Flip Staley: "Mission Statement"

[joe hasnt registered yet]

We open on a rainy street corner as we’ve got a rugged looking man – the kind you’d never want to encounter in a dark alleyway, the sort you’d cross the street to avoid. The kind of guy who’d nail your little sister and take pictures to brag about it over the internet. This guy, Flip Staley, is grinning from ear to ear as the camera approaches.

[Flip Staley:] You know, a lot of people are kinda jacked about this Ultimate Battle League thing. There’s chances to settle scores, even playing fields – ultimate battles of ultimate destiny n’ shit.

Me? I don’t care.

Championships. Trophies. What’s the point, man? In the end, its all just a great big addition to the junk pile. Scoring a bit of money at the pawn shop, and not much else but wrestling groupies – have you seen wrestling groupies? Fat bitches in their “Quintuple Horsebacked Riders” shirts, guh, hell with that man. Guy can get AIDS tagging that shit.

I look at the name of people on there: Thunder Strike, Bak Fu, Jason Hyde… I don’t honestly care about the glory, respect and sense of empowerment I’d get for smearing these crapstains on the heel of my boots.

I’m just here because I’m getting paid to WRECK PEOPLES SHIT. See ya in the ring, kiddos.

Flip leaves, scene faed.