SWA Report: Kazuo Saji (11/3)
Nov 2, 2019 23:33:39 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Nov 2, 2019 23:33:39 GMT -5
*The camera fades in to John Randolph standing in front of a UBL banner.*
[John:] "Even though Kazuo "Chrome" Saji is not allowed to participate in any UBL reindeer games until next summer, we are not prevented from discussing him. He is still on our roster, after all. Promoting our talent is our right. Kazuo is now spending the majority of his time training with Matsuki Holding and competing in Sierra Wrestling All-Stars and C!C. Drake and Luke both requested that I re-broadcast this promo from the SWA TV show on November 2nd. After hearing what he had to say here, think twice about angering him any further."
*The scene fades in to a locker room where Kazuo "Chrome" Saji is sitting on a bench breathing heavy. His cell phone is next to him with his text message screen currently active. And the locker right in front of him is busted as if it buckled through the middle with ripples of metal emanating out to the sides.*
[Kazuo:] "Samael *breathes* Tangaroa. What's in a f'n name?"
*Saji takes a swig of a water bottle that he pulls out from his gym bag.*
[Kazuo:] "Let's start with 'Samael.' I'm not into 'Basic Demonomics' but I hear a demon goes by that name. And that is perfect cuz I'm mad as hell right now. So let's talk a little about what got ole Chrome so shined up.
I get suspended from UBL cause a beta troll went corporate and got his lawyer to do his dirty work. Then that same lawyer breaks the arm of my mentor, RYOMA. Two months later, one of my best friends, Tetsu Gushiken, loses his Title in his last scheduled match before making it a year long reign. And oh yeah, then this shit happens:
*Saji holds up his phone showing a text message from Connor Cipris saying: "bro" and linking to an SWA update..
[Kazuo:] "See, while I was helping out my Matsuki fam, Samael injured my other best friend, Connor.
Now it's war. Samael, I got you next. No other challengers, no more peeps injured. I'm putting a stop to this shit.
And I know what you're all thinking."
*Saji uses a mocking whining voice*
'Hey Chrome Dome, didn't you lose your SWA Aftermath Championship to Samael in the first place? Why do you think you can take him out now when he's left a trail of bodies more accomplished than you?"
*Saji goes back to his regular voice which he assures us is completely masculine and virile*
[Kazuo:] "I'm not the same banger I used to be. Not only have I won two separate singles Titles in the C!C in the past six months, but my war with Samael just got personal. So I'm going Super-Sajiyan on his ass.
Check it - last time it was just about being on the defense in trying to keep my Title against him. But I learned you don't win trying to not lose. Now it's about taking that title and wrapping it around his f'n throat. Cause I got some news for you, Samael, You're not the first big dog I put down. Three years ago, I stood across the ring and interviewed Geese Walker at Matsuki Mobile: Royale. But we were rudely interrupted by some Destiny drones. One of them wanted to throw hands.
Then I knocked him out of the known universe and looked f'n fly doing it."
*Saji shows a cell phone video of this moment*
[Kazuo:] "Guess what? Homebitch hasn't been seen since. The biggest and most dangerous in all of Destiny got put down by this leg, the same leg that just did some interior decorating here."
*Saji points to the broken locker in front of him.*
[Kazuo:] "What some people don't know is that a week after I maimed Matthias, I was hanging in the UBL Dojo and two peeps came up to me: Thunder Strike and Alicia Gordon. First time I met them, it didn't go too well. But this time was different. They paid me mad respect for doing Matthias dirty. Alicia said I used her AG-47 move to put down the beast, but it was the best she saw anyone else ever use it. Samael, ask around the SWA Joshi roster. They'll tell you Leesh was the baddest bitch in OG-Joshi. She put down monsters with that same move.
So I've got my Chrome Splitter all loosened up up for you. And I'm ready to dance all over your face.
Cause that brings me to the second part of your name - Tangoroa. It's fitting. The tango is the forbidden dance and I'm about to get banned from yet another promotion after what I do to you. See ya in hell, bitch."
*Saji spits at the camera and walks away*
[John:] "Even though Kazuo "Chrome" Saji is not allowed to participate in any UBL reindeer games until next summer, we are not prevented from discussing him. He is still on our roster, after all. Promoting our talent is our right. Kazuo is now spending the majority of his time training with Matsuki Holding and competing in Sierra Wrestling All-Stars and C!C. Drake and Luke both requested that I re-broadcast this promo from the SWA TV show on November 2nd. After hearing what he had to say here, think twice about angering him any further."
*The scene fades in to a locker room where Kazuo "Chrome" Saji is sitting on a bench breathing heavy. His cell phone is next to him with his text message screen currently active. And the locker right in front of him is busted as if it buckled through the middle with ripples of metal emanating out to the sides.*
[Kazuo:] "Samael *breathes* Tangaroa. What's in a f'n name?"
*Saji takes a swig of a water bottle that he pulls out from his gym bag.*
[Kazuo:] "Let's start with 'Samael.' I'm not into 'Basic Demonomics' but I hear a demon goes by that name. And that is perfect cuz I'm mad as hell right now. So let's talk a little about what got ole Chrome so shined up.
I get suspended from UBL cause a beta troll went corporate and got his lawyer to do his dirty work. Then that same lawyer breaks the arm of my mentor, RYOMA. Two months later, one of my best friends, Tetsu Gushiken, loses his Title in his last scheduled match before making it a year long reign. And oh yeah, then this shit happens:
*Saji holds up his phone showing a text message from Connor Cipris saying: "bro" and linking to an SWA update..
[Kazuo:] "See, while I was helping out my Matsuki fam, Samael injured my other best friend, Connor.
Now it's war. Samael, I got you next. No other challengers, no more peeps injured. I'm putting a stop to this shit.
And I know what you're all thinking."
*Saji uses a mocking whining voice*
'Hey Chrome Dome, didn't you lose your SWA Aftermath Championship to Samael in the first place? Why do you think you can take him out now when he's left a trail of bodies more accomplished than you?"
*Saji goes back to his regular voice which he assures us is completely masculine and virile*
[Kazuo:] "I'm not the same banger I used to be. Not only have I won two separate singles Titles in the C!C in the past six months, but my war with Samael just got personal. So I'm going Super-Sajiyan on his ass.
Check it - last time it was just about being on the defense in trying to keep my Title against him. But I learned you don't win trying to not lose. Now it's about taking that title and wrapping it around his f'n throat. Cause I got some news for you, Samael, You're not the first big dog I put down. Three years ago, I stood across the ring and interviewed Geese Walker at Matsuki Mobile: Royale. But we were rudely interrupted by some Destiny drones. One of them wanted to throw hands.
Then I knocked him out of the known universe and looked f'n fly doing it."
*Saji shows a cell phone video of this moment*
[Kazuo:] "Guess what? Homebitch hasn't been seen since. The biggest and most dangerous in all of Destiny got put down by this leg, the same leg that just did some interior decorating here."
*Saji points to the broken locker in front of him.*
[Kazuo:] "What some people don't know is that a week after I maimed Matthias, I was hanging in the UBL Dojo and two peeps came up to me: Thunder Strike and Alicia Gordon. First time I met them, it didn't go too well. But this time was different. They paid me mad respect for doing Matthias dirty. Alicia said I used her AG-47 move to put down the beast, but it was the best she saw anyone else ever use it. Samael, ask around the SWA Joshi roster. They'll tell you Leesh was the baddest bitch in OG-Joshi. She put down monsters with that same move.
So I've got my Chrome Splitter all loosened up up for you. And I'm ready to dance all over your face.
Cause that brings me to the second part of your name - Tangoroa. It's fitting. The tango is the forbidden dance and I'm about to get banned from yet another promotion after what I do to you. See ya in hell, bitch."
*Saji spits at the camera and walks away*