn't put him away! He had to tag out to the fresh Ronnie Dod to finish the job! And then Mike Sandberg held on for as long as he could before the Dods picked up the HUGE victory here. This was one of my favorite league matches so far!! The Dods were tested but they appear ready for the Orochi Army!
PCW Originals (X) [Arm Triangle Choke- 30:29] (O) Dod Squod
Intermission
Nope, can't talk much about this anymore but the Valuan fans were LOVING the merchandise. I think they bought more then any other arena fans!! I heard something about them saying that "earth products" would sell very well on the black market but i couldn't be sure about that. Unfortunately they weren't able to try any of "Park's Chippy Stand" cause Young Tae is actually in a match later tonight so he's backstage getting ready for it. But the Valuan fans couldn't have been any happier with some of the left over funnel cake from the McPro show!! Now it's time for the Interblock match as Clan of the Sun, who appear to be getting a LOT of support from the fans here, face off against Los Rudos Infernos who are being booed by EVERYONE. They have more "heat" then a battalion named after the sun! That's saying something!!
Interblock Match: Clan of the Sun vs. Los Rudos Infernos
Apollo Helios/Ra-Horus-Aten/Huitzilopochtli vs. Stuart Robinson/VD Dod/Fat Lip
And it didn't take long to find out why as LRI immediately resort to cheating. Luckily for them, Coach McGuirk seems to have made his career in "looking the other way". But Clan of the Sun (CoS) isn't taking it for long and Apollo breaks out with some huge power moves! It's kind hard to even call this match but after what LRI did on the moon, Drake didn't want to risk televising them doing something equally eggregious on another planet! So this'll have to do.
After a lot of brawling, more cheating, and a small rebellion in the stands quelled by the handsome Valuan Guard, LRI took this match by a combination of Stuart's fireball connecting with Huitzy.
Clan of the Sun (X) [BURN! Mother F*cker! - 18:50] (O) Los Rudos Infernos
And this isn't over as now VD Dod props Huitzi up into the corner while Fat Lip takes out his lighter. Stuart screams some remark about "showing the Clan some REAL sunshine" (I had to clean it up cause he cussed a lot more!) and as VD Dod ignites his lighter, Stuart aims a huge fireball into it to connect with the already hurt Huitzi!! This is exactly why Drake didn't want to televise these maniacs and Huitzi would have been totally injured had the BINGO-1 Battalion not run out. See, I couldn't even report that in real time cause I was shocked when I saw it!! But the BINGO-1 team saved Huitzi and ran off the evil-doers. They didn't want to see another Battalion wrestler hurt by the antics of LRI, like Johny BINGO was. The crowd was pretty rowdy during this and I think I saw some upper deck Valuans faint! I don't blame them!
Block D
And as coincidence has it. BINGO-1 are also out for their match!! They are 2 and 1 and are about to face Los Salseros Americanos who are kinda surprising everyone with a 2 and 0 record so far! Unfortunately for LSA, they are against a very angry BINGO-1 team after what LRI just tried to do.
Match #4: Los Salseros Americanos vs. BINGO-1
Avocado Schwartz/Nectarine Hughes vs. D.F.Allen/Tommy BONGO
This was a stretch for LSA on any day but today just wasn't nice to them, and neither was this BINGO-1 team. They did their best to show restraint, realizing "LSA" was not "LRI" but the frustration of the entire league just built up to this and well, what are an avocado and a nectarine gonna do against two huge angry dudes whose internal sadness for losing a friend manifests into masculine, aggressive anger? (This pysch lesson brought to you by Jean Carter!) Well, not much of anything. Nectarine Hughes, whose size has fared well was taken completely off guard by the speed of D.F. Allen and the superior strength of Tommy BONGO. And Avocado's sound strategy was turned into juice mush by the superior experience of the BINGO-1 team. The only real shot they had was a Nectarine "Salsa Bomb Press" onto BONGO which was kicked out of at 2. And this ended pretty mercifully after a DF Allen flying knee knocked Avocado loopy and a BONGO BOMBAHH put away the juicy summer Nectarine. Nice effort, LSA, it just wasn't your time...even though Nectarines are in season. (maybe they aren't in Valua? Note to self - buy Valua Farmer's Almanac before we leave).
LSA (X) [BONGO BOMBAHH - 13:20] (O) BINGO-1
(Note to fans: Customs wouldn't allow me to bring any Valuan materials outside the country but I did smuggle an "Arcadia" keychain. Small victories!)
Speaking of arcades, TMG 200Y came out to the next match as GokuTAKU and Terry McCloud. But something about the costumes made the audience so bad they rioted AGAIN and TMG200Y were asked to take their costumes off by Valuan Security, and then by Drake Yoshida. Wanting to avoid a forced disqualification they complied, but they definitely seemed a bit shaken by the hostile crowd here. Maybe this crowd doesn't like the moon, it's really hard for me to tell. They did seem to like Black Venom though who were allowed to keep the bulk of their clothing on. However, Black Venom would be best to concern themselves about their record and not their wardrobe as they are at a painful 3 losses with no wins. TMG is at 2 wins and no losses so something's gonna have to give here for Black Venom to walk out feeling fulfilled. TMG is not happy with the crowd treatment but I think Black Venom is more frustrated at their past matches. Let's see who can use that frustration better then the other!!
Match #5: TMG200Y vs. Black Venom
OTAKU/Sam S. McCloud vs. Kurobara/Dokuja
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And Black Venom got a huge break when Terry McCloud completely whiffed on a huge plancha attempt! I'm telling you, the crowd really rattled him here! Making him change his attire and being boisterous!! When he was about to run, you could tell they got to him! And he messed his leg up landing like that, something that Black Venom noticed and capitalized on! He was also a half step off, allowing that final super kick and Kurobara adding the insult to injury at the end with that spinning leg lock! Black Venom finally pick up a win and TMG is none too happy! Of note is that Team Chuu Chuu was not allowed by General Celes to come here as she didn't want to expose them to any "Arcadian business" and complicate things further.
TMG200Y (X) [Superkick - 25:18] (O) Black Venom
And folks we're up to our final match now!! I know, right? Quick! Team PTFW comes out led by Martin Fairbairn and with Park Young Tae looking ready. They are 2 and 1 and are really hungry for a victory in this huge match. And now here comes ARMADA who is getting HUGE applause, deafening, from the upper deck crew!! If this is a military state, then they sure would love the profits that an armada would provide them! At least that's how Celes explained it to me afterwards, adding that "Revolution will eventually come to free the people from Empires as it always does". Wow, she's really smart!! And as much as the nobles loved ARMADA, the fans on the floor HATED them. I actually saw some people get tazed cause they tried to throw stuff at Vigoro!! Galcian just laughed and bowed to the upper crowd before getting into the ring! This is a tense situation here. It also seems the floor crowd loves Martin Fairbairn and is chanting "one of us, one of us" at him while he downs a few beers. He even threw a few at the crowd, one hitting one of the Valuan Guards!! Folks this is getting dangerous!!
Match #6: PTFW vs. ARMADA
Martin Fairbairn/Park Young Tae vs. Vigoro/Galcian
Vigoro and Martin meet in the ring first and sparks literally fly (probably from the swords in the crowd) These two are going at it with BIG MAN stuff - punches, body slams, etc! Martin gets the edge with his "PURE TECHNICAL FRIGGIN WRESTLING" by taking Vigoro down with a double leg mount and begins headbutting him! Galcian shouts out "Oh you wanna wrestle, big man?" Martin nods and allows Vigoro to get up to tag in Galcian. The crowd goes nuts in their own way as Galcian begins outwrestling Martin! Galcian is crisp as pizza crust here, showing off one of the greatest technical skillsets in UBL today. Martin seems irritated and headbutts Galcian off him, and tags in Park. Park goes to work with his martial art skills which gives Galcian a lot of trouble, before he tags in Vigoro who overpowers Park until he tags Martin back in!! Then Martin outwrestles Vigoro until Galcian is legal again and we're back to square one!! (Breathes)
Tthe crowd is building to a tizzy and a few men escape the guards to go right near the ring and yell - "YOU SET MY HOUSE ON FIRE WITH NAPALM YOU BASTARD" to Galcian which is certainly the kind of thing that would distract a man! But you don't want to be distracted against Martin Fairbairn as he grabs Galcian from behind with a HUGE reverse powerbomb! He gets the cover and Vigoro is still too distracted by the fans (getting ready to stop them from entering the ring) to stop the pin! PTFW is up 2-1 in the match!
Vigoro is incensed at this and levels Martin as he's getting up with the "Draco Cannon" (Axe Bomber). He goes for the cover but Park Young Tae breaks it up! That was Draco's best chance for victory here but Martin is certainly out of it. Vigoro goes for a powerbomb and hits it, but Park is in again! And Vigoro has a real dilemna here as there's nothing he'll be able to do. He's not a submission expert like Galcian and Martin won't tap out anyway. If he's knocked out, he'd still have to be covered for three seconds and Park is too vigilant. Vigoro is getting extremely frustrated which is causing the crowd to laugh at him. Galcian isn't out of the arena yet and gets Vigoro to come over to him. With Martin still down, no one is able to attack him. Galcian whispers to Vigoro and Vigoro tentatively nods. Galcian gives him a microphone, Vigoro gets right in the middle of the ring and says "DEATH TO ARKADIAN PEASANTS!"
OMG - the crowd, they just OMG WE HAVE A RIOT!! The crowd just passed the Valuan Guard and is in the ring, they took a shot at Vigoro!! The ref is calling for the bell to ring!! What is the ruling!! Drake Yoshida is talking to the timekeeper via headphones - No!! This wasn't PTFW's fault!! It was ARMADA who caused this! The peasants...err, crowd didn't even hurt Vigoro...well, ok, now they're hurting Vigoro after that ruling!! But Galcian is back in and the Valuan guard who are helping clear PTFW out - and omg, Martin is back up and swinging at everything and everyone! he's the angriest guy in this arena now after what just happened! Martin has cleared out the ring and is absolutely furious at what just happened! Meanwhile Galcian is backing up with a huge smile, he just engineered a coup in this match - Vigoro wasn't able to put the situation away and so Galcian schemed to make the victory happen! Bad man!!
PTFW (X) [CROWD RIOT - 25:50] (O) ARMADA
And this show is coming to a close as the nobels retreat hastily out of the arena while there's a total melee happening on the floor!! This has been Jean Carter and we're coming to you next from a place I won't need to get shots for and an interdimensional passport!! That's right, the Big Apple! Peter Venkman Memorial Arena, the UBL home arena right outside of New York City! And we are headlined by what many see as the biggest match of this Battalion, if not from a statistics point of view, certainly from an attitude one - Orochi Army takes on the Dod Squod! Folks, we'll see you next month!!
(As for lil ole me, I made it back here in one piece so don't worry about the riot!! Bye-e!)
Week 4: Show 2
Valuan Arena - Valua, Arcadia
Hi guys! It's Jean Carter and have a big show for you tonight. It is the 8th show of this Battalion and so we are now halfway through! We're here in the Valuan Arena in...um, sunny (even if the sun is a different color!) Valua on the planet of "Arcadia" (...) and I want to say more about this place but we're sworn to secrecy about how we got here and what actually IS here. Moon security is nothing compared to this place and we actually have soldiers - the Valuan Guard - reading what I'm writing. AllI can say is that if you look at map, we're around "24". Ooh I said too much!! Or wait, I must not have if I'm still here! Valua is a proud military state with a very strong caste system. The upper deck of this arena (which UBL did its best to make look like home) seems to be filled with the nobility of the town whereas the lower floor seating is where all the fun action is - all the more "down to earth" fans are here! But that's all I can say now or else the guards and Drake (who's sitting in the upper deck luxury box) will get mad at me. So onto the card!
Tonight's Card:
Block C matches:
Fatman Pro Wresling vs. Team SMN
Canada Brothers vs. Orochi Army
PCW Originals vs. Dod Squod
Interblock Match: Clan of the Sun vs. Los Rudos Infernos
Block D Matches:
Los Salseros Americanos vs. BINGO-1 Heroes
TMG 200Y vs. Black Venom
Pure Technical F'n Wrestling vs. ARMADA
(Quick Notes: The Block Matches are for league rankings and consist of 2 on 2 elimination tags. The InterBlock match is not for league rankings and consists of a one fall, 3 on 3 tornado match)
Block C
Our first match tonight is the Fatman Pro Wres Battalion against Team SMN! Fatman has an astounding 3-0 record so far whereas SMN is sporting an also great 2-0 record. So both teams have their undefeated streak on the line here in what many consider the toughest sub-league!! Let's see what happens!!
Match #1: Fatman Pro Wrestling vs. Team SMN
Park Hyun Soo/Sit Kwok Fu vs. Razgriz/Aigion
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Gotta give Park a lot of credit for fighting his hardest against 2 men at the end but Team SMN just had better luck here. Sit Kwok Fu had a great display but SMN would not yield.
Fatman Pro Wres (X) [La Majistral - 32:37] (O) Team SMN
Ok how's THAT for being concise, huh Drake!? Our next match features the Canada Brothers against Orochi Army. Orochi Army are at 1 win and 1 losses while the Canada Brothers have yet to win a match but lost twice. Both teams are out, it's Doug and Dave for the Canada Brothers and Mr. Figaro with our owner, Orochi Geese for his Orochi Army team namesake. Geese and Figgy don't seem to be talking much. But it looks like the Drake has come out with a microphone!! Help them heal, Drake!
[Drake:] "Canada Brothers, for failing to eliminate Hank Panky at the previous Open show, your punishment is nigh. OrochiGeese will have your heads for the insult!"
Ack, Mr. Figaro has a microphone too!!
[Mr. Figaro:] "Can it, Yoshida. Geese, if you plan to hurt these two, you can count me out of it. Either we WRESTLE them or you do this alone."
[Drake:] "This is an insult to your emperor!!"
[Mr. Figaro:] "I have NO Emperor. Your move, Geese."
Oh me oh my Geese is not happy about this but he just 'hmphs' and takes the microphone from Figaro.
[Geese:] "Suit yourself. I need you healthy anyway at the next show to face the Dods. It's better you rest up. Go to the back, I'll take care of these losers."
Ahh, Geese is going one on two!! And Figaro is just staring at him from outside the ring. I know Figaro said he wasn't going to hurt them but I do hope he steps in if Geese tries to!
Match #2: Canada Brothers vs. Orochi Army
Canada Doug/Canada Dave vs. Orochi Geese/Mr. Figaro (?)
Ah! The match started before the bell rang as Geese just clocks his microphone against the head (causing a huge feedback sound throughout the arena) of Canada Doug and then used a mic-assisted uraken against Canada Dave!! The bell is ringing now but both men are down and Geese is toying with them, using chon kicks to add insult to injury. Geese hoists up Doug for a "Shock through Earth" elevated German suplex and gets the easy victory as Dave is still down. Then Geese sends Doug out of the ring with a "Flash Through the Sky" throwing German Suplex and Dave lands inches from Mr. Figaro's feet. Geese smirks and then DDT's Canada Dave, throws his own arms into the air while roaring and slaps on the Orochi Clutch! Dave is tapping like wild as the bell rings. Geese gets up after he looks bored and smiles at Figaro again.
Canada Brothers (X) ["Orochi Clutch" - 15:40] (O) Orochi Army
Geese then picks up Canada Dave and goes to position him for a Raging Bolt right on top of the mic!!
[Mr. Figaro:] "Do it and we're done. Clyde and I walk, it's over. You take on the Dods yourself and I assure you it won't be the same as it was tonight."
"Damn right it won't!"
Oh no! That sounded like Jack Dod! And it is! The Dods are here! All three of the Battalion are here and they have chairs!! They're running to the ring. Geese is forced to throw down Dave rather then use the Raging Bolt on him and now Figaro is dragging Geese out of the ring before the Dods enter it!! Mr. Clyde has materialized from out of nowhere and has what looks to be a SWORD!! This is tense!! But Jack Dod smiles and puts down his chair! Geese smiles right back at him. And folks we are only ONE show away from the Orochi Army/Dod Squod match and tensions are already through the roof!!
The Orochi Army leaves, with Geese in front of Figaro and Clyde, not speaking or THANKING either for getting his back and quite possibly saving his career! The Dods are remaining out here cause we actually have a huge match coming up now involving them. They are undefeated with a 2 and 0 record and are about to face the PCW Originals with a 2 and 1 record. For all the PW-W fans who remember the Jason Blackhart vs. Jack Dod wars, realize that Jack Dod will now be facing the former mentor of Jason Blackhart, Book Matthews!! And I'm sure Ronnie Dod facing Mike Sandberg has some kind of cosmic implications that some sage on a mountain top is troubled by! But the fans here aren't troubled one bit and many of them are even cheering for both Battalions! Let's see what happens!!
Match #3: PCW Originals vs. Dod Squod
Mike Sandberg/Book Matthews vs. Ronnie Dod/Jack Dod
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You gotta hand it to Book Matthews here! After an epic encounter, Jack Dod hit him with everything he had but he couldn't put him away! He had to tag out to the fresh Ronnie Dod to finish the job! And then Mike Sandberg held on for as long as he could before the Dods picked up the HUGE victory here. This was one of my favorite league matches so far!! The Dods were tested but they appear ready for the Orochi Army!
PCW Originals (X) [Arm Triangle Choke- 30:29] (O) Dod Squod
Intermission
Nope, can't talk much about this anymore but the Valuan fans were LOVING the merchandise. I think they bought more then any other arena fans!! I heard something about them saying that "earth products" would sell very well on the black market but i couldn't be sure about that. Unfortunately they weren't able to try any of "Park's Chippy Stand" cause Young Tae is actually in a match later tonight so he's backstage getting ready for it. But the Valuan fans couldn't have been any happier with some of the left over funnel cake from the McPro show!! Now it's time for the Interblock match as Clan of the Sun, who appear to be getting a LOT of support from the fans here, face off against Los Rudos Infernos who are being booed by EVERYONE. They have more "heat" then a battalion named after the sun! That's saying something!!
Interblock Match: Clan of the Sun vs. Los Rudos Infernos
Apollo Helios/Ra-Horus-Aten/Huitzilopochtli vs. Stuart Robinson/VD Dod/Fat Lip
And it didn't take long to find out why as LRI immediately resort to cheating. Luckily for them, Coach McGuirk seems to have made his career in "looking the other way". But Clan of the Sun (CoS) isn't taking it for long and Apollo breaks out with some huge power moves! It's kind hard to even call this match but after what LRI did on the moon, Drake didn't want to risk televising them doing something equally eggregious on another planet! So this'll have to do.
After a lot of brawling, more cheating, and a small rebellion in the stands quelled by the handsome Valuan Guard, LRI took this match by a combination of Stuart's fireball connecting with Huitzy.
Clan of the Sun (X) [BURN! Mother F*cker! - 18:50] (O) Los Rudos Infernos
And this isn't over as now VD Dod props Huitzi up into the corner while Fat Lip takes out his lighter. Stuart screams some remark about "showing the Clan some REAL sunshine" (I had to clean it up cause he cussed a lot more!) and as VD Dod ignites his lighter, Stuart aims a huge fireball into it to connect with the already hurt Huitzi!! This is exactly why Drake didn't want to televise these maniacs and Huitzi would have been totally injured had the BINGO-1 Battalion not run out. See, I couldn't even report that in real time cause I was shocked when I saw it!! But the BINGO-1 team saved Huitzi and ran off the evil-doers. They didn't want to see another Battalion wrestler hurt by the antics of LRI, like Johny BINGO was. The crowd was pretty rowdy during this and I think I saw some upper deck Valuans faint! I don't blame them!
Block D
And as coincidence has it. BINGO-1 are also out for their match!! They are 2 and 1 and are about to face Los Salseros Americanos who are kinda surprising everyone with a 2 and 0 record so far! Unfortunately for LSA, they are against a very angry BINGO-1 team after what LRI just tried to do.
Match #4: Los Salseros Americanos vs. BINGO-1
Avocado Schwartz/Nectarine Hughes vs. D.F.Allen/Tommy BONGO
This was a stretch for LSA on any day but today just wasn't nice to them, and neither was this BINGO-1 team. They did their best to show restraint, realizing "LSA" was not "LRI" but the frustration of the entire league just built up to this and well, what are an avocado and a nectarine gonna do against two huge angry dudes whose internal sadness for losing a friend manifests into masculine, aggressive anger? (This pysch lesson brought to you by Jean Carter!) Well, not much of anything. Nectarine Hughes, whose size has fared well was taken completely off guard by the speed of D.F. Allen and the superior strength of Tommy BONGO. And Avocado's sound strategy was turned into juice mush by the superior experience of the BINGO-1 team. The only real shot they had was a Nectarine "Salsa Bomb Press" onto BONGO which was kicked out of at 2. And this ended pretty mercifully after a DF Allen flying knee knocked Avocado loopy and a BONGO BOMBAHH put away the juicy summer Nectarine. Nice effort, LSA, it just wasn't your time...even though Nectarines are in season. (maybe they aren't in Valua? Note to self - buy Valua Farmer's Almanac before we leave).
LSA (X) [BONGO BOMBAHH - 13:20] (O) BINGO-1
(Note to fans: Customs wouldn't allow me to bring any Valuan materials outside the country but I did smuggle an "Arcadia" keychain. Small victories!)
Speaking of arcades, TMG 200Y came out to the next match as GokuTAKU and Terry McCloud. But something about the costumes made the audience so bad they rioted AGAIN and TMG200Y were asked to take their costumes off by Valuan Security, and then by Drake Yoshida. Wanting to avoid a forced disqualification they complied, but they definitely seemed a bit shaken by the hostile crowd here. Maybe this crowd doesn't like the moon, it's really hard for me to tell. They did seem to like Black Venom though who were allowed to keep the bulk of their clothing on. However, Black Venom would be best to concern themselves about their record and not their wardrobe as they are at a painful 3 losses with no wins. TMG is at 2 wins and no losses so something's gonna have to give here for Black Venom to walk out feeling fulfilled. TMG is not happy with the crowd treatment but I think Black Venom is more frustrated at their past matches. Let's see who can use that frustration better then the other!!
Match #5: TMG200Y vs. Black Venom
OTAKU/Sam S. McCloud vs. Kurobara/Dokuja
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And Black Venom got a huge break when Terry McCloud completely whiffed on a huge plancha attempt! I'm telling you, the crowd really rattled him here! Making him change his attire and being boisterous!! When he was about to run, you could tell they got to him! And he messed his leg up landing like that, something that Black Venom noticed and capitalized on! He was also a half step off, allowing that final super kick and Kurobara adding the insult to injury at the end with that spinning leg lock! Black Venom finally pick up a win and TMG is none too happy! Of note is that Team Chuu Chuu was not allowed by General Celes to come here as she didn't want to expose them to any "Arcadian business" and complicate things further.
TMG200Y (X) [Superkick - 25:18] (O) Black Venom
And folks we're up to our final match now!! I know, right? Quick! Team PTFW comes out led by Martin Fairbairn and with Park Young Tae looking ready. They are 2 and 1 and are really hungry for a victory in this huge match. And now here comes ARMADA who is getting HUGE applause, deafening, from the upper deck crew!! If this is a military state, then they sure would love the profits that an armada would provide them! At least that's how Celes explained it to me afterwards, adding that "Revolution will eventually come to free the people from Empires as it always does". Wow, she's really smart!! And as much as the nobles loved ARMADA, the fans on the floor HATED them. I actually saw some people get tazed cause they tried to throw stuff at Vigoro!! Galcian just laughed and bowed to the upper crowd before getting into the ring! This is a tense situation here. It also seems the floor crowd loves Martin Fairbairn and is chanting "one of us, one of us" at him while he downs a few beers. He even threw a few at the crowd, one hitting one of the Valuan Guards!! Folks this is getting dangerous!!
Match #6: PTFW vs. ARMADA
Martin Fairbairn/Park Young Tae vs. Vigoro/Galcian
Vigoro and Martin meet in the ring first and sparks literally fly (probably from the swords in the crowd) These two are going at it with BIG MAN stuff - punches, body slams, etc! Martin gets the edge with his "PURE TECHNICAL FRIGGIN WRESTLING" by taking Vigoro down with a double leg mount and begins headbutting him! Galcian shouts out "Oh you wanna wrestle, big man?" Martin nods and allows Vigoro to get up to tag in Galcian. The crowd goes nuts in their own way as Galcian begins outwrestling Martin! Galcian is crisp as pizza crust here, showing off one of the greatest technical skillsets in UBL today. Martin seems irritated and headbutts Galcian off him, and tags in Park. Park goes to work with his martial art skills which gives Galcian a lot of trouble, before he tags in Vigoro who overpowers Park until he tags Martin back in!! Then Martin outwrestles Vigoro until Galcian is legal again and we're back to square one!! (Breathes)
Tthe crowd is building to a tizzy and a few men escape the guards to go right near the ring and yell - "YOU SET MY HOUSE ON FIRE WITH NAPALM YOU BASTARD" to Galcian which is certainly the kind of thing that would distract a man! But you don't want to be distracted against Martin Fairbairn as he grabs Galcian from behind with a HUGE reverse powerbomb! He gets the cover and Vigoro is still too distracted by the fans (getting ready to stop them from entering the ring) to stop the pin! PTFW is up 2-1 in the match!
Vigoro is incensed at this and levels Martin as he's getting up with the "Draco Cannon" (Axe Bomber). He goes for the cover but Park Young Tae breaks it up! That was Draco's best chance for victory here but Martin is certainly out of it. Vigoro goes for a powerbomb and hits it, but Park is in again! And Vigoro has a real dilemna here as there's nothing he'll be able to do. He's not a submission expert like Galcian and Martin won't tap out anyway. If he's knocked out, he'd still have to be covered for three seconds and Park is too vigilant. Vigoro is getting extremely frustrated which is causing the crowd to laugh at him. Galcian isn't out of the arena yet and gets Vigoro to come over to him. With Martin still down, no one is able to attack him. Galcian whispers to Vigoro and Vigoro tentatively nods. Galcian gives him a microphone, Vigoro gets right in the middle of the ring and says "DEATH TO ARKADIAN PEASANTS!"
OMG - the crowd, they just OMG WE HAVE A RIOT!! The crowd just passed the Valuan Guard and is in the ring, they took a shot at Vigoro!! The ref is calling for the bell to ring!! What is the ruling!! Drake Yoshida is talking to the timekeeper via headphones - No!! This wasn't PTFW's fault!! It was ARMADA who caused this! The peasants...err, crowd didn't even hurt Vigoro...well, ok, now they're hurting Vigoro after that ruling!! But Galcian is back in and the Valuan guard who are helping clear PTFW out - and omg, Martin is back up and swinging at everything and everyone! he's the angriest guy in this arena now after what just happened! Martin has cleared out the ring and is absolutely furious at what just happened! Meanwhile Galcian is backing up with a huge smile, he just engineered a coup in this match - Vigoro wasn't able to put the situation away and so Galcian schemed to make the victory happen! Bad man!!
PTFW (X) [CROWD RIOT - 25:50] (O) ARMADA
And this show is coming to a close as the nobels retreat hastily out of the arena while there's a total melee happening on the floor!! This has been Jean Carter and we're coming to you next from a place I won't need to get shots for and an interdimensional passport!! That's right, the Big Apple! Peter Venkman Memorial Arena, the UBL home arena right outside of New York City! And we are headlined by what many see as the biggest match of this Battalion, if not from a statistics point of view, certainly from an attitude one - Orochi Army takes on the Dod Squod! Folks, we'll see you next month!!
(As for lil ole me, I made it back here in one piece so don't worry about the riot!! Bye-e!)