Debased - October 27, 2019
Oct 28, 2019 3:17:47 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Oct 28, 2019 3:17:47 GMT -5
"Debasement" Tour – Show 5
Original Taping: October 27, 2019
Broadcast Date: October 28, 2019
Location: "Peter Venkman Memorial Arena" in Westchester, New York.
*UBBLE celebrates an early HaLAWLlloween as the fans come to the Arena with various costumes, attires, and disguises. Settle down, kids! We can’t all be masked wrestlers jumping crowd barriers! In fact, no more than six in a fiscal year are allowed! It’s in the UBL bylaws! Check your local library...preferably once you go back to wearing your regular clothes!*
Our first match tonight is for the Universal Circuit Championship!
Tetsu Gushiken has successfully defended his Title all year against everyone whom he did not get to directly compete against in the coronation tournament last year. He made good on his promise to offer them Title shots and defeated each one of them while simultaneously feuding with Kurt Sanders throughout 2019.
After Tetsu defeated Sanders in the Finals of the tournament at “Lunar Eclipse of the Heart,” Kurt stole Tetsu’s newly won Title Belt. The winner of tonight’s match between Tetsu and THRASH will go on to “ALL YOUR BASE” on December 13th to face Kurt for the Title and the belt in the hopes to unify them.
Although Tetsu defeated THRASH Ogawa in the semi-finals of the tournament, he wanted to give THRASH another chance to face him this year given how competitive their match was. THRASH has had a successful run since that tournament, defeating everyone he has faced in UBL Live competition. He then came roaring back to televised relevancy in September when he teamed with Tetsu and RYOMA to help defeat Kurt Sanders, Jasper Woodruff, and Charles Langford. THRASH had, arguably, the most impressive performance in that match. He dealt out the most punishment against '3 of a Kind,’ including burning Kurt with his ”Thrases 2 Ashes” finisher. However, it was Tetsu who picked up the actual victory, and earned some redemption, with a fisherman’s suplex on Kurt.
THRASH does not harbor any ill will toward Tetsu but has a clear purpose in competing for this Title. For his part, Tetsu has treated this Title reign as the high point of his career to this point. And he has placed this Title as the center of his identity over this past year. Although he initially struggled with his own discomfort with Sanders' tactics, Tetsu got his momentum back with a string of victories in incredible matches. This includes a 20-minute war with Thomas Mills last month. He hopes to use this momentum to defeat Kurt and finally put that feud behind him...but THRASH stands in front of him as a major obstacle first.
Tetsu relies on his offensive arsenal of kicks, knees, and leg submissions. THRASH relies on incapacitating headbutts from all angles, kicks to the face, and maneuvers that drive opponents face first to the mat. THRASH has more power behind his offense but Tetsu has the advantage in speed, technique, and conditioning. The winner of this match will be the one to to push themselves and their opponent beyond their usual limits due to the psychological and physical resiliency they each possess. The only thing for certain is that we’re in for one helluva Title fight!
*Tetsu attempts a handshake but THRASH slaps it away and the bell rings.*
Match 1: THRASH Ogawa vs. Tetsu Gushiken (c)
Universal Circuit Championship
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
(CLICK ON SPOILER BOX BELOW)
The Universal Circuit Championship (and it's stolen belt) has a new rightful owner!
THRASH Ogawa has defeated Tetsu Gushiken after ten months of dominance!
THRASH endured a leg submission attempt, two rainmaker knees, and a shining wizard from the now former Champ. A massive cut on Tetsu’s head was opened up through mounted headbutts by THRASH. It was followed up by a full nelson face plant and flying headbutt which Tetsu miraculously fought off. However, it was the debut of a new signature move by THRASH - a fierce kick to the face of a grounded Tetsu - that finished this match and won him the Championship.
THRASH Ogawa (O) [FACE KICK – 18:26] (X) Tetsu Gushiken
A woozy and crestfallen Tetsu gradually gets back on his feet under his own power. He begins to leave the ring with his head down, but THRASH taps him on the shoulder. Tetsu turns around and is shocked by the offer of a handshake from THRASH. Searching his face to see if it’s a trick, Tetsu relents and accepts the handshake. THRASH nods and slaps him lightly on the forearm with his free hand. The crowd is surprised by this act of sportsmanship, as is Tetsu who then raises THRASH’s arm in the air signaling the rightful victor. THASH quickly grows tired of this cliche display and yanks his arm back, but with a smirk that shows he isn’t angry. Tetsu bows to him and leaves the ring, allowing THRASH to celebrate. THRASH, not paying attention to the crowd, falls on his knees and raises his arms, clearly enjoying the moment. He stands up and motions around his waist for the Title Belt. In doing so, he regains that same hungry look as he did before the match.*
*A commercial for Proving Ground Championship Wrestling airs.*
The camera pans around the arena, picking up a number of "ZIP Japan" signs from fans. As if on cue, Jimmy Nails and Mickey Grinds come out to ringside! Tonight they make their long-awaited return to the UBL after previously having singles runs here in 2009. The team has had incredible success in ZIP Japan since then, winning the ZIP Japan Tag Team Championship on three occasions. They get a huge ovation from the fans and give the energy right back to them!
We suddenly hear "AVAST!" shouted on the loudspeakers as the Battletron displays the entrance video for 'Dirty Dog' Jack Flint and 'The Barge' Henry Bailey: The SwashbuckLAWLers. They have their share of fans as well. Jack and Henry have teamed together for over 10 years, winning their first and only Tag Team Championship in the IGL. Jack looks 'dirtier' than he ever has before and Henry has grown more jovial as well! It appears the seas have been filthy and friendly to this team!
Jimmy and Mickey utilize very different styles from their opponents. For one, they presumably wash! But, more importantly, both of them are more well-rounded...well, not rounder than Henry Bailey, but you get what I mean!! Jimmy lives on his opponent's leg with complete versatility whereas Mickey targets the neck of his opponent with brutal chokes and head drops. Jack isn't just the 'Dirty Dog' because he has refused to bathe for 15 years, he favors roughneck and illegal maneuvers. Henry is the big powered oaf of the team but can turn on the aggression if his best friend is being mistreated in the ring.
The Universal Battalion Championship does not have a current top contender. El Exilio, the Champions, have defeated every team in UBL that has faced them over the past year and do not have opponents for 'ALL YOUR BASE.' Drake Yoshida has clearly been reaching out to teams from outside the UBL in the hope that a new contender can be found. One would definitely think that the winner of this match would have a pretty good argument for being the next contenders.
These two teams have their own way of earning success. Let's see if the Gaijin super team can avoid walking ye ole plank to the UBL tag undercard where piranhas are the least of their problems! (A piranha just got eaten by Newfie George 😲)
Match 2: Jimmy Nails/Mickey Grinds vs. Jack Flint/Henry Bailey
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
(CLICK ON SPOILER BOX BELOW)
A huge and hard fought victory by Grinds and Nails, one that narrowly ended in defeat!
Mickey Grinds/Jimmy Nails (O) [Fisherman Suplex – 26:59] (X) Henry Bailey/Jack Flint
Henry Bailey was just one second away from flattening Mickey Grinds with a top mast splash! He accomplishes that against the fresh (water) Nails just a few seconds later after fighting off both men! However, Henry makes a crucial error in not covering him. Nails is able to recover and then stun Henry with a fisherman's suplex out of nowhere! (The Bermuda Triangle, perhaps?) That's right, the pirates just got defeated by a fisherman! Pun your heart out, ye landlubbers!
Despite Captain "Mad" Lucy Cutlass coming out to berate her shipmates, no shenanigans result, She grabs Jack by the ear and drags him backstage as Henry follows with a disappointed look on his face. Mickey Grinds and Jimmy Nails celebrate and the fans give them a standing ovation for showing the force they have grown into over the past 10 years.
*A commercial for Warrior Pro Wrestling airs.*
When we come back from commercials, Jeff Monroe is already in the ring. And while the fans are already way ahead of me in chanting: "He's a job-ber!" *clap clap clapclapclap*, the fact is that he is a no frills kind of a guy. Furthermore, he usually is accompanied by Ruby Moreno during entrances and she is nowhere to be found given who Jeff's opponent for this match is and why it is occurring. One will also note that the fans sitting closer to the ring are not engaging in this chant due to the imposing presence that Jeff has become, seemingly even more so since we last saw him. Murmurs from the crowd confirm that he looks different. Of course, the fans sitting higher up catch wind of these murmurs and start a new chant: "Test his ur-ine! *clap clap clapclapclap*. Amazingly, this is the first time in the UBL that 'urine' has been brought up through song.
However, Monroe absorbs the juvenile (but legitimate?) allegations with a stoic expression. It is not clear if he is aware that they are occurring or that an audience even exists. He stands in the ring with a laser focus on the entrance way. As admirable as it is to have such concentration on the task ahead, the fact is that a necessity exists here far beyond the normal expectations of UBL wrestlers. That is because Jeff's opponent just happens to be UBL's most dangerous, violent, depraved, and bloody wrestler of all time: Jakob of Furis. The Devil of Densus makes his official in ring return tonight for UBL.
And as "Wicked Child" plays on the speakers, the crowd shrinks back just a little bit into their seats. Jakob of Furis emerges with a wide, twisted smile on his pale face. He points to Monroe then uses his same hand to gesture cutting his throat. The fans start chanting: "Furis gonna kill you" but Monroe still yields no psychological ground. For his part, Furis appears to be paying attention to the fans more than he used to. He is reveling in their blood lust directed against Jeff Monroe. What does it mean for Jakob of Furis to be cheered by the crowd? That we're as deep in debasement as UBL has ever ventured before.
But before we revel in it, let's take a second to figure out how this match will play out by examining their abilit- nope, they're already attacking each other. No tale of the tape here, folks! Just a brutal fight between a man who thinks he's a vampire when he's off his medication and a 'genetically enhanced' cult-endorsed superman. In other words, this is a main event fit for a UBL fan who moonlights part-time as a LAWL fan! Enjoy! Oh and don't forget to stay for the post-match! 😉
Match 3: Jakob of Furis vs. Jeff Monroe
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
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(CLICK ON SPOILER BOX BELOW)
This was the war that the crowd hoped it would be! Monroe used his power to bully Furis around the ring while Jakob used his penchant for violence to stop Monroe in his tracks and cut him down to size.
Jakob of Furis (O) [Corner Chokeslam – 16:58] (X) Jeff Monroe
Although Jakob emerged the victor, Jeff Monroe almost put him away with a new rainmaker lariat finisher. But before we go out with the old and in with the new, it was Furis who applied his classic "Mare Sarboatoare" finisher three times on a bloodied Monroe. Jakob then sealed the win with a devastating choke slam from the top rope.
The crowd gasped as a pool of blood formed on the mat under Jeff's head after that choke slam. There's no doubt that medical personnel have to come out to attend to him for concussion protocol. The only question is whether they will get to him before further damage is done. And I think we're about to get the answer...
Jakob of Furis has his head between his hands and is muttering to himself. Traditionally, this is one of the classic signs that something bad is about to go down as he leans deeper into his mental break. However, before he can do anything further, Jack Monroe runs out to the ring. He looks as if he's had the same "extra vitamins" as Jeff has had since the last time. Jack is joined by John Matthews who has always been suspected of Destiny affiliation and loyalty. This certainly confirms it. What use is it to keep his affiliation a secret if he can't rise beyond the undercard when he's needed as manpower! Jack and John immediately tackle Jakob to the ground. The larger John holds Furis on the mat while Jack rains down punches.
Suddenly, Jean Carter makes abeeline catline to the ring!!
The crowd initially cheers her on but then grows eerily quiet due to their concern for her safety in this scenario. Jack and John let up, not knowing what to do. Jean covers Furis, trying to protect him from any further damage. This brings out an absolutely livid Ruby Moreno who storms to the ring. However, she isn't as angry at Jean as she is at Jack and John for letting up their attack! She gets into the ring and tries to sic them on Furis but Jean keeps getting in their way. Jack and John are perhaps having an inconvenient attack of the conscience which is like the worst spirit damage that one can suffer!
Ruby pushes them both aside and gets in Jean's face, screaming for her to leave and to get out of her business. She motions Jack and John to go back to holding Furis down. Jean attempts to break their grasp, pleading for their mercy. Furis is regaining awareness and is shocked at this behavior, never having seen anyone sacrifice themselves for him.
Ruby pulls Jean back to her so she has her attention. Jean begs for Ruby to let Furis go. She keeps blocking Ruby's path but doesn't lay a hand on Ruby. Ruby finally loses her patience as she sees Furis regaining his strength and her own opportunity to finish him off rapidly fading with Jean's involvement. She screams out - "I should have done this a long time ago." Then she thumbs Jean in the eye and sends the most blistering chop she has ever thrown at the throat of Jean Carter.
The crowd is left silent by the echo'ing sound of the chop and the excruciating pain that Jean has just endured. She rolls on the mat trying to catch her breath and ease the pain. Ruby looks pleased but quickly turns her attention back to Furis.
But it wasn't Furis who needed the attention. Because at that moment, on this day, the sky fell on Destiny.
Suddenly, the ninja known as Mr. Clyde jumps down from the lighting rig high above the ring. He drops in back of Ruby into the ring with a perfect landing on his intricate boots and into a martial pose. She jumps back, seemingly in greater shock and fear of this sudden arrival than of the presence of Furis. Her concern is warranted as Clyde immediately knocks out John and Jack by roundhouse kicking them each in the face. Ruby backs up into a corner while Clyde checks on Jean.
He pulls a small vial of liquid out of his outfit and administers it to her. Within seconds, Jean regains her ability to breathe and starts to feel better. He helps her up and she helps herself to a spirited hug of Clyde which the fans applaud.
With Ruby's men incapacitated and her frozen in fear, she is defenseless against Jakob. However, before he can advance, Jean places her hand on his shoulder and whispers something to him. He looks at Ruby and hesitates, then again at Jean and nods his head. Seconds later, the ring is stormed by Luke Kisiera, Kyle Walker, and Robin Walker. Geese Walker follows but doesn't so much 'storm' the ring as meander over while browsing his cell phone. Furis flees through the crowd when he sees them approaching but they do not give chase. Geese doesn't even glance up while Furis, a man who once put his girlfriend in a coma, runs nearby him. Furis nods again at Jean, seemingly thanking her. She nods and smiles back.
Despite not having her blood drained, Moreno looks pale and remains both defenseless and cornered. Kyle stays outside the ring to make sure no one else joins the fray. Geese stands in his own corner of the ring as he is in his own world. Luke Kisiera attends to Jean, thanking Clyde. And Robin grabs a microphone and gets into the ring, standing across from Ruby.
[Robin:] "Furis, Kyle, Geese, and Clyde. Any one of them alone could paint the ring with your blood. Yet I don't see any sign of relief on your face that you've been allowed to continue to stand here breathing. And that's for good reason. You instinctively know what I'm about to say to you now is worse than your career being violently ended. So a little piece of advice. Pay very close attention or your predicament will get far worse. As Geese once said to an audience of doubters, your world has changed and you were the last to know. If you don't act in accordance with your new reality, you will perish.
But that's Geese. And I love him but I gotta do this my way. So, let's reminisce, Rubes! March 18th was the last time I had to smell you, face to face. It's been a while so consider this your progress report. We're still set to dance on December 13th but let's review the stakes and conditions of our fight. You're paler with fear than Furis now so let me job your memory.
The stakes: I win, you enema yourself out of the lives of my family, my friends, your sister, and everyone in the UBL. You win? I turn myself into the police cause of Dizzy then renounce my legacy in this business. Sound about right?"
*A concerned but angry Ruby slowly nods yes.*
[Robin:] "And the condition? We do this in OG-Joshi."
*Ruby nods again. Robin nurses a pregnant pause then leans into Ruby with a wry smile.*
[Robin:] "Which you used to own up until about five minutes ago."
*The crowd lets out an 'oooh' as Ruby looks confused.*
[Robin:] "Hey Geese, waddle over here and bring the K-note."
*Geese opens the vest of his suit jacket and takes out a piece of paper. He walks over to Robin and places it in her hand then goes back to...sigh...looking at stock numbers on his cell phone.*
[Robin:] "Thanks Geese. Recognize this, Rubes?"
*She passes it to Ruby who nods and passes it back.*
[Robin:] "Yah, you should. It's the contract for the sale of OG-Joshi from Geese to you in December of 2011. You always came across as a pseudo-intellectual so tonight confirms that you just ain't too big on that whole readin' thing.
Terms written in small print still count. And you either forgot about, or completely ignored, a crucial part. See, this contract has a mandatory sell-back clause under the right circumstances. And honey, you just triggered it."
*The BattleTron lights up with probably the least interesting graphic it has ever shown: a contractual provision.*
[Robin:] "Let's magnify that fine print and show it to this fine jury of our peers."
*Robin points to the crowd then reads the provision out loud*
[Robin:] "In the event that you ever attack Jean Carter, Geese has the option to immediately buy back OG-Joshi."
*Ruby looks incredulous and angrier than we have seen her in her entire fifteen year career.*
[Robin:] "Now, I know what you may be thinking: Geese isn't exactly of sound mind right now to buy back much of anything, let alone a wrestling promotion. And thank you for that, by the way!"
*Robin flips Ruby the bird*.
[Robin:] But I wouldn't worry about his legal capacity now since he was smart back then. Even though I was in a coma during that time, Geese put another provision in the contract that granted me the right to buy OG-Joshi back in his name. He had a feeling that if you were gonna attack Jean at all, you'd probably come for him first. So I was his insurance policy.
And insuring our victory is exactly what I'm doing now. As we speak, our old Orochi-O's lawyers are calling yours. Your legal title is already in flux. OG-Joshi will be mine by the end of next week and there is nothing you can do about it.
Sorry Rubes, you got played. You got played hard. It looks like this Halloween is more trick than treat."
*The crowd applauds as Robin is at her most "Holly" in her tone and mannerisms. Ruby is silent.*
[Robin:] "Good, I'm glad you are still listening cause I'm far from done. And I hope you are relishing every moment of this. How could you possibly enjoy what I am saying? Well, Rubes, you always talk about the 'Guiding Light' of knowledge and I'm blasting a million watts in your face right now. Cause if you think Geese and I let our guard down when we returned to the public eye, hit the snooze button cause the wake-up alarm just sounded. And now you finally get to see who was manipulating who from the start. We were playing chess while you were playing, no, not checkers. More like peek-a-boo."
*Robin starts pantomiming peek-a-boo with Ruby as if she's a baby.*
[Robin:] "The thing is, just as I have the power to buy OG-Joshi back for Geese, I also have the power to sell it."
*A hint of emotion finally turns to Ruby's face and it is confusion.*
[Robin:] "And Rubes, I'm not buying OG-Joshi back to get an unfair advantage against you in our match. I don't need one and any hint of it would just tarnish my victory over you. I'm also not buying OG-Joshi back just to spit in your face. That's what an insecure, passive aggressive bitch like you would do. I'm doing it because you have no business running it."
*Robin points to Jean Carter*
[Robin:] "Only she does. The true heart and soul of OG-Joshi, the once and future Coach - Jean Carter."
*The crowd is on their feet cheering for Jean who has broken down in tears.*
[Robin:] "Yeah, that's my early surprise Christmas present to you, Jean. As if you haven't proven it already ten years ago, you did it again tonight. Literally putting your neck on the line to get OG-Joshi out of Ruby's hands proves it belongs in yours. So once OG-Joshi is legally mine again, I'll make it yours within twenty-four hours. Just promise me one thing."
*Through tears of happiness, Jean nods and says "anything"*
[Robin:] "You let Ruby and I wrestle without any influence or favoritism. Neutral ref, no interference, nothing."
*Jean gives a thumbs up and happily hugs Luke.*
[Robin:] "Of course, neutrality takes away Ruby's advantage. And that's only fair. No longer will I have to worry about being in a Gauntlet-equipped arena with my life in danger. Instead, I have a feeling where Jean will set up shop. OG-Joshi used to run in this same building, now owned by Luke Kisiera. So I think our match on December 13th will be the first one here for Jean Carter's OG-Joshi. After Rivers loses Destiny's claim to the NEXUS Title, I'll be sending all of you packing for good.
How 'bout we call the show 'ALL YOUR BASE' plus Ruby's disgrace?'"
*Ruby can't take any more and begins to leave.*
[Robin:] "Nope! I don't believe I gave you permission to go, Rubes. I have one final thing to say to you."
*Ruby stops in place and Robin walks right up to her until they are nose to nose.*
[Robin:] "Sucker."
*Robin reaches into her pants and pulls out a Halloween themed orange lollipop which she gives to Ruby. The crowd starts laughing at this which finally sends Ruby fleeing from the ring in utter humiliation. Kyle looks like he's gonna stop Ruby but Robin gestures him to let her go and get into the ring instead. Geese walks over first.*
[Geese:] "I can see why you wanted me present for your portfolio presentation. That was quite the acquisition! The Asian markets are already all over this. Can you believe the OG-Joshi stock price just spiked higher than it has ever been!"
*Stock ticker tape falls from the top of the arena, delighting and confusing everyone!*
[Geese:] "I have to go back and make a few calls but congratulations to Miss Carter!"
*Geese runs backstage alternating screaming 'buy' and 'sell' while pulling out a second cell phone and talking on it as well. Robin frowns but her spirits are quickly lifted again by a huge embrace from Jean. Then Jean hugs Luke. Robin tries to find Mr. Clyde but he seems to have made his exit during the ticker tape falling. However, Kyle gives her a hug as well.*
The show ends with Luke raising Jean's hand and the crowd going wild at the scene they just witnessed!
We will see you on December 13 for “ALL YOUR BASE” – the final stop of the Debased Tour!
Original Taping: October 27, 2019
Broadcast Date: October 28, 2019
Location: "Peter Venkman Memorial Arena" in Westchester, New York.
*UBBLE celebrates an early Ha
Our first match tonight is for the Universal Circuit Championship!
Tetsu Gushiken has successfully defended his Title all year against everyone whom he did not get to directly compete against in the coronation tournament last year. He made good on his promise to offer them Title shots and defeated each one of them while simultaneously feuding with Kurt Sanders throughout 2019.
After Tetsu defeated Sanders in the Finals of the tournament at “Lunar Eclipse of the Heart,” Kurt stole Tetsu’s newly won Title Belt. The winner of tonight’s match between Tetsu and THRASH will go on to “ALL YOUR BASE” on December 13th to face Kurt for the Title and the belt in the hopes to unify them.
Although Tetsu defeated THRASH Ogawa in the semi-finals of the tournament, he wanted to give THRASH another chance to face him this year given how competitive their match was. THRASH has had a successful run since that tournament, defeating everyone he has faced in UBL Live competition. He then came roaring back to televised relevancy in September when he teamed with Tetsu and RYOMA to help defeat Kurt Sanders, Jasper Woodruff, and Charles Langford. THRASH had, arguably, the most impressive performance in that match. He dealt out the most punishment against '3 of a Kind,’ including burning Kurt with his ”Thrases 2 Ashes” finisher. However, it was Tetsu who picked up the actual victory, and earned some redemption, with a fisherman’s suplex on Kurt.
THRASH does not harbor any ill will toward Tetsu but has a clear purpose in competing for this Title. For his part, Tetsu has treated this Title reign as the high point of his career to this point. And he has placed this Title as the center of his identity over this past year. Although he initially struggled with his own discomfort with Sanders' tactics, Tetsu got his momentum back with a string of victories in incredible matches. This includes a 20-minute war with Thomas Mills last month. He hopes to use this momentum to defeat Kurt and finally put that feud behind him...but THRASH stands in front of him as a major obstacle first.
Tetsu relies on his offensive arsenal of kicks, knees, and leg submissions. THRASH relies on incapacitating headbutts from all angles, kicks to the face, and maneuvers that drive opponents face first to the mat. THRASH has more power behind his offense but Tetsu has the advantage in speed, technique, and conditioning. The winner of this match will be the one to to push themselves and their opponent beyond their usual limits due to the psychological and physical resiliency they each possess. The only thing for certain is that we’re in for one helluva Title fight!
*Tetsu attempts a handshake but THRASH slaps it away and the bell rings.*
Match 1: THRASH Ogawa vs. Tetsu Gushiken (c)
Universal Circuit Championship
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
(CLICK ON SPOILER BOX BELOW)
The Universal Circuit Championship (and it's stolen belt) has a new rightful owner!
THRASH Ogawa has defeated Tetsu Gushiken after ten months of dominance!
THRASH endured a leg submission attempt, two rainmaker knees, and a shining wizard from the now former Champ. A massive cut on Tetsu’s head was opened up through mounted headbutts by THRASH. It was followed up by a full nelson face plant and flying headbutt which Tetsu miraculously fought off. However, it was the debut of a new signature move by THRASH - a fierce kick to the face of a grounded Tetsu - that finished this match and won him the Championship.
THRASH Ogawa (O) [FACE KICK – 18:26] (X) Tetsu Gushiken
A woozy and crestfallen Tetsu gradually gets back on his feet under his own power. He begins to leave the ring with his head down, but THRASH taps him on the shoulder. Tetsu turns around and is shocked by the offer of a handshake from THRASH. Searching his face to see if it’s a trick, Tetsu relents and accepts the handshake. THRASH nods and slaps him lightly on the forearm with his free hand. The crowd is surprised by this act of sportsmanship, as is Tetsu who then raises THRASH’s arm in the air signaling the rightful victor. THASH quickly grows tired of this cliche display and yanks his arm back, but with a smirk that shows he isn’t angry. Tetsu bows to him and leaves the ring, allowing THRASH to celebrate. THRASH, not paying attention to the crowd, falls on his knees and raises his arms, clearly enjoying the moment. He stands up and motions around his waist for the Title Belt. In doing so, he regains that same hungry look as he did before the match.*
*A commercial for Proving Ground Championship Wrestling airs.*
The camera pans around the arena, picking up a number of "ZIP Japan" signs from fans. As if on cue, Jimmy Nails and Mickey Grinds come out to ringside! Tonight they make their long-awaited return to the UBL after previously having singles runs here in 2009. The team has had incredible success in ZIP Japan since then, winning the ZIP Japan Tag Team Championship on three occasions. They get a huge ovation from the fans and give the energy right back to them!
We suddenly hear "AVAST!" shouted on the loudspeakers as the Battletron displays the entrance video for 'Dirty Dog' Jack Flint and 'The Barge' Henry Bailey: The SwashbuckLAWLers. They have their share of fans as well. Jack and Henry have teamed together for over 10 years, winning their first and only Tag Team Championship in the IGL. Jack looks 'dirtier' than he ever has before and Henry has grown more jovial as well! It appears the seas have been filthy and friendly to this team!
Jimmy and Mickey utilize very different styles from their opponents. For one, they presumably wash! But, more importantly, both of them are more well-rounded...well, not rounder than Henry Bailey, but you get what I mean!! Jimmy lives on his opponent's leg with complete versatility whereas Mickey targets the neck of his opponent with brutal chokes and head drops. Jack isn't just the 'Dirty Dog' because he has refused to bathe for 15 years, he favors roughneck and illegal maneuvers. Henry is the big powered oaf of the team but can turn on the aggression if his best friend is being mistreated in the ring.
The Universal Battalion Championship does not have a current top contender. El Exilio, the Champions, have defeated every team in UBL that has faced them over the past year and do not have opponents for 'ALL YOUR BASE.' Drake Yoshida has clearly been reaching out to teams from outside the UBL in the hope that a new contender can be found. One would definitely think that the winner of this match would have a pretty good argument for being the next contenders.
These two teams have their own way of earning success. Let's see if the Gaijin super team can avoid walking ye ole plank to the UBL tag undercard where piranhas are the least of their problems! (A piranha just got eaten by Newfie George 😲)
Match 2: Jimmy Nails/Mickey Grinds vs. Jack Flint/Henry Bailey
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
(CLICK ON SPOILER BOX BELOW)
A huge and hard fought victory by Grinds and Nails, one that narrowly ended in defeat!
Mickey Grinds/Jimmy Nails (O) [Fisherman Suplex – 26:59] (X) Henry Bailey/Jack Flint
Henry Bailey was just one second away from flattening Mickey Grinds with a top mast splash! He accomplishes that against the fresh (water) Nails just a few seconds later after fighting off both men! However, Henry makes a crucial error in not covering him. Nails is able to recover and then stun Henry with a fisherman's suplex out of nowhere! (The Bermuda Triangle, perhaps?) That's right, the pirates just got defeated by a fisherman! Pun your heart out, ye landlubbers!
Despite Captain "Mad" Lucy Cutlass coming out to berate her shipmates, no shenanigans result, She grabs Jack by the ear and drags him backstage as Henry follows with a disappointed look on his face. Mickey Grinds and Jimmy Nails celebrate and the fans give them a standing ovation for showing the force they have grown into over the past 10 years.
*A commercial for Warrior Pro Wrestling airs.*
When we come back from commercials, Jeff Monroe is already in the ring. And while the fans are already way ahead of me in chanting: "He's a job-ber!" *clap clap clapclapclap*, the fact is that he is a no frills kind of a guy. Furthermore, he usually is accompanied by Ruby Moreno during entrances and she is nowhere to be found given who Jeff's opponent for this match is and why it is occurring. One will also note that the fans sitting closer to the ring are not engaging in this chant due to the imposing presence that Jeff has become, seemingly even more so since we last saw him. Murmurs from the crowd confirm that he looks different. Of course, the fans sitting higher up catch wind of these murmurs and start a new chant: "Test his ur-ine! *clap clap clapclapclap*. Amazingly, this is the first time in the UBL that 'urine' has been brought up through song.
However, Monroe absorbs the juvenile (but legitimate?) allegations with a stoic expression. It is not clear if he is aware that they are occurring or that an audience even exists. He stands in the ring with a laser focus on the entrance way. As admirable as it is to have such concentration on the task ahead, the fact is that a necessity exists here far beyond the normal expectations of UBL wrestlers. That is because Jeff's opponent just happens to be UBL's most dangerous, violent, depraved, and bloody wrestler of all time: Jakob of Furis. The Devil of Densus makes his official in ring return tonight for UBL.
And as "Wicked Child" plays on the speakers, the crowd shrinks back just a little bit into their seats. Jakob of Furis emerges with a wide, twisted smile on his pale face. He points to Monroe then uses his same hand to gesture cutting his throat. The fans start chanting: "Furis gonna kill you" but Monroe still yields no psychological ground. For his part, Furis appears to be paying attention to the fans more than he used to. He is reveling in their blood lust directed against Jeff Monroe. What does it mean for Jakob of Furis to be cheered by the crowd? That we're as deep in debasement as UBL has ever ventured before.
But before we revel in it, let's take a second to figure out how this match will play out by examining their abilit- nope, they're already attacking each other. No tale of the tape here, folks! Just a brutal fight between a man who thinks he's a vampire when he's off his medication and a 'genetically enhanced' cult-endorsed superman. In other words, this is a main event fit for a UBL fan who moonlights part-time as a LAWL fan! Enjoy! Oh and don't forget to stay for the post-match! 😉
Match 3: Jakob of Furis vs. Jeff Monroe
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
(CLICK ON SPOILER BOX BELOW)
This was the war that the crowd hoped it would be! Monroe used his power to bully Furis around the ring while Jakob used his penchant for violence to stop Monroe in his tracks and cut him down to size.
Jakob of Furis (O) [Corner Chokeslam – 16:58] (X) Jeff Monroe
Although Jakob emerged the victor, Jeff Monroe almost put him away with a new rainmaker lariat finisher. But before we go out with the old and in with the new, it was Furis who applied his classic "Mare Sarboatoare" finisher three times on a bloodied Monroe. Jakob then sealed the win with a devastating choke slam from the top rope.
The crowd gasped as a pool of blood formed on the mat under Jeff's head after that choke slam. There's no doubt that medical personnel have to come out to attend to him for concussion protocol. The only question is whether they will get to him before further damage is done. And I think we're about to get the answer...
Jakob of Furis has his head between his hands and is muttering to himself. Traditionally, this is one of the classic signs that something bad is about to go down as he leans deeper into his mental break. However, before he can do anything further, Jack Monroe runs out to the ring. He looks as if he's had the same "extra vitamins" as Jeff has had since the last time. Jack is joined by John Matthews who has always been suspected of Destiny affiliation and loyalty. This certainly confirms it. What use is it to keep his affiliation a secret if he can't rise beyond the undercard when he's needed as manpower! Jack and John immediately tackle Jakob to the ground. The larger John holds Furis on the mat while Jack rains down punches.
Suddenly, Jean Carter makes a
The crowd initially cheers her on but then grows eerily quiet due to their concern for her safety in this scenario. Jack and John let up, not knowing what to do. Jean covers Furis, trying to protect him from any further damage. This brings out an absolutely livid Ruby Moreno who storms to the ring. However, she isn't as angry at Jean as she is at Jack and John for letting up their attack! She gets into the ring and tries to sic them on Furis but Jean keeps getting in their way. Jack and John are perhaps having an inconvenient attack of the conscience which is like the worst spirit damage that one can suffer!
Ruby pushes them both aside and gets in Jean's face, screaming for her to leave and to get out of her business. She motions Jack and John to go back to holding Furis down. Jean attempts to break their grasp, pleading for their mercy. Furis is regaining awareness and is shocked at this behavior, never having seen anyone sacrifice themselves for him.
Ruby pulls Jean back to her so she has her attention. Jean begs for Ruby to let Furis go. She keeps blocking Ruby's path but doesn't lay a hand on Ruby. Ruby finally loses her patience as she sees Furis regaining his strength and her own opportunity to finish him off rapidly fading with Jean's involvement. She screams out - "I should have done this a long time ago." Then she thumbs Jean in the eye and sends the most blistering chop she has ever thrown at the throat of Jean Carter.
The crowd is left silent by the echo'ing sound of the chop and the excruciating pain that Jean has just endured. She rolls on the mat trying to catch her breath and ease the pain. Ruby looks pleased but quickly turns her attention back to Furis.
But it wasn't Furis who needed the attention. Because at that moment, on this day, the sky fell on Destiny.
Suddenly, the ninja known as Mr. Clyde jumps down from the lighting rig high above the ring. He drops in back of Ruby into the ring with a perfect landing on his intricate boots and into a martial pose. She jumps back, seemingly in greater shock and fear of this sudden arrival than of the presence of Furis. Her concern is warranted as Clyde immediately knocks out John and Jack by roundhouse kicking them each in the face. Ruby backs up into a corner while Clyde checks on Jean.
He pulls a small vial of liquid out of his outfit and administers it to her. Within seconds, Jean regains her ability to breathe and starts to feel better. He helps her up and she helps herself to a spirited hug of Clyde which the fans applaud.
With Ruby's men incapacitated and her frozen in fear, she is defenseless against Jakob. However, before he can advance, Jean places her hand on his shoulder and whispers something to him. He looks at Ruby and hesitates, then again at Jean and nods his head. Seconds later, the ring is stormed by Luke Kisiera, Kyle Walker, and Robin Walker. Geese Walker follows but doesn't so much 'storm' the ring as meander over while browsing his cell phone. Furis flees through the crowd when he sees them approaching but they do not give chase. Geese doesn't even glance up while Furis, a man who once put his girlfriend in a coma, runs nearby him. Furis nods again at Jean, seemingly thanking her. She nods and smiles back.
Despite not having her blood drained, Moreno looks pale and remains both defenseless and cornered. Kyle stays outside the ring to make sure no one else joins the fray. Geese stands in his own corner of the ring as he is in his own world. Luke Kisiera attends to Jean, thanking Clyde. And Robin grabs a microphone and gets into the ring, standing across from Ruby.
[Robin:] "Furis, Kyle, Geese, and Clyde. Any one of them alone could paint the ring with your blood. Yet I don't see any sign of relief on your face that you've been allowed to continue to stand here breathing. And that's for good reason. You instinctively know what I'm about to say to you now is worse than your career being violently ended. So a little piece of advice. Pay very close attention or your predicament will get far worse. As Geese once said to an audience of doubters, your world has changed and you were the last to know. If you don't act in accordance with your new reality, you will perish.
But that's Geese. And I love him but I gotta do this my way. So, let's reminisce, Rubes! March 18th was the last time I had to smell you, face to face. It's been a while so consider this your progress report. We're still set to dance on December 13th but let's review the stakes and conditions of our fight. You're paler with fear than Furis now so let me job your memory.
The stakes: I win, you enema yourself out of the lives of my family, my friends, your sister, and everyone in the UBL. You win? I turn myself into the police cause of Dizzy then renounce my legacy in this business. Sound about right?"
*A concerned but angry Ruby slowly nods yes.*
[Robin:] "And the condition? We do this in OG-Joshi."
*Ruby nods again. Robin nurses a pregnant pause then leans into Ruby with a wry smile.*
[Robin:] "Which you used to own up until about five minutes ago."
*The crowd lets out an 'oooh' as Ruby looks confused.*
[Robin:] "Hey Geese, waddle over here and bring the K-note."
*Geese opens the vest of his suit jacket and takes out a piece of paper. He walks over to Robin and places it in her hand then goes back to...sigh...looking at stock numbers on his cell phone.*
[Robin:] "Thanks Geese. Recognize this, Rubes?"
*She passes it to Ruby who nods and passes it back.*
[Robin:] "Yah, you should. It's the contract for the sale of OG-Joshi from Geese to you in December of 2011. You always came across as a pseudo-intellectual so tonight confirms that you just ain't too big on that whole readin' thing.
Terms written in small print still count. And you either forgot about, or completely ignored, a crucial part. See, this contract has a mandatory sell-back clause under the right circumstances. And honey, you just triggered it."
*The BattleTron lights up with probably the least interesting graphic it has ever shown: a contractual provision.*
[Robin:] "Let's magnify that fine print and show it to this fine jury of our peers."
*Robin points to the crowd then reads the provision out loud*
[Robin:] "In the event that you ever attack Jean Carter, Geese has the option to immediately buy back OG-Joshi."
*Ruby looks incredulous and angrier than we have seen her in her entire fifteen year career.*
[Robin:] "Now, I know what you may be thinking: Geese isn't exactly of sound mind right now to buy back much of anything, let alone a wrestling promotion. And thank you for that, by the way!"
*Robin flips Ruby the bird*.
[Robin:] But I wouldn't worry about his legal capacity now since he was smart back then. Even though I was in a coma during that time, Geese put another provision in the contract that granted me the right to buy OG-Joshi back in his name. He had a feeling that if you were gonna attack Jean at all, you'd probably come for him first. So I was his insurance policy.
And insuring our victory is exactly what I'm doing now. As we speak, our old Orochi-O's lawyers are calling yours. Your legal title is already in flux. OG-Joshi will be mine by the end of next week and there is nothing you can do about it.
Sorry Rubes, you got played. You got played hard. It looks like this Halloween is more trick than treat."
*The crowd applauds as Robin is at her most "Holly" in her tone and mannerisms. Ruby is silent.*
[Robin:] "Good, I'm glad you are still listening cause I'm far from done. And I hope you are relishing every moment of this. How could you possibly enjoy what I am saying? Well, Rubes, you always talk about the 'Guiding Light' of knowledge and I'm blasting a million watts in your face right now. Cause if you think Geese and I let our guard down when we returned to the public eye, hit the snooze button cause the wake-up alarm just sounded. And now you finally get to see who was manipulating who from the start. We were playing chess while you were playing, no, not checkers. More like peek-a-boo."
*Robin starts pantomiming peek-a-boo with Ruby as if she's a baby.*
[Robin:] "The thing is, just as I have the power to buy OG-Joshi back for Geese, I also have the power to sell it."
*A hint of emotion finally turns to Ruby's face and it is confusion.*
[Robin:] "And Rubes, I'm not buying OG-Joshi back to get an unfair advantage against you in our match. I don't need one and any hint of it would just tarnish my victory over you. I'm also not buying OG-Joshi back just to spit in your face. That's what an insecure, passive aggressive bitch like you would do. I'm doing it because you have no business running it."
*Robin points to Jean Carter*
[Robin:] "Only she does. The true heart and soul of OG-Joshi, the once and future Coach - Jean Carter."
*The crowd is on their feet cheering for Jean who has broken down in tears.*
[Robin:] "Yeah, that's my early surprise Christmas present to you, Jean. As if you haven't proven it already ten years ago, you did it again tonight. Literally putting your neck on the line to get OG-Joshi out of Ruby's hands proves it belongs in yours. So once OG-Joshi is legally mine again, I'll make it yours within twenty-four hours. Just promise me one thing."
*Through tears of happiness, Jean nods and says "anything"*
[Robin:] "You let Ruby and I wrestle without any influence or favoritism. Neutral ref, no interference, nothing."
*Jean gives a thumbs up and happily hugs Luke.*
[Robin:] "Of course, neutrality takes away Ruby's advantage. And that's only fair. No longer will I have to worry about being in a Gauntlet-equipped arena with my life in danger. Instead, I have a feeling where Jean will set up shop. OG-Joshi used to run in this same building, now owned by Luke Kisiera. So I think our match on December 13th will be the first one here for Jean Carter's OG-Joshi. After Rivers loses Destiny's claim to the NEXUS Title, I'll be sending all of you packing for good.
How 'bout we call the show 'ALL YOUR BASE' plus Ruby's disgrace?'"
*Ruby can't take any more and begins to leave.*
[Robin:] "Nope! I don't believe I gave you permission to go, Rubes. I have one final thing to say to you."
*Ruby stops in place and Robin walks right up to her until they are nose to nose.*
[Robin:] "Sucker."
*Robin reaches into her pants and pulls out a Halloween themed orange lollipop which she gives to Ruby. The crowd starts laughing at this which finally sends Ruby fleeing from the ring in utter humiliation. Kyle looks like he's gonna stop Ruby but Robin gestures him to let her go and get into the ring instead. Geese walks over first.*
[Geese:] "I can see why you wanted me present for your portfolio presentation. That was quite the acquisition! The Asian markets are already all over this. Can you believe the OG-Joshi stock price just spiked higher than it has ever been!"
*Stock ticker tape falls from the top of the arena, delighting and confusing everyone!*
[Geese:] "I have to go back and make a few calls but congratulations to Miss Carter!"
*Geese runs backstage alternating screaming 'buy' and 'sell' while pulling out a second cell phone and talking on it as well. Robin frowns but her spirits are quickly lifted again by a huge embrace from Jean. Then Jean hugs Luke. Robin tries to find Mr. Clyde but he seems to have made his exit during the ticker tape falling. However, Kyle gives her a hug as well.*
The show ends with Luke raising Jean's hand and the crowd going wild at the scene they just witnessed!
We will see you on December 13 for “ALL YOUR BASE” – the final stop of the Debased Tour!