Threshold
Jul 5, 2018 23:58:10 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Jul 5, 2018 23:58:10 GMT -5
*The scene opens to an empty gym on the morning of July 5th, 2018.
Geese Walker is lying on a yoga mat and breathing heavily. His neck, ribs, and shoulders are taped. He slowly raises his head and upper body to attempt a sit-up but then winces from pain. However, rather than lie back down, he holds his position until finally giving up from exhaustion. After a few seconds, he rolls over to his stomach, sits up, and grabs a nearby water bottle. After drinking about half the bottle, he sets it down and then looks at the camera.*
[Geese:] "Three possibilities loomed over me this morning as I made the decision to go to the gym. Since I wrestled RYOMA just three nights ago, my body clearly remained in a damaged state. The victory was mine but the lion's share of the spoils went toward paying the medical staff who attended to both of us for the past two days."
*Geese smirks*
[Geese:] "So I asked myself whether I could handle a workout. Then I asked myself whether I could afford not to do so. After all, even some light exercise could do wonders for my body and prevent it from building up lactic acid which would make me feel even tighter. As it is, thanks to RYOMA's lariats and powerbombs, I can barely turn my neck to the side.
However, just as I knew the benefits from the proper amount of exercise, I also knew the risks of pushing myself beyond it. I could turn my temporary pain into an actual injury if my body, mind, or spirit wasn't up to the task. That would certainly be worse than missing just one day of exercise. On initial observation, the costs seem to outweigh the benefits. But what if there was some way to avoid either extreme? To work right up until that threshold of risk but no further? After all, being here has benefits but only if I'm willing to work beyond the comfortable and into the area of risk. If I just lie on the floor all day, I won't gain any of the value of exercise nor would I take on the risk of injury. Should I shy away from that worst case scenario, and derive no gain, if I actually have confidence that I can avoid crossing that blurry line of risk?"
*Geese smiles without a sarcastic expression. Then a look of purpose appears.*
[Geese:] "What if I said that I've devoted the past six years of my life trying to find my thresholds in exactly these situations? What if I told you I've been mastering the ability to operate right up to but without crossing that crucial line? Would that pursuit be seen as brave or reckless? Are these words the testimonials of a wise man or the ramblings of a fool?
If we're finding thresholds, maybe even that statement has one.
But for me, the truth doesn't always lie in the middle. It lies precisely where one is most uncomfortable facing their fears.
RYOMA, Kazuo Saji, JET Hamada, Matt Rivers - you are all guilty of backing down from those fears. You continue to shy away from finding your true threshold and, therefore, continue to fall shy of reaching your highest potential.
I am fully aware that the answer to the next question is 'Orochi Geese' but what are you all so afraid of turning into? Yes, it is me...the 'me' years ago that yelled chaos and executed it in the most horrific of ways. But that 'me' didn't form at a snails pace over the years, nor was it an issue of 'slippery slope' either. Rather, he was born over night in 2005 when I was attacked in PW-W by Spunk. The me that returned from that attack never worried about nuance or lines, just revenge.
I don't see that look in any of your eyes and I never have. Anyone with honor in their hearts has no legitimate concerns of turning into me in just one match by being more aggressive to seek the victory and by being disgusted with the idea of a loss. The 'worst case scenario' is not remotely likely for those who aren't already seeking it and yet so many of you secretly harbor it as the reason for how you fail to act. After all, what other excuse do you have for continuing the charade that the paramount goal in professional wrestling is getting the fans to chant for your opponent shaking your hand?
JET Hamada was humiliated at Base 11 and swore with pride to even the score with Tetsu. So why did he swallow that fire and shake Tetsu's hand immediately after losing to him again at Matsuki Mobile? He looked more scared at the duration of time that went by without congratulating Tetsu than he did at having to face himself in the mirror later that night. I don't envy what he saw when that finally occurred. Thunder Strike was correct to call out his frustration a few weeks ago. That is the side effect of someone who suppresses their goals because they are afraid of what they have to do to earn them. But what they fear most is the threshold between what they can do and what they shouldn't do, so they don't push the former.
Kazuo Saji almost lost his Aftermath Championship last week due to Blaze causing outside interference. So why didn't Saji come at Blaze at Matsuki Mobile with all the rage a man should have in that situation? Why didn't he send a stronger message to Samael before their Title match this month? Why hasn't Saji finally confronted Yoshirozuna about injuring him for half a year in 2015? Because he is afraid, not of Yoshirozuna, but of his own worst instincts. The most frustrating part is that I warned Saji about this concept two years ago, only to see no change in his current behavior. Yes, he won a Championship but he doesn't have the will to truly defend it because he refuses to find that threshold. Samael will crush him because Saji is afraid of the monster he could possibly turn into in order to defeat monsters. But he doesn't have to go beyond that threshold, nor did he do so in knocking out Matthias two years ago when he tried to attack both of us.
As for my storied opponent - RYOMA lost at Matsuki Mobile because he lacked the will to do all he needed to win. I saw his expression every time he landed one of his nearly invincible weapons. He winced. He was concerned about what an injury to me would do to his reputation and, most of all, his conscience. But as Thunder said to JET about Barton, injuries are endemic to professional wrestling even if they are not intentionally inflicted. I didn't try to hurt RYOMA, but I would have understood if such a result occurred due to the moves that I used and the intensity in which I continued to deliver them. Every man signs a contract of assumed risk when walking into a combat ring and his opponent is bound to acknowledge that. One can not be reasonably asked to assume the risk of their opponent when also trying to achieve victory. But RYOMA, rather than grapple with these difficult questions, instead reduced everything to modern views of sportsmanship. He seemed most concerned that an injury to me would mean the crowd wouldn't clap for our post match handshake.
This sickens me. On it's face it's obscene, but the mentality that lurks below it is far more toxic."
*A look of utter disgust flashes on Geese's face.*
[Geese:] "Orochi Geese is no longer your biggest enemy. Your biggest enemy is now you. Their finisher is casting doubt on your confidence in finding your threshold. Meanwhile, I'm the one your mind is using to rationalize its own cowardice. To avoid turning into me, you have paralyzed your own development as wrestlers, competitors, warriors, and people.
The third scariest thing in this world is facing your own demons. In the world of pro wrestling, those demons are your worst instincts of violence. The second scariest thing is realizing that they don't truly go away if you ignore them. Instincts are just that, instincts. That was my 'chaos' - I didn't think, I just acted. But the scariest thing in this world is realizing that you wasted your career and your life by under-performing because you couldn't handle the search for that threshold - that crucial but fuzzy line between competing your hardest with the noble pursuit of winning and succumbing to violence to justify the ends of victory. And why? Because you are so worried that you are going to turn into me, that you curb your own aggression at a lower line than you need to: at a lower line than you have any right to if you claim the title of warrior. To cope with your inability to face these thoughts head on, you turn yourselves into thespians congratulating each other on your 'performances' and 'fan ratings.' You destroy the warrior culture so you won't see a coward in the mirror.
But professional wrestling is war. You fight until you win and any other mentality is toxic. You don't accept victory under any terms except defeating your opponent. Any other metrics are contrived to make you feel better about losing. And the very desire to feel better about losing is, itself, a way to placate you from avoiding the search for your threshold.
I do not claim now, nor will I ever, to have found a threshold that is both perfect and permanent because it continually changes with who I am as a person and who I face as a competitor. But that uncertainty is not enough to stop me from hunting that threshold in every situation I find myself in. And I have come back to pro wrestling to achieve three goals: master my threshold between victory and violence, show others how that goal can benefit them, and win Championships. I am now one step closer to the third goal. If Matt Rivers takes my words to heart, he may help me achieve my second one. However, if these words stir animus in him that comes out in our match, I will have to work hard to maintain my first one.
*The angle of Geese's face lowers a little and his expression turns into a smirk.*
[Geese:] "UBL - you no longer have me to blame for your own limitations. At Matsuki Mobile, I won decisively against one of the best in UBL and yet RYOMA is still walking. Therefore, I proved that if you desire to win, you do not have to back down just because you fear turning into a ruthless, violent, sociopath. Victory and glory can only come if you push yourself to that line and work right up to it, never crossing it. I don't expect you to find it overnight, but if you lie to yourself that it is attainable and necessary then you will never find it. It is the only way you can truly grow and accomplish your legacy."
*Geese lies back down and attempts another sit-up, holding it until he is about to shout from agony, then dropping down and breathing. He smiles from both the accomplishment and the strain as the scene fades out.*
Geese Walker is lying on a yoga mat and breathing heavily. His neck, ribs, and shoulders are taped. He slowly raises his head and upper body to attempt a sit-up but then winces from pain. However, rather than lie back down, he holds his position until finally giving up from exhaustion. After a few seconds, he rolls over to his stomach, sits up, and grabs a nearby water bottle. After drinking about half the bottle, he sets it down and then looks at the camera.*
[Geese:] "Three possibilities loomed over me this morning as I made the decision to go to the gym. Since I wrestled RYOMA just three nights ago, my body clearly remained in a damaged state. The victory was mine but the lion's share of the spoils went toward paying the medical staff who attended to both of us for the past two days."
*Geese smirks*
[Geese:] "So I asked myself whether I could handle a workout. Then I asked myself whether I could afford not to do so. After all, even some light exercise could do wonders for my body and prevent it from building up lactic acid which would make me feel even tighter. As it is, thanks to RYOMA's lariats and powerbombs, I can barely turn my neck to the side.
However, just as I knew the benefits from the proper amount of exercise, I also knew the risks of pushing myself beyond it. I could turn my temporary pain into an actual injury if my body, mind, or spirit wasn't up to the task. That would certainly be worse than missing just one day of exercise. On initial observation, the costs seem to outweigh the benefits. But what if there was some way to avoid either extreme? To work right up until that threshold of risk but no further? After all, being here has benefits but only if I'm willing to work beyond the comfortable and into the area of risk. If I just lie on the floor all day, I won't gain any of the value of exercise nor would I take on the risk of injury. Should I shy away from that worst case scenario, and derive no gain, if I actually have confidence that I can avoid crossing that blurry line of risk?"
*Geese smiles without a sarcastic expression. Then a look of purpose appears.*
[Geese:] "What if I said that I've devoted the past six years of my life trying to find my thresholds in exactly these situations? What if I told you I've been mastering the ability to operate right up to but without crossing that crucial line? Would that pursuit be seen as brave or reckless? Are these words the testimonials of a wise man or the ramblings of a fool?
If we're finding thresholds, maybe even that statement has one.
But for me, the truth doesn't always lie in the middle. It lies precisely where one is most uncomfortable facing their fears.
RYOMA, Kazuo Saji, JET Hamada, Matt Rivers - you are all guilty of backing down from those fears. You continue to shy away from finding your true threshold and, therefore, continue to fall shy of reaching your highest potential.
I am fully aware that the answer to the next question is 'Orochi Geese' but what are you all so afraid of turning into? Yes, it is me...the 'me' years ago that yelled chaos and executed it in the most horrific of ways. But that 'me' didn't form at a snails pace over the years, nor was it an issue of 'slippery slope' either. Rather, he was born over night in 2005 when I was attacked in PW-W by Spunk. The me that returned from that attack never worried about nuance or lines, just revenge.
I don't see that look in any of your eyes and I never have. Anyone with honor in their hearts has no legitimate concerns of turning into me in just one match by being more aggressive to seek the victory and by being disgusted with the idea of a loss. The 'worst case scenario' is not remotely likely for those who aren't already seeking it and yet so many of you secretly harbor it as the reason for how you fail to act. After all, what other excuse do you have for continuing the charade that the paramount goal in professional wrestling is getting the fans to chant for your opponent shaking your hand?
JET Hamada was humiliated at Base 11 and swore with pride to even the score with Tetsu. So why did he swallow that fire and shake Tetsu's hand immediately after losing to him again at Matsuki Mobile? He looked more scared at the duration of time that went by without congratulating Tetsu than he did at having to face himself in the mirror later that night. I don't envy what he saw when that finally occurred. Thunder Strike was correct to call out his frustration a few weeks ago. That is the side effect of someone who suppresses their goals because they are afraid of what they have to do to earn them. But what they fear most is the threshold between what they can do and what they shouldn't do, so they don't push the former.
Kazuo Saji almost lost his Aftermath Championship last week due to Blaze causing outside interference. So why didn't Saji come at Blaze at Matsuki Mobile with all the rage a man should have in that situation? Why didn't he send a stronger message to Samael before their Title match this month? Why hasn't Saji finally confronted Yoshirozuna about injuring him for half a year in 2015? Because he is afraid, not of Yoshirozuna, but of his own worst instincts. The most frustrating part is that I warned Saji about this concept two years ago, only to see no change in his current behavior. Yes, he won a Championship but he doesn't have the will to truly defend it because he refuses to find that threshold. Samael will crush him because Saji is afraid of the monster he could possibly turn into in order to defeat monsters. But he doesn't have to go beyond that threshold, nor did he do so in knocking out Matthias two years ago when he tried to attack both of us.
As for my storied opponent - RYOMA lost at Matsuki Mobile because he lacked the will to do all he needed to win. I saw his expression every time he landed one of his nearly invincible weapons. He winced. He was concerned about what an injury to me would do to his reputation and, most of all, his conscience. But as Thunder said to JET about Barton, injuries are endemic to professional wrestling even if they are not intentionally inflicted. I didn't try to hurt RYOMA, but I would have understood if such a result occurred due to the moves that I used and the intensity in which I continued to deliver them. Every man signs a contract of assumed risk when walking into a combat ring and his opponent is bound to acknowledge that. One can not be reasonably asked to assume the risk of their opponent when also trying to achieve victory. But RYOMA, rather than grapple with these difficult questions, instead reduced everything to modern views of sportsmanship. He seemed most concerned that an injury to me would mean the crowd wouldn't clap for our post match handshake.
This sickens me. On it's face it's obscene, but the mentality that lurks below it is far more toxic."
*A look of utter disgust flashes on Geese's face.*
[Geese:] "Orochi Geese is no longer your biggest enemy. Your biggest enemy is now you. Their finisher is casting doubt on your confidence in finding your threshold. Meanwhile, I'm the one your mind is using to rationalize its own cowardice. To avoid turning into me, you have paralyzed your own development as wrestlers, competitors, warriors, and people.
The third scariest thing in this world is facing your own demons. In the world of pro wrestling, those demons are your worst instincts of violence. The second scariest thing is realizing that they don't truly go away if you ignore them. Instincts are just that, instincts. That was my 'chaos' - I didn't think, I just acted. But the scariest thing in this world is realizing that you wasted your career and your life by under-performing because you couldn't handle the search for that threshold - that crucial but fuzzy line between competing your hardest with the noble pursuit of winning and succumbing to violence to justify the ends of victory. And why? Because you are so worried that you are going to turn into me, that you curb your own aggression at a lower line than you need to: at a lower line than you have any right to if you claim the title of warrior. To cope with your inability to face these thoughts head on, you turn yourselves into thespians congratulating each other on your 'performances' and 'fan ratings.' You destroy the warrior culture so you won't see a coward in the mirror.
But professional wrestling is war. You fight until you win and any other mentality is toxic. You don't accept victory under any terms except defeating your opponent. Any other metrics are contrived to make you feel better about losing. And the very desire to feel better about losing is, itself, a way to placate you from avoiding the search for your threshold.
I do not claim now, nor will I ever, to have found a threshold that is both perfect and permanent because it continually changes with who I am as a person and who I face as a competitor. But that uncertainty is not enough to stop me from hunting that threshold in every situation I find myself in. And I have come back to pro wrestling to achieve three goals: master my threshold between victory and violence, show others how that goal can benefit them, and win Championships. I am now one step closer to the third goal. If Matt Rivers takes my words to heart, he may help me achieve my second one. However, if these words stir animus in him that comes out in our match, I will have to work hard to maintain my first one.
*The angle of Geese's face lowers a little and his expression turns into a smirk.*
[Geese:] "UBL - you no longer have me to blame for your own limitations. At Matsuki Mobile, I won decisively against one of the best in UBL and yet RYOMA is still walking. Therefore, I proved that if you desire to win, you do not have to back down just because you fear turning into a ruthless, violent, sociopath. Victory and glory can only come if you push yourself to that line and work right up to it, never crossing it. I don't expect you to find it overnight, but if you lie to yourself that it is attainable and necessary then you will never find it. It is the only way you can truly grow and accomplish your legacy."
*Geese lies back down and attempts another sit-up, holding it until he is about to shout from agony, then dropping down and breathing. He smiles from both the accomplishment and the strain as the scene fades out.*